“You’ll make sure she gets this message?” he asked pointedly.
“Yes, sir. I will personally hand deliver it if you’d like.” The clerk at the hotel desk was cheery and helpful.
Alex hung up with more questions in his mind. Where was Kelsey so early in the morning? It was only six AM Pacific Time. Why wasn’t she still asleep? But mostly—why didn’t he stay? What was so important he had to rush back to work? Since he had gotten home, all he wanted to do was turn around and go back. The rest of the day became a waiting game. Even the successful return of Zack from Iran wasn’t enough to squelch the niggling fear creeping into Alex’s every thought.
“Good job.” He tossed the Iran Op report to his desk after hearing what Zack had to say. No need to belabor the details with such a thorough agent. They discussed politics, future operations, and general opinions. Alex was pleased.
“Thanks Boss.” Zack was fresh and ready to work, not the dragged out, jet-lagged agent he should’ve been after a twenty hour flight from the Mideast. A top-notch scout sniper, he had held the record for distance and accuracy in his Marine Expeditionary Unit before Alex lured him away from the Corps.
“This job agrees with you, doesn’t it?” Alex studied his junior agent’s enthusiasm.
“Hell yeah.” Zack pushed back, his hands crossed behind his head in a comfortable position. “I’m glad every single day you convinced me to leave the Marines.”
“Don’t tell them. So what’s next?”
“I figured I’d hit the weight room when we’re done here, unless you’ve got another job for me.” Zack looked expectantly to his boss.
“Now that you mention it, I’ve got three more contracts I need to assign. The first one’s with the Bureau of Land Management out west. The other two are the usual ones with the Army—one in Pakistan and the other in northeast Afghanistan. I’d like you to take the Afghanistan op if you’re up to it. You’ll work with their special operations people.”
“Army Rangers? Great. I can travel tomorrow.” Zack’s hands were on his knees. As always, he was ready to go.
“You’re a kiss ass, Lennox.”
“Call it what you want. I’m traveling, I make good money, and I like what I’m doing. Best of all, I don’t always have to shoot anybody in this job.”
Alex would enjoy working an op with this kid if he could ever get away from all the deskwork. Zack was sharp, diligent, and more than just a little bit cocky, all good traits by his standards. “Take a break. Roy’s due in from Mexico tomorrow. The BLM contract isn’t time sensitive, but the others are. How about you and I work Afghanistan in a couple weeks and let Roy handle Pakistan?”
“Sounds good to me.”
“It will be a long operation, maybe a couple months.” Alex warned.
“No problem.” Zack reached across the table to shake hands. “Just keep me busy. That’s all I’m asking.”
“I can do that,” Alex replied. “Would you send Mother in on your way out?”
“Sure thing.”
Zack was gone less than a minute before Mother poked her head in the door. “Whatcha need, Boss?”
“Have a seat.” Alex motioned to the chair beside his desk. “I’ve got a couple questions.”
Mother sat within arm’s reach of her boss, eager and ready to help as always. A genius at anything computer related, she was also secretary, administrative assistant, project coordinator, and a wealth of other duties as assigned – or unassigned. Basically an all-around-girl-Friday type, she took it upon herself to do what needed to be done. Alex relied on her despite the fact she could be just as helpful in everyone’s personal lives as well. That nosey attribute, along with her head of silvery hair, earned her the nickname of Mother. The dubious moniker stuck. The problem was she liked it.
“How’s Ember working out?” Alex got right to the point.
“Good. We’re getting along fine. She’s a lot like me. She’s smart as a whip and—why? What’s up, Boss?”
Mother’s quizzical expression evoked caution lights in the back of Alex’s mind. In her brilliant, probing way she was always on the lookout for personal information.
“She doesn’t seem like an admin type.”
“She’s a hottie, huh?” Mother beamed.
While her description was right on, Alex wasn’t going to admit anything. He had hired his latest techie based solely on Mother’s recommendation, sight unseen. When a statuesque, blonde bombshell showed up for her first day of work instead of the techno nerd he had expected, he had his doubts. Ember looked like she belonged in a chorus line in Vegas instead of behind the keyboard in a consultant office. At least, that’s how she looked the first day. The real problem surfaced the next day when her hair was blue, but in her quirky way, she was every bit as good as Mother at her job. Maybe better.
“I want to make sure she’s a good fit for this office. Are you keeping her busy? Is she keeping up?”
“Yes. Today she’s writing a security program to keep hackers out of our system. We’ve still got a couple problems in that area. Later we’re going to tackle an archival program, so you can have any report you’ll ever need right at your fingertips. Then, there’s the encrypted protocol—”
Alex waved her answer off. “Fine.”
“Don’t you want to know about the new video surveil—”
“No.” He tried to interrupt her litany of self-aggrandizing accomplishments and to-do-lists. Most of the time, he didn’t know what she was talking about anyway.
“Or the new idea I had for the satellite reconnaissance—”
Alex glared. Sometimes there was no way to shut Mother up—or off. He was sorry he had asked.
“Okay.” She huffed, her lip in a childish pout. “Whatever.”
“I need the phone number for Louise and Phil Timpson in Pendleton, Oregon.”
She smiled her annoying I-know-something-you-don’t-know smile that peeved Alex to death.
“What?” He was irritated now.
“Oh, nothing. I’ll be right back with that number, or did you want me to place the call for you?” She paused at the door, her eyebrows arched at her seemingly helpful suggestion.
“Just get me the number.” If she weren’t such a genius, he would fire her just for being so smug all the time.
As soon as the door closed, he dialed Kelsey again. Still no answer. With the phone ringing in his ear, he remembered their good-bye. She had cried. He had to push her gently away before he uttered the words he shouldn’t. In the end, all he had whispered was, “Good-bye. See you around.”
Her sad eyes were forever burned into his memory.
Why didn’t I stay?
Eleven
Kelsey
Another day. Another park bench. The same old heartache.
Kelsey smoothed her hair off her face as she walked back to where her boys lay. It felt like a dream, but she knew it wasn’t. She could almost hear them giggling from their casket, just like they used to when they would hide under their covers at bedtime. Silly boys didn’t realize then that blankets and sheets might have looked solid, but their happy little noggins still rose like two round dinosaur eggs beneath the cotton and fleece. Tommy’s delighted anticipation at being discovered by his mom had always been too much for him to contain. He had chuckled gleefully when she had asked, “Where did my little guys go?”
Unable to disguise their exuberance, they had flung back the blanket with rowdy squeals.
“Surprise.” Jackie had shouted amidst Tommy’s exuberant chortle, and she had gathered them like teddy bears, and tickled them until they collapsed in a mound of motherly, childish love.
Yes. She could almost hear them laughing sometimes. Maybe today they would throw back that in-between layer of sod and green, and invite their mom to join them under the covers one last time.
Today was lawn-mowing day. A crew of cemetery maintenance workers strolled the grassy rows between reverently placed granite and stone, removing old flowers and forgo
tten Memorial Day vases. They clipped and pruned, too busy to notice the wraith-like woman who walked by. She knelt in the grass where Tommy and Jackie’s heads rested only feet below. Once again, their smiling faces beckoned, and sadly, she knew those joyful expressions were only imagination.
She was losing her mind.
Alex
Senior Agent Roy Hudson was not to be taken lightly. A Vietnam vet like Murphy, he had called Alex to advise the Mexican operation with the Drug Enforcement Agency was completed earlier than expected. He was on his way home.
“That makes two final reports today,” Alex replied. “You and Lennox keep this up, and maybe I don’t need to hire any more agents.”
“What? That Lennox kid beat me again?” Roy’s booming voice was full of mock anger at the junior agent. “I suppose he’s already halfway around the world on another assignment, isn’t he? You give him another operation already, Boss?”
Alex chuckled. “It’s good to hear from you, Roy. When will you be back?”
“Flight arrives six PM tonight.”
“Well, good. I’ve scanned your report. Looking forward to the debrief. How about tomorrow at eleven?”
“Sure. Hey, you thirsty? How about a fifth of tequila?”
“Your place or mine?” Alex chuckled. Leave it to Roy to think of everything.
Just then, Mother popped her head into Alex’s office with a knowing smirk. “Hey, Boss. There’s a woman on line two. Says she’s Kelsey’s sister. You want me to take a message for you? She sounds real worried.”
Alex shook his head as he finished his conversation. “Listen, Roy. I have another call. See you in the morning. Fly safe.”
As soon as Mother closed his door, he took the call.
“Stewart.”
“Is this Mr. Alexander Stewart?”
Alex recognized the west coast accent. “Yes, Louise. How are you doing?”
“Thank goodness.” Louise sighed effusively through the phone. “I’m fine, but I lost your business card. You’re not an easy man to track down, you know. Land sakes. Thought I’d never catch up with you.”
“Is Kelsey with you?”
“No, she isn’t. Do you remember how I said I was bringing her home with me? Well, I have a room all cleaned up and ready for her just like I told you, but that little sister of mine can be one stubborn woman. I couldn’t get her to leave. No sir, she dug her heels in at the last minute, said she wasn’t leaving her boys, and what was I to do?”
Alex listened as Louise rambled. “Where is she?”
“That’s why I’m calling. I’ve been trying to reach her at the hotel since I left day before yesterday. Only I’m not getting any answer. I called a couple of her neighbors, you know, those nice folks who were at the funeral that day? Only they haven’t seen her, so I know she hasn’t gone back to her apartment. I’m getting worried, especially if you haven’t been able to get hold of her either. Have you?”
“No. I haven’t,” Alex said thoughtfully. “Let me make a few calls. I’ll get right back to you.”
“I’d sure appreciate it. Thank you.”
“I’ll be in touch.”
Alex hung up on Kelsey’s talkative sister. He made two calls, the first one to the police department. They had been more than helpful during the days before the Durrant boys’ funeral. Within minutes, he had verified Kelsey’s location. She was exactly where he had suspected she would be. The other call was to his travel agent. He called Louise back to tell her his plan. If all went well, he would be back in the office tomorrow morning in time for the debriefing with Roy.
Murphy was just coming back from lunch as Alex rounded the corner to leave.
“I’m leaving early. See you tomorrow.”
Strolling past granite markers, stone angels, and an occasional floral wreath, Alex had to admit this cemetery was a restful place. The shade from the oak trees planted years ago covered most of the landscape in peaceful repose. Park benches had been strategically placed. The grass was lush and freshly trimmed. Yes, it was almost a place where one could sit, linger, and think for a minute. But it wasn’t his baby buried here, and the only time he had ever lingered in a place like this was with a gun in his hand. He kept moving.
As he had listened to Louise, his feeling of urgency had grown. After he landed at the SEA-TAC airport, he grabbed a rental car and made the drive to the cemetery in under an hour. It was two weeks since the funeral. Louise had said she and Phil went home two days ago. What happened to Kelsey since then? He had asked the police to check the cemetery, hoping she didn’t have the same idea he’d had four years ago. They found her easily. Two officers still watched the grieving mother from their patrol car. Thankfully, she didn’t have a weapon.
Draped in the privacy curtain of her hair, Kelsey stroked the grass over the grave. With her shoulders slumped, she looked like she was talking. Alex dashed a tear off his eye. He knew how fast grief could turn into depression, and just a hop, skip, and a jump to mental illness. Yes, he knew all about the steps of recovery. A person was supposed to transition through denial, fear, anger, and a bunch of other emotions until eventually, they would end up back at normal. Only it didn’t work that way.
Grief was a tough master. Too often, people didn’t know how to ask for help, and others didn’t know how to give it. He had never asked. Even today, he would deny he ever needed it, and as far as transitioning through all those psychobabble steps of bullshit, the only one he had ever made it to was anger. There he stayed, raging against God and man until the only way out was at the end of his gun. He didn’t know how he had survived—or if he had.
An involuntary shudder shook him at the memory of that cold steel in his mouth. The sensation came back like it was yesterday. He had planned it so well. He knew the physics. One shot, one last breath, and peace at last. He had even closed his eyes, ready to be done with it when, out of the blue, a little girl across the street somewhere squealed, “Daddy!” His heart had lied and said it was her. Abby. Whatever. The dark moment passed. He never thought of suicide again.
Alex crouched beside Kelsey in the fading afternoon light. “Kelsey?”
She didn’t seem to hear him. Now that he was closer, it was easy to see her hair was uncombed, her clothes looked slept in, and the only color on her face was the dark circles under her eyes. She had the same look as when he had first found her. Kelsey was lost again. He circled her slender waist with his arm. She would never make it alone. Alex pulled her gently off the grass.
Kelsey was a wooden statue, come to life at his hand. Her stiffness gone, she slumped against him, her voice far away and flat. “Alex.”
“I know, baby. I know.” He scooped her into his arms, and carried her like a child to the closest park bench. For a long time, he just held her on his lap and rocked back and forth. The police drove away.
Alex whispered into her hair. “I know how you feel. I didn’t want to live then either.”
She whimpered, her head against his shoulder, her hands a dead weight in her lap.
“It’s not the load that breaks us down, sweetheart. It’s how we learn to carry it.” Alex knew she didn’t understand right now, but eventually, she would. “You’re coming with me.”
He set her on her feet and led her from the cemetery. She didn’t resist. After placing her safely in the front seat of his rental, he drove to her apartment.
When Kelsey unlocked her front door, he saw why she hadn’t been there. Sparsely furnished and dirty with empty beer cans and fast food wrappers scattered around, it was a depressing dump. Obviously, Durrant had spent his last days there when he wasn’t out hunting his wife. And just as obvious, the man was a pig.
A small cardboard box of toys stood in the corner by a broken down couch, and a baby blanket lay on the floor where it ha been stepped on. Kelsey went to that blanket and held it to her nose, breathing in the smell of her dead baby boy. A strangled sob choked out of her. Alex turned away. The smell of Abby’s breath came to his nose
, even in this dreary place. This was too painful to watch. Kelsey was running on empty at so many levels, and maybe he was, too.
“Where’ve you been staying?” His voice cracked.
But once again she stood in a daze, her answer distant and vague. “Around.”
Alex guessed the cemetery or maybe a park bench. Wherever she had been, she hadn’t been home, showered, or had anything to eat in days. He recognized the agenda. She wanted to die.
“Let’s get you packed and out of here.”
Obediently, she went to one of the two bedrooms. Alex followed. A bloody handprint on the light switch caught his eye. Her handprint. He cringed. Poor thing. What she must have suffered.
There was no dresser, only a couple cardboard boxes that didn’t hold much. He left her to pack while he loaded the boys’ few things into the back of his rental. Somehow, it was all going to the east coast.
There were no photographs anywhere, only a couple of crayon drawings on the refrigerator door. One might’ve been a picture of a green and red truck. It brightly proclaimed Jackie in red crayon at the top of the page. The other was a bunch of scribbles in a rainbow of colors with an adult’s handwriting that declared it belonged to Tommy. Kelsey had beautiful penmanship. Alex folded the drawings and placed them in his inner suit pocket.
The truly telling story lay in the black puddle of blood on the dirty kitchen floor. She whimpered when she saw it, her knuckles to her teeth. Alex watched her fall apart.
“He wouldn’t let me go. He said it was just him and Tommy and Jackie. He said—he said—” She fell to her knees, trying to wipe the dried mess with her bare hands. “He said he would bring them back in time for their naps. He promised.”
Alex (In the Company of Snipers) Page 12
