by daisy harris
“The game is coming on!” Solomon called from the living room.
“Do you want to watch?” Elias asked Sara. He enjoyed football, though Sara had never shown any interest.
“Yes.” She wiped her hands on a dishcloth and made her way out to the living room.
Elias didn’t follow, though. He finished getting the potatoes peeled and cubed. Then he looked for a pot for the small turkey.
“Hey.” Joe came into the kitchen, filling the space with his presence. “Need a hand cooking?”
“I’m doing okay.” Elias took the package of stuffing mix out of the bags and read it.
“Well, at least let me get at the turkey. I didn’t look up this recipe online for nothing.” Joe pulled a piece of paper out of his back pocket and unfolded it to show Elias the picture of a perfectly cooked bird. Elias doubted their attempt was going to work as well as the one from allrecipes.com, but Elias was willing to try.
“Fine.” He took the sheet from Joe and turned to set the temperature on the oven.
Before he knew it, Joe was behind him. Elias held his breath, hoping Joe was just grabbing food off the counter, but Joe’s hand landed on Elias’s hip and gave a gentle squeeze.
“I missed you.” Joe leaned in close enough for Elias to feel crowded.
“Joe…” Elias eased away. He couldn’t do this here. Not with the sound of football in the next room and his brother and sister-in-law on the couch. “I—”
“You don’t have to say it back. But I think about you all the time, and when you’re ready, I’d like to take you out.”
“On a date?” He and Joe had bought groceries together and been to the pharmacy. They’d been to the wedding and to enough hospitals to last a lifetime. But they’d never gone out to dinner.
“Yeah.” Joe rubbed his thumb between Elias’s fingers. “Somewhere nice. You can see if you like me when I’m not being a grumpy asshole.”
Elias glanced at the tiled floor, blinking so his eyes wouldn’t get hot. He’d loved Joe even when he was a grumpy asshole. “I don’t know,” Elias whispered. “When?”
“Next week.” Joe moved closer.
Elias backed up a couple steps to peek into the living room. Solomon and Sara were sitting together on the couch, watching the football game. Something exciting must have happened because Sara bounced in her seat. But Solomon didn’t seem to notice the game because he was too busy smiling at his wife.
Not wanting to interrupt them, Elias ducked back into the kitchen.
“So, what about it?” Joe wove their hands together.
“I thought you’d said we would be friends.”
Joe shrugged, his smile easy and inviting. “Being friends doesn’t change that I want to kiss you.”
Elias’s chest drummed. Thud, thud, thud. He struggled to catch up with what Joe was saying because all Elias wanted to do was bury his face in Joe’s neck.
“And I think you want me too. At least a little.” Joe tucked a couple fingers under Elias’s chin and lifted. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have put up with my crap as long as you did.”
“Maybe I do.” Elias wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand. “But how do I know—?”
Joe swept in to kiss him, and the pounding of Elias’s heart drowned out the football game in the next room and the music in the background. Elias wrapped his arms around Joe’s shoulders because he had to taste the toothpaste on Joe’s lips, search for the tongue behind his teeth. Elias had thought he could live without this, but he needed it again, if only for a second.
“Oh.” Sara stood in the entryway to the kitchen, hands lax at her sides. Her mouth hung open.
“I’m sorry.” Elias jumped back a few steps. “Joe and I…”
Solomon appeared at the door. “Something the matter?” He regarded Elias and Joe with suspicion.
Elias didn’t mind that gaze leveled on him, but he refused to let his brother think badly of Joe. “My apologies,” he said to the both of them in Amharic. He wanted to speak something even Joe would understand, but Sara and Solomon were the bigger problem. “I misunderstood something Joe said and I—”
“Did I miss something?” Joe asked from behind him. He grabbed Elias’s arm and stepped around him to present a united front.
A look passed between Elias and Sara, and in that moment, Elias knew she would cover for him. The same way he’d covered for her all those times she’d cried.
But this time, Elias wouldn’t run away from the truth. “I kissed Joe.” Elias said it first in Amharic, but then he turned to Joe and repeated it in English. Pulse beating hard enough to make Elias’s vision blur, he forced his gaze up to meet Solomon’s.
Solomon’s nostrils flared, but he simply nodded and went back into the living room.
“I’m sorry,” Elias told Sara again, because she hadn’t left her spot by the door. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Do you think he’s angry?” she whispered as she moved farther into the kitchen.
Though Elias was shivering from head to toe, he struggled to figure out what had Sara concerned. “No. Well, maybe.” Elias wanted to peer around the edge of the wall and check his brother’s expression, but he opted not to. “The worst that could happen is he asks me to leave.”
Despite Elias’s fears of exactly that happening, Solomon’s reaction hadn’t seemed terribly upset.
“I don’t want you to leave.” Sara took his hand, possibly for the first time since they’d lived in the same house.
“Listen, I’m going to go watch the game,” Joe rumbled by Elias’s ear. Only then did he realize he and Sara had switched to Amharic and were leaving Joe out of the conversation.
Joe pushed out to the living room. For the space of almost a minute Elias and Sara stood in silence, heads cocked as they listened for shouts or even angry mutters. But unless Joe and Solomon were arguing under their breath, they appeared to be getting along.
“Would you like a beer?” Solomon asked. Perhaps his voice was overly loud, but Sara visibly relaxed from hearing it.
“Sure.” Joe’s sounded calm and cool, soothing over Elias’s twitching emotions.
“I’ll get one!” Elias called. He wasn’t sure he could handle either Joe or Solomon coming into the kitchen again. “Thank you,” he told Sara as he grabbed a beer out of the fridge.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” The corner of her lip twisted into a smile as she started chopping onions.
Chapter Seventeen
Joe wouldn’t exactly say Thanksgiving dinner was easy after that, but no one shouted. “This was delicious,” he said to Sara, gesturing around the table. He patted his belly, to give Sara a better chance to understand.
Under his breath, Elias whispered to her in Amharic, but Sara flicked her wrist, saying something that Joe guessed was, Yeah, dumbhead. I know.
“Can we help with dishes?” Joe didn’t want to overstay his welcome. Solomon and Sara might need to spend some time alone, hashing out the day’s revelations.
“Sara and I can clean up.” Solomon hadn’t met Joe’s gaze since the incident in the kitchen, but Joe didn’t get the sense Solomon was hostile. He likely felt awkward and unsure how to act. Joe got that. But the nice thing about not knowing how to act was it was easy to fall back on being courteous. Basic manners went a long way, and Elias’s family was nothing if not polite.
“I should take Joe home.” Elias stood from the table. He’d been twitchy all night.
Solomon and Sara retreated into the kitchen with plates and platters. The sound of them speaking to one another in rapid-fire, barely audible Amharic flowed under the quiet music that had been playing ever since Joe and Elias arrived.
“C’mon. Let’s go.” Joe took Elias’s hand and urged him to the door. He could tell by the way Elias bounced on his toes that he wanted to hang around, eavesdropping
on his brother and sister-in-law.
“Don’t,” Joe told him simply. “Let them talk.”
Elias picked up his jacket and followed Joe to the door. But on their way down the steps, he clutched Joe’s arm. Elias whispered, “What if they decide I can’t come back?”
Joe pulled Elias into a hug. “Then you can live with me, okay? No strings. You’re welcome to stay at my place as long as you want, and I’ll even come back here with you to get your stuff.”
They pushed into the fall night, where it was dark but not raining for once. Wet leaves crowded the curb by Elias’s tires, browning and smelling like rot.
When they climbed in the car, Joe took Elias’s hand and squeezed. He knew Elias liked a softer touch, but Joe needed to grip him, even if it was only for the car ride. He’d missed Elias so damn much. As a friend, as a lover. Funny, but Joe’d always thought a lover was someone you were having sex with, not necessarily that you loved. Now he understood. He and Elias could stick to frottage and blowjobs for the rest of their time together and be more lovers to one another than Joe and Dan ever were.
Elias turned up Union. He drove with one hand, his face set like he was scared to dart a glance Joe’s direction.
When they got to Joe’s apartment, he rubbed Elias’s arm through his sleeve. “Come upstairs a bit, okay? Give them a little time alone.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Elias blinked, like he’d just come into himself. He got out of the car.
They went inside and climbed the stairs, neither saying a word. And when they were in Joe’s apartment, Elias surprised Joe by stripping to underwear. Elias’s skin glowed in the streetlamps. When his eyes sparkled, they were as dark as night pools. “Can we do what we normally do? I…I know you may want more later, but tonight I need—”
“Yeah, hon. That’s fine.” Joe set his cane to the side. Proudly, he stood without it to take off his sweater and unbutton his shirt. “It sounds perfect.”
Elias fell to kneeling. He shuffled forward until he could rub his nose against Joe’s belly. Elias dragged open Joe’s belt and worked his pants out of the way. Before he got them off Joe’s hips, Elias closed his mouth over Joe’s cap and sucked deep. There was a whine in his breath, like he loved this and needed it and maybe needed Joe to give it to him.
Joe thanked his lucky stars he’d stopped in for a quick STI test last time he was at physical therapy. It made him feel better about Elias getting come in his mouth.
“So good.” Joe cupped the back of Elias’s head. “Get my pants off, okay? I want to get that tongue of yours all over.”
“Yes. Okay.”
Joe rested some of his weight on the nightstand as he kicked out of each pant leg. Then Elias was on him again, his mouth warm and his tongue searching. Unlike other times, Joe didn’t give any assistance. Instead he watched as Elias struggled to get more and more of Joe into his throat.
“What a good boy you are.” Joe rubbed Elias’s forehead and back into his hair. “Yeah, get all of it. You can do it.” Joe knew from experience Elias couldn’t. He’d gotten enough head in his life to know the entirety wouldn’t fit in anyone’s mouth, but he wanted to give Elias something to think about besides his family drama. “Okay, honey.” Joe touched Elias’s face, easing him off. “Let’s take this to the bed.”
Elias’s knees went wobbly as he clambered onto the mattress.
“So fucking pretty.” Joe rumbled the words in Elias’s ear. He lay back on the bed, shoving some pillows behind his head. His eyes sparkled, so knowing and so sexy Elias felt turned inside out.
“Start with my cock, and then I want your tongue on my balls.” Joe lounged like he hadn’t a care in the world. His smile was teasing. “C’mon, kid. Get down there.”
Elias scurried to the right spot, but he kept his hips tucked back. Just one touch of the covers and he worried he’d thrust until he came. He stretched his jaw around Joe’s girth.
“So good.” Joe pressed down, forcing Elias low enough his eyes watered. But as fast as Joe pushed, he eased back so Elias could breathe. “That’s it. This time relax your throat like you’re yawning.”
Elias did as told, and when Joe urged his head lower, Joe’s cockhead passed the barriers that had caught it before to press into some cavern at the back of Elias’s throat. He’d never known he could feel good like this, like Joe had found a new part of Elias to pleasure.
“Fuck, yeah.” Joe led him, deeper sometimes, and then shallow bobs at the tip, until Elias stopped thinking and stopped expecting. Until Elias opened up and let it happen.
“You’re doing so good.” Joe pulled him off, and then forced Elias’s face lower.
It was all Elias could do to gather up the spit to lave over Joe’s balls. Finally, Elias lay fully on the bed. The feel of his dick pressed tight on the mattress made him fight not to orgasm.
“Don’t you dare, hon.” Joe grabbed him by the cheeks, wrenching Elias’s face away. “Not until I let you.”
This was everything Elias wanted. He licked Joe all around, going farther behind to the tight skin of Joe’s pucker. Elias tasted and sucked and even turned his tongue into a point to force it inside.
All the while, the slick sound of Joe’s hand filled the dark apartment. Elias imagined that hard hand coming down on his ass, urging him faster. Making him Joe’s.
“I’m gonna come now, kid. You can swallow if you want.”
Elias hurried up to Joe’s cock and shoved as much of it in his mouth as he could. The first spurt burned on his scraped-sore throat, but it tore free the last of Elias’s restraint. Rutting into Joe’s good leg, Elias let sensation drag him under.
He pulled off to gasp, coming all over Joe’s leg.
By the end, Elias didn’t know where he ended and Joe began. Their lips were fused and their legs intertwined. Joe’s hands were everywhere. It didn’t matter if Joe hurt him again, because Elias wanted that pain. Anything, as long as Joe came back to him.
Joe seemed to sense the moment Elias was finished. He rubbed Elias’s back and murmured in his ear. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up?”
Elias nodded and went to the bathroom to shower. Though his body hummed, the reality that he needed to go home to Solomon settled in. As much as Elias wanted to sleep over, doing so would make it all the harder tomorrow.
When he went into the living room to see Joe, Elias kept the towel around his hips.
“Hey.” Joe came out of the kitchen, carrying two cups in his hand. “I made us some tea. You want some?”
Elias smiled so wide his face hurt. He put on his slacks over bare skin and pulled on his T-shirt before taking the cup Joe offered.
“You going somewhere?” Despite the gruffness in Joe’s voice, Elias could tell Joe was unhappy.
“Yes. I need to talk to my brother.”
“I get it.” Joe pecked a kiss on Elias’s cheek. “You’re right. Go on home to your family. We’re still on for dinner next week though, right?”
Elias doubted he could stay away that long. Still, he told Joe, “Yes. Of course.”
Chapter Eighteen
Sara and Solomon were in the living room, and Elias heard them whispering to one another as he came up the stairs. Blowing out a breath, he tried to let go of the twang in his nerves. His brother had never hurt him, and if Solomon were going to lose his temper, he would have done it earlier that day. Still, Elias couldn’t help being scared.
“Hi.” Elias waved to the two of them. Though he’d rehearsed all the things he’d planned to say, his feet carried him directly to his room.
“Elias?” Solomon came to the doorway.
“Yes?” Elias tossed his jacket on the chair in the corner. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his brother.
“Everything okay?”
“Yes.” Elias wished he could say more, to ask his brother to still be there for him.
<
br /> “Joe’s nice.”
Elias wasn’t sure how to accept the compliment gracefully. “Thank you.” He cleared his throat, trying to figure out what he wanted from Solomon. Of course Elias would have liked to hear that his brother still loved him no matter what. But Elias couldn’t imagine Solomon mustering that level of emotion.
“I like Joe very much.” Elias kept his hands busy folding some laundry.
“Yes. I know.” Solomon’s arms were crossed, but his forehead was creased in concern. “Elias, do you still want to live here?”
“Do you still want me to live here?” Elias felt like the breath had been stolen from him.
“If you like.” Solomon was less sure than Elias had ever seen his strong older brother. “But Sara is getting treatment. You don’t need to stay for her.”
Elias tried to read between the lines. “So…you want me to go?”
Solomon pulled Elias’s hands away from the laundry and forced Elias to look him in the eye. “No. We don’t want you to leave. Not if you don’t want to.” Solomon dragged Elias into a hug so fast Elias might have stumbled off his feet. “I have no family left in this country but you.”
Elias was glad his brother was whispering, because Sara might have overheard. Solomon had said it in English—but still. Officially, Sara was family now too.
Solomon and Elias had grown up together, though, straddling the old world and the new. Few people would really understand what that was like, and no one would remember the time their mother had put ketchup-laden hamburgers on injera bread, or the time their father had painted the outside of their house with interior paint because he’d been too proud to admit he couldn’t read the sign in Home Depot.
“I know.” Elias patted his brother’s back, smelling the comfort of home. “I want to stay.” He might spend nights at Joe’s house, but Elias still needed to come home sometimes. To the smells and sounds and familiarity. For now, that meant leaving his clothes here.
“Good.” Solomon broke their embrace to pat Elias’s arm. If his gestures were more manful than they’d been before, Elias could forgive him. It wasn’t normal for Solomon to express his feelings.
