by Lisa Shelby
“Duly noted,” I say as I put the money for our ice cream down on top of the check that Marcie has left for us. I can see Emily start to get into her purse but I just hold my index finger up and wiggle it back and forth and say, “Shush,” as she starts to protest. I know she doesn’t date and I just shake my head from side to side as she tries to open her mouth to complain. Shockingly, it works and she puts her purse down.
While we casually walk down the street on our way to the pier, I force myself to walk with my hands in my shorts pockets. The urge to reach out and hold her hand while we walk is almost too much to resist. I know it will make her feel uncomfortable though and that’s the last thing I want. Her hands are busy texting Cami to let her know what the new plan is.
“So, Jonathan, do you often take girls out for ice cream and a walk on the San Clemente Pier on Saturday nights?” She asks nonchalantly as she puts her phone back in her purse.
“Actually, no I don’t, but I’m having a pretty great night so far. Maybe I’ve been missing out?”
“Me too,” she says with a little giggle.
“What, you don’t do walks and ice cream dates often? I would think you would have Jacob and all those college boys keeping your calendar pretty full.”
As much as I don’t want to admit it, I really asked that question because I wanted to know if there is somebody else. Just the thought of her going out with other guys makes me a little sick to my stomach—and it’s not because I had too much gross chocolate shake.
“Like I said, I don’t really date,” she says as she puts her head down and sounds as though she just lost her puppy.
Trying to lift her mood I say, “Ah, that’s right. That’s why tonight is not a date. Just two new friends getting to know each other. I mean if the one new friend with the ponytail wanted more with the new friend without the ponytail I’m sure that could be arranged, but until ponytail friend wants that, new friends it is.”
“And what if the friend with the ponytail isn’t sure that she’ll ever be ready for that?”
“Then friends it is,” I say with a shrug and a smile but inside I’m hoping we become more than friends. Although, I’m drawn to her regardless and have a feeling that if being her friend meant being around her every day then being her friend would be fine with me. That’s a lie. It would suck. But I would take it if that is all I could get.
As we pass Fishermans Restaurant we start our walk on the pier and I notice she’s playing with her necklace again. It may be dark outside but the lights that guide our walk to the end of the pier shine bright enough that Emily and her necklace are perfectly clear to see.
“I like your necklace. What is it? A dragonfly?”
“It is. My brother got me this on my eighteenth birthday. I kinda have a thing for dragonflies.”
“Oh yeah? What is it that makes them special to you?”
She touches my arm and says, “Hold that thought.”
She walks away towards an older gentleman with his hands full of fishing gear who seems to be struggling to put on his jacket.
“Here you go sir, let me help you with your coat,” she says standing behind him. She holds his coat open to him so he can easily slip one arm at a time inside while holding his fishing gear in the other. It’s clear he wants to keep a hold of that rod and reel.
“It’s a beautiful evening, isn’t it?” she asks while he takes his time getting into his coat.
“It sure is little lady. Thanks for helpin’ an old man out. I sure do appreciate it.”
“It was my pleasure, sir. You have a nice night,” she says with that smile that lights up the night and a small wave.
“You too, my dear,” he says as he takes his thumb and forefinger and grips the tip of his hat and gives a little bow of his head.
She joins me in the same spot that she left me. The spot where I watched more of her magic take place and she asks, “Sorry about that, what were we talking about?”
Yep, she is something else. I mean who does that? Well, apparently, she does. The urge I have to grab her and kiss her is so powerful that I have to distract myself and just keep us walking.
“Dragonflies,” I remind her.
“Oh, yeah. Well, it started when I was little and my mom got me this great purple bedding and the comforter had dragonflies on it. I fell in love with them and started finding any little thing I could to decorate my room with them. It tapered off as I got older but when I got into high school I stumbled upon this website that explained all of the different meanings of the dragonfly and it made total sense that I had loved them so much. One of the reasons was that because their lives were short, they lived life to the fullest and that means they symbolize living without regrets. Another reason is that they represent change and self-awareness. At the time things at home weren’t great and it really stuck with me.” She says with a little shrug of her shoulder.
“So, do you live life to the fullest?” I ask her as we reach the end of the pier and lean on the rail and out over the dark ocean.
“I try to but don’t always succeed. Cami does her best to help make sure I do though. She helps me step out of my box and do things I might not do otherwise. Like this vacation. It’s the last thing I wanted to do but Cami made me realize that I deserved it, and I needed to have just this one last week to enjoy myself before the reality that is life sets in.”
“Well, I will have to be sure to thank Cami for getting you here the next time I see her,” I say with complete sincerity while holding her gaze.
It may be dark outside but thanks again to the overhead lights on the pier, I can still see the blush creeping back to her beautiful face. The rush I get knowing that I can bring that blush to her is addictive, and something I’m afraid I could get used to quite easily. Hell, if I admit it to myself I’m already becoming an addict and I just met her today.
She continues to stare at me and just as I start to think about leaning in for a kiss she says, “Let’s walk down to the beach.” Without waiting for me to reply she turns and starts walking.
The walk back down the pier is slow, casual and quiet, but comfortable. It should feel awkward but it doesn’t. It’s obvious we both have things going through our minds at that moment and we need some time to figure out what happens or doesn’t happen next.
We reach the beach and Emily plops down on the sand. She slips her shoes off, buries her hands in the sand behind her, stretches her face to the stars and closes her eyes while taking in a big breath. I wait for her to say something, but she never does.
I look out at the rolling waves ahead of us to force myself to stop staring at her and her long, slender neck that is begging for me to kiss it, when I notice something on her foot. Its dark out here but I am pretty sure it’s a tattoo.
“Is that a tattoo?” I ask.
She lifts her head to see what I am referring to and says, “It is. It’s just a little shamrock.”
Of all things her tattoo is a shamrock, what are the odds?
“Does it mean something?” I just have to know.
“My Granny Grace was Irish. In fact, her maiden name was Ireland. So, when I turned 18 my brother and I went and got shamrock tattoos. His is much bigger and on his arm but after I saw how much it hurt my big, tough brother I decided a little one would be enough for me.”
“It’s cool.”
“Thanks, I kinda love all things Irish,” she informs me. I try not to let out the huge laugh I am holding back. Oh God, if she only knew what she was saying.
“What?” she says as she smacks me on the arm. “Dragonflies, all things Irish and Justin Timberlake, those are my things. Got a problem with it?”
Now the laugh I was holding in comes barreling out of me as I throw my head back and bellow with laughter.
“No problem at all, Emily. You are just adorable, you know that?”
“You’re laughing at me, you jerk!” She smacks my arm again but this time she seems to be giggling as well. “What’s so funny?”<
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“I just wasn’t expecting Justin Timberlake to be thrown in there. Sorry, it really wasn’t funny, it just got to me for some reason. I promise I’m not making fun of you.”
“Good, because I am serious about JT. If you did make fun of him, I would be out of here and this new friendship would be terminated,” she says with such meaning that I get the feeling she isn’t joking.
“JT’s cool . . . friendship still intact.” I say as I pretend to wipe my brow with relief.
I turn to look at her and she just sticks her tongue out at me and I can’t help the laughter that comes rolling out of me again. She. Is. Fucking. Adorable.
As the sun slowly begins to rise in the East, the realization that the two of us have been sitting here in the sand and swinging on the beach swings for hours, talking about everything and nothing at the same time hits me. I have spent all night with this amazing, intelligent, beautiful woman and I haven’t even kissed her. And I’m fine with that. Tonight was perfect and I hate that I know it has to end.
“Well, I think the sun is our cue to head back. Let me walk you to your hotel?” I ask as I stand up and hold out my hand to help her up.
“That’s probably a good plan,” she says as she takes my hand and stands up. And there it is; that connection. It’s not like anything I’ve ever felt before and she just stares at me for a brief moment because she feels it too. She seems to catch herself, lets go of my hand and pretends to wipe the sand off of the back of her dress.
Not much is said on the short walk back but as we near her hotel I say, “I’d really like to see you again.”
I can sense her hesitation and would hate to end the night with her shutting me down so I say, “Talk to Cami and the girls and I’ll talk to the guys and we’ll meet up later today. Cami has my number so just let me know where you want to meet after you get some sleep.”
She starts to walk into the hotel lobby but turns around and says, “I had a great time tonight, Jonathan. Thank you.”
“See you in a few hours, Gracie.”
Give Me A Try
Emily
After slinking into our suite—feeling as though I’ve just spent a wild night of debauchery and am doing the walk of shame—I manage to sneak into the hotel room and then quietly into our bathroom.
I’m exhausted and know that I’ll never get to sleep if I wake Cami up. She’ll want to hear all about my night and besides needing to get some sleep, I just don’t want to share it. It was perfect and I don’t want to analyze it to death and ruin it. Cami might be right after all . . . maybe I do deserve this week, and maybe this week should be spent with him. I just know that it’s wrong and if he knew about my life and the mess I have to contend with he would run as far away from me as possible. I’m not sure Afghanistan would be far enough.
After changing, washing my face and brushing my teeth I’m just slipping into bed when Cami mumbles from deep beneath the covers, “We are so talking about this when we get up.” With that she rolls over and goes back to sleep. Well, at least I’ve delayed the inevitable, for now.
I’m not sure I’ll ever fall asleep. I’m filled with despair yet am giddy with happiness all at the same time. When I close my eyes to fall asleep I keep seeing him with his hands in his pockets walking backwards away from me and hearing him say, “See you in a few hours, Gracie.”
Gracie, he called me Gracie. I feel like it should bother me. It was such a special thing between my grandparents, but when he said it, I felt a warmth flood inside me that touched a part of my soul that I didn’t even know existed. I haven’t even kissed him and I feel completely connected to him. I can’t even imagine what a kiss would do to me if his words alone do this kind of damage to the wall I thought I had built up around my heart.
I feel myself drifting off to sleep with the silliest of grins on my face. No more despair for now, I’m only letting the happy in. I’ll deal with the rest next week. It’s with that thought and his beautiful face in my mind that I finally fall asleep.
I jerk up in bed as the covers are pulled off of my warm, content body.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I yell at Cami.
“It’s noon, Em. Time to get up, Buttercup.”
“Ugh!” I say as I lay back down and attempt to pull the covers back over myself.
“Oh, no you don’t, Em. You are going to wake up and tell me all about your night. I already went and got you coffee. I’ve got Ales here on speaker phone.”
“Morning, Em!” Alex’s voice chirps from Cami’s phone.
“So sit up, take a few sips, and start talkin’ girlfriend!”
With the promise of coffee, I reluctantly sit up in bed, and think about what to tell Cami and Alex about my perfect night. What do I say? That I met an amazing guy who is beautiful, funny, kind, respectful and I feel like I have known him my entire life?
Just drink your coffee Emily. You can do this. I tell myself.
After taking a couple of drinks of coffee, with Cami staring at me the entire time, I take a deep breath. “Oh, you guys what the hell am I going to do?”
“Well, you could start at the beginning and tell us about your night and then we’ll go from there.”
“It’s just us, Em. No judging,” Alex says encouragingly.
“Alex, there isn’t really anything to judge. Nothing happened. He didn’t even try to kiss me.”
“Wait, you come strolling in here at seven in the morning like a whore just getting off the night shift and he didn’t even kiss you? What’s wrong with him?”
Leave it to Cami to lighten the mood by insinuating I’m a whore. I love these two girls and have no clue what I would I do without them. Just having Cami here and Alex giggling on the phone is enough to get me talking.
“It was perfect. We went for ice cream, we walked along the pier and then we just hung out on the beach and talked for hours. I feel like I’ve known him forever. It was so easy and comfortable.”
“What did you talk about?” Cami asks.
“Well, if you are asking what I think you are, no, I didn’t tell him that. But we talked about our favorite music, food, our bucket lists, my grandparents. He told me about losing his dad when he was five and how his mother is the most important person in his life and that it’s just been the two of them all these years.”
While telling them all the things we talked about I think back to sitting on the beach listening to him talk about his mom. It was beautiful. I know all about mama’s boys, since I do have a brother, but this was different. He and his mom seem really close. I remember him saying, “I love my friends and my brothers in the Marine Corps. I would give my life for any of them but my mom is truly my best friend. She’s always there and she never judges me. I can tell her anything and I know that her love is unconditional and will always be there. She’s my rock, Emily. It may make me sound soft but I just don’t care. She is the greatest woman I know and I am so glad I got to spend last week with her before I head out to Afghanistan.” He drops his head down to his knees, that are pulled up tight to his core with his arms. “I feel so guilty leaving her sometimes. I know she wants the best for me, and most importantly for me to be happy but I still feel horrible leaving her. For some reason this time more than before. I just know that she’s all the reason I need to make sure I make it home safe and sound.”
Cami’s voice pulls me back to the present.
“Em, I’m so happy for you. He sounds really great and if his friends are any indication, he truly is a nice guy.”
“He is and that’s why this is so wrong. It isn’t fair of me to spend time with him and not let him know everything. Don’t you think?”
“Em, you don’t have to tell him anything that you don’t want to tell him. We’re only here for a week and he’s leaving to go away to war for nine months. I think you both deserve a week of fun and who knows what else,” Alex says while Cami nods her head in agreement.
“He did say he wants to see me again today,” I say as a
grin overtakes my entire face and I roll over and bury my blush in my pillow.
“Well, that’s good since we already have plans to meet up with the guys in an hour. So you better get that skinny little ass of yours out of this bed and into the shower!” With that she jumps out of the bed, rips the covers back off of me and runs through the door to the living room of our suite. I can hear Alex yelling to me to have fun through the phone.
“Shit!” I whisper to myself, not sure if it is because I know I shouldn’t take this any further or because I have less than an hour to get ready. I think it’s the latter because just the thought of him and those butterflies are back. I feel like a giddy little school girl.
We’re back at Ole’s again today but this time we’re hanging in the back where the pool tables are. Sam and I are beating the pants off Steph and Cami in the longest game of pool in the history of the game. None of us are any good at this game and we talk in between turns so often we may never finish it.
“So, you are seriously going to stick with your story that nothing happened last night with Jonathan?” Steph says as we lean back against the end of the bar.
“There isn’t anything to tell, Steph. We just talked all night and he was a perfect gentleman. Sorry to disappoint.” I say as I bump her shoulder with mine.
“Hmmm . . .”
“Did you guys have fun without me last night?” I ask.
“We did. We had a blast and ended up dancing all night long,” Steph reports.
With her usual sass Cami adds. “Sam, had a lot of fun, didn’t you Sam?”
