Eleven
TIM tossed and turned all night. He kept dreaming of losing Jay so many years earlier. Repeatedly, he relived the scene with Jay in that car, held by an unknown woman, Jay screaming for Tim to come and get him.
Early in the morning, Tim bolted upright in his bed, shouting Jay’s name. His chest heaved up and down as he tried to regain his composure, which wasn’t an easy undertaking. His legs felt like jelly, his nose was clogged up, and his hands trembled slightly when he inspected them. Closing his eyes didn’t help, only caused a severe bout of dizziness. He groaned and rubbed his sweaty face. In disgust, he stared at his now-sweaty hands.
“Fucking great,” he muttered. “I’m a nutcase every time someone mentions the name Jay.”
Some days Tim wanted to curl up in bed, preferably with his head under his comforter, and cry. He missed Jay unbearably.
Though he knew logically he couldn’t miss someone he barely knew, he still did. There hadn’t been one day in the past eighteen years during which he hadn’t thought at least once about Jay. It was usually his first thought in the morning and his last thought at night before he fell asleep.
In a desperate moment, he had once asked Paula why the absence of his mate hurt so much. Especially since they hadn’t initiated the bonding. To his surprise, he had learned that the single bite into Jay’s neck had been the first step of the initiation. They were—very weakly—bonded. However, the bond wasn’t strong and could be destroyed if one of them found another compatible partner.
Tim’s stomach clenched. That particular thought always troubled him the most. He had believed the myth of wolves only being able to bond to one mate and be bound to that person for the rest of their lives. It had been a shock when Paula explained to him that when a mate died, the remaining one would usually soon find a new one. Sometimes, when the bond was weak, one of the pair could bond to another person. It seemed to be more important to belong to someone than to be together with your soul mate.
Tim had been crushed by this revelation. He’d also spent a few nights crying himself to sleep. He kept the desperate-crying part a secret. Even though Paula assured him most wolves found their soul mates and stayed together until death parted them, he had felt hopeless and devastated.
Sure, Tim hadn’t lived a celibate life. There had even been a time when he’d fucked any guy who’d spread his legs for him. Right up until Ralf became aware of his promiscuous behavior. They’d had a… heart-to-heart talk, which still didn’t stop Tim from bedding strangers completely. He simply became more careful.
Nowadays he rarely bedded anyone. In his despair, he even tried a relationship twice. Both times ended in total disasters and cured Tim of any further attempts.
At least getting laid regularly had always helped him to cool down instead of blow up. After losing Jay and finding Paula crippled for life, Tim had lost his temper frequently—one of the main reasons why the elders decided to refuse Tim the role of beta or alpha wolf of their pack. Tim didn’t mind that fact, only the humiliation of officially being deemed unsuitable for either of those roles.
His parents had tried to hide their disappointment, but Tim still felt it acutely. That was the worst part of it. To make up for his shortcomings, he didn’t go to college, though he could have. He’d devoted his life to helping his parents breed horses and ponies.
Tim taught riding lessons for adults on the Shire horses while Robin and Laura instructed the children on the ponies. Since Robin went to college and Laura was busy with Chad, Ralf had taken over most of the children’s lessons. Tim was quite sure Robin would quit college sooner or later, though, because his heart wasn’t in it. If he was honest, Tim hoped for this outcome.
Tim also taught clients how to harness the big horses and taught driving lessons on carriages. His days were filled with attending to the horses, cleaning stables, riding, and teaching. All in all, not a bad deal.
Yet the hole in his heart remained. Sometimes it opened wider, shooting piercing pain through his chest, while most of the time the pain was dull. A persistent companion, reminding Tim of what he’d once had, even if it had only been for a few hours.
He still remembered the feeling of happiness and exuberant joy when he and Jay had played and tussled around. After all this time, he still remembered those bright-blue eyes, glimmering and full of trust.
He missed Jay!
Tim swallowed and blinked away tears. Wearily, he rubbed his hands over his face before raking them through his short blond hair. With effort, he hauled himself up from his bed and stumbled into the bathroom.
After a quick shower, an even quicker jerk-off session, and a cup of coffee, Tim sat in his car, driving over to his parents’ house. The ten-minute drive didn’t ease his restlessness. On the contrary—his nervousness increased.
He dropped his head on the steering wheel after he pulled his car up in front of his parents’ house. Listening to the familiar sounds of horses nickering and hooves clopping, he suddenly felt overwhelmed with desire. One of his hands sneaked between his legs to rub there. To his astonishment, he discovered that his cock was already semihard. Tim groaned.
“Great! Just fucking great! Just what I need. A hard-on when we have potential buyers coming,” he muttered to himself.
Tim gritted his teeth, lifted his head from the steering wheel, and managed to pry his hand off his cloth-covered cock. He climbed out of the car and unobtrusively adjusted his cock in his jeans before zipping up his long jacket, which covered his crotch.
Tim walked toward the pastures, where he was greeted by several horses. They hung their heads over the fence, bumping into each other to be the first one receiving pats and little treats. A bit of the tension drained from Tim while he caressed the animals.
The Shires stayed with him, calmly gazing at him out of those large eyes while the Shetties quickly sidled away, nervousness and wariness evident in their behavior. Tim frowned. He inspected the troughs, but everything was all right. Wondering about the ponies’ behavior, he circled, watching out for whatever was the source of the ponies’ nervousness.
Tim caught his reflection in a small puddle next to him and gasped. No wonder the ponies were wary. Tim’s eyes gleamed, not in their usual light blue, but in an amber color. His canines peeked out, and a small patch of fur was even visible around his throat.
Tim froze, totally unprepared for the sight. He hadn’t lost control of his shifting and not noticed it since… well, since forever. The last time had to have been during his teenage years, after one of the other wolves had teased him about losing his mate.
What if this happened when their visitors were here? Sweat broke out everywhere on Tim’s body, causing him to shiver. Even the big Shires lost their usual placidness and slowly trotted away.
Tim closed his eyes and took deep, calming breaths, willing first the fur to recede, then the canines to shorten to normal length before finally fighting with his eyes. After finishing, Tim felt weak, off-kilter, and he didn’t want to be alone.
He hastily made his way over into his parents’ kitchen, where he found Paula and a tired-looking Robin sitting at the table. Tim grumbled a greeting and headed for the coffeepot.
“What happened to you?” Paula asked.
She rolled toward Tim, who held his mug in trembling hands. Purposefully, he didn’t look at Paula and pretended to watch the horses.
“Tim?”
“What?” Tim snapped.
“Timothy Evans, turn around, look at me, and talk!”
Tim heard the scraping of a chair on the tiles. Robin wisely fled the scene, mumbling, “I’ll take a shower and start on the stables.”
The kitchen door closed with a bang, causing Tim to sigh and hang his head. He couldn’t hinder the whine from creeping into his voice when he said, “Mom! Don’t do that. I’m fine.”
“Do I have to get your father? He’s usually the one who’s able to get you to spill your guts.”
Tim choked on his coffee. Scowling
, he turned around. “Mom, I’m thirty-one. Don’t threaten me by calling Dad. Just for the record—I only tell him what’s going on because he never stops pestering me!”
“Yes, and he is also the alpha wolf. You’d obey him and talk to him even if you don’t do it for me,” Paula said without a trace of accusation in her voice.
Tim dropped his eyes, feeling closer to eleven years old than thirty-one. He hated how easily she could turn the tables on him.
“Timothy, you look like something horrible has happened to you. Please talk to me and look at me, for heaven’s sake!”
Tim smiled upon hearing the frustration in Paula’s voice. She was a very keen advocate of eye contact and never found it easy when someone didn’t play by her rules. Reluctantly, he lifted his eyes.
He responded to the kindness in Paula’s gaze with a shuddering intake of breath. Her eyes widened in concern. She plucked the mug out of his hands, took both of his hands in her own, and tugged.
Tim stooped, then decided to give in to her persistent tugging. He went on his knees in front of her and put his head on her lap. Paula laid one hand on his cheek while she used the other one to stroke his hair.
Tim? Sweetheart, what has you so frightened?
She made it easy for him. She always did. She knew how much he hated to voice his worries aloud. Talking telepathically was easier. Tim didn’t really understand why; it just was.
I… I was shifting without me realizing. It took me so long to shift back, and I still feel itchy, restless. Just… just not right.
Paula frowned. Have you been angry at someone? At Debra, maybe? Because of yesterday?
He thought about it, not wanting to brush it off too quickly. Eventually, he shook his head and glanced up at Paula “No.”
“Hmm.”
She kept on stroking his hair. Tim allowed himself to enjoy it. Nonetheless, he couldn’t keep still and shifted his weight around. He inhaled deeply, for the first time becoming aware of a weak but incredibly interesting scent. Tim closed his eyes and sniffed the air, trying to determine from where he knew this particular scent.
A growl escaped his mouth when the scent grew stronger. The source of the scent came closer.
Tim felt his canines lengthening again and fur spreading on his legs. Awkwardly, he extricated himself from Paula’s grip and straightened up to his full height. His control over his body slipped further. All Tim wanted to do was run, get close to the source of that scent, and claim that person as his.
Suddenly Paula laughed softly. “Oh, Tim.”
“What?” Tim snapped irritably.
“Don’t you know it now? Don’t you feel it?”
“Know what? Mom, don’t talk in riddles!”
“Tim, your mate is close by.”
Twelve
TIM stopped his pacing abruptly to stare at Paula. “What?”
“You’re losing control of your body because your mate is close by.”
Tim’s legs buckled at her words. Only his reflexive clutch at the counter behind him prevented him from landing flat on his ass. Hope and disbelief fought against each other for a short moment.
“Seriously?”
She laughed again. “You’re scenting something, right? A scent that’s arousing and making you crazy. You want to claim the person who’s the source of it, make him belong to you and only you.”
Blood pulsed through Tim’s veins, pooling in his groin. Tim’s cock filled and his canines exploded into full length all of a sudden. Tim smelled blood, probably from piercing his lower lip with his canines.
Hell yes, Tim replied.
“Go on, sweetheart. Shift and hunt your mate down. Make sure to bond him to you forever so you never have to go through what you did before. Fill the empty hole in your heart—you deserve it,” Paula said forcefully, her eyes gleaming with pride and joy. “Oh, and don’t forget to bring him over later.”
Tim swallowed, Paula’s words tearing at his insides. In just a few words, she’d acknowledged so many bottled-up emotions. Tim could hardly breathe, he was so overwhelmed.
“Go on, shift. I’ll close my eyes and will take care of your clothes while you’re busy.” She grinned at him.
Tim laughed out loud and grinned right back. Robin chose that moment to stick his head in the kitchen. “Oh, good. Is it safe to come in again? Why are you grinning like a cat who got the cream?”
Robin strode into the kitchen, only to stop midway when Tim stripped. “Tim! Mom’s in the room!”
“Mom is closing her eyes until he has shifted,” Paula assured Robin. “Come to me, Robin. Tim, shift! Don’t let your mate wait any longer.”
“Mate?” Robin echoed.
Tim felt Robin's eyes on his during the shift. When he was done, Robin asked in a voice tinted with disbelief, You found your mate again?
I think so. If you’ll excuse me, I have to follow my mate’s scent and claim him.
With that, Tim left a laughing Paula as well as a still shell-shocked Robin behind.
Some of the ponies reared when Tim charged from the house. They cantered to the far side of the pastures while the Shires lifted their heads shortly before going back to grazing.
Sniffing the air to determine the right direction, Tim felt more alive than ever. As unbelievable as it sounded after all these years, he knew Paula was right. His mate, his Jay was close by. Maybe it was even the rider who’d wanted to come and have a look at his parents’ horses.
Tim stopped behind the barn, suddenly confused about what to do. If the visiting Jayden Cox was his Jay, then shouldn’t he stay here?
Tim whined while he flicked his gaze from the house to the woods. Hesitantly, he stepped between the trees, hoping his nose would guide him directly to Jay. Knowing he was within Tim’s reach, every second without Jay in his arms turned to sheer agony.
Tim’s chest ached, his heart thumped irregularly, and his loins tingled in anticipation. All of these sensations combined left Tim light-headed and yearning for Jay in a way he hadn’t known was possible. He let out a howl, letting everyone know how much he desired his mate.
TIM’S nose guided him through the woods. He didn’t trot as he usually did. Instead, he ran at high speed, covering the ground fast. Brambles scratched him, tangling in his thick fur as he made his way through the undergrowth. He growled when a patch of particularly thick brush blocked his way, forcing him to turn around and find an easier way.
Eventually, he fell into a trot because his lungs were burning. Panting, he came to a stop when his path crossed a street. He frowned. No one was there, yet the scent intensified.
Tim sidled from one side to the other, and he even laid down flat on his stomach to rub his engorged cock against the rough underground. He’d never have guessed he could walk, let alone run, with a hard-on. Yet, here he was. After having run a good twenty minutes, his cock showed no sign of going down.
A low groan tumbled out of Tim’s mouth as he rubbed himself hard against the ground. The friction felt wonderful, but it wasn’t enough. Not by far.
Tim tried imagining Jay’s face, but the only things he could safely conjure were those bright-blue eyes. Closing his eyes, Tim gave himself up to his fantasy of a hot, wet mouth engulfing his cock, licking and sucking. Tim ground himself harder against the earth, humping and whimpering.
The licking and sucking stopped, only to be replaced by a bare backside presenting itself in front of Tim’s face, wiggling enticingly. Tim lost no time and bit lightly into one of those perfect ass cheeks, eliciting a yelp and a deep, throaty moan.
Tim was about to push his tongue inside the puckered entrance when the rumbling of a motor disturbed his daydream. He opened his eyes, breathing shallowly. He watched a car coming into view. As it passed Tim in his hiding place, pleasure raced through Tim’s veins and short-circuited his brain. White lights exploded, his muscles tensed, and Tim came in long spurts, coating the ground beneath him in his come.
Tim opened his mouth in a silent cry, the f
orce of his orgasm leaving no room for any kind of sound. Tim had at least enough presence of mind to collapse next to the puddle of spunk.
Trying to catch his breath, Tim wondered what the hell had triggered such a violent climax. In the past eighteen years, he had often jerked off to the faceless image of his mate, but never had he experienced such intensity.
Suddenly, Tim snapped out of his haze. The scent was growing weaker.
He hauled himself up on shaky legs, tilted his head sideways, and sniffed. Revelation hit him forcefully. The car. Jay had to be inside that car.
Stupid, Tim scolded himself. So, so stupid!
He took a deep breath, turned back into the woods, and ran back toward home. There was no doubt anymore: the rider who wanted to look at the horses was his Jay. He took a shortcut home.
TIM skidded to a halt behind the barn, panting and cursing his renewed erection. How was it even possible to be ready for a second round, especially when he’d been running again?
The car with their visitors pulled up in front of the house, and the front door opened to reveal Paula rolling toward their guests. Tim watched the passenger door of the car open, revealing an older man. Hungrily, Tim zeroed in on the passenger door.
Tim whimpered when the other door finally opened. A slender young man with dark-brown hair that curled against the nape of his neck climbed out. Tim’s heart beat faster while his tail thumped enthusiastically.
The young man looked around, a small frown on his face. Tim’s heart leaped in his chest. His Jay. Finally.
Tim’s doubts about the identity of his mate evaporated immediately after seeing the young man’s eyes. Never in his life would he forget those eyes. Tim yipped softly before crouching low and crawling closer to the barn, still well hidden behind it.
“Jayden,” the older man called.
Reluctantly, the young man tore his gaze away from his surroundings. He walked around the car and smiled warmly at Paula. Tim could only see Jay’s profile, and what he saw sent shivers through him. The smile lit up Jay’s entire face, making him even more gorgeous.
Secret Chemistry (Shifters) Page 8
