by Sarah Biglow
“What’s giving you trouble?”
“I don’t get these problems.”
He pointed to three long divisions problems that hadn’t been touched.
“Did you try them?”
He nodded slowly but didn’t make eye contact.
“Christian.”
“No.”
“Well, try them first, and then if you still don’t understand, let me know.”
Shannon returned to the computer and fiddled with layout designs she’d been coding the previous day. She listened as Tanner made car noises in the living room.
“Can you check them?” Christian asked.
“Let me see.”
He handed over the paper, and she glanced at the numbers. She held her hand out for his pencil, and he passed it to her. She circled the second problem.
“Look at this one again.”
Christian whined but took the paper back and madly erased the work he’d done. She watched him work, noting the hunch of his shoulders and how tightly he gripped the pencil.
“Is it right now?” he asked and thrust the paper back toward her.
She looked at the paper and shook her head. Shannon rolled the chair back to the table and erased the answer and the work. Color tinged his cheeks, and his eyes shone with tears. Chris hunched his shoulders and looked away from the problem.
“Get me a piece of scrap paper,” she said and pointed to the printer.
He pulled a sheet out of the tray and handed it over. She copied the problem and read aloud, “Okay. One hundred-sixty-five divided by six.”
Christian tapped the pencil against his hand and stared at the problem.
“How many times can six go into sixteen?”
“One.”
“No. I think it can go in more.”
“Two?”
“Is six times two the closest to sixteen?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
He wrote a two above the six in sixteen and then wrote twelve beneath it. He looked at it for minute and then carefully wrote a four beneath the equal line.
“Good. So now what do you do?” Shannon asked.
“Bring the five down to the four.”
He did so and looked at the number forty-five. Shannon brushed a few eraser crumbs from where he’d erased before.
“How many times can six go into forty-five?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes you do.”
“Eight?”
“What’s six times eight?”
“Um…forty-eight.”
“Can you subtract forty-eight from forty-five?”
“No.”
“So what’s the next smallest number?”
“Seven.”
“Okay. Try that.”
He wrote seven next to the two in his answer and then forty-two below the forty-five. He wrote three below the equal line.
“You can’t do six into three,” he said.
“So what do you have to do with the three?”
He wrote a small r3 after twenty-seven. She nodded.
“See, you could do it.”
He copied the answer and work to his homework page and shut his book. She waited for him to stand up, but he didn’t move.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
“Meghan told the truth. A girl kissed me at recess.”
Shannon tried to hide a smile. “She did? What girl?”
“Jenny Hammond.”
“Is that the girl that you wanted to invite to your birthday but she couldn’t come?”
“Yes.”
“She sounds like a nice girl.”
“She’s not. She’s mean and picks on me.”
“Then why’d you want to invite her?”
“I thought she liked me.”
“Oh, Chris. Well, she kissed you. Maybe that’s her way of showing you that she likes you.”
“I heard her laughing with her friends before science. They said it was a dare. She doesn’t like me.”
Shannon wrapped him in her arms and planted a kiss on the top of his head. “I’m sorry, sweetie. Things have been pretty rough the last few weeks, huh?”
“Why would she do that?”
“Because sometimes, girls can be mean. And sometimes, when someone picks on you, it’s their way of trying to tell you that they like you.”
“Well, I don’t like her anymore.”
“That’s okay. You don’t have to like her.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“It’s what I’m here for. Do you have any other homework to do?”
“Reading.”
“Get to it.”
Christian took his book and pushed the chair in. He wandered through the living room and back upstairs. Shannon sat at the table and laid her head in her arms. I am so not ready to raise a pre-adolescent and a newborn at the same time.
10
September 12th
Lisbeth curled up beneath the blankets and sighed. She had nowhere to be today, and sleeping in past nine a.m. sounded like a really good idea. In fact, she could stay in bed all day. Maybe she would. Too bad the tantalizing smell of breakfast roused her senses. She rolled over and saw Candace carrying a tray.
“You made me breakfast.”
“I’m not allowed?” Candace asked.
Lisbeth gave her a sleepy smile. “Thank you.”
She sat up against her pillow and let Candace set the tray down. She surveyed the plate, and her stomach rumbled loudly. They laughed, and Candace perched on the edge of the bed.
“Eat up, missy.”
Lisbeth picked up the fork and scooped up scrambled eggs. She could taste the little bit of ketchup and hot sauce mixed in. Just the way she liked them. Lisbeth smiled as she ate.
“Perfect.”
She washed it down with a swig of orange juice while Candace scooted over to sit beside her at the head of the bed.
“So what do you want to do today?” Candace asked.
“Nothing. Today feels like one of those days that you just stay in your pajamas and do nothing.”
“I think we can handle that,” Candace replied.
Lisbeth enjoyed her breakfast, even though the bacon was a little greasy. Candace took the tray away, and Lisbeth lounged in bed until ten. She finally emerged and made it to the couch, lying so she spanned the entire surface. She lifted up her top to stare at her stomach. From this angle, she could see a slight bump.
“Candace, come here,” she called in excitement.
“What is it?”
“Look. I have a baby bump already.”
Candace laughed and bent down to examine Lisbeth’s stomach. She ran her fingers over the exposed skin, leaving tiny quivers in their wake.
“I don’t see it.”
“You’re not looking from the right angle,” Lisbeth said.
Candace moved to the other end of the couch and resumed her squat.
“Now I see it. Right there,” she said. She leaned up and kissed just above Lisbeth’s belly button.
Lisbeth pushed herself to a sitting position, and their lips touched. “Careful. The doctor said no strenuous activity,” she teased.
“Are you sure about that?” Candace asked with a wink.
Lisbeth laughed and wrapped her arms around Candace’s neck. “You’re too good for me.”
“Oh, stop it.”
“So do you think we’ll get a boy or a girl?” Lisbeth asked.
“I don’t know. I’ll be happy with either.”
“I know. I almost feel bad thinking about it so early. After everything that happened last time.”
“Sweetie, we’re doing everything the doctor told us. Sometimes, things just happen. But I have to believe this time will be different. Someone was watching over us.”
“I want to be positive. I’m just scared we’ll lose this one, too.”
Candace squeezed Lisbeth’s shoulders. “Whatever happens, I’m here. You know that won’t ever change.”
They sat in silence, curled up against each other.
“We’re going to have to start decorating the nursery in a few months,” Candace said.
“Sometimes, when I come home after work, I just sit in the rocking chair and think about holding our little baby in my arms, rocking them to sleep. Those are the times I feel most at peace and confident we’ll make it through,” Lisbeth admitted.
Candace kissed Lisbeth on the cheek and brushed a stray piece of hair back into place. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother.”
“So will you.”
“I’ve been thinking. What are we going to do for last name?” Candace said.
“I think we have time to figure that out.”
Around mid-afternoon, the phone rang, and Lisbeth reached for it from her spot on the couch. She looked at the caller ID but didn’t recognize the number.
“Hello?”
“May I please speak with Ms. Marquez?”
“This is she.”
“Hi. I’m calling from your gynecologist’s office to remind you about your appointment Monday afternoon at one thirty.”
“Right. Thanks so much. I’ll see you at one thirty.”
“Have a good day.”
“Who was that?” Candace called from the kitchen.
“Doctor’s office reminding me about my appointment on Monday.”
“Do you want me to take off work early and pick you up?”
“Yes.”
Candace appeared with a tray of assorted crackers and cheeses.
“You’re spoiling me, woman. And those are hard cheeses, right?” Lisbeth said as she bit into a Triscuit.
“Yes. And no, you can’t steal the Pepper Jack. It’s all mine,” Candace said, nudging Lisbeth in the arm.
“You’re no fun,” Lisbeth said and bit into a cracker.
“So, you never told me about yoga on Wednesday.”
“Yes, I did.”
“You said you went and that it was a relaxing workout. But did you meet anyone?”
“One woman. Her name’s Shannon. She’s having her fourth child. She’s really nice. I’m looking forward to seeing her this week.”
“Not too happy to see her, I hope.”
“Oh hush. She’s married, silly. And so am I.”
“Yes, you are.” Candace reached over and took Lisbeth’s left hand in her own.
Lisbeth rested her head on the pillow behind her and stared out the window across the room. Her life was good right now. She was happily married to her soul mate, and they were going to have a baby. Now if only her family could accept her.
“What are you thinking about?” Candace asked.
“Just how happy and lucky I am to be where I am.”
Monday morning arrived, and as Lisbeth escorted James and Margaret out to meet their mother, Jack flagged her down. She waved at him as she pointed out the twins’ mother. Jack joined her as she headed back inside.
“Have a good weekend?” he asked.
“Yes, thank you. How about you?”
“Yeah. I was wondering if I could ask you something.”
“Okay. I’m heading out shortly.”
They walked back into her room, and she began reorganizing the craft table. She could feel his gaze on the back of her head.
“I’ve got a younger brother. He’s heading off to college next fall, and I think he could use someone to talk to.”
“Isn’t that what big brothers are for?”
Jack scratched his neck. “Well…he told me he thinks he might be in love for the first time, and I guess that’s more a woman’s department.”
“He can’t talk to your parents about it?”
“Not really.”
Lisbeth set the glue stick down on the table and turned to face Jack. She saw the redness in his cheeks as it crept up to the tips of his ears.
“Oh. That kind of first love.”
“I couldn’t think of anyone else I could talk to or ask for advice. I mean…you don’t have to talk to him. I can do it. I just need…some pointers.”
Lisbeth raised an eyebrow. “Pointers?”
“Like…do I tell him it’s okay? That what he’s feeling is normal? Because I don’t know.”
“You don’t have a problem if he is gay, do you?”
“He’s my baby brother. I just want him to be happy. I just don’t want to give him the wrong idea. I don’t want to see him get hurt.”
“You tell him that his feelings are normal and acceptable. And not to be afraid of them. But he doesn’t have to tell everyone right away if he finds his feelings are genuine. Just be there for him, Jack. Trust me; it’s hard to come out to family sometimes. My parents still blissfully ignore the fact that I’m married.”
“So he shouldn’t tell people how he feels?”
“Admitting the truth is hard for a lot of people. It was for me. But I found the most wonderful person that I plan to spend the rest of my life with and raise my child with. Just remind him that his happiness is what should come first.”
“Thanks,” he said.
“I know it’s hard. But you’ll both get through it.”
“Can I walk you out?”
“Sure. Don’t push him to talk about it, either. He may not be ready,” she added.
“Okay. And uh…sorry for being an idiot…again.”
“You weren’t being an idiot. Really, you weren’t.”
“Then why are you running like I’ve got three heads?”
“Sorry if I seem a little distracted. We’ve got a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. It’s kind of a big deal.”
“Oh.” He blushed some more. “Good luck.”
“Thanks. Good luck to you, too.”
Lisbeth grabbed her purse, and they walked out to the lobby. She signed out and waved goodbye to Jack. She watched him turn back toward the upper-grade hallway and shook her head. She wasn’t used to being the resident gay expert. Lisbeth climbed into the car and pulled out of the lot. An hour later, she and Candace sat in the waiting room of her OBGYN, hands clasped together to help defray the nerves. There were a few other women in the waiting area in various stages of pregnancy.
“Lisbeth Marquez,” a nurse called.
“We’re up,” Lisbeth said and held Candace’s hand all the way back to the exam room.
A paper gown waited on the bed. The nurse instructed her to put it on and wait for Dr. Ellison. Candace sat in the chair by the bed and waited. Lisbeth stripped down to her underwear and pulled the gown around her body. She slid her panties down her legs and stepped out of them.
“They said it’s not the usual ultrasound,” Lisbeth said when Candace gave her a confused look.
Lisbeth got comfortable on the table and rested her hands on her stomach. The room had the faint smell of disinfectant and rubber gloves. Not the most pleasant combination.
“Are you nervous?” Candace asked.
“A little bit. We’re close to where we lost the baby last time. I know we have each other, but I’m honestly not sure if I’d be able to handle not making it past this point.”
A knock sounded on the door, and Dr. Ellison walked in, followed by a nurse. The nurse turned on the ultrasound machine. The tiny cylindrical probe made goose bumps break out over her exposed arms. The last time she’d seen that instrument, she’d been given the devastating news that she’d miscarried.
“How are you feeling?” Dr. Ellison asked.
“Good. Just general nerves. You know our track record.”
“I do. And just to be sure, there’s been no spotting or bleeding of any kind? No abdominal discomfort?”
“None. We’ve been following all of your directions.”
“That’s good to hear. We’ll get the exam started. You’re going to feel a little discomfort, but it shouldn’t be painful.”
Lisbeth reached for Candace’s hand regardless and squeezed tight as she felt pressure between her legs. She watched the screen next
to her for the image to appear, and pinpricks danced along her arms as it began to take shape. He leaned in close. Lisbeth held her breath and searched every pixel on the screen to differentiate the shades of gray. Was the child still within her growing?
“That blob right there. That’s your baby,” he said.
Lisbeth exhaled and loosened her grip on Candace’s hand. Lisbeth squinted and could just make out the light gray blob on the screen in contrast the rest of the dark gray around it.
“And it looks healthy?” Lisbeth asked.
“Your fetus is perfectly healthy.”
Lisbeth and Candace exchanged elated grins. The doctor moved the wand, and Lisbeth winced. A new image appeared on the screen.
“Where’d the baby go?” Lisbeth asked.
Dr. Ellison examined the image again.
“Right there. It appears to have moved a little.”
“Is it supposed to do that? Move this early?”
“Let me get a better look here,” he said.
He moved the wand around until there were two clear gray blobs on the screen. Both pulsed with what Lisbeth guessed were heartbeats.
“Is that what I think it is?” Candace asked.
“If you’re thinking multiple embryos, yes. It appears we’ve got twins.”
“There’s more than one?” Lisbeth asked, and the sound barely passed her parched throat.
He scanned some more in silence, nodded to himself, and then hit a button on the machine twice. The nurse disappeared from the room. The doctor pulled the wand out from between Lisbeth’s legs.
“You’ve definitely got twins.”
“You’re sure about that?”
“Yes. It’s not uncommon with IVF pregnancies to have multiples. We discussed the possibility at the outset, if you recall.”
Lisbeth licked her lips and swallowed. “Right. Of course. I guess I’ve been so focused on getting past this point with one baby. A second didn’t even occur to me.”
“Is there anything we have to do in terms of visits?” Candace asked.
“Not right away. You’ll need to come in once a month at the beginning of the third trimester. As I’m sure you know, premature births are more common with multiples.”
“Are there any other concerns with twins?” Candace pressed.
