by Taylor Hart
I nodded. “Christmas Eve is the money maker in jewelry sales.”
The Pastor gave a sad sigh. “Hearing that some people don’t understand the real meaning of Christmas never surprises me, but I always find it disappointing.”
I hadn’t thought about the way Pastor John would see the desperate, willing buyers on Christmas Eve.
His eyes got misty. “You think about one event that changed mankind.
The Savior’s birth. The very way that the world judged time has been calculated according to Him. B.C.—Before Christ.” He shook his head. “There is a movement to have people say that B.C. really means Before Common. But, it’s just a cover for the real thing. And A.D. After Death.” He sighed. “One person being born on the earth was significant enough to judge time. Before He was born and after He died. That is a pretty big deal.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t want to admit that I hadn’t even celebrated Christmas and hadn’t been to church since I’d left. To say that I’d never thought about the fact that His birth was so significant that time was counted according to it, made me feel bad. “That’s interesting.”
“It is, isn’t it?” Pastor John smiled at me and then he laughed. “You didn’t think you were going to get a history lesson, did you?”
I shrugged. “It’s okay.”
His eyes narrowed. “How are you, Molly?”
I frowned. “Good.” I answered too quickly.
He cocked his head to the side. “We’ve missed you in Snow Valley.”
“Yeah,” I said noncommittally. I looked back up to his kind face and didn’t know why I admitted the next part to him. “It’s been hard.” My lip trembled.
He paused and instant tears misted his eyes. “You’ve been in my heart, Molly. I’ve been praying for you.”
This amazed me, even though I knew it shouldn’t, he prayed a lot.
He let out a loud breath. “Molly, I have counseled a lot of people with your condition.”
“My condition?”
“Heartbreak.”
My hand went to my heart. “This isn’t about Kevin.” Not most of it.
He dropped his hand from my shoulder and pushed his glasses back. “I know.”
“You know?”
He didn’t speak for a second, his eyes wandered over the crowd. He gestured to someone.
I looked and saw Lacey in Kevin’s arms, both of them making faces at each other, Lacey squealing.
“You take Lacey there. She has a mother dying.”
“I know.” My heart was beating rapidly, but I didn’t want to talk about it.
He turned back to me. “That girl,” he said and let out a short laugh. “That little girl knows heartbreak.” His eyes glistened, again. “And do you know what she asks me every time I see her?”
“What?”
“Who needs help? Who she can visit in the hospital when she’s there to see her mom.”
I blinked.
“Matthew 16:25. For whosever will save his life shall lose it: and whosever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.”
I had no idea why he was quoting scripture to me. I wiped my eyes. “What?”
He gently took my arm. “If you would look outside of your pain, you would see that there are many people that need you. You would see that…they have pain, too.”
I didn’t move. The idea that I wasn’t seeing someone else’s pain…I couldn’t believe it. A tear fell down my cheek. “You just don’t understand.”
“Remember that the Savior was born to this world to redeem us. To forgive us. To make up for all the pain and heartbreak. Remember that. And, even though I might not understand, God does. And He has a plan for your life. Talk to Him.”
I was stupefied. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually prayed. A real prayer. I sniffed. “Is that the favor?”
He grinned. “About that favor, could you help sell concessions at the three-on-three tournament today from four to seven? Addy is in charge of staffing that—you know all proceeds from the tournament go to the hospital, don’t you?”
Before I could nod, he continued. “Well, once again, she needs extra help and I thought of you.”
Immediately, I was relieved. “I can’t.”
He put up a severe hand. “Now, hold on. I know your mother said that you all were taking your father home. If the time doesn’t work out, just have your mother call Addy and let her know you won’t be able to do it. No big deal. We’re extremely short staffed this year with...” He paused. “The flu. Yes, the flu that everyone’s been catching.”
“Flu?” I hadn’t heard about this flu, but I had been groomed from a very young age to take notice when the word ‘flu’ was mentioned.
He exhaled. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”
I looked around the pancake breakfast, it didn’t seem like people were down with the flu, the place was packed.
Pastor John waved at someone across the room and backed away. “Okay, well, I must be running, I’m on the clean-up committee and Addy will have me strung up if I don’t get going.”
“Okay.” I watched him leave and wondered how I’d just ended up agreeing to another ‘favor’ for Pastor John and why God’s plan kept coming up.
Chapter 15
The hospital looked very…Snow Valley Christmasy, I noted as we walked past the star filled tree on the way into the hospital. It didn’t seem like the bad thing that it had when I’d first come into town. Susan Hinks manned the front desk. She waved and winked at me as my mother and I walked past.
“I just love that woman.” My mother commented as we strolled down the hall.
“She likes you, too.”
When we got into the room, my father not only looked good, he’d already dressed and was sitting on the edge of his bed, with no tubes attached.
My mother fluttered. “Matthew, why are you already dressed?”
His hair was combed, too. “Because I’m ready to go home to my two girls.” Both of his arms lifted and I couldn’t help getting sucked into a family hug.
The nurse bustled into the room. She grinned. “He’s been waiting for you two today. He’s bent on getting home and getting his presents wrapped.”
My mother shook her head. “Oh, no, when you get home you’re getting in bed, you better get your mind wrapped around the fact you will be down for a good while.”
My father didn’t argue, but he looked at me and rolled his eyes. “That’s fine. I’ll get in bed as long as my Molly promises to sit and sing Irish songs with me.”
Sudden emotion tugged at my heart. I thought of my father’s recent pain. I nodded. “Okay.”
The longest wait involved in getting my father home, was waiting for the doctor to officially release him from the hospital. Dr. Taggert finally showed up around eleven. When he checked my father and saw his energy had returned, he wrote a quick prescription and signed the paperwork. “Keep his load light.”
I drove us back to the ranch. My mother insisted on sitting in the back with him.
“How about we stop and get one of Big C’s burgers for dinner.” My father pointed as we went past.
I slowed the car.
“No.” My mother waved me forward. “He is not having a burger. In fact, we are watching your diet just as the doctor ordered.”
My father sighed, but I picked up speed, silently agreeing with my mother.
“I booked a flight for tomorrow night.”
“What?” My mother’s voice was annoyed.
“I told you, Mom, I have to be back for the big Christmas Eve sale.” I felt bad about it, but I’d scheduled it the second I’d officially cancelled the other one.
My father grunted. “It’s okay, my Katie. My Molly has come home to us. Now she’ll come more, won’t you?”
I pushed away thoughts of that letter. “Sure.”
My mother made a noise to show she disapproved of the fact I was leaving. “I just wish you wanted to stay.”
The numb part of me t
hat had existed when I’d first gotten to Snow Valley, had somehow escaped—run away—and left me with something I didn’t think I was capable of anymore—the power to want to be in Snow Valley.
***
After Dad got settled into bed with a hot cup of lemon tea, he called me into the room and pointed to the red rocking chair he’d rocked me in as a baby.
For some reason, seeing the chair and what it symbolized bugged me.
“You promised to sing with me, my Molly.”
Because I didn’t want to be difficult, I sat.
He plunked the Irish poetry book into my hands. “Let’s start with a song and then have you get to the poetry.” He cleared his throat and began. “An Irish lass will break your heart, if you give her the dance she wants.” He wound his hand through the air, pushing me to sing.
All the years and all the memories of singing with him flooded me. Of the way I felt when I sung with him—cherished, loved, wanted. Which I knew wasn’t true. I knew was a lie.
“And all she wants is to give her man, is a lovely simple kiss,” he continued.
I joined in. “And she walks all day to gather the eggs, to feed the pigs, to hear the river bend.” Our voices quieted. “But the thing she does by moonlight, is why this song is wrote…tra la la…tra la de da. Love’s first true kiss, wrapped in the warmth of her lover’s arms, she knows her life is bliss.”
We stopped. He grinned. Tears burned down my cheeks.
His brows furrowed. “My Molly, why are you crying?”
“Why?” I burned with anger. “Why did you want mom to have an abortion?”
A gasp came from behind me and I turned back to see my mother standing there, her hand covering her mouth.
I stood, looking between them. “I saw that letter. I saw the letter where you told mom to get an abortion.” Tears washed down my face. Unstoppable. I leveled a glare at him and then looked back at her. “It said that you had dreams for your life and he didn’t want you to waste them. It said…that your love was never meant to be. Why wasn’t it meant to be? And why did you decide to keep me when I was such a burden?”
At my words, my mother flew out of the room, gulping down a sob. I sat there wondering what I’d done by bringing this up now.
The wrinkles around my father’s eyes deepened. He laid back into the pillow, all the happiness gone. He closed his eyes. “Go help out at the concessions, I need to speak to your mother alone.”
Chapter 16
A hot mess, that’s what I was. I’d changed and fixed my hair and makeup before coming to the high school gym. Being back in Snow Valley had brought up enough ‘issues.’ I didn’t need anyone seeing through my makeup veneer. I put the retail smile on and greeted Addy.
Addy might be seventy-eight, but she could bark out orders better than any young general. “Oh, Molly, you came!” She rushed over and gave me a vanilla scented hug. Her fake blonde hair was a helmet of ratting and hairspray around her head. Her lips painted with red lipstick. Her fake nails scratched my hand as she covered it with her own. “When Pastor John said he really thought you would like to fill in during Kevin’s shift, well, I was thrilled.”
A surge of anger stirred through me. Pastor John. The flu. Grrr.
She flashed another smile. “If you’ll take over for the cotton candy maker. Be warned, it’s been the most popular item and you have to stay on it.”
I smiled. “Sounds good.”
The overloaded gym roared.
“Hey, Molly.” I paused and turned back.
Addy lifted her hands and gave quick shakes of her head. “Where are my manners? Welcome home.”
My lips didn’t move at her words. I thought of my mother and father, at this moment, talking about what they would say to me. My chest tightened. “Thanks.”
I moved rapidly into the concession booth just outside of the gym.
“Well, second place decides to show up.” Kevin stood next to the cash register, a grin on his face, his hair in his eyes. His fresh rain cologne filled me and I unwillingly grinned back at him. My real smile.
He looked at the teenage girl working the cotton candy machine. “Who knew, Marsha, that second place could clean up this good?” He turned his appraising eyes back to me.
Marsha giggled and stood, handing me a cotton candy paper wand. “You’re crazy.” She walked past him, giggling more.
I plunked down in front of the machine and tried to remember how it was done.
Kevin got distracted with a couple of customers.
I figured out the machine. It was loud and sticky and hot. I handed a cotton candy to him.
He put it into the holder and turned back to me. “Don’t I get a kiss for first place?”
My heart pounded inside my chest. He smelled so good. I couldn’t help but think about how his facial hair was at that perfect level, not too long, not too short. It was just plain hot. I sat back down in front of the cotton candy maker.
The floor scraped as he pulled a chair next to me and sat. Close. Too close.
I tried to push my chair back.
He put his hands on my shoulders and focused on my eyes. “What’s wrong?”
The very ugly truth was that Kevin would know. Of course, he would. There had been so many, many times that he’d listened to me talk about my problems and I’d cried on his shoulder.
“Nothing.” I re-focused my retail smile and went back to the cotton candy machine. I looked up at him as if it was any other conversation. “Who’s winning the tournament?”
“Is your dad okay?”
I took another wand and started the machine; wisps of pink cotton flew into the air. “He’s fine. He’s home.”
“Then, what is it?”
“Excuse me.” Some teenage boy stood at the window. “Could I have a root beer please?”
Kevin hesitated, then got up and waited on the kid.
I stood and put the next cotton candy into the holder and reached for another wand.
This time he turned me, both of his hands firmly on my shoulders. “I know there’s something wrong, you know there’s something wrong…just tell me.”
My hand shook and the wand slipped. The retail smile began to crack. I blinked. “It’s nothing, let me get back to the cotton candy.”
His grip wouldn’t allow arguing. “Molly.”
Something about the force of his voice made me take notice. Even though Kevin was cocky and irritating, he knew me. All the past. He knew the filtered version of the present. The force of it made me crack. I covered my face and tried to hold back the tears that were already bubbling out. “He wanted an abortion. My father wanted my mother to abort me.”
His hands gripped me tighter, and then he pulled me into his chest. “What?”
I didn’t try to uncover my face. I tugged the folded edges of the letter from my purse. “It’s true.”
Kevin took the letter. “I don’t believe that. Not for one second.”
For a few seconds, he only looked at the paper.
“Read it.” I urged.
He took it and undid the scrunched squares.
“Umm, could I have a Snickers?” A teenage boy stood in front of the concession booth.
In one motion, Kevin reached over and tugged on the metal pin that held the concession cover in place. “We’re closed.” The metal slammed down.
He turned back, the letter already opened, his eyes scanned the words.
I went over the memorized words in my mind, ‘an abortion seems to be the only option, I won’t let this take your dreams, our love was doomed from the start.’
Kevin finished it, then his eyes met mine. The aqua in them magnified as tears filled them. He blinked and pulled me back to him. “Oh, Molly.” His hand stroked my hair.
I let myself lean against him, the relief of another so close to me sharing this burden instantly made it feel lighter. I cried harder. “I confronted them about it before I came here.”
He ran his fingers through my hair, g
ently tugging out any knots in his way. “Shh. It’s okay, Molly. We’ll work this out.”
The emotional mess that would translate to the rest of my face, kept me against him. It would be awful, especially since I put on even more makeup. “Kevin, I can’t work like this. I can’t be seen like this.”
“You’re right.” He tugged out his phone and punched some buttons. He finished and then grinned, his phone buzzing back. “Brad, the cousin you hate, is saving your bacon. I told him I had to leave and he’s in the stands—he said he’d get it covered and take care of everything.”
I grimaced. “The whistle blower.”
Kevin laughed and pulled me out of the booth, keeping my hand in his. “Stay to the side of me, I’ll block for you.”
***
He drove past the fairgrounds, not talking as tears streamed down my cheeks.
I hated myself for doing this. The breakdown. I thought I was fine with everything. I could have accepted it if I’d just not sung that stupid song.
“There has to be some kind of mistake, your mother and father are the happiest couple I’ve ever met. I’ve always thought they communicate better than my parents.”
I inhaled deeply and looked at the sun right as it was going down behind Snow Mountain. Pink, purples, and oranges rippled in waves across the sky. “Where are we going?”
“To the cabin.”
I nodded, unsurprised by this. The cabin was his family’s. His parents’, not the entire Snow family. It was about fifteen minutes out of town, but really felt like a lifetime away.
“Is that okay?” Kevin asked.
My phone buzzed. I ignored what I knew would be another text from Stan. The computer had been freezing on them all day and, according to Sally, Bob Hollingsworth had rambled too much on the radio spot and insulted women. It buzzed, again.
“Are you going to get that?” His previous hostility regarding the buzzing of my phone wasn’t there.
I tugged my phone out of my pocket and put it on silent. “Nope.”
When we pulled up to the cabin, Kevin ran around and helped me out of the truck. He’d always been a gentleman.
He opened the cabin, turning up the thermostat. Then he abruptly stopped. “What do you want to do?”
