by Lisa Shelby
“This has really been the best time of my life you guys. I can’t believe it’s almost over.” I can’t help but watch him from across the bar and I feel my eyes start to gloss over with tears.
Cami snaps her fingers in front of my face to get my attention and then grabs my hands and looks me in the eye with all the love of a best friend and a sister.
“Em no, it’s not here yet. You still have a couple of days. No tears. We’re all here to have some fun tonight! Now, tell us what fun and frivolous activities you and that hunky Marine have been up to, and I don’t mean in the bedroom.”
“You’re right, Cam. Thank you,” I say as I shake my head and pull myself together.
“Come on woman, share. You know the three of us bitches are jealous as hell, so start talking!” Steph exclaims.
I look at my friends and feel so fortunate to have them to lean on and support me when things are up or down. Instead of being pissy like so many girlfriends would be, they aren’t mad at all that I ditched them and have spent almost every moment of our ‘girls trip’ with Jonathan. My world outside my Jonathan bubble may suck, but as long as I have these girls with me I know I can get through it. At least I sure hope I can.
“First, I have something to say. You, what was it you said Steph, oh yes . . . bitches, look fan-freaking-tastic! This week has been good to ya’ll.”
Steph says thanks but looks at the other girls with a strange look on her face.
“Emily, sweetie,” Sam says. “Did you just say ya’ll?”
“What? Did I? No, I don’t think I did. Did I?”
“Oh girl, that boy is rubbing off on you. You’re going to turn into a southern belle before you know it!” Cami says as she tries her hand at her own southern belle accent.
“Anyway . . . let’s see. What shenanigans have Jonathan and I been up to? Well, the little cottage we’re staying at is right on the beach and it has this adorable little covered patio and chairs and umbrellas out on the beach. We didn’t really spend too much time there the first few days because we were off exploring. Wednesday we went to Disneyland! Can you believe I had never been before?”
“Ah, how sweet, he got to take you for your first time. That is so romantic, Em.” Sam swoons.
“I know, right? It was so much fun! On Thursday we went to Universal Studios and then made a fire on the beach and made s’mores!”
And danced in the dark . . .
I can hear the giddiness and the excitement in my voice and my friends must think I have lost my mind, but I can’t help it! Every day has been better than the last.
“Friday we stayed around our place.”
Did I just say ‘our’ place? Yikes.
“He went for a run and I read my new Outlander book. Yes, he bought me the new Outlander! Last weekend, when we were walking past some stores, I mentioned that I couldn’t wait to read that book and he remembered and had it waiting for me at the cottage on Tuesday. He’s always doing things like that. I have to be careful what I say I like or want because he’ll have it waiting for me the next time I turn around.” I huff.
“Wow, that sounds just terrible, Em,” Cami says with her usual sarcastic snark.
“No, it doesn’t, Em. Just ignore her. It sounds awesome. Now keep going!” Sam, always the romantic, prodding me along.
“Thanks, Sam. I appreciate you having my back.” I say with my own sarcastic sass to Cami and we both giggle at each other.
“Love you, chica,” Cami says as she blows me a kiss.
“Love you too. Okay, so let’s see where were we?”
“Friday!” Sam and Steph yell at the same time.
“Oh yes, Friday! So we stayed around our place and just chilled and then he tells me we have reservations for dinner but it’s a surprise and for me to get dressed. So, of course I dress up a little bit and wear something a bit on the sexier side of things. For me it was sexy anyway. Where did he take me you ask? Medieval Freaking Times!”
“No way, how was that?” Cami asks as she laughs her ass off.
“You know, at first I felt out of place in my short little dress and heels around all of those kids, but once the show started I was so into it that I didn’t even think about it. Both of us were wearing our crowns, cheering and banging our cups on the table. I am telling you, we were more into it then half the kids there. It was so much fun! Then today, we took Scarlett out for a drive and then chilled out at the cottage for a while before we headed here.”
I feel the tears coming on as Cami grabs my right hand and Steph my left.
“I don’t want it to end you guys. Why is this happening now? Why did I let myself get emotionally invested? I know it’s been fast, but it’s real and I don’t want real. I don’t need a man. I can do life on my own. I know I can. The problem is now I don’t want to.”
Just as the first tear starts to fall down my cheek, I hear a familiar and very sexy voice on the karaoke mic. I look across the bar and for some reason I see Jonathan, Matt and Devon on the stage.
“What the . . . ?” I say dumbfounded
“Ladies and Gentleman, I want to apologize in advance for what’s about to take place, but there is a special lady out there that loves JT more than anything and so this is dedicated to her.” He finds my eyes from the stage and says, “Hope you like it, baby.”
And . . . swoon . . .
“You weren’t kidding, Em,” Cami says as she wags her finger between Jonathan on the stage and me sitting here with her, “this thing between the two of you is real. I don’t just see it in both of your eyes, I can feel it when you look at each other. Shit.”
“Told you, chica. I am so screwed!”
A second later the music to Sexy Back begins and what happens on that stage is nothing short of astonishing.
At first I just sit there with my mouth hanging open as Jonathan starts shaking his ass to the music. Even though I know this is meant to be funny, that man can shake his ass! He’s revealing skills that I didn’t know he had. He may be up there dressed in his simple gray t-shirt, cargo shorts and flip flops, but he dances like he’s one of those Australian strippers in Vegas. To tell you the truth, I’m shocked that his shirt is still on with the moves he’s busting up on that stage.
When the singing starts, Jonathan is playing the role of JT, Devon the role of Timberland and Matt all other backing vocals. Thank God he’s not a great singer because that would have just been too much to take. At least his poor singing skills balances out his fuck-worthy dancing abilities.
He’s strutting—as much as he can on the tiny little stage—but he never takes his eyes off me unless it’s to look at the guys as they perform. Even though there are women of all ages standing right up in front of him screaming and whistling, he doesn’t seem to notice any of them.
He gets to the chorus again and when he sings the line about letting me whip him if he misbehaves, he turns and sticks his ass out and sings the line over his shoulder at me. I am laughing so hard there is a new kind of tears streaming down my face. Matt may be shy and reserved, but both he and Devon are working it up there just like my Georgia. What is going on? This is too crazy for words but in the best possible way!
“How many shots did they do while they were over there playing pool?” Cami shouts in my ear.
“I was wondering the same thing. This is mind-blowing!” I say laughing and wiping more tears from my eyes with my drink napkin.
“Girl, he’s got it bad if he’s up for public humiliation like this. And let me tell ya, seeing the way he moves, it’s no wonder you’ve got it bad too! Woman, if he moves like that up there I can only imagine what he’s like in bed. You must be having the best vacation ever!” Cami shouts over the music and God-awful singing—if you can even call it that.
“You have no idea,” I reply lifting my hand up for a much deserved high five. We’re laughing so hard though that we miss and that just makes us laugh even harder.
Bringing my attention back to the little stage, that ha
s the man who has torn down my walls and made me feel things I never thought I wanted to feel, I have a brief moment of sadness hit me like a hammer as I realize I have to let him go in two days.
I don’t get to wallow in my sadness for long as Jonathan beckons me from the stage with his finger. As I reach the tiny stage he takes a small hop down, takes my hand and pulls me into him only to push me back out. My short flowing summer dress twirls up and out and I shriek as I use my free hand to avoid exposing too much of myself.
He twirls me back to him and instantly his big hands cup my face and I am given the best kiss I have ever received—and that’s saying a lot after all the kisses this man has given me. I always think no kiss can be better than the one he’s giving me in the moment and then he gives me another one like this. He holds my face while I latch onto his wrist not wanting to ever let go. When the hoots and hollers start he stops the kiss and rests his forehead against mine and says, “Oh the things you make me do, Gracie.”
“I didn’t make you do anything but I sure did like it. Babe, you’ve got some moves! I have got to tell you, that was the silliest but sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me,” I say as I grab his fine ass while pulling myself back in for one more little kiss. “Honestly with those moves, I’m surprised you didn’t come off that stage with dollar bills and phone numbers shoved down your pants. Glad you didn’t though . . . I don’t want to have to cut a bitch up in this place.”
He throws his head back as his sexy as sin laugh envelopes me. God, I love his laugh!
As he brings his face back to mine, still laughing he says, “God, I love you!”
I feel my heart stop and hold my breath as my eyes bulge out of my head. I watch the realization of what he just said hit him.
“Shit! Em, do not freak out!” He says as he pulls me off to the side. Once we’re up against the wall he turns my back to it and starts rubbing my arms up and down to try to calm me. “Babe, I know you don’t want love and I don’t expect it back. It just came out. You make me so fucking happy and I feel so fucking free and able to be myself when I’m with you that I just say whatever comes to mind because I know I can.”
Not knowing how I want him to answer me I take the risk and I ask him. “So, you didn’t mean it then?”
“Hell yes I meant it! How could I not have fallen in love with you? You are everything, Em. I started falling the first moment those beautiful blue eyes of yours crashed into me at Ole’s. I didn’t have a choice in the matter. I know it’s not what you want and that love isn’t in the cards for you, or at least you don’t think it is, but it’s not something I can control. I really wish you would tell me why you can’t give us a chance. You know you can tell me anything . . . anything at all. I won’t push you because I promised from the start that I understood not to expect anything and that I only had until Monday. But baby, please know whatever you tell me won’t change how I feel about you.”
He’s right. I know that I can tell him anything because I have told him everything, well almost everything. Over the past few days we’ve stayed up talking for hours in between the greatest sex of my life. I’ve told him everything about my dad, the badge bunnies, his new family. My broken heart and how I feel about relationships. I’ve told him every story I can think of about my childhood growing up with Cami, Alex and my brother. But I’m still holding back.
I’ve been so sure this entire time that I wasn’t going to continue this after Monday that I have purposely not given him my last name or my phone number. I’ve known from the start that this would hurt when it was over and I didn’t want him to be able to reach out to me and make it that much harder. Now, he loves me and the truth is I am completely in love with him too. I don’t know how it happened or how it happened so fast, but it freaking happened.
“You love me?” I say quietly but loud enough that he can hear me over the karaoke version of Summer of ’69 that is being brutalized in the background.
“More than I ever thought I could love another person, Gracie,” he says and brings one hand up to lightly rub his thumb over my cheek. “I’m sure to everybody else it’s crazy and fast and I know I’m leaving for nine months and I know you don’t want this, but I can’t help it. I’m in love with you, Emily Grace.”
What do I do in this awful situation? If I tell him I’m in love with him too it will only hurt him more when I don’t try to make this work. If I lie and say I don’t love him that will hurt him too. I just stand there in silence looking down at the ground.
“Shhh . . . I can hear those wheels turning in your mind. Let’s just go back to our friends and have some fun. I didn’t mean to ruin anything, sweetheart. Please don’t let me scare you off or ruin our evening.”
I can’t help it. He’s so endearing and I hate him thinking he has done anything wrong. I stand on my tip toes and whisper in his ear, “You didn’t ruin anything, Georgia. I’m in love with you too. It doesn’t change how this will end, but I love you too, baby.”
As I say the words into his ear his warm, strong arms slowly come around me until I’m engulfed in his embrace and he has lifted me off the ground.
“You have made me the fucking happiest guy on the planet on one hand and are killing me on the other. I am going to choose to focus on the happy right now and we’ll deal with the rest later,” he says putting me on my feet.
“Jonathan . . .”
“No, we will talk about this later. You don’t get to take the woman I love away from me without a conversation, but like I said, that is for another time and not standing here in Knuckleheads listening to bad karaoke.”
With that he takes my hand and leads me back to our friends.
“PDX how did you like our little performance?” Devon asks when we join them at the bar.
Forcing myself out of my head and into the moment, I walk up to Devon with my hand up high and he gives me the high five I am looking for; and Matt does the same after.
“You guys killed it! I was telling Jonathan that I never knew you all had such mad skills.”
I feel Jonathan come up behind me as he wraps his arms around my waist, leans down and rests his chin on my shoulder and says, “Oh you knew I had those skills baby. I think we move together pretty well, don’t you?”
Even though I know nobody else can hear him because it was said into my ear I feel myself turning red. Matt and Devon just look at each other and shake their heads. Trying to move on, I change the subject.
“So Matt, how was your visit with the family? It was so nice of you to let Jonathan borrow Scarlett while they were here.”
“Hey, no problem Emily. Just hearing you call her by her name lets me know that she’s been in good hands,” he says on a wink. “It was a good visit though. My parents and my little brother Danny and I are all really tight so it’s hard to see them go, but nine months really isn’t that long and then we’re pretty much done. Just a couple months back here on base and then home for good. Oh and my parents left me their rental so you and J can keep Scarlett until Monday.”
“That’s so sweet, thanks for letting Jonathan borrow her, but only if you’re sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. J is my brother, what’s mine is his. J and D are both family and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for either of them. I think I just proved that up there on that stage but seriously, seeing how happy you’ve made him . . . it’s worth driving a Ford Focus a couple more days.”
“Let’s be honest, I make Scarlett look good dude,” Jonathan says as he walks over and gives Matt one of those dude handshakes that they bring in for a man hug. “Thanks again, Shell. I really appreciate it.”
“Who needs a drink?” Sam yells.
Everybody yells out their orders, but the guys insist on buying and head to the other end of the bar to fill them. Jonathan doesn’t leave me without a lingering kiss and a smack to the ass though.
“Start talking little lady! That performance on and off the stage was pretty amazing, and then you guys seeme
d to be talking pretty serious pretty fast. How did you go from JT, to making out in front of the whole bar, to what seemed like laughter and then some hard core serious faces?” Cami asks.
“You guys, this is getting worse by the minute.”
“Why do you say that sweetie,” Steph asks, rubbing my back.
I feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I look at Steph and Sam but when I look at Cami I just lose it.
“He told me he loved me and that he is in love with me. This is just a shit show,” I say as tears stream down my face.
“Oh Em, that’s so great. Fast, but great. Why is this such a bad thing?” Steph asks while pulling me into her side to comfort me.
I glance at Cami because she’s the only person here who knows what’s going on with me. She promised not to say anything and I know she hasn’t. I can’t tell them what’s going on when I don’t even know for sure myself. Everything is a mess and I haven’t had the time or want to deal with it this week.
Before I get a chance to answer the guys are already on their way back.
“Crap, I don’t want him to see me crying.”
“Girls, keep them busy but don’t say anything. I’m gonna run Em to the bathroom so she can clean up.”
Cami grabs my hand and pulls me to the back of the bar and down the short hall and into the women’s bathroom. I am not sure how we luck out but we do and the room is empty. Cami locks the door, hands me some paper towels from the dispenser and then looks at me the way only Cami can.
“He loves you, chica?”
I answer by sobbing and nodding my head up and down.
“Oh honey, the question is do you love him?”
More sobbing, joined by a runny nose and a cold sweat covering my body as I choke out the words, “So much.”
I hear her gasp and then a smile spreads across her face and she pulls me into a hug.
“Why are you so upset? This is epic! I am so happy for you! Why aren’t you happy? And don’t tell me it’s because you don’t do relationships. Is it because of . . . well . . . you know?”
