“I thought you were joking when you gave me a projected head count of ten including Angela, me, and Tyler.”
“Nope. That’s probably all we’ll have. If that.”
“What about Julien’s parents?”
“He hasn’t seen his mom since he was very young. And his dad and I…Well, let’s just say his father’s not very happy about this marriage. I haven’t even met Pierre.”
The tug on Mandy’s breast lessened, and she lifted her daughter to her shoulder, rubbing her back. Sophie belched in her ear, and the three women laughed.
“Yeah, she was hungry,” Mandy said. She pulled the robe closed and rocked Sophie gently, cooing to her. “Julien’s dad hasn’t come to see the baby.”
Mom gave her a pointed stare. Damn. Mandy hadn’t meant to point out that Mom hadn’t been able to see the baby until now either. Her tone had been so condescending of Pierre’s behavior. Mom probably thought she’d put them both in the same boat.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to imply that it was your fault you hadn’t met Sophie in her first few months. That wasn’t your fault. I’m just frustrated with Julien’s dad. We’ve tried to meet him on a few occasions, and he keeps canceling at the last minute. I’m pissed. Not because he hasn’t been here, but because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to be. I know you’ve been itching to hop on a plane since I dropped the pregnancy bomb on you.”
They’d talked on the phone endlessly, and Mandy had Skyped with her mom after the baby was born so Angela could see Sophie. But it clearly hadn’t been enough.
“I know you didn’t mean anything by it, honey. It’s just…I feel like I’ve missed so much.” Mom’s voice held the weight of unshed tears, and Mandy felt another lance of guilt. She knew it was wrong to keep Angela away from Sophie, but she hadn’t seen a way around it short of moving back to New York. And she wasn’t ready for that yet. Maybe she never would be.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Angela smiled, but it was sad. Then she straightened her shoulders. “Well, enough of that. We’re here to celebrate, not mope. How far away is Julien’s dad?”
“About nine hours by train,” Mandy said.
“So…did Julien invite him and he declined, or what?” Layla asked.
Tyler’s new girlfriend was fucking pushy. Mandy tried to calm her jangled nerves. She didn’t like talking about Pierre. Disliked admitting to others he hated her. She’d never been hated before. Layla was planning this whole thing and letting them all stay at the hotel for free. Mandy couldn’t be angry with her. Layla had even offered to fly out Father Thomas from their church, but Mandy and Julien had paid for that. Since they’d already be legally married by the French government, it didn’t matter if an American performed the religious ceremony.
The shower shut off, so Mandy lowered her voice as she replied, “Julien didn’t want to invite him. He’s been close to his dad all his life, especially since his mom left, but when Pierre refused to come to our place for dinner or see us together as a couple, Julien told him off.” Even before the baby, or the proposal, Julien had been sure of their union. Sure that she was the woman he wanted. He’d picked her over his own father, the only family he really had. “I was able to convince him to invite Pierre, even after he canceled our last scheduled visit.”
Julien came strolling back into the room and sat beside Mandy on the couch. He stretched his arm along the back of it, and she found herself leaning into his touch. She wanted to defend him to Layla and Mom, but she didn’t dare. She knew he wouldn’t want their pity, and wouldn’t like that she’d been sharing secrets about his familial relationships. She rested her head on his shoulder.
“I can watch the baby this morning while you’re off doing girlie wedding things,” he said.
Mandy laughed, but she didn’t really feel it all the way inside. This should be the fun part. The easy part. She knew marriage was what she should want. Especially to a good man who was a terrific father and loved her. So why the hell did her heart jump into her throat every time the damned W word was mentioned?
* * * *
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Mom asked as soon as they were alone in the reception hall. Mandy sighed and glanced down, trying to avoid her mother’s gaze, but her mom’s lavender pantsuit danced before her eyes, and she knew it was useless.
“I’m just nervous. Cold feet, I suppose.” She exhaled forcefully and lifted her face to look at her mom.
“Don’t you lie to your mama, girl. You know better than that.” Mom moved closer, sitting beside Mandy at the table. Mandy tried to block out the reception hall around them. It was enormous. Way too large for the number of people coming to the ceremony. But Layla had assured her this was just being used for the planning stages and wouldn’t be the hall for the actual ceremony. It was slightly less terrifying to think of the wedding as a ceremony. Like graduation or something. It was just a freaking piece of paper.
The room they sat in was overflowing with options. Flowers, cakes, colors, ribbons, place settings for six or for eight, a sweetheart table or one for the whole wedding party, blue ribbons or lavender, chair covers or no chair covers. Mandy’s head spun with the overload. Wasn’t Layla supposed to have taken care of all this already?
She wanted to rip her hair out.
Mom stared, waiting for an answer, but Mandy didn’t have one. Mom took her hand and rubbed her fingers like she had when Mandy was a little girl.
Layla had finally stopped badgering her with questions. The woman’s excitement was palpable, zinging around them every time she opened her mouth. Any other time, Mandy would have appreciated such a personality. But now it just reminded her what a failure she was.
And since Layla was off talking with someone about something related to the ceremony, Mandy was left to deal with her mother’s hawk eyes.
“Tell me what’s going on. Please, honey.” Mom’s face softened, her mouth set in a reassuring smile, her dark brown eyes warm.
“I don’t know if I can do this.” The words slipped out before she could stop them. Barely a whisper, they rang through the room, and the ensuing silence threatened to strangle her.
“You said the same thing when the baby came,” Mom said. “And look what happened. You’re exhausted; anyone can see that. But it comes with the territory of being a new parent. You love that little girl with everything you have. I’ll be the first to admit I wasn’t too pleased you were seeing such a young kid, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you. The way he worries over his daughter. He’s a good man, honey.”
“I know.” She cleared her throat.
“Is it the wedding? Or Julien?”
Both, everything. Mandy clamped her mouth shut before she blurted out more. She didn’t need her mother to tell her what to do. She had to figure her life out on her own. If only she could disentangle everything. It was all just happening too fast. Julien was ready for marriage, for forever. And he wanted it for practical reasons too. If they wanted to go back to the States to visit, or if she was suddenly ready to move back there, being married would make a world of difference.
She needed to grow up, for Christ’s sake. How could he be so ready? Sometimes he acted so much older than her. He knew what he wanted and went for it. His mom had left him at such an early age, and yet he was ready to trust in love and leap into it. They’d been together just over a year, and she felt like she knew him. Felt like he knew her, maybe even better than she knew herself. She didn’t have any right not to trust him. Not to want to spend the rest of her life with him. But something made her hold back.
She’d seen the way her mom had walked around like a zombie after Dad had been convicted. Watched what could happen when your happiness hinged completely on someone else. Just because she’d been eight at the time didn’t mean she hadn’t been old enough to see the truth. Mom had been destroyed. Mandy vowed a long time ago not to let that happen to her. But she wasn’t going to bring up her father now. And she couldn’t admit that she di
dn’t want to become her mother. It was too cruel to say out loud.
“It’s the wedding,” she finally said. She’d always hated weddings. Simply because the wedding was hers didn’t seem to change her aversion to it.
Mom sagged in relief. “Well, that’s an easy fix. Layla said she’d take care of everything. And she will. We will. I guess she just figured you’d want at least some control over your own wedding.”
Mandy shook her head. No, the wedding wasn’t what she needed control of. She had to get herself under control first.
“Well, okay, then. Go upstairs, enjoy your fiancé, and leave the rest to us. I know you, and I know what you’ll like,” Mom said, just as Layla was heading back to the table.
“You were born sans the wedding gene, huh?” Layla said as she set a beautiful bouquet of light purple tulips and lavender on the table in front of her.
“Those. I like those,” Mandy said. And then her mind was filled with the image of her walking down the aisle in a bright white dress, clutching this bouquet. She almost forgot to breathe.
Chapter Eleven
Julien laughed. Watching his future brother-in-law bounce Sophie on his lap thrilled him. He hadn’t grown up with a brother the way Mandy had. At times, listening to her interact with him had caused Julien a pang of sadness. But knowing that this man would be his brother in just a few days made him happy. Tyler was as much a natural with kids as Mandy. Sophie would grow up with a loving extended family, even if Julien’s father seemed determined to keep Mandy and Sophie at a distance.
Julien sighed, refocusing his thoughts on now. He’d learned a long time ago that there were things in this world you couldn’t control, and he had to let Pierre make his own decisions. Though he’d defended his father to Mandy, he feared she might be right. She wasn’t French, and Julien was nearly the same age his father had been when Julien was born. The whole situation had to bring up memories of Julien’s mother. But Pierre’s resistance to getting to know Mandy would end. Tonight.
“So, Mandy never told me what happened after that kiss,” Tyler said, suddenly very serious.
Julien froze. What could he say to that? It wasn’t really any of Tyler’s business what had happened between him and Mandy after the Annabelle incident. But Julien imagined if he had a little sister, he might feel just as protective. He’d certainly feel the same if it were his daughter they were talking about, so he supposed he owed Tyler some kind of explanation.
Julien told Tyler about the kiss and the fact that he’d wanted no part of it, as well as Mandy’s forgiveness afterward, leaving out the details of just how he’d reassured Mandy of his commitment. Tyler probably wouldn’t appreciate knowing about his sister’s sex life.
“I don’t know, sweetie,” Tyler said, looking down at his niece. “Is your daddy telling the truth?”
Julien waited, unsure what to say.
Sophie cooed in her uncle’s arms, and Tyler smiled. “I guess we’ll have to believe you. Mandy does seem to have forgiven you, anyway.”
“Well, she did agree to marry me, after all.”
“Yeah, about that…How’d you trick her into that one? I mean, my little sister in a big white dress?” Tyler shook his head.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just, growing up, I never really expected her to settle down and get married. That’s all.”
“How come?” Julien couldn’t keep the curiosity to himself. He’d felt Mandy’s reservations from the start. But she seemed inclined to overcome them, and he was content to let her work out whatever cold feet she had. Now he wondered if that was the wrong approach.
“She really—” Tyler stopped as the door opened, revealing Julien’s bride-to-be.
“Hi, guys,” Mandy said, heading for her daughter.
She scooped Sophie into her arms and let out a relieved sigh, as if she couldn’t have waited another second to cuddle her daughter close. But Julien could see the hard lines in her neck holding tension. Would she never be able to relax again? He would have to help her chill, as she would say.
Tyler cleared his throat. “Hey, sis, you trying to suffocate that little girl or what?”
“Huh?” Mandy said, looking down at Tyler and loosening her grip on the baby.
“Besides, you’ve had five months with her. Give her a quick kiss, and then shoo. Mom and Layla are on wedding detail. I’m on doo-doo detail.”
Mandy laughed and kissed their daughter on the forehead, then handed her back over into Tyler’s waiting arms. “Besides, it’s good practice for me,” Ty said.
Mandy squealed, her eyes opening wide. “Layla’s prego?”
Tyler grinned. “Not yet. But we’re not actively preventing it.”
“Félicitations,” Julien congratulated Tyler, who nodded in response.
Julien stood and said a quick good night to his little girl and took Mandy’s hand. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?” she said.
Mere months before, Mandy would have followed him willingly without questioning their destination. What had changed so much since his proposal that made her hesitate? He didn’t know, but he knew that whatever issues she was having, he would help her work them out.
“Trust me,” he said, leading her from the two-bedroom Monet Suite Tyler, Layla, and Angela were sharing, and into the hall of the beautiful hotel. The walls, covered in cream-and-tan paisley paper, were warm around them, but he couldn’t shake the icy rock in his gut. He had to find a way to make it through to Mandy. He thought they’d had a breakthrough the night before, but now? She still seemed so distant, even though her slender fingers were twined with his.
Mandy wouldn’t have agreed to marry him if she wasn’t sure, right?
MANDY SWALLOWED THE lump in her throat, trying to calm herself. Her body felt too tight. Too confined. The walls around her closed in, trapping her as effectively as Julien’s hand around hers. God, she hated feeling like this. Hated herself even more for wanting to run away. It was wrong. Irresponsible. But she couldn’t quell her fears, no matter how irrational they were. She tried to breathe deeper around the ball closing off her airway, finally getting some oxygen into her lungs and brain.
“Should I change first?” she asked into the oppressive silence between them.
Julien shook his head. “No, ma belle, what you’re wearing is fine.”
Nowhere fancy, then. She was wearing a short sundress, definitely nothing suitable for a nice restaurant. Curiosity got the better of her, helping her push aside some of her fear and embrace the moment with Julien. He could help her live in the moment the way she’d never been able to before coming to Paris.
Julien traced small circles on the back of her hand, sending a pulse of arousal through her, and she forgot to be scared. Forgot the way her life was suffocating her. Forgot everything but what it was like to be loved by Julien Chevalier as he led her out of the hotel and through the streets of Paris for the next half hour.
By the time he tugged her through the doors of their favorite crêperie and the salty scent of French cheese caressed her nose, she’d let herself get completely wrapped up in him. So much so that she didn’t notice the man sitting at the table Julien headed for until they were right before it.
“Mandy, ma belle, je te présente mon père, Pierre. Papa, ma fiancée, Mandy.”
Shit. All her French deserted her as Mandy stared into the face of Julien’s father. He smiled, as charming and as French as his son, but his eyes were so guarded. So unlike those of his son that Mandy finally snapped back to reality.
“Bonsoir,” she greeted him, kissing him quickly first on the right cheek, then the left.
“Enchanté,” he said, his Parisian accent heavy and tinged with the southern lilt from Carcassonne.
“Please, join me.” Pierre waved his hand before him.
Still trying to shake off the shock, Mandy let Julien pull out her chair, and she sank into it with a soft thud. After so many attempts to meet Julien’s dad, she
had no idea what to do now that she was actually sitting face-to-face with him. She pursed her lips. Julien should have let her change. She didn’t hate surprises, necessarily, but meeting one’s future in-laws required a certain amount of preparation, and she hadn’t received any warning.
Mandy did her best not to glare at Julien as he slid into the seat beside hers. No wonder he’d brought her to the Caramel Crêperie. He was trying to soften the blow of meeting his father. She scoured her brain for something to say, anything to start a conversation, but she felt as if her mouth were filled with peanut butter, her throat closing more with each second.
“So, you teach?” Pierre asked.
“Oui,” she responded in French out of habit. The restaurant around her buzzed with the murmurs of the softer language, easing her into the switch, even though Pierre had posed the question in English. “It’s been wonderful. I’ve been out the past few months with the baby, but I’ll return in September with the start of the school year.”
Pierre nodded. “And that’s when Julien will be finished with his studies, non?”
“Oui, Papa,” Julien spoke for the first time since introducing them. A look passed between father and son that she didn’t quite understand, but Pierre sighed and raised the menu before him, glancing down at the list of wines. It would be some time before the waiter arrived to take their drink orders, and Mandy had never wished so hard for the rushed service in an American restaurant. How would she make it through the next two hours with a man who wanted absolutely nothing to do with her?
Chapter Twelve
Julien took Mandy’s hand where it lay on the table and held his breath as his father’s gaze zeroed in on them. Once Mandy had convinced him to invite Pierre, Julien had practically begged his dad to come all the way to Paris to meet Mandy, and to be there for the wedding. Julien understood his dad’s reservations, but he’d also been sure that once Pierre actually saw how happy they were, he would have no choice but to put those reservations aside and wish them well.
Marietta Hotels 2: An Engagement in Paris Page 6
