by Jo Leigh
But that didn’t explain how she’d felt when he’d kissed her. It was... No. She didn’t want to think too much about it. Or the dancing, which had been like a scene from a romantic comedy.
Someone else’s romance.
But it was the kissing that made her head spin. The last time she’d kissed anyone but Payton was almost five years ago.
No. She stopped herself again. Put on the brakes. Thinking was simply out of the question. It would only bring more tears, which hadn’t helped thus far. And wouldn’t be fair to Rick. He was being a sweetheart while still managing to look like Danger Bond.
His concern for her wasn’t just because he was a nice guy. Clearly, taking care of her helped him avoid thinking about Faith and that diamond ring in his pocket. Not that she didn’t appreciate his kindness, but they were both running as fast as they could to outpace the midnight that had come and gone.
“Isn’t it late for a party?” she asked, glancing around the stunning lobby, tastefully decorated with white lights, red and white poinsettias and a Christmas tree that had to be fifteen feet tall. “Won’t it be over?”
“Nope. They’ll keep refreshing the buffet all night, until around five in the morning, when they’ll bring out breakfast.”
“I like this hotel,” she said, trying for a more cheery disposition. “If breakfast includes waffles, I’m not leaving.”
Rick led her straight to the elevator and two things popped into her head. Despite the unusual circumstance, he was still a stranger. And here she was blithely following his lead...to his room, for all she knew.
They stepped into a waiting car and as the door slid closed she asked, “Are you staying here?”
Rick smiled. “Nope. There really is a party.”
“Oh, good.” She stared at the flashing red numbers as they passed each floor. “Are we crashing it?”
“Is that a problem?” he asked, humor in his eyes.
Any other night? Yes. Tonight? Jenna shook her head. “None whatsoever.”
With a wicked grin he leaned over, and she held her breath, certain he was about to kiss her. But the elevator stopped and as the door opened he straightened, leaving her breathless and disappointed. Why? It wasn’t like her. Everything from midnight on wasn’t her.
Sure, Rick was attractive. The second she and Mindy had seen him they’d both reverted to dreamy-eyed teens.
Thinking back to those lascivious jokes about Rick had her blushing as they walked toward the banquet room. Of course neither she nor her silliness had caused the night’s events to unfold but how weird was it that things had ended up like this? “You okay?” he asked, and there was his arm again, around her shoulders, steadying her.
She nodded, finally accepting that nothing would feel like her regular life in the foreseeable future. It would either be too wonderful to be real, or a punch to the gut when she thought about Payton.
She wished she could be more like Rick. He was hurting, too, only he didn’t appear to be dwelling on it.
He seemed to know exactly where the party was so maybe they weren’t crashers at all. Alone for a minute while he checked their coats, her gaze swept the room as she hoped to see a banner or anything that would tell her who was hosting the party. And there it was, a banner made of rectangles, most of them dark gray, and the lowercase i in cardinal red.
Rick’s alma mater. The suite was much larger than the Boston U room. And way more extravagant. The buffet was still stocked over an hour past midnight, and there were three bar stations, all staffed, none of them with horrible lines.
“Drink?” Rick asked. “Food?”
“Drink first,” she said. “I need to be a little fuzzier than I am right now.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Everything feels off for me, too. Like when you’re in a car accident. Or a tornado.”
“Yes.” she said, sighing, though the tornado reference did make her smile a little. “Of course you get it...you should have been engaged right now, and I’ve hardly been there for you.”
He shook his head. “Don’t worry about me. Maybe I’ll be loaded with regret tomorrow, but tonight I’m thinking I dodged a bullet.”
“Really?” How could that be possible? A man didn’t bring an engagement ring to a party without caring about the outcome. Or maybe men did. What did she know? She’d thought she’d never have to worry about Payton’s commitment to her. Then again, she wasn’t exactly a beacon of purity in this debacle. Kissing Rick the first time was forgivable, but all the kissing since? Wanting him to kiss her? If there could be any reconciliation at the end of this...thing, she’d have to own up to her own behavior, although she never would have been with Rick at all if Payton hadn’t—
She forced herself to breathe, to blink away any tears. “Still,” she said, “I’m very sorry. I hope there aren’t too many regrets.”
“I don’t think it’ll be too bad, although I’ve got a hell of a lot of questions.”
She nodded as she realized they were already in line for drinks but she had no recollection of walking there. “Payton isn’t... He’s this steady man. He’s always where he’s supposed to be. Doesn’t drink, except on special occasions, doesn’t gamble, doesn’t get high. He’s a goddamn rock. Reliable in every way. Always where... Oh, I said that already. But honestly, he’s the one I’d call if something like tonight happened to me.”
Rick studied her for a long moment. “I’m not like him. Not that you couldn’t call me to help out in a jam. But when I’m not working I’m most definitely not a rock. In fact, I climb them. I chase tornadoes and skydive, too. On the plus side, I try to be where I’m expected, I’m not much of a drinker, with the obvious exception of New Year’s Eve. And you should probably know that punching Payton is still really high on my bucket list.”
Jenna knew he was kidding, but if the circumstances called for a punch, she had no doubt he could pull it off, which was not just cool, but sexy as hell.
Yet another reminder that this was not her life.
4
IN BETWEEN SPOTTING Rick at the BU party and actually meeting him, Jenna’s imagination had gone wild. Now that she’d spent time with him, it was clear she hadn’t given him enough credit. He most definitely was a steely-eyed badass. But he’d also made her laugh, made her smile. Been there for her.
“Forget him,” she said. “Forget Faith. What are we drinking?”
“Usually, I’m good for a beer or two, but tonight, I’m a Scotch man. And you?”
“White Russian. Heavy on the white. I’m a lightweight and I always go for the girlie drinks.”
“I know plenty of guys who drink White Russians.”
“Liar.”
“Fine. I don’t know them personally. But I’m sure I’m right.”
She smiled. Again. A small miracle. “Why do I get the impression you say that a lot?”
“What, that I’m right?”
She nodded. “My guess is that you are. A lot.”
“What makes you say that?” Rick was studying her again. It should have been intrusive and uncomfortable. It wasn’t. “Except for the train wreck at midnight and the alarmingly amazing kissing, you don’t know much about me.”
“Uh, several advanced degrees?” she said. “That was a pretty big hint.”
“I don’t know that the two correlate, but I do have a habit of saying I’m right. How’s that for obnoxious?”
“Oh, please. You’re hot, brilliant and nice. Wait.” The line moved. She didn’t. “Are we talking about the same kiss?”
“What? I think I’m insulted.”
“Oh, okay. Never mind. That kiss. Of course.”
“If you need a refresher...”
What Jenna needed was that damn drink. Alarmingly amazing? Yes, that was a rather good description. She hurried a coup
le of feet to close the gap between her and the man in front of her. That was when she saw it was a cash bar and quickly felt around inside her purse for money.
When it was their turn she paid for the drinks. Rick let her easily, which she appreciated. Although what did it matter if he appeared to be nearly perfect? Yes, he had gorgeous blue eyes that threatened her undoing every time he looked at her, and the way he kissed made her forget her whole world had collapsed. And yes, he was being as nice and supportive as she could have hoped for, but...
“You know what?” she said. “You’re right.” She followed him to a small unoccupied table, where they sat across from each other. There were still people on the dance floor, despite having no band. She liked the piped-in music better than what she’d heard at the Bond thing. This was more her speed. Old-fashioned dance music. Like in the subway.
“What am I right about this time?” he asked.
“Oh.” She’d forgotten why she’d been thinking. “No, no, you’re right. It would have been the easiest thing for them to make sure we couldn’t see them. But they were standing in the hallway right outside of the BU suite. As if they were so lost in each other that, that...” After taking a couple of big gulps, she put her drink down. “I would never.”
“No,” he said. “You wouldn’t.” He sipped his Scotch, watched the dancers for a moment and then looked at her again. “Although, you do have a point. It’s possible that they just lost their heads for a few minutes. That they’d had too much to drink, and things got out of hand.”
“Is that normal for Faith?” Jenna said. “Does she just lose her head for a few minutes and kiss other men?”
“Not that I’ve ever seen.”
She sighed. “Payton doesn’t, either. Except he did, and from the way he looked at her, he didn’t think of me at all. There was no other exit from that hotel suite. The first thing I saw was you, staring down the hallway. It was crowded, but it didn’t take more than a couple of seconds for me to catch on.” She winced at the memory. Her stomach did that twisted thing that made her feel like crawling in a hole and never coming out again. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to let it go, but... I had a trickster father and I don’t want anything like that in my life.”
“Trickster?”
“He’s chock-full of mischief, my dad. He’s always been a salesman, the kind that requires a lot of travel, but his real love was inventing things that were supposed to make gazillions of dollars. They never did. He knew how to charm the ladies, though. Lots of them. Including my mother. The only thing he couldn’t do was take care of his responsibilities. My mom ended up having to work two jobs, sometimes three. She was exhausted all the time. I learned how to take care of myself. Which isn’t a bad thing in itself. But...” She shrugged.
“Ah. That kind of trickster.”
“I know, I’m a walking cliché, choosing Payton, who’s the exact opposite of my father. But I don’t care. I hated that my dad was gone so much. And that the only time I felt as if we were a family was when he came home. But that wasn’t very often. The only time I felt really...”
She inhaled deeply, then decided to just tell the unvarnished truth. It wasn’t as if she’d ever run in to Rick again. “The only time I felt really loved was when he was home. When we were all together.”
“What about your mother?”
“She was a good mom, in her own way. She did the best she could. If she minded that he was away a lot, I never heard her complain. When he was home he was the center of her universe. I love my mom. I really do. But she just let him keep his head in the clouds, when he had a family to support.”
Rick sipped on his drink, and Jenna felt foolish for that last outburst. She watched the couples on the dance floor, all around their age and older. It was nice, and she was able to calm down a bit.
“Do they live in Boston?” he asked, and her gaze went back to him. His blue eyes made her forget the question for a minute.
“Not anymore. They moved to Santa Fe four years ago. No, five. He still spends half his time on the road and she keeps accepting his crumbs. I know I shouldn’t say any of this.”
“Why not? I’m the ideal audience. The quintessential perfect stranger. In a blink I’ll be gone.”
“True.”
“So, what’s it like now, with them?”
She shrugged. Drank some more of her very strong White Russian. “It’s okay. We’re not close.” Tears welled again. She blinked them back and then wiped away the one that had escaped. “Would you feel up to telling me about you and Faith?”
He did the staring thing again. She’d love to know what he saw, but she wouldn’t ask. Finally, he nodded. “You know how we met? She was a freelance writer who specialized in the earth’s atmosphere and climate change. I’d been in my job for a couple of years. After she interviewed me, we became friends. We went to the same gym, and we were both into mountain climbing, bikes, running. Sex was great, and we didn’t get on each other’s nerves. So she moved in with me.
“She knew I’d be working a lot, that I’m a storm chaser, and that all my friends were also into atmospheric studies. She went wherever the headlines took her so she was gone a lot herself. Every time we connected we were good together. There weren’t any issues. We never actually talked about our relationship.”
“What changed?”
“Hmm?”
“Something big must have changed for you to want to get married.”
“You’d think. But I just figured we’d been together long enough and—” He shrugged. “Kids. The idea of having them. I want that. Not yet, though.”
“So, you were putting down a deposit?”
He inhaled, and she wanted to take the words back.
“I’m so sorry,” Jenna said. “Ignore that, please. I probably shouldn’t have asked about her. Clearly, I’m no good for anything right now. Which is terrible, because you’ve been wonderful.”
“Don’t worry about it. You’re dead-on. That’s exactly what I was doing. But now I want to put some thought into what comes next. Faith and I get along. Always have. And yeah, I’ll admit, with our chaotic lives, our relationship has been convenient.”
He sighed and stared at the dancers. A song Jenna liked started, and for a few moments, neither she nor Rick said anything. His expression changed, though, from pensive to something darker.
“This wasn’t the first time I tried to propose to Faith,” he said. “Clearly I didn’t try very hard. Hot-air balloons aren’t great for proposals. But then, I thought New Year’s Eve was a good idea.” He shrugged. Took a drink.
Jenna’s throat tightened as she stared at the small diamond ring on her left hand. She and Payton were nothing like Rick and Faith. Well, they were convenient, she supposed. He didn’t live in California or work the night shift. But they had talked about their relationship. Each step had been carefully thought out. She’d been the one to decide that they wouldn’t live together until they were married, but Payton had supported her fully. She loved him. He’d been exactly the kind of man she’d always wanted.
Though right now she had no idea what she wanted.
“That first kiss,” Rick said, his smile so nice, she let go of the breath she’d been holding. “I mean us. That was unexpected.”
“It was,” she agreed. “Completely. To be honest, you literally took my breath away.”
He was back to looking pensive. It was a damn good look on him. She imagined half the women in the room were undressing him in their thoughts.
But she worried she’d said the wrong thing. “Do you suppose payback somehow makes kissing more thrilling?”
“Thrilling, huh?” He didn’t actually puff up like a sage grouse in heat, but his faint smile did look awfully smug. “Probably. Yeah. You think if I kissed you right now, it would be payback again?”
S
he finished her White Russian, feeling that buzz she’d been chasing. “Yeah. I think payback’s going to be a big part of everything for a while.”
“I’ve got no problem with that.”
Jenna laughed, grateful she’d already swallowed. “You know what? I don’t, either.”
“Then we better get some food.”
“I’m sorry, what? You’re hungry? Now?”
“Not especially,” he said. “But you just polished off a lot of booze. Have you had anything else to eat besides chocolate?”
How did he know about that? Had he been watching her earlier? God, she hoped not. She picked up her drink, remembering too late that she’d finished it. “You’re probably right about eating,” she said, gently putting the empty glass down. “Because I’m a little drunk.”
He helped her up and they went to scope out their second buffet of the night. It was a very good buffet, especially when they zeroed in on the amazingly fresh crab and lobster. Just as Jenna was heading around the table to the oysters, an inebriated man in a beautiful suit stopped right in front of her, although he was looking over her shoulder.
“Rick? Is that you?”
“Hey, Paul. How you doing?”
Obviously, Rick wasn’t especially happy to see Paul. The man was nice-looking, if you were into three-piece suits with just a hint of pocket square showing.
“Great,” Paul said, his voice oily with booze and self-pity. “Just great. My wife left me last week. I thought it would be a good idea to come here instead of sitting home alone. Stupid. All I can think about is her and Dennis.”
“I’m sorry to hear it, Paul.” Rick slipped his arm around her so smoothly, she would have bet money that Paul hadn’t even noticed. “Maybe this is just a separation—”
“Maybe nothing. She wants out. All she cares about now is my money and her dermatologist.”
“Man, that sucks.” Rick put a hand on Paul’s shoulder. Steadied him a bit, and took him a few steps away from the food. “You have a place to stay tonight?”
“Got a room. Don’t want to go until I know I’ll crash until tomorrow. Why I came. Being alone is what sucks. The quiet. The...everything.”
