by Brenda Grate
“Maybe I can meet you in Italy in a couple of weeks if you stay that long,” she said. “I’m sure Gregg could arrange a little time off.”
“That’s a great idea, Jill,” Anna said. She gave her sister another kiss and they all watched Jilly drag her small carry-on suitcase behind her as she headed for her gate. Chris slipped an arm around Anna and she snuggled closer. The novelty of being with him felt new every day. She still couldn’t believe he’d agreed to take time off work and come with them to Italy.
“We better hurry or we’ll miss our plane,” Mamma said.
Her face was paler than usual that morning, but it was the only outward sign of her inward tension. Anna could only imagine the turmoil Mamma must have been going through. She didn’t think her imagination was even up to that. Anna gave her an encouraging smile and was happy to see Mamma respond. She promised herself she would try not to get too caught up with Chris because Mamma needed her too.
She’d told Chris the story, with Mamma’s blessing. He’d ranted, raved and swore when he heard what her grandmother had done. After he heard the whole story, he agreed going to Italy was the best thing for Mamma.
“She needs to forgive herself first and then she can let go of what her mother did,” Chris said.
“You’re right, but how can she do it? It would be so brutal to have to face her mother, especially after all these years.”
“We don’t even know if her mother’s still alive.”
“Yes, of course you’re right. It’s actually more likely she’s passed on. I just hope that Mamma can find some peace even if that’s the case.”
“Inner peace is never dependent on another person,” Chris said.
He pulled Anna into his arms. They both knew it wasn’t just Mamma he was talking about.
Chris took the lead on the way to their gate, pulling Mamma’s suitcase behind him along with his own. He refused to allow her to pull her suitcase. He’d even started calling her Mamma as well. Anna could see how much it touched her mother to have him treat her the way he did. It just made Anna love him more.
Anna thought about the past couple of weeks as she followed Chris and Mamma. So much had changed, and she hadn’t done much more than open her heart to possibilities. She’d taken the initiative to walk away from her old life and everything that had made her unhappy and walked into a new life where everything was unknown, but the possibilities where endless.
Rob had already hired a lawyer and was trying to get the divorce proceedings going. Anna knew it would take at least a year, because they had to be separated that long before they could even obtain a divorce, but she knew Rob wouldn’t spend the time idle. She’d deal with all that after they got home. For now, she would enjoy her first trip to Europe.
They arrived at their gate, and Chris made sure Mamma was settled comfortably while she protested that he was treating her like an old woman. Anna smiled as Chris fussed and Mamma pretended it bothered her.
After a short wait, the attendant announced their flight was boarding. Mamma had insisted on paying for the entire trip since they were going with her as moral support. She’d gotten them first-class tickets on the huge jet. Anna had never flown first-class, but she was very glad she didn’t have to sit crammed up against someone for the nine-hour flight. They would be flying in style.
Mamma had gone to sleep, her face turned toward the plane window, or was pretending so Anna and Chris could have some privacy. Anna was continually surprised at how much her mother had changed. Or was I the one who changed? Maybe I can finally see who she really is and was all along now that my every need isn’t wrapped up in her.
Chris took her hand in his and squeezed just enough to get her attention. “Hundred dollars for your thoughts, Bella.”
Anna turned her head against the soft, leather seat and smiled into his blue eyes. “Bella? And why a hundred?”
Chris flashed his teeth. “Bella is a name for a beautiful woman in Italian. I’m practicing. And a hundred because your thoughts are so much more valuable than most.”
Anna let out a small chuckle. “And how would you know that? Most of my thoughts are pretty mundane.”
“Nothing about you is mundane, Bella.” Chris’s face turned serious. “I’ll never stop being grateful you’re in my life again.”
Anna shook her head as she studied him. “Are you even real, Chris Mackenzie?”
His eyes twinkled at her. “Better keep your eyes on me at all times.”
My own personal leprechaun.
Anna smiled and faced forward, her hand still in his. I’ll never take my eyes off you again. Her lids drooped and she settled back into the comfortable seat. This is the way to fly. Anna drifted off with all the memories of Chris playing like a movie. The memories of him were even clearer than her last ten years with Rob.
Chapter 27
Fiumicino Airport was modern and graceful. Anna let her gaze wander to all the exotic things around her. The shops were beautiful, the people even more so. She’d grown up in Toronto where the ladies prided themselves on dressing well, at the height of fashion. But they didn’t even hold a candle to the Italian women. The scarves, the boots, glossy hair, and perfect make-up. She decided she needed to spend a little time shopping in Rome. Maybe she’d just throw out everything in her suitcase and fill it up again with new things. I’m going to get a lot of money in the divorce, so why not splurge a little?
Anna glanced at Mamma and grasped her arm. Mamma’s face was so white, Anna was afraid she was going to faint.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, darling, I’m just fine.” Mamma’s voice wobbled a little, but grew stronger. “I’m just nervous, that’s all. And tired. Once we get to the hotel and settle in, I’ll have a nap and be myself again.”
Anna patted Mamma’s arm. She worried how Mamma would react to being in Italy again. Mamma’s arm trembled beneath Anna’s hand. She would keep a close eye on Mamma and do her best to give her the support she needed.
They exited the main doors and saw a man standing in front of a long black Cadillac. He held up a sign that said di Rossi. Chris turned toward him and handed over their luggage while Anna helped Mamma into the back seat. Anna climbed in beside her, and Chris got into the front seat. The car was spacious and luxurious.
Mamma seemed to want to be quiet, so Anna looked out the window as they drove. Chris asked the driver questions about Italy and showed how informed he was as they discussed recent politics and the state of the economy. Anna smiled to herself. Chris lived life with such enthusiasm. It made her feel ashamed of her own apathy. She promised herself she’d take a page from his book.
The architecture of Rome was so breathtaking that Anna soon forgot anything but what she was seeing. She was amazed at all the stone. It was surprising there was anything solid left to build on considering how many stones had been removed from the earth in order to build such mammoth structures. They hadn’t even reached the old part of Rome. It gave Anna a strange feeling, one she couldn’t identify, to see such an ancient culture.
Anna was pulled out of her reverie when the car turned into the hotel entrance. The place looked small and quaint, but she was sure it would be beautiful inside. Mamma wouldn’t have booked it otherwise, as she did everything with style. Anna now wondered if it was because of her poverty-stricken childhood. She knew that often when someone like that made it big, they never wanted to experience the old life again.
The driver opened the door, and Anna got out, staring at all the incredible sights, hardly able to believe where she stood. They were in the oldest part of Rome, and it showed. Not in the way of things being rundown—they were surprisingly well-maintained—but rather in the architecture. Anna had only seen buildings like these on television. It thrilled her to realize she belonged here, that all of her heritage was from the people who had such boundless creativity.
“Anna?”
Mamma pulled her out of her daze. “Oh, sorry, Mamma.” Anna took her mother�
�s hand and helped her out of the vehicle. Mamma stood, even shakier than at the airport.
“Come, let’s get you to your room. Chris can deal with checking us in.”
Chris nodded as he gathered the suitcases and tipped the driver. A bellboy came out of the hotel and started piling all the suitcases on a trolley. Mamma definitely didn’t pack with a light hand.
“I’ll come up to your room as soon as everything’s settled,” Chris said with a quick kiss on Anna’s cheek.
“Seguami per favore,” the bellboy said to Anna.
She followed him, not understanding what he’d said, but interpreting it from his actions. For the first time in her life, Anna found she had a desire to learn a language. She wished Mamma had taught them the language as children. In denying her mother any part of her life, Mamma had also lost all the things that were beloved in her heritage, especially her Papà. Oh, how I hope Nonno is still alive. Anna’s heart squeezed at the thought that they might be too late to meet him.
Anna got Mamma settled onto the bed in the beautiful suite. There were two beds and Mamma insisted that Anna stay with her and Chris could take the other suite. Anna was only too happy to comply considering that she and Chris hadn’t taken their relationship to the next level yet, and she didn’t want to leave Mamma alone. She reminded herself that Mamma was the important one on this trip.
“You go and take a walk around with that handsome man of yours, Annabella.”
Anna started at the name. It was the nickname Mamma had given her when she was tiny, but she hadn’t heard it in many years.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you alone for too long.”
Mamma laid her head back on the plush pillow and laughed softly. She had a musical laugh. Anna hadn’t heard it nearly enough. “I’m not an old woman. I’m just fine. I’m only shaky because I’m tired and terrified that I’m back in Italy. What if they’re still there?” she whispered.
Anna knew exactly what she meant. There was both hope and fear in Mamma’s voice. She hoped they would be alive so she could find the healing and the peace she was looking for, but she also feared it. It was exactly how Anna had felt when she’d flown into Toronto, her stomach a mass of nerves and her legs barely supporting her. She’d both hoped and feared seeing her Mamma again.
“It’ll work out. I feel sure of it,” Anna said as she sat down beside her mother.
Mamma patted her hand. “I’m sure it will. Now, you go and do some exploring. Maybe take a tour bus. I’m going to catch up on a little sleep.”
Mamma closed her eyes, but Anna didn’t miss how her lips tightened and her hands clenched around each other. There was nothing she could do, though, so Anna gave in to her mother’s wishes. She left the room and went to find Chris. The beautiful, timeless city of Roma awaited and she was excited to begin exploring. As she waited for the elevator, the portrait of her father came to her mind. She remembered his dark eyes and Roman nose. Such a handsome man. She hadn’t let her thoughts stray too far in his direction so far, but now that she was in his land, she wondered. Will Mamma want to find my father? What if we can’t find him? What if we do?
Chapter 28
The countryside captivated Anna as she watched it go by outside of the car window. Chris drove and Mamma sat in the back, insisting Anna sit beside her man. They were on their way to the city of Spoleto in Umbria. Anna had never heard of Umbria, but found it spectacular. She’d been reading a guidebook for part of the journey and learned that the region of Umbria is called “the green heart of Italy.” She could see it certainly lived up to its reputation. She couldn’t understand, though, how it could be so green when it rained so little. They’d been in Italy for three days—taking some time to rest and tour Rome before continuing on the trip—and every day had been beautiful with a sky like she’d never seen before. It was the clear blue of a swimming pool.
No wonder so many people want to live here, Anna thought to herself as she watched yet another ancient stone structure go by. It must have broken Mamma’s heart to leave.
The GPS voice told them their turn would be coming up in five hundred meters to the right. They had arrived in Spoleto.
Mamma mumbled something when they turned off the highway.
Anna turned in her seat to see a white face and trembling lips. “Mamma? You okay?” Anna reached out a hand and her mother grabbed onto it like she would never let go.
“This is it,” she whispered. “This is where I grew up.”
“The city?” Chris asked.
“No, we lived outside the city, on a small farm. But I was in Spoleto many times. I often went to the market with Papà.”
Anna was happy they were getting Mamma to talk. Maybe it would help her not to be so nervous about their quest.
“Our farm was very small,” she continued. “We didn’t have much land, but that was probably just as well since Papà didn’t work with his hands very well.” Mamma raised a shaky hand and brushed back her already perfectly coiffed hair. “I mean outside. He painted like a master.”
“Did he ever sell any of his paintings?” Chris asked as he navigated into the city. They’d decided to stay at the Palazzo Leti, a restored palace in the heart of the “centro storico,” the historical part of the city inside the ancient walls.
“As few as possible. He could hardly bear to part with them. He would take a few, and none of his best, to the local market and always sold them. My mother would pester him constantly that if he sold more of his work, we might actually live better. In that, she was right, I have to admit. I wonder how well he might have done, had he let his better pieces sell? But, on the other hand, I understand how he felt.”
Anna thought about how Mamma herself rarely parted with a painting. She kept most of hers at the Toronto gallery and sold just one or two a year. Luckily for her, those one or two kept her coffers full. She’d sold a lot more when she was younger and less in demand and that was how she’d achieved such a level of fame. Her paintings became famous not only for her technique, but for the mysterious little face.
Anna wondered at life. Sometimes it was the most painful situation that caused the greatest changes. If Mamma hadn’t gone through something so traumatic as a child, would she be as famous today for her paintings? She was a wonderful artist, there was no doubt of that, but it was the little face in every painting that drew people to her works. It was the mystery that Mamma would never talk about.
She’d let it slip once that the face showed up with no conscious effort, and that caused an uproar that was never forgotten. Knowing Mamma, she hadn’t let it slip with purpose, but she couldn’t have done anything better for her career.
“Look over there.” Mamma pointed at an ancient wall, the gateway into the medieval city. Chris drove through the huge arches as Anna craned her neck to look up. She couldn’t wait to begin exploring. Spoleto seemed to have a charm all of its own, very different from Rome, but beautiful all the same.
Chris continued to follow the directions of the GPS, while Anna got more and more worried that the car would get stuck in the narrow streets. She’d never seen streets so small, not even in Rome. She wondered how anyone could drive a car in here, let alone the big trucks that navigated their way through. The town and streets were built long before motor vehicles were invented, but as she’d already seen, few things stopped the Italians. They lived among the past and made it part of their present with barely a thought to how impractical it might be. That’s just the way life was in Italy. Anna found it charming.
Chris pulled into a parking spot with careful precision and turned off the car. He let out a long breath and it was only then that Anna realized how stressed he’d been. It was no wonder.
They climbed out of the car and walked through the arched entrance into the most beautiful garden terrace Anna had ever seen. It was rectangular-shaped and overlooked the spectacular view of the valley far below the city.
In front of her stood a fountain topped with a stone boy wres
tling a large fish. The detail was incredible. There were manicured shrubs in a geometric pattern all around the terrace, and at the end closest to her was a seating area with tables and chairs. At the other end was another fountain built into the wall. It had a statue of Neptune with his trident, and below was a large marble bowl filled with water.
“Have you seen this place before, Mamma?” Anna asked, awe filling her voice.
“No, I never got to explore this high into the city. We went to the market and back home most times. Papà didn’t want me to mix too much with the locals.”
Chris walked over from where he’d been studying the view. “He was afraid some boy would snatch you up.” He gave Mamma a bow and a wink.
Mamma smiled at him. “You have no idea how right you are, young man,” she said. “A young man did snatch me up and Papà was none too pleased.”
