Produced by John Bickers
THE WALLET OF KAI LUNG
By Ernest Bramah
"Ho, illustrious passers-by!" says Kai Lung as he spreads out his embroidered mat under the mulberry-tree. "It is indeed unlikely that you could condescend to stop and listen to the foolish words of such an insignificant and altogether deformed person as myself. Nevertheless, if you will but retard your elegant footsteps for a few moments, this exceedingly unprepossessing individual will endeavour to entertain you." This is a collection of Kai Lung's entertaining tales, told professionally in the market places as he travelled about; told sometimes to occupy and divert the minds of his enemies when they were intent on torturing him.
CHAPTER I. THE TRANSMUTATION OF LING
I: INTRODUCTION
The sun had dipped behind the western mountains before Kai Lung, withtwenty li or more still between him and the city of Knei Yang, enteredthe camphor-laurel forest which stretched almost to his destination.No person of consequence ever made the journey unattended; but Kai Lungprofessed to have no fear, remarking with extempore wisdom, when warnedat the previous village, that a worthless garment covered one withbetter protection than that afforded by an army of bowmen. Nevertheless,when within the gloomy aisles, Kai Lung more than once wished himselfback at the village, or safely behind the mud walls of Knei Yang; and,making many vows concerning the amount of prayer-paper which he wouldassuredly burn when he was actually through the gates, he steppedout more quickly, until suddenly, at a turn in the glade, he stoppedaltogether, while the watchful expression into which he had unguardedlydropped at once changed into a mask of impassiveness and extremeunconcern. From behind the next tree projected a long straight rod, notunlike a slender bamboo at a distance, but, to Kai Lung's all-seeingeye, in reality the barrel of a matchlock, which would come into linewith his breast if he took another step. Being a prudent man, moreaccustomed to guile and subservience to destiny than to force, hetherefore waited, spreading out his hands in proof of his peacefulacquiescence, and smiling cheerfully until it should please the ownerof the weapon to step forth. This the unseen did a moment later, stillkeeping his gun in an easy and convenient attitude, revealing a stoutbody and a scarred face, which in conjunction made it plain to Kai Lungthat he was in the power of Lin Yi, a noted brigand of whom he had heardmuch in the villages.
"O illustrious person," said Kai Lung very earnestly, "this is evidentlyan unfortunate mistake. Doubtless you were expecting some exaltedMandarin to come and render you homage, and were preparing to overwhelmhim with gratified confusion by escorting him yourself to yourwell-appointed abode. Indeed, I passed such a one on the road, veryrichly apparelled, who inquired of me the way to the mansion of thedignified and upright Lin Yi. By this time he is perhaps two or three litowards the east."
"However distinguished a Mandarin may be, it is fitting that I shouldfirst attend to one whose manners and accomplishments betray him to beof the Royal House," replied Lin Yi, with extreme affability. "Precedeme, therefore, to my mean and uninviting hovel, while I gain morehonour than I can reasonably bear by following closely in your elegantfootsteps, and guarding your Imperial person with this inadequate butheavily-loaded weapon."
Seeing no chance of immediate escape, Kai Lung led the way, instructedby the brigand, along a very difficult and bewildering path, until theyreached a cave hidden among the crags. Here Lin Yi called out some wordsin the Miaotze tongue, whereupon a follower appeared, and opened a gatein the stockade of prickly mimosa which guarded the mouth of the den.Within the enclosure a fire burned, and food was being prepared. At aword from the chief, the unfortunate Kai Lung found his hands seized andtied behind his back, while a second later a rough hemp rope was fixedround his neck, and the other end tied to an overhanging tree.
Lin Yi smiled pleasantly and critically upon these preparations, andwhen they were complete dismissed his follower.
"Now we can converse at our ease and without restraint," he remarked toKai Lung. "It will be a distinguished privilege for a person occupyingthe important public position which you undoubtedly do; for myself,my instincts are so degraded and low-minded that nothing gives me moregratification than to dispense with ceremony."
To this Kai Lung made no reply, chiefly because at that moment the windswayed the tree, and compelled him to stand on his toes in order toescape suffocation.
"It would be useless to try to conceal from a person of your inspiredintelligence that I am indeed Lin Yi," continued the robber. "It is adignified position to occupy, and one for which I am quite incompetent.In the sixth month of the third year ago, it chanced that this unworthyperson, at that time engaged in commercial affairs at Knei Yang, becameinextricably immersed in the insidious delights of quail-fighting.Having been entrusted with a large number of taels with which topurchase elephants' teeth, it suddenly occurred to him that if hedoubled the number of taels by staking them upon an exceedingly powerfuland agile quail, he would be able to purchase twice the number of teeth,and so benefit his patron to a large extent. This matter was clearlyforced upon his notice by a dream, in which he perceived one whom hethen understood to be the benevolent spirit of an ancestor in the actof stroking a particular quail, upon whose chances he accordinglyplaced all he possessed. Doubtless evil spirits had been employed in thematter; for, to this person's great astonishment, the quail in questionfailed in a very discreditable manner at the encounter. Unfortunately,this person had risked not only the money which had been entrusted tohim, but all that he had himself become possessed of by some years ofhonourable toil and assiduous courtesy as a professional witness inlaw cases. Not doubting that his patron would see that he was himselfgreatly to blame in confiding so large a sum of money to a comparativelyyoung man of whom he knew little, this person placed the matter beforehim, at the same time showing him that he would suffer in the eyes ofthe virtuous if he did not restore this person's savings, which but forthe presence of the larger sum, and a generous desire to benefit hispatron, he would never have risked in so uncertain a venture as that ofquail-fighting. Although the facts were laid in the form of a dignifiedrequest instead of a demand by legal means, and the reasoning carefullydrawn up in columns of fine parchment by a very illustrious writer, thereply which this person received showed him plainly that a wrong viewhad been taken of the matter, and that the time had arrived when itbecame necessary for him to make a suitable rejoinder by leaving thecity without delay."
"It was a high-minded and disinterested course to take," said KaiLung with great conviction, as Lin Yi paused. "Without doubt evil willshortly overtake the avaricious-souled person at Knei Yang."
"It has already done so," replied Lin Yi. "While passing through thisforest in the season of Many White Vapours, the spirits of his bad deedsappeared to him in misleading and symmetrical shapes, and drew him outof the path and away from his bowmen. After suffering many torments, hefound his way here, where, in spite of our continual care, he perishedmiserably and in great bodily pain.... But I cannot conceal frommyself, in spite of your distinguished politeness, that I am becomingintolerably tiresome with my commonplace talk."
"On the contrary," replied Kai Lung, "while listening to your voice Iseemed to hear the beating of many gongs of the finest and most polishedbrass. I floated in the Middle Air, and for the time I even becameunconscious of the fact that this honourable appendage, thoughfashioned, as I perceive, out of the most delicate silk, makes itexceedingly difficult for me to breathe."
"Such a thing cannot be permitted," exclaimed Lin Yi, with someindignation, as with his own hands he slackened the rope and, taking itfrom Kai Lung's neck, fastened it around his ankle. "Now, in return formy uninviting confidences, shall not my senses be gladdened by a recitalof the titles
and honours borne by your distinguished family? Doubtless,at this moment many Mandarins of the highest degree are anxiouslyawaiting your arrival at Knei Yang, perhaps passing the time by outdoingone another in protesting the number of taels each would give ratherthan permit you to be tormented by fire-brands, or even to lose a singleear."
"Alas!" replied Kai Lung, "never was there a truer proverb than thatwhich says, 'It is a mark of insincerity of purpose to spend one'stime in looking for the sacred Emperor in the low-class tea-shops.'Do Mandarins or the friends of Mandarins travel in mean garments andunattended? Indeed, the person who is now before you is none other thanthe outcast Kai Lung, the story-teller, one of degraded habits and novery distinguished or reputable ancestors. His friends are few, andmostly of the criminal class; his wealth is not more than some six oreight cash, concealed in his left sandal; and his entire stock-in-tradeconsists of a few unendurable and badly told stories, to which, however,it is his presumptuous intention shortly to add a dignified narrativeof the high-born Lin Yi, setting out his domestic virtues and thehonour which he has reflected upon his house, his valour in war, thedestruction of his enemies, and, above all, his great benevolence andthe protection which he extends to the poor and those engaged in thedistinguished arts."
"The absence of friends is unfortunate," said Lin Yi thoughtfully, afterhe had possessed himself of the coins indicated by Kai Lung, and alsoof a much larger amount concealed elsewhere among the story-teller'sclothing. "My followers are mostly outlawed Miaotze, who have beendriven from their own tribes in Yun Nan for man-eating and disregardingthe sacred laws of hospitality. They are somewhat rapacious, and in thisway it has become a custom that they should have as their own, forthe purpose of exchanging for money, persons such as yourself, whoseinsatiable curiosity has led them to this place."
"The wise and all-knowing Emperor Fohy instituted three degrees ofattainment: Being poor, to obtain justice; being rich, to escapeflattery; and being human, to avoid the passions," replied Kai Lung."To these the practical and enlightened Kang added yet another, thegreatest: Being lean, to yield fatness."
"In such cases," observed the brigand, "the Miaotze keep an honoured andvery venerable rite, which chiefly consists in suspending the offenderby a pigtail from a low tree, and placing burning twigs of hemp-palmbetween his toes. To this person it seems a foolish and meaninglesshabit; but it would not be well to interfere with their religiousobservances, however trivial they may appear."
"Such a course must inevitably end in great loss," suggested Kai Lung;"for undoubtedly there are many poor yet honourable persons who wouldleave with them a bond for a large number of taels and save the moneywith which to redeem it, rather than take part in a ceremony which isnot according to one's own Book of Rites."
"They have already suffered in that way on one or two occasions,"replied Lin Yi; "so that such a proposal, no matter how nobly intended,would not gladden their faces. Yet they are simple and docile persons,and would, without doubt, be moved to any feeling you should desire bythe recital of one of your illustrious stories."
"An intelligent and discriminating assemblage is more to a story-tellerthan much reward of cash from hands that conceal open mouths," repliedKai Lung with great feeling. "Nothing would confer more pleasurableagitation upon this unworthy person than an opportunity of narratinghis entire stock to them. If also the accomplished Lin Yi would bestowrenown upon the occasion by his presence, no omen of good would bewanting."
"The pleasures of the city lie far behind me," said Lin Yi, aftersome thought, "and I would cheerfully submit myself to an intellectualaccomplishment such as you are undoubtedly capable of. But as we havenecessity to leave this spot before the hour when the oak-leaves changeinto night-moths, one of your amiable stories will be the utmost we canstrengthen our intellects with. Select which you will. In the meantime,food will be brought to refresh you after your benevolent exertionsin conversing with a person of my vapid understanding. When you havepartaken, or thrown it away as utterly unendurable, the time will havearrived, and this person, together with all his accomplices, will putthemselves in a position to be subjected to all the most dignifiedemotions."
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