Unplanned

by Sarah Biglow

  “No. He was a sweet enough guy. Really apologetic. But he did give me a good tip for handling the pregnancy.”

  “What sort of tip?”

  “He said his sister had a baby a few months ago, and she found doing yoga helpful while she was pregnant.”

  “Yoga is always good for the body. I’m sure whatever sort of poses they do help widen the hips and strengthen your core. Most likely makes labor easier.”

  “Labor…I’m not sure my head’s in that place yet.”

  Candace stroked her hand. Lisbeth held tight and let the contact calm her.

  “We will get there, honey.”

  Lisbeth nodded and leaned over to give Candace a kiss.

  “So, yoga. You want to come with me?”

  “I think I’d look a little out of place.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “Did you find any places nearby?”

  “Yeah. I looked this afternoon. One does Wednesday afternoon classes up on Boylston. Class starts at noon.”

  “You’re going to have to enjoy the other beautiful women without me. I don’t think I could get out of work in time.”

  “We could always try some of the poses on our own.” Lisbeth winked.

  “Careful. I might just take you up on that offer.”

  They burst out laughing. It was an easy, comfortable laugh. Lisbeth stood up and pulled Candace to her feet.

  “You are a constant amazement,” she whispered.

  “I try,” Candace whispered back.

  They shared a kiss, and the world melted away for that moment until the phone rang. Lisbeth didn’t want to let go. The machine could get it, for all she cared. Candace took a few steps forward, forcing Lisbeth to back up.

  “You should get that,” Candace said.

  “The machine can pick up.”

  “It’s your parents’ number.”

  Lisbeth groaned but reached for the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Lisbeth?”

  “Hi, Mom. What’s going on?”

  “Can’t a mother call her daughter?”

  “Of course. I was just finishing dinner. About to start dishes.”

  “Oh. How is school?”

  “The kids are great. Rowdy, but you know I love it. I’ve gotten to know a few new colleagues.”

  “Anyone nice?”

  Lisbeth bit her lip to keep from groaning. Her mother was relentless about relationships. Even if Lisbeth had explained to her parents years ago about her and Candace. She watched Candace pick up the dinner plates and set them in the sink.

  “Mom, please.”

  “And you and your roommate are still getting along.”

  Lisbeth had to stifle a laugh. “Yes, Mom. Don’t worry so much, okay? Everything is fine.”

  “I just miss you when you aren’t here.”

  “I know. But Elena is around.”

  “Your sister misses you, too.”

  “Tell her I’ll call her this weekend. I have to go. Love you. Bye.”

  Lisbeth ended the call and tossed the phone on the couch then went to help in the kitchen.

  “You should tell her she’s going to be a grandmother,” Candace said.

  “I’m not ready, yet. They still don’t acknowledge that we’re married. You know she wouldn’t understand. They’d stop talking to me.”

  “You don’t know that would happen.”

  “Candace, I know my family. They would freak out, and then they would stop talking to me. And if they didn’t freak out, they’d be devastated if anything happened. I couldn’t put them through that.”

  Candace dried her hands on a dishtowel and placed them on Lisbeth’s shoulders.

  “They’ll find out eventually. You can’t avoid them forever. They live in the same state.”

  “Now isn’t the right time to tell them,” Lisbeth said.

  “Okay. When you’re ready, we’ll tell them.”

  7

  September 4th

  Renee sat at the kitchen table, waiting for Bryce to get up, staring into a half empty cup of tea, now lukewarm and undrinkable. He didn’t work on Friday nights, so the wait wouldn’t be much longer. Even though she’d promised her mother to tell Bryce about the pregnancy, Renee had lied to him, claiming the test results showed she’d had a heat stroke. Bryce believed her. A part of her wondered if he really cared if she was sick or not. She heard noise down the hall, and the shower started. Only he took showers on Saturday mornings. Renee tapped her fingers absently against the mug, thinking about her doctor’s appointment on Monday. She hadn’t even told him about the appointment. Not yet. Ten minutes later Bryce appeared in sweat pants and a T-shirt. He went straight for the fridge and pulled out the orange juice.

  “Use a glass. I don’t want your nasty germs on the carton,” Renee chided as he started to put the opening to his mouth.

  “I’m not germy.”

  “Doesn’t matter. You’re not in college anymore. I have to drink out of it, too.”

  “Okay. Chill.”

  Renee stood and stuck her tea back in the microwave. Even with the summer heat, she was suddenly frozen.

  “You okay?” Bryce asked.

  His expression was mild concern. Renee nodded in response. At least he showed some sort of emotion. The microwave beeped, and she pulled out the mug, now hot to the touch.

  “I didn’t sleep very well last night,” she admitted.

  He nodded and sat down at the table. “I noticed.”

  “Sorry,” she mumbled.

  Bryce rummaged in the bread drawer and popped two pieces of bread in the toaster. Renee inhaled and gripped the mug of tea. Now or never.

  “Look, I’m glad you’re up. I need to talk to you about something.”

  “Sure. What’s up, Nee?”

  Renee took a sip of tea and swallowed, letting the heat slither down her chest and settle in her stomach. Maybe it would give her the strength she needed to admit the truth.

  “Um…the tests the doctor did. I didn’t have heat stroke.”

  “So he got it wrong? Do we have to sue him or something?”

  “No. Bryce, just listen.”

  He downed the rest of his juice and set the glass back on the table. She tried to focus on anything but him when she told him.

  “The tests said that I’m pregnant.”

  Bryce gaped at her like a fish caught on a line. She didn’t blame him. His hand gripped the chair in front of him, turning his knuckles white. She cringed in anticipation that he’d somehow hulk out and smash it to pieces.

  “Bryce, say something,” Renee begged. She reached a hand out to touch him, but he shrank back.

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “I don’t know. That we’ll be okay.”

  “You’re absolutely sure that you’re pregnant?”

  “Yes. They said I’m about seven or eight weeks now. I have a doctor’s appointment Monday morning before work. I thought…maybe you could come with me.”

  “I work Sunday night.”

  “I know. But…it would only be an hour at most. I could drop you off on my way to work. Please, I want you there with me.”

  Bryce moved away from the toaster and paced the length of the kitchen. His hands twisted the hem of his T-shirt, and his cheeks puffed in and out. Frustration and shock radiated from him. But there was something else: hurt. Renee swallowed the lump in her throat.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just…I didn’t know the right time to tell you. And you had to work.”

  “A baby. Fuck, Nee. I don’t know how to handle this.”

  His tone echoed a shift from hurt to anger. Renee scooted toward the table to give him space. She wasn’t sure what he would do.

  “You’re not the only one. I know it’s crazy and overwhelming. But if we stick together, we can deal. We just have to go through it together.”

  He finally stopped pacing, and it made Renee feel a little less anxious. He ran his hands
over his face a couple times before closing the gap between them.

  “I’ll go with you on Monday if it will make you happy.”

  “It would make me very happy.”

  “Okay.” He let go and headed for the couch.

  “Hey, I am sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

  “You were freaked. I get it.”

  She smiled and curled up next to him. While he scanned the sports section of the paper, she channel surfed and glanced at him every now and then but didn’t make eye contact. She guessed he was still a little freaked out by the news. But at least he was trying to be cool. Most of the tension had left Bryce’s body, as far as Renee could tell, by the time they went out to grab Chinese for lunch.

  “You sure you’re supposed to eat this stuff?” he asked as she devoured sweet and sour chicken.

  “Why not? It’s not like I’m shoveling cartons of ice cream down my throat.”

  “So, does your mom know?”

  “Yeah. I told her. I guess she probably told my dad. I don’t know if they told Max.”

  “Right. Makes sense you tell them first.”

  “I panicked, and I needed her. You know she and I are close since…” Renee trailed off. Even years later, talking about Alyssa was hard. But he’d known that when they got together.

  “Renee, don’t stress. I get it. You and your mom got close after what happened. Look, I don’t mean to be such a dick. I just…I’m trying to process. It’s not like we were planning any of this.”

  Renee leaned across the table and planted a kiss on his lips. He returned the gesture, his hands reaching out to tickle her under the table. She failed to contain a shriek of laughter.

  “Don’t do that. You want the other people to think we’re crazy?”

  “Well, maybe we are,” he said.

  “Funny guy all of a sudden. I like it.”

  “You know…it’s how I roll.”

  She laughed at his expression, trying to look cool. Even as she enjoyed being out with him, something in the back of her mind tried to tell her that all was not well. Bryce was too chipper and calm. She wiped stray sweet and sour sauce from his lips and tried to push the thoughts away.

  “Come on. Let’s pay and get out of here. I need some air.”

  Bryce tossed the bills on the table and signaled the nearest waiter that they were done. Renee stepped outside and inhaled deeply. The air cleansed her lungs, and she smiled.

  “You okay? You going to get sick or anything?”

  “No. I’ll be fine. I was just getting a little claustrophobic in there.”

  “Is that a pregnancy thing?”

  “I don’t know. I just needed to get some air is all.”

  They started walking down the street until they came to the Arlington T stop. Renee fished in her purse.

  “What are you looking for?”

  “My T pass. I feel like going to the mall.”

  “Oh no. You’re not going to start buying stuff now. It’s like way too soon.”

  “No. But Max’s birthday is in a couple of weeks, and I need to get him a present.”

  Once Renee found her card at the very bottom of her purse, they headed down the outbound stop and waited for an E line train. The stop was unusually empty for a Saturday.

  “So, what are you going to get him?” Bryce asked.

  “I don’t know. Maybe gift cards he can use places. Like the Game Stop or something. He and his friends love their gaming system.”

  “He does have a pretty sweet set up.”

  “I’m sure he appreciates your approval,” she teased as a train to Heath Street finally arrived.

  They climbed on and managed to find two seats together. Renee slid in first and watched the tunnel whiz by from the window. She zoned out as the conductor announced their arrival at Copley. Half their car disembarked. A few people climbed on before it continued to Prudential.

  “Nee, we’re here,” Bryce said, drawing her from her thoughts.

  She gathered her purse and climbed off the train. They followed the throng of people up the stairs and through the turnstiles. Thankfully, a large chunk of people took the stairs up to the main level. Renee stepped from the escalator and headed straight through the doors in front of her.

  “So where to?” Bryce asked.

  “Upstairs and past the Barnes & Noble a few stores,” she said.

  “Lead on.”

  They stepped onto the escalator, and Renee paused in front of the Barnes & Noble after stepping off. She could feel her body gravitating toward the entrance. She could never resist just wandering in and browsing. This time, she could probably find something useful.

  “Renee, I thought we were going to the game store.”

  “Yeah, uh, if you keep going straight, you’ll see it on the right.”

  “Wait, you’re sending me off to shop for your brother?”

  “You guys like the same games. Get him something you’d like.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Just browse.”

  She walked in, headed down the center aisle, and then followed the left side branch towards the DVDs and children’s sections. She glanced at the section full of DVDs and pulled herself away. She was here for something else. She found the women’s health shelves and started to browse. Just beyond her, a group of kids crowded around a display table with picture books. She glanced over and couldn’t help but smile as she thought of her own child. She moved down the shelf, still not seeing what she was looking for.

  “Can I help you find something?” a woman in a Barnes & Noble shirt asked.

  “Um…maybe.”

  “What are you looking for?”

  Renee felt her cheeks flush as she looked at the woman. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” she said softly.

  The employee gave her a broad grin. “Let’s check the system to see if we have it in stock.”

  Renee followed the woman around the corner and waited while she typed the title into the database. She clicked through a few screens and said, “We have it. Follow me.”

  Back to the bookshelf. The woman reached above Renee’s head and pulled out a copy of the book. Renee took the book and flipped through it.

  “Can I help you find anything else, today?”

  “No, I think that’s it. Thanks so much,” Renee answered and wandered to the other side of the store in search of the checkout line. Just as she reached the counter, she saw Bryce standing outside. She flagged him down, and he walked in.

  “Do you have a Barnes & Noble membership card?” the cashier asked.

  “No.”

  “Your total comes to fifteen dollars and eighty cents.”

  Renee handed over a twenty and waited for her change. She twisted the handle of the bag between her fingers while the cashier ripped off the receipt.

  “Have a good day.”

  She took the receipt and shoved it in the bag.

  “What did you get?” she asked Bryce as they stepped out of the store.

  “Two gift cards and a new game for his Wii.”

  “Buy anything for yourself?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Bryce?”

  “Okay, no. I was good.”

  “Good.”

  “What’d you get?”

  “A pregnancy book.”

  “Oh. Okay. So do you want to look around more or go home?”

  Renee thought about it for a moment, even though she knew the logical thing was to go home and not spend any more money. And she did want to start reading the book.

  “Let’s go home. We have to start saving money.”

  “You sure? I saw this really sexy dress in one of the stores. You’d look great in it.”

  “I’d fit in it for like a month.”

  “You’d look really hot for that month.”

  “You saying I’m not going to look hot with a big belly?”

  “I don’t know…does that mean there’s more of you to love?”


  “Nice save.”

  They walked downstairs to the T and picked up the B line to Government Center, getting off at Boylston. They walked the short distance to their building and headed upstairs. Renee inspected Bryce’s present choices and gave him her nod of approval before flopping down on the couch and opening her book.

  “You sure you don’t want to do something else?” Bryce asked as he picked up her legs and sat down.

  “Nope.”

  “You’re absolutely—”

  “I’m reading.”

  “Fine. Don’t talk to me, then.”

  “Go play a game or something,” she said, trying to not sound irritated.

  Monday morning came quickly. Thanks to her nerves, Renee was up twenty minutes before her alarm. She’d been reading the pregnancy book since Saturday and now had a million worries running through her head. Stretch marks and contractions. Breastfeeding and ultrasounds. Renee sat at the kitchen table, nibbling on a piece of toast while she waited for Bryce to get up. Checking the time every two minutes was driving her crazy, and she had to move around as a distraction. Renee was about ready to burst by the time Bryce stumbled out of the bathroom after eight o’clock.

  “Come on. We have to get going,” she said.

  “Can I have coffee first?”

  “We can stop at a Dunkin Donuts on the way.”

  “You’re way too chipper for this early in the morning.”

  “I’ve been up since six thirty.”

  “Damn.”

  Renee pulled on her jacket and tossed Bryce the car keys. They walked downstairs and around back to the reserved parking. Bryce unlocked the car and waved to the guard on duty. Renee could barely keep still on the drive to the doctor’s office. Her mood was not going to rub off on Bryce anytime soon. She jumped out of the car before Bryce could cut the engine.

  “Nee, slow down.”

  “I’ll see you inside,” she called.

  She made it inside and checked in with the receptionist. The waiting area was empty. She hung her coat on the wall and sat down. Two minutes later, she was up again.

  “Where’s the bathroom?” she asked.

  The receptionist handed over a key and pointed down the hall.

  “Thanks. Oh, and if a guy comes in looking kind of grumpy and confused, just tell him I’ll be right back.”