by Carlos King
“Four hundred dollars ain’t that bad, I guess,” said Alexis.
“Check it out for yourself. I’ll set up a meeting between y’all and you can decide if he’s somebody you wanna do business with or not. Okay?”
Hesitant to answer, Alexis finally decides that it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to at least meet the guy that Tatiana is so boastfully vouching for. “Okay, I’ll meet your guy. But if I don’t like what he’s talking about I’m off it. Won’t be no two ways about it,” Alexis asserted.
“No problem,” Tatiana said in a restrained-enthusiastic kind of way. “I’ll set it up for tomorrow afternoon. You won’t regret it, Lexi. I promise.”
Unmoved by Tatiana’s promise, Alexis responds, “Whatever you say, TT.” Buried in the back of her mind, Alexis knows that even the notion of considering a pimp is an idea that Trina would’ve never condoned. But with her back against the wall and money needing to be made, Alexis finds herself in a tight spot.
CHAPTER 16
BACK IN THE GAME
With a pimp now watching her back, Alexis has returned to the night life with a renewed sense of security. Despite having someone to answer to and pay wages to, she feels that she may have made a fairly intelligent decision. Before agreeing to work with Rich she made her plans very clear on how she only wants his protection for a short period of time. She also negotiated a set rate of what she’s going to pay him each night she works. All of these things seem to be professional, courteous, and highly unlikely to be honored by someone who earns their living as a pimp. Only time will tell how this arrangement will turn out.
After a long night of car hopping, Alexis and Tatiana make plans to grab some breakfast before they head back to Tatiana’s house. As the rising sun shines over the poverty-stricken city, the two find themselves heading into a local café only a few blocks away from their stroll. They take a seat at a booth near the front of the restaurant and await the services of one of the waitresses.
“Girl, I’m tired as hell. I was out there all night and barely made enough to pay Rich his dues,” Tatiana said to Alexis, pulling out two cigarettes and a lighter from her purse. “How did you make out?”
“I made enough. These niggas must’ve been missing me out here,” Alexis confidently stated, reaching across the table to grab a cigarette.
“You coming over to Rich’s with me to pay your dues?” Tatiana asked.
Flipping through a menu, Alexis explains, “I don’t pay him nightly. That was one of our arrangements. We agreed that I’d pay him what he’s owed every Friday.”
“What?!” Tatiana exclaimed in bewilderment. She cannot believe that Alexis got such a cushy deal. “You got him to agree to some shit like that?” What the fuck? You had a lawyer with you or something?”
Laughing, Alexis replies, “No, I just knew what I wanted to do, and if he wasn’t cool with that I would’ve just kept it moving. By the way he was acting I could tell he wanted me on his team. He probably would’ve agreed to anything I said.” Alexis leans in closer to Tatiana in order to get her cigarette lit.
“That might not be for nothing.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alexis asked, taking a puff from her cigarette.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t do that. Speak what’s on yo’ mind.”
Tatiana explains her earlier statement. “Rich got about twelve girls working for him, including myself. We’ve been with him for years and don’t none of us get the special treatments he’s giving you. That’s pissing a lot of us off.”
“I don’t give a fuck who it’s pissing off. What am I supposed to do, fall in line with the rest of y’all and let him treat me like shit? You must be crazy. I didn’t even wanna do this pimp shit. You were the one that kept pushing it on me. And now you wanna start acting all funny and shit.”
“I’m not acting funny, Alexis. All I’m doing is telling you how I feel about the shit.”
“So what y’all think? That I’m fucking my way into better standings or something?” Alexis hostilely questioned.
“No, we now you not doing that. Shit, you probably the only one of us he hasn’t fucked yet. That’s all part of working for him too. I guess that’s another work detail you’ve also been excluded from, though.”
“You know what; I don’t need this shit from you right now.” Alexis puts her cigarette out in the ashtray and gathers her belongings. “Bad enough I have to deal with jealous bitches out on the streets…I don’t need my so-called friend bringing no bullshit to me, too.”
Realizing that she’s in the wrong, Tatiana tries to apologize for her thoughtless remarks. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m tired, I’m hungry, I’m broke…I’m just sorry, alright?”
Alexis gets up from the table.
“I said I was sorry, Alexis,” Tatiana repeated. “I didn’t mean to be a bitch.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you when you get home.”
“I thought we was gonna have breakfast together.”
“I lost my appetite. See you later.” On that final note, Alexis storms out of the café.
CHAPTER 17
CHANGE OF HEART
Tatiana walks through her apartment door an hour or so later and finds a large garbage bag of clothes set by the television. Upon closer inspection, she discovers that the bag is filled with Alexis’ clothes and other personal items.
“Alexis!” Tatiana called out, walking into the living room. “Alexis!”
“Yeah, I’m back here! Here I come!” a voice replied from one of the back rooms. Seconds later, Alexis emerges from the bathroom and enters the living room. “What’s up, girl?”
“What you doing?” Tatiana questioned.
“What it look like? I’m packing my stuff. I’m moving out.”
“You leaving?”
“Yeah, it’s time for me to get outta here and give you your space back.”
“If this is about what happened earlier—” Tatiana started.
“This ain’t got nothing to do with that,” Alexis interrupted. “That shit is already forgotten. I’m just ready to be back on my own again. I really do appreciate you letting me crash here, though.”
“You going back to your apartment? You sure that’s a good idea?”
“Nope. I found another place that’ll hold me over for a while. At least until I find someplace better. It’s nothing to brag about, but at least it’ll be mine,” said Alexis.
“You know you don’t have to leave, right?”
“Thanks for saying that, girl. On my way here I had time to think. I’m just ready to start doing my own thing now. Not just the moving out part, either. I wanna change everything in my day-to-day life, too,” declared Alexis.
“What you talking about?”
“Trina once told me how easy it is to lose yourself in a life like the ones we’re living. I mean, look at us…When we first started we were only kids. Now look at us. We’re in our mid-twenties. Honestly, does it really feel like ten years have gone by already?”
“No, it doesn’t. It seems like only a few years…Definitely not ten.”
“That’s right. And to keep it real with you, I’m not trying to waste another ten years doing this shit. I’m not trying to be in my thirties still fucking with these thirsty-ass tricks. I’m tired of being out in the streets, wearing a mini-skirt and high-heels in the heart of winter. That shit’s getting old to me. How about you?”
“When you put it like that, I guess the shit is getting old. But what else is there? I’m not trying to be working for minimum wage. I don’t wanna deal with asshole bosses and dick head customers.”
“No, none of that stuff,” Alexis affirmed. “Wait, I wanna show you something.”
Alexis runs over to the garbage bag and pulls out the notepad she had back at the hospital. She takes it over to Tatiana.
“When I was younger I use to write down shit that was on my mind in a notepad like this one. It was something I did to help me escape all the bu
llshit I was going through,” Alexis explained.
“You mean like a diary, right?”
“That’s what it started off as. But after a while, putting ordinary words on paper started to get boring to me. So I started writing everything down in a poetic type fashion, trying to make everything rhyme. And when that started getting old, I started writing everything in verses.”
“Like song verses?” Tatiana asked.
“Right. It started with me telling my own personal story and then I branched off and started telling different stories. Stories that people might go through on a daily basis, good or bad. I remember sometimes even singing them out to myself in my room and recording them on this cheap ass tape recorder my mom had got me.”
“I didn’t know you knew how to sing, Lexi.”
“I did a long time ago.”
“If you could back then, you should still be able to now. I don’t think you can lose singing ability,” said Tatiana, taking a seat on the couch. “What made you stop?”
“I didn’t have nothing to sing about.”
Noticing that Alexis’ mood appears to be growing dim, Tatiana changes the subject and redirects it back on the notepad. “So what’s with the notepad?”
“Oh, yeah, I wanted to show you what I’ve been working on when I was in the hospital.” Alexis hands the notepad to Tatiana. “Now, I never showed anybody my writings before, not even Trina, so you better not laugh.”
Tatiana flips through the pad and is shocked at the effort put forward by Alexis. “You used every single page in here. Even the back of the sheets are filled. You said you’ve been doing this since you were in the hospital?”
“Yep. I hadn’t written anything since I was fourteen, but one night when I was in the hospital I woke up with the perfect idea for a song in my head and something forced me to get up and put it down on paper.”
“You’ve only been out for a couple weeks. How did you manage to fill out a hundred-and-fifty page notepad so quick?”
“It’s been like that ever since that night I woke up with that one song on my mind. From that night on, ideas have been coming to me in bunches. It’s like a faucet that I can’t turn off. And to be honest, I wouldn’t turn it off even if I could. This is the one thing in my life I actually like doing. Something I can honestly say I created on my own.”
Tatiana leans back, studying the contents of Alexis’ writings. Several seconds into her examination, Tatiana’s complete attention has been locked on the ink-covered pages.
Sitting next to Tatiana on pins and needles, is an extremely nervous Alexis. Although she’s very confident in her own mind about the cleverness of her work, she’s not so sure if it will grab the interest of others. Trying her best to patiently wait for Tatiana’s assessment of her writings, Alexis’ impatience reaches its climax.
“Okay, what do you think?” she eagerly asked. Tatiana continues reading and doesn’t respond to Alexis’ question. Overwhelmed with anxiety now, Alexis repeats her question. “TT, what do you think, bitch?!”
Pulled back into reality, Tatiana turns faces Alexis and stares at her with a stunned expression.
“What?” Alexis asked. “You didn’t like it, did you?”
“You wrote everything in here?” Tatiana asked in disbelief. “You sure no one helped you?”
“Nobody helped me. I wrote everything in there. Why you ask that?”
“You’re not fucking with me, are you? You didn’t steal this from somebody else, did you?”
“No. I wrote it on my own, I swear. Why you keep asking that? Did you like it?” Alexis nervously asked again.
“I don’t like it…I love it!”
Alexis develops a brilliant smile. “Are you serious, TT!? You liked it for real?!”
“Lexi, this shit is nice as hell. And that’s just with me reading it. If someone sung that shit and sung it right, that shit would be a hit,” Tatiana assured. “How many songs do you have in here?”
“Shit, I’m not really sure. It’s probably somewhere around fifty to sixty songs. I know for sure in the other pad I have about twenty-five, but I’m almost finished done with the twenty-sixth one.”
“The other pad?” Tatiana repeated. “You’ve got another pad besides this one filled with songs too?” Alexis nods. “What kind of songs are they? Are they like the one I just read or are they different?”
Alexis replies, “They’re all different. I wrote some songs to make people think and some to help people unwind. Some are to touch a person’s heart and some will make you wanna get out on the dance floor. Some were made to be sung from a woman’s point of view and some were made to be sung from a man’s.”
“Sing one for me. Show me those vocal skills you were telling me about.” Tatiana hands Alexis her notepad.
“No, thanks. I wrote these for somebody else to sing.”
“Why? If your voice is as good as the lyrics you wrote, that could be your ticket outta this life. There’s a lot of money to be made in the entertainment business.”
“I don’t know if I can channel the right emotions needed to sing these songs. I’ve been through too much shit in my life. The only feeling I have inside of me is close to being dead. Besides, the money is just as good behind the scenes. I don’t need the attention that comes along with being a celebrity. Let’s not forget, I am a hooker.”
“So what if you are?” Tatiana asked. “Half the people in the music industry are liars anyway. They talk about shit they don’t know nothing about. At least you’d be one of the true few who earned your strips through real life experiences. Think about it. There’s a little girl out there somewhere going through the same shit you went through. They need somebody to show them they’re not alone—that they have a chance to make a better life for themselves.”
Although she already has her mind dead-set against singing, Alexis takes note of Tatiana’s statement. She comprehends that bad things happen to undeserving people all throughout their lives, but she doesn’t believe she’s the one who should serve as a role model or spokes person for this minority crowd.
“I’m not after the limelight no more,” said Alexis. “I’m all about getting my ass off these streets. I want you to come with me, TT.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, TT. You hate doing this shit just as much as I do.”
“I do, but I can’t write like you and I can’t sing for shit. The only thing I can do is hold you back. I don’t wanna do that to you, Lexi.”
“You wouldn’t hold me back. You’d be my friend. You’d be the one reassuring me that everything’s going to be okay, especially if things start looking hopeless. You’d be the one that’ll tell me if a song I wrote is garbage or not. You’d be helping me out more than you know.”
“You sure about this, Lexi?”
“I’m positive,” Alexis confirmed.
“Alright, I’m sold. So what’s the first step?”
“Well, the way I see it, the first thing we have to do is start hitting up some record labels. Lucky for us, we happen to be living in a place where labels are on every single corner downtown. New York is the best place in the world to jump into the music business.”
Tatiana is totally committed to Alexis’ plan, but there’s a small detail she feels they’re overlooking. “Don’t we need some type of demo or something before we start approaching these places?”
“I don’t know. I hadn’t really gazed that far ahead yet. Like I said, I just thought of all this on my way home from the coffee shop. But I’m pretty sure every songwriter didn’t have a demo on deck before they got into the game. And even if they did, I’d have to hope that they’ll be willing to work with me on that shit.”
“And not to throw rain on your parade, but all of the legit businesses are downtown. Aren’t we kind of far away? It might get costly taking trains and cabs downtown every day,” Tatiana added.
“I know. That’s why I’m moving away from this hell hold.”
“Where you moving to?�
�
“I’m moving into the heart of where I need to be. I’m moving downtown. I decided to stay in a motel until I can find something a little more permanent. I got enough money put up to get me through on rent for a while. That means I’ll be able to dedicate more time to handling business issues.”
“I don’t know, girl. This shit starting to sound a little shaky now.”
“Trust me, okay? I know what I’m doing. I have a real good feeling about this. I want you to move with me, TT.”
“I don’t know, Lexi,” Tatiana said, fighting the urge to go along with Alexis’ plan.
“Come on, girl. We don’t need this shit no more. It’s time for us to make some moves. Give me a month, okay? If things don’t look good for us after a month’s time then I’ll come back here with you. I promise. What do you say?”
After giving it some serious consideration, Tatiana reluctantly gives Alexis a smile. Overjoyed by Tatiana’s decision, Alexis wraps her arms around her friend and embraces her in the tightest hug she can give.
Alexis enthusiastically says, “That’s my girl! We gone do this shit big, TT. You just watch. Everything has already been set. I’m gonna move my stuff over to the new place tomorrow morning and go stock us up with enough food and shit to last us for some time. You can come with me actually. That way you’ll know where the place is. We’ll make the final move on Friday. That’ll give you enough time to make a little extra money and it’ll give me enough time to get Rich his money.”
“Rich…Shit! I forgot all about his ass.” Tatiana shouted out.
“What?”
“Rich would kill my ass if he found out I was leaving. And now that you one of his bitches, he’ll beat your ass, too,” Tatiana warned.
“Fuck Rich! I already told that nigga my stay with him was temporary. And as far as you go, he ain’t gone do shit to you either because he won’t know where you’re at. Fell me?”
