by Sarah Biglow
“Alyssa.”
“You’re naming her after your sister?”
“Yes.”
She could tell he wanted to say something, mostly likely protest her choice. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.
“It’s not up for debate, Bryce. I’m naming her Alyssa, and that’s all there is to it. Look, I have to get going. I have a tour in fifteen minutes,” she said.
It wasn’t really a lie. She did have an afternoon tour, but it wasn’t for another forty minutes. Still, he seemed to buy it and flagged down the waitress for the bill. To her surprise, he paid.
“So I guess just call me when you go into labor,” Bryce said a short while later as they pulled into the aquarium parking lot.
“Okay.”
“Do you need anything…like baby stuff?”
“No. I’m fine. Thanks.”
She climbed out of the car and headed back through the entrance. She got past the tropical fish before she spotted a familiar face.
“Hi,” Meghan Atwater greeted, breaking away from her group.
“Hi, Meghan. Are you here with school?”
“Yes. I like the fish. They look brighter today.”
“They do, you’re right. Why don’t we go find your teacher so they don’t think you got lost?”
“When does your baby come out?” Meghan asked as they walked upstairs to the second level.
“Pretty close to when Aiden does.”
“I wanted a little sister, but Mama said we don’t get to pick.”
Renee laughed. “Want to know a secret?”
Meghan leaned in close and nodded. “Yeah.”
“I wanted a little sister, too. But I got a brother instead.”
“I got all brothers.”
“Well, that means you’re Mama’s little princess and you’re extra special.”
“That’s what Mama says.”
“Meghan. There you are,” a frazzled-looking woman said and hurried to meet them.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to distract her. Meghan’s mom and I are friends,” Renee explained.
“Oh. Okay. You have to stay with the class,” her teacher said.
“Tell your mom I said hello,” Renee called.
“Okay. Bye.”
Renee watched Meghan run after her teacher and couldn’t help smiling. In a few short years, she’d be watching Alyssa go off on field trips with school. It suddenly made her worries about Bryce dissipate. She’d wanted to marry him once. She couldn’t let one bad experience sour everything, and her friends were right: he was trying to do the right thing now. She had to give him credit for that.
32
March 8th
Erika paced back and forth in the baggage claim of Terminal E at Logan. She’d gotten a short e-mail from Nate the day before saying he’d be back today. Wanting to surprise him, she hadn’t responded. It had been shocking that he had e-mail access. His plane was taxiing to the gate, and he’d be off soon. Sitting in one of the tiny seats by the window, Erika watched the escalator. To get his luggage, he’d have to walk past her, and she could easily ambush him. Finally, people started to appear at the top of the escalator. Though she felt hugely pregnant, they walked by her, as if she was invisible, and out the doors to taxis or the Silver Line or to the baggage carousels. Erika heaved herself to a standing position as a break in the flow of people revealed Nate coming from the other direction.
“Where’d he come from?” she grumbled, moving through the horde of people to meet him. “Hey,” she called.
“Erika?” Nate asked as he spun around.
She grabbed his arm to keep him from spinning around again and threw her arms about him. “I thought I’d surprise you,” she said.
He pulled her close and held on tight for what seemed like ages, but Erika didn’t mind. It was good to see him again. She’d been lonely in her AA meetings.
“I’m so glad you’re back,” she said into his shoulder.
“Me, too. I missed you,” he replied and stepped back. He looked her up and down. “And look at how big you are.”
“I’ve got amazing news,” she said.
“You found a family?” he asked.
“Yeah. We started e-mailing back in December. I got the call on Christmas Eve, actually. We met in January to figure out the paperwork and stuff. So now they’re paying for my bills and everything. They named the baby Peter.”
“Peter is a good, strong name. And I told you things had a way of working out.”
“I hope so.”
They walked the length of the baggage claim area until they reached the farthest one.
“I should have expected you to show up when I e-mailed you yesterday,” Nate said.
“Yeah, well, I wanted to give you a proper homecoming. Everyone at group misses you. Though I don’t know why you couldn’t e-mail more often.”
“I missed them, too. But we did a lot of good work. I’m really pleased with what we accomplished. And it wasn’t like we had Internet everywhere we went. So how are things with you and Dane?”
“Good. Really, good. We’re back together.”
“I’m glad.”
She reached out, took his hand in hers, and gave it a squeeze. A siren blared, and the machine began to spit luggage out, sending it around the big track. Nate reached out and grabbed his bags. By the time he finished, he had four large suitcases sitting at his feet.
“Did you bring back people as souvenirs?” Erika asked as she pulled out the handle on a roller suitcase.
“Very funny. I had to get some extra souvenirs for some family members.”
“Sure you did,” she teased as they headed out to the shuttle. They climbed on and took up three seats.
“Oh, I got you something, too.”
“You didn’t have to,” she said.
“I know. But I thought it’d be special. But you have to promise me something.”
“Okay. You’re just full of promises.”
“Don’t open it until September.”
“September? Why?”
“You’ll know why when it’s time.”
“You just like to see me squirm.”
“Not true. So how long have you and Dane been back together?”
Erika blushed. “Officially since New Year’s. And I’ve been going to meetings every week. Though I may have to take some time off when the baby is born next month.”
“Understandable. It’s all about taking care of yourself.”
“Yeah. I am. Believe me. I’m in a much better place now than when you left.”
“I’m so glad. And I really have missed you, Erika. There’s one more thing I think you should consider doing before April.”
“What?”
“I know you haven’t wanted to tell your parents about everything, but maybe you should.”
“But I’m giving Peter up. They aren’t even going to meet him.”
“I don’t think that matters. You are going through a healing process right now, and that means making amends to those you’ve hurt. Don’t you think keeping this a secret has been just a little unfair to them?”
Erika shoved her hands into the pockets of her pants and looked at her feet. Or as much of her feet as she could still see.
“I don’t know what I’d say to them.”
“You’ll figure it out. I have faith in you.”
“Thanks.”
They got off at South Station and walked to his platform. “I’m going the other way,” she said.
“Okay. I’ll see you tonight.”
“I’m counting on it. You’d better not forget my present.”
He laughed as a train to Braintree arrived and he got on. She headed over to the platform and waited for a train heading toward Alewife. That was the one thing she hated about the red line. She had to wait longer for trains. Living on the green line spoiled her. By the time she got back to her apartment, she had just enough time to change and head out to work. She tapped her fo
ot impatiently as the elevator rose to her floor. When she reached the door, it was open. Her brow creased with worry as she pushed it open.
“Hello?” she called.
No answer.
“Dane? Renee?”
Erika moved into the apartment and quickly checked the living room. No one. She walked into her bedroom and noticed the door to Renee’s room was shut. She didn’t remember Renee leaving it closed that morning. She pushed it open and saw Renee curled up under the covers.
“Renee?” Erika said softly.
“Hmm?”
“Are you okay? I thought you went to work.”
“I’m not feeling very well. I came home.”
“Oh. Can I get you anything?”
“No thanks. How was the airport?”
“Good. He got me something, but he didn’t tell me what it was. He said I couldn’t open it until September.”
“Sounds exciting.” Renee didn’t sound very enthused.
“I have to go to work. I’ll be back later. Do you want me to call Dane? Or Max?” Erika offered.
“No. I’ll be fine. I’m just kind of dizzy. I’ll sleep it off.”
“Okay.”
Erika went into her room and got ready for work and then hit the second speed dial on her phone and waited for Dane to pick up.
“Hey. What’s up?” he answered.
“Are you coming over tonight?”
“Yeah. I was planning on it. Should I not?”
“No, you can. Renee just isn’t feeling well. So we should probably do something low key.”
“We can do that. Besides, you’ve been all over the place lately. You should slow down. Don’t want to stress Peter out.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.”
Nate’s words repeated in her head. You should call your parents and tell them what’s been going on. The thought made her stomach turn. Maybe Peter is getting comfy for the night? She smoothed her hair and reached for her cell phone, scrolled through to her parents’ number, and hit send. It rang twice.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Mom,” Erika said. Her voice faltered.
“Honey, this is a surprise. Is everything okay? You sound upset.”
She sank to her bed. “I have to tell you something. Is Dad around?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you get him? I need to tell him something, too.”
“Give me a second.”
Erika listened. Footsteps echoed and distorted voices crackled until her dad’s voice became distinguishable.
“Erika. What’s going on?” he said.
“I…have been going through some things lately.”
“What kind of things?” her mom interrupted.
“I need to just tell you. So just let me talk.” She got to her feet and paced. “I found out I was pregnant back in August. And I was having some trouble dealing. I didn’t want to admit it in college, but I had a drinking problem. I still do. I…I’ve been getting help, though. I go to meetings twice a week. And I’ve been sober since September.”
The other end of the line was silent. Holding her breath, she waited for her parents to say something. Anything. Her heart pounded an erratic rhythm that danced lower and lower, threatening to drop into the pit of her stomach.
“Mom? Dad? Are you still there?” she asked.
“We’re here. You…you’re sure you’re pregnant?”
Erika looked down at her swollen stomach. “Yeah. I’m sure. I’m due in April.”
“Are you…keeping the baby?” her dad asked.
“No. I’m giving it up for adoption.”
“That’s a big decision. Are you absolutely sure you thought it through?” he asked.
“Yes, Dad. It’s the right thing for me to do. I can’t raise a baby with where I am in my life. I need to clean up and get my head on straight. He’s going to be raised by a great couple.”
“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” her mom pressed.
“I was scared. I didn’t know how you’d handle it. I thought…maybe you’d be angry at me.”
“Of course we aren’t angry, honey. Are you happy with your decision, sweetheart?” her mom said.
“Yes.”
“Then we’re happy for you. And if you need anything, just tell us.”
“I will, Mom. Thanks. I have to head to work. I love you, and I’ll call you soon. Promise.”
She hung up and headed to the kitchen to grab her keys and purse before heading out. That night, after her meeting, Erika curled up on the couch with Dane at her side and watched the end of a marathon on USA Network. She couldn’t tell if it was original programming or something in syndication, but she thought maybe the Law and Order credits scrolled at the end. She kept spinning the tiny box from Nate between her fingers. It had a note attached to not open it until September.
“You want me to hold onto it for you?” Dane asked.
“Nope. I’ll be fine. I just…it’s going to drive me crazy until September.”
“Just what we need. You going crazy.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re really happy he’s back, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. It’s nice to have someone I can talk to that really gets what’s going on. I mean, it’s not that you and Renee don’t. It’s just different with Nate.”
“I get it. I’m glad he’s back. He makes you happy, and I love seeing you happy.”
“You’re such a big dork.”
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “But I’m your big dork.”
“I talked to my parents today. Told them everything.”
“How’d that go?”
“They were surprised. But…I think they’re happy I’m getting things figured out.”
“I’m glad they’re being supportive.”
She patted his knee. “Let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted.”
33
April 1st
Lisbeth woke up to find her hospital room dark. A blurry figure, who her sleepy brain interpreted as Candace, sat slumped in a chair beside the bed. She looked around for the clock, and her gaze finally landed on the timepiece. Only four in the morning. Why am I awake right now? Lisbeth tried to roll over but found the movement sent ripples of pain through her stomach. It didn’t help that the bed sheets tangled with the mass of wires from the monitors attached to keep track of Rachel and Patrick’s vital signs. She gasped in pain, and it was enough to rouse Candace. Lisbeth felt a hand wrap around hers.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.”
Candace moved to turn on the light, and Lisbeth tried to move to a sitting position. Something was wrong. The bed felt wet.
“Candace.”
“What?”
“Get a nurse. I think my water broke.”
She watched Candace run from the room and heard the soles of her shoes smacking against the floor as her voice echoed in the empty corridor. Don’t wake the whole floor. Lisbeth took slow, even breaths as she waited for a nurse to come. The pressure in her lower abdomen, below her belly button, was probably contractions. This time for real. At least they were less painful than the last time. After what seemed an eternity, Candace came back with a nurse.
“Do you know what time your water broke?” the nurse asked.
“No. I just realized it a minute or two ago. I can feel pressure and movement. I think they’re contractions.”
“I’m just going to check your cervix, okay?”
“Yeah.”
Lisbeth settled onto the bed and watched as the nurse lifted up the blankets. She squirmed in discomfort as the nurse’s fingers searched uncomfortably between her legs while her other hand pressed above her uterus.
“It looks like you’re about one centimeter dilated. I’ll let a doctor know, and we’ll check you again in an hour to see how you’re doing.”
“I’m still three weeks from my due date,” Lisbeth said.
“
You’re doing just fine. Just relax. Three weeks early with twins is very good. You can use the call button to reach someone if the contractions get too much. You’re still too early to get an epidural.”
All Lisbeth could do was nod. It was out of her hands now. She’d progress as quick or slow as her body wanted. Being a first-time mom led her to believe labor would be long and slow. For a split second, she envied Shannon. She’d probably have a smooth, short delivery. Lisbeth rubbed her face and looked over at Candace.
“What day is it?” Lisbeth asked.
“What?”
“What day is it?”
“April first.”
“Some April Fool’s joke this is,” Lisbeth said with a hiccup of laughter.
“Our kids think they’re funny, that’s all.”
“They’re hilarious.”
Candace remained standing.
“Get comfy. I think we’re in for a long one,” Lisbeth said.
She did her best to stay calm and comfortable as the contractions continued over the next several hours. Around eight that morning, Doctor Melissa came in, followed by a nurse.
“How are we doing?” Melissa asked.
“Okay. I don’t think the contractions have changed much. I don’t think they’re getting closer together.”
“Are they still the same level of pain?”
“Yeah. But it’s not as bad as when I came in the first time.”
“Okay. Let’s see where we are.”
Melissa bent down and lifted up the sheet. “You were about two and half centimeters last we checked. It looks like you haven’t changed in the last hour.”
Lisbeth moaned. “I know they say labor the first time takes forever, but it doesn’t make it any less stressful.”
“We’ll wait another hour, and if nothing changes, we’ll give you some Pitocin to help speed things along.”
Lisbeth nodded and let out a slow breath. Candace gripped her hand, and they both watched Doctor Melissa leave them to wait out the monotony.
“I guess we just have to hope that things progress in the next hour,” Candace said.
“That’s all we can do,” Lisbeth said.
Three hours and a Pitocin drip later, Lisbeth’s hope of having a vaginal delivery plummeted. Her labor stalled at three centimeters dilation, and she was pretty sure she could feel some distress with the twins. She kept her gaze locked on the fetal heart monitors as they beeped away at high speeds.
