“How long has it been since you talked to your brother?”
“Five years.” A look of pain marred her beautiful face and I immediately wanted to console her, switching our places in the blink of an eye. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay, Navie. I swear. I’m over it.”
Her eyes focused on my chest, her fingers rubbing soft, lazy circles against my skin. “But that’s your family.” The devastation in her voice sliced at my insides. She’d been raised without a family, and hearing me talk about the rift between me and my brother actually hurt her.
“Don’t be sad,” I told her, pressing my fingers against her chin so I could see her eyes. Those beautiful, expressive, dark blue eyes were swimming with tears. “Christ, baby, you’re killing me here. Don’t cry for me.”
“I’m not crying,” she said as indignantly as a person could while sniffling back tears. I couldn’t help but to laugh, which got me the smile I’d been craving. Just one smile from her and it felt like winning the lottery.
“So,” she sniffled again and wiped at the wetness she’d just sworn wasn’t in her eyes. “Why is she emailing you again? And what was Richard talking about last night when he said you didn’t know the full story?”
“Well, I can only guess that Bree’s emailing again because she and Richard are getting a divorce. As far as what Richard said…” I gave her a shrug. “Don’t know, don’t care.”
“Messy,” she answered.
“Yep. And I want nothing to do with it.”
Navie took a deep breath in through her nose and let it back out. “I can’t say I blame you. I’m sad for you, but I don’t blame you.”
“Well,” I spoke, a salacious grin spreading across my lips. “We could go back to bed and you could try really hard to make me feel better.”
I moved in for another kiss but her hands on my chest pressed harder, stopping me from my ultimate goal. “Hold on there, playboy. I didn’t agree to that.”
My smile fell. “Yes, you did,” I argued, suddenly feeling rather grumpy. “You said yes. You said we could take it one day at a time. You aren’t switching off on me again, Navie. So help me—”
She giggled that adorable giggle of hers that would have set me on fire if I wasn’t getting mad. “Calm down. I’m not switching off,” she mocked, voice full of humor. “I just think we need a few ground rules.”
I so did not like the sound of that. “You’re joking, right?” I asked indignantly.
Her expression grew firm as she stepped back and popped her hands on her hips in the typical don’t fuck with me female pose. “No, I’m not joking. The fact of the matter is I still work for you. If we’re going to do this—”
I interrupted with a growl. “Oh, we’re so gonna do this.”
“Then we need to establish some boundaries to keep it from getting…” she waved one tiny hand in a circle while trying to come up with the right word, “…messy. Because this can get very messy, Rowan. You’re aware of that, right? Employee/boss relationships never end well.”
“That’s not true,” I objected, wanting to prove her wrong for the simple fact that I didn’t want her to have any valid reasons to put a stop to whatever it was we were starting.
One of her eyebrows quirked up. “Really? Name one person you know who it’s worked out for.”
I thought… and came up with nothing. “Damn it!”
“See?” she crowed, looking a little too victorious for my liking. “We need ground rules.”
“Fine,” I relented on a huff. “What are these ground rules?”
“No hanky-panky while I’m on the clock.”
“Oh, hell no! Fuck that. I’m not agreeing to that rule!”
“You have to!”
“Like hell I do. Nope, no way.” I crossed my arms over my chest in finality.
The little devil did the same. “Then this isn’t happening.”
I felt pretty certain at that point that my head was about to explode. I looked up at the ceiling on a long groan before finally caving to her demands. “Fine. What else?”
“No other women,” she replied without hesitation.
“Then no other men,” I added with a cocked brow.
“Deal.”
A corner of my mouth tipped up in a grin. “Anything else?”
She looked thoughtful for a second, her lips scrunched to the side, forehead wrinkled. “That’s all I got for now. But I’m sure I’ll think of something later.”
“Great!” I said a little too enthusiastically as I reached for her. “We can start now. It’s a Sunday. You’re off the clock.”
She sidestepped my hold. “Sorry, big boy, got stuff to do today. I need to head home.”
“You know you’re killing me, right?” I pouted dramatically as I dropped my head to the kitchen counter. All I heard as she left the kitchen was that sweet giggle trailing down the hallway.
I was such a sucker.
I lied.
I didn’t have anything to do; I just needed some space from Rowan. It felt like things were moving at warp speed, and I needed a chance to process everything without the risk of him twisting me into knots.
I’d put up a valiant effort to convince him I could take a cab home. It was New York, for Christ’s sake; people cabbed it everywhere. But he wouldn’t hear of it. When we pulled up in front of my building, he planted a bone-melting kiss on my lips before I even had the car door open. I was so hot and bothered by the time I finished the climb up the stairs to my apartment, it was a miracle I hadn’t spontaneously combusted.
High-heeled sandals hanging from my fingers, I unlocked the front door of my apartment and crept in, trying my best not to wake Harlow. No such luck.
“And where have you been, missy?”
“Ah! Shit!” I yelled as I spun around, hand to my thundering heart. Harlow stood in the space between the entryway and living room, arms crossed over her chest, one hip popped out, a stern-mother expression on her face. “Crap on a freaking cracker, Har. You just scared a few years off my life! I thought you’d be asleep.”
“Thought or hoped? Seeing as you never came home and are sneaking in wearing your gown from last night.”
“Uh… hoped?”
A wicked smile spread across her lips as she rushed me and pulled me into a hug. “You dirty little ho! You’re totally doing the walk of shame, aren’t you? Eeeeeeeeeep! I’m so happy for you! Tell me all about it. Who was the guy? How was he? Are you seeing him again? You totally have hump hair right now.” She leaned in and sniffed. “And you still kinda smell like sex.”
“Ewww, gross!” I shouted, swatting at her. “Get away from me, weirdo. I haven’t had a chance to shower yet.”
As I made my way to my room to change out of my dress and take that aforementioned shower, she followed behind, yapping like a month-old puppy with ADHD the entire time. “Sooooo? Are you gonna spill the beans on who you banged?”
I turned to look at her over my shoulder. She was propped against my door, obviously not planning on moving any time soon. “Don’t say ‘banged’,” I told her as I dropped the gown to the floor and reached for the plush, terrycloth robe I kept draped over my desk chair. I’d changed in front of Harlow so many times, it was nothing.
I received an exaggerated eye-roll. “Fine. Who’d you play hide the salami with? Stuff the chicken? Plow the field? Slob the sausage?
I felt my cheeks heating as I slapped my hands over my face. “Oh, God! If I tell you, will you stop?”
“Yep.”
“Fine. Please, just… Stop. Talking.” She mimicked locking her lips together and throwing away the key. Taking a big breath, I spit my words out quickly. “It was Rowan.”
The atmosphere in the room shifted and when I uncovered my eyes, Harlow’s face was flooded with concern. “Oh, babe.” She sighed. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
My body went stiff just as I finished tying the belt on my robe. “What do you mean? I thought you were all for this?”
“I was. I am. I’m just… worried. I know something has been going on between you two and I know I’ve been teasing you, I just didn’t think you’d give in.”
I tried not to be insulted, I really did, but I couldn’t help it. “So, you think I’m being stupid?” I asked, offended.
“No! No, I don’t think you’re being stupid. It’s just… you lead with your heart. I want to make sure you’ve thought about this. That you can handle whatever happens between you two. I don’t want you to get hurt.” The frown that marred her beautiful face melted some of the ice that had formed in my bones. But what she said next thawed it completely. “You’re important to me. You hurt, I hurt. I just want you safe.”
I wrapped Harlow in a tight hug, squeezing with all my strength. “I know, babe. And you’re just as important to me, too. But I walked into this thing with Rowan with my eyes wide open, I swear. I know his reputation, but I also know him. This may work out, it may not, but I’m prepared for whatever the outcome may be.”
I was proud of how confident I sounded, because the truth was, I had no idea what I was doing. And that scared me. But I didn’t want Harlow to know that. She’d known me when I was the shy introvert who hid away from everything in order to guard myself from more pain. I could see it in her eyes; she feared I’d revert back to that. I did, too, but I couldn’t let myself think that far ahead.
One day at a time, that’s what Rowan had said. That was what I had agreed to. I just hoped I wasn’t crushed in the process.
The lid of my laptop slammed down, nearly taking off a couple of my fingertips in the process. “What the hell?” I snapped, lifting my gaze to find Rowan hovering over me, one hand on my computer, the other resting on the back of the couch by my head, caging me in. “I was working on that!”
“It’s 5:30,” he said between clenched teeth.
“So?”
“So… it’s quitting time.”
“Rowan,” I sighed. “I’m not done yet. Just give me another fifteen—”
“No,” he cut me off, pulling the computer from my lap and setting it on the coffee table. “I’m not giving you another five minutes. You said we couldn’t do anything while you’re on the clock, and I’ve held up my side of the bargain.” His hand wrapped around one of my ankles, using it to pull me down the length of the couch so I was lying on my back, his weight coming down on top of me so I had no other choice but to open my legs to him. “Now it’s time for you to live up to yours.” I giggled as his lips came down, trailing whisper-light kisses against my neck. “Jesus, I need to be inside you, Navie,” he groaned as I wrapped my legs around his lean hips, reveling in the feel of him against me, already hard and ready.
I nipped at his lower lip, earning myself a growl. “I’m starting to think you have a problem.”
“I agree. You aren’t naked. That’s a huge fucking problem.”
Heat flooded me as he ground his hips against mine, drenching my panties as his hard-on rubbed against the perfect spot. “Rowan,” I moaned, my head falling back against the cushion. It had been five days of pure, unadulterated sexual bliss. It was as if we couldn’t get enough of each other. The moment the workday finished, we were on one another like animals, ripping clothes, ravishing each other. It was insanity. But the strangest part of all of it was that the sex hadn’t changed the nature of our relationship. I’d expected things to be different between us once intimacy entered the picture, but we still joked, we still teased, we still laughed and argued. The only difference in our relationship was that we now had a detailed knowledge of what set the other person aflame.
“You have no idea what you do to me,” he spoke softly as he pulled my earlobe into his mouth and bit down, drawing a sharp gasp from my lungs. “Drive me fucking crazy,” he continued. “Can’t think about anything else.” His fingers dug into my hips impatiently, his demeanor turning somewhat manic in his desperation for me. It drove me wild. “Want you all the fucking time.”
“I want you, too,” I breathed, lifting my head, eager to feel his lips against mine as I circled my hips against his over and over.
“Can’t get enough. Never get enough of you.”
Something inside me snapped. I needed to feel him like I needed air. Sliding my hands between our bodies, I went for the button and zipper of his fly with quick efficiency. The moment my fingers wrapped around his cock, his forehead dropped to my shoulder. The power that coursed through me was a heady thing. I pumped my fist, circling the head of his erection with my thumb, spreading the beads of precum that had formed. I did that, me. I held Rowan in the palm of my hand, figuratively and literally, and I got off on the fact that I could make him react in such an animalistic way. My name came through his gritted teeth as he thrust into my fist.
“Fuck me, Rowan,” I whispered against his lips.
With another growl, his weight was gone. Our clothes went flying and I barely had time to blink before he flipped me over, propping my belly over the arm of the couch. I braced myself, waiting, praying for him to pound into me. But he was in the mood to tease. I whimpered as he slid through my folds, drenching himself in my wetness. “Rowan,” I cried.
“What, baby?”
“Please.”
He kept his rhythm between my thighs, the head of his dick hitting my clit with every upward stroke. “Want me to fuck you?”
I couldn’t speak; all I could do was nod.
“You want me hard, Navie?”
I nodded again.
“I want to feel you,” he spoke against my ear. My confusion must have come through with my lack of response so he continued. “Want to fuck you bare, baby. Nothing between us. Please tell me you’re covered. I’m losing my goddamned mind.”
“Rowan…” I trailed off, not sure how to answer. Part of me craved feeling him inside me with no barriers. But that small voice in the back of my head spoke up just then, warning me. It was too personal, too close. I was risking too much.
“Please,” he pleaded in a low, gravelly voice. “Tell me it’s okay, baby.”
How was I ever supposed to deny him anything when he spoke to me so lovingly, so reverently, like I was everything? I couldn’t. I knew it was a major blow to my protective armor. I knew the moment he slid into me with nothing between us that another piece of my heart was going to be lost to him. I just couldn’t say no.
“Yes. God!” He filled me so perfectly, so completely, in one quick thrust I nearly went over the edge.
“Oh, Jesus!” he ground out as he picked up the pace, pulling out quickly just to slam back in. “You feel so good, Navie.”
Each slam of his hips pushed the air from my lungs. I was a panting, writhing bundle of nerves ready to shatter. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, Rowan proved me wrong. Twisting my hair around his fist, he pulled me up, his strong, sweat-slicked chest pressed firmly against my back. “Is that good?” he rasped in my ear as he licked and bit at my neck.
“S-so good,” I responded, tilting my head further to the side for better access as I pushed my ass back into him, my body setting a perfect rhythm with his.
“You love it when I’m inside you, baby? When I’m fucking you so deep, so hard, I’m all you’ll be able to feel for days?”
“Row—” I choked on a near sob building up in my throat. It was so fantastic, so blissful that I became overwhelmed by the sensation of everything. I was frantically pushing toward release at the same time I feared the intensity of what was about to happen.
“Only me,” he continued. Using the hand that wasn’t tangled in my hair, Rowan pried my fingers from the death grip I had on the arm of the sofa, leading our joined hands down my stomach, not stopping until we could each feel where his body connected with mine. “This pussy’s mine, Navie. All mine. Everything about you is mine.”
I dropped my head forward, lost in what he was doing to me, only to have him jerk my hair back, the sting in my scalp a perfect combination of pleasure and pain. “Say it. I want to hear you admi
t it.”
“Please,” I whimpered, too far gone.
“Tell me everything about you belongs to me, and I’ll give you what you want.”
I remained silent, my body at war with my head. One screaming at me to say the words while the other fought to keep me guarded.
“You’re so close. I can feel you squeezing around my cock, baby. You need to come, don’t you?”
I nodded, tears prickling the backs of my eyes.
“Just say it. Tell me and I’ll let you come. I’ll make it so good for you, Navie. You can trust me.”
“Yes!” I screamed, barreling closer and closer to the edge, needing nothing more than to fall over.
“Yes, what?”
“I belong to you!”
With that, he moved, guiding our interlocked fingers to my clit and applying just enough pressure to send me hurtling into the abyss, yelling his name over and over like a plea. He followed after me only seconds later.
And just like that, I’d given over that last little shred of my heart I had left, placing it in the palm of his hand, all the while praying I hadn’t just made the biggest mistake of my life.
It had been three days since I took Navie on my couch. Three days since something significant changed between us. It was a shift I knew she felt just as well as I did, despite the fact that she refused to acknowledge it. My head was muddled, but I was bound and determined not to fuck this up, consciously pushing the concerns and lingering anxiety to the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind and locking them in a steel, reinforced box. Things were good between us, I’d be a fool not to acknowledge that, and I was determined to do exactly what I told her I would—take things one day at a time. And so far, everything had been great.
Except for one little thing.
Like every night for the past week and a half, Navie climbed from my bed and began getting dressed. And like every night for the past week and a half, it pissed me off. It was completely foreign to me, wanting a woman to stay the night in my bed with me. Yes, my past one-night stands had sometimes stayed the night, but that was mainly because I was so exhausted afterwards, I passed out before I had a chance to send them packing—something I rectified early the following morning. But I wanted Navie to stay. And not only because I wanted her over and over again, but also just because I wanted her there.
Love Hate Relationship (a Colors novel) Page 17
