I nodded once, trying to extract myself from his arms because I should, not because I wanted to. I felt more secure in his embrace than I’d felt in a long time. But he only gripped me tighter.
“Who called the lifeguards?” he asked.
“Me,” I said. “Before I went into the water.”
“Good thinking. Good thing you were there. You probably saved his life,” he said, his gaze steady on mine.
“He’s my life,” I said adamantly. “I love him so much. He’s all I have.”
Shadows darkened Journey’s eyes. “You told me in LA that your parents are both gone. What happened?”
“My mom left us a long time ago and went back to Thailand. We never heard from her again. My dad raised me and my brother on his own, but he had a heart attack three years ago, here while he was working on the apartment grounds. He was a landscaper and was doing some gardening down by the pool. Mrs. Nowak found him and called nine-one-one. But by the time they arrived, he was gone.”
“How old were you when this happened?” he asked, his features pinched.
“Nineteen.”
“Not so long ago.”
“No.” I shook my head sadly. “Sometimes it feels like it was only yesterday.”
“He was a good father to you?”
“He was the best. He was one of those people who didn’t just talk about doing nice things, but he actually did them. He was patient, wise, and gentle. He’s the type of person I aspire to be. I try to put into practice everything he taught me, not only his wisdom, but with the gardening I do now too.”
“Oh, Li . . . Lotus. I’m so sorry.” Journey’s eyes were bright, and he looked like he wanted to cry too.
Blinking back my tears, I tried to lighten the heavy mood. “As you’ve seen, I can be high-strung when I’m upset. I’m sorry I dumped all this on you.”
“I asked, and I appreciate you sharing. I wish . . . well, anyway.” Journey swallowed and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “You are something, all right,” he said cryptically. “Losing a father like he was, you lost a lot. Taking care of Cork, you have a lot of responsibility. Is there no other family around to help you?”
“A few distant older relatives on my dad’s side,” I said. “But no one who’s interested in being involved in our lives. I don’t mind being responsible for him. I wanted to be his guardian.”
“I can see that. And I can see that he loves you too. He’s protective. He’s actually glaring at us right now through the glass.”
I looked and nodded. “So he is. Sorry about that. I’ll explain to him later.”
“No need. It’s good you have each other.” Journey exhaled. “So, it’s just you providing for and taking care of him twenty-four/seven?”
I nodded.
“And you work for Ash, bartend at the Deck Bar, and you have your own business?”
“Yes, it takes all three to make ends meet. But if one little—” I bit back on that thought.
I made the ends meet this month. Day by day, I did what was possible. I refused to let my fear of failure keep me from doing what needed to be done.
“Who helps you when you have a scheduling conflict?” Journey tilted his head. “Or if you’re just tired?”
“Ash and his wife, Fanny,” I said. “Sophia occasionally.”
Journey gave me a pointed look. “When do you get a break?”
“I don’t do breaks. Not from family.”
He shook his head. “I wouldn’t even know what that’s like.”
“You mentioned being estranged from your family.”
“Yes, and now I understand why you looked so sad for me. Our backgrounds are so different. I certainly had no one in my household growing up to emulate.”
I reached up like I had a right to, laid my palm against his cheek, and stroked it with my thumb. His whiskers were long, but soft.
“Who helps you?” I asked. “When you have a problem, or you’re just tired.”
“A good point.” Journey’s eyes locked on mine, and he leaned into my palm. “The answer is no one.”
Storm
“WELL, YOU DON’T have no one anymore,” Lotus said emphatically. “You have me.”
“Lotus.” I was floored by her, completely in awe of the amazing woman she’d become.
All she’d been through, yet here she stood, offering to be my friend without reservation, when she was the one who most needed someone to count on. She’d said her wish was to emulate her father, but in my eyes, she already had. She was beautiful too, but just like when we were kids, the bulk of her beauty, the most precious part, lay inside her.
My heart rattled against the rusty bars of the cage I kept it in, wanting out, wanting her.
Giving her a stern look, I said, “You can’t connect with everyone you meet and give them everything you are without reservation.”
“I don’t,” she said, her brows drawing together.
“You do. You’re doing it right now. I doubt I’m a unique case. You need to reserve some of that goodness inside you to look out for yourself.”
“I’m not offering you one of my kidneys.” She gazed steadily at me, her reddish-brown eyes aglow. “I’m just offering to lend a helping hand. We’re going to be neighbors. You’ll be living just downstairs.” Her lips quirked. “If you need something, you can just knock on the ceiling three times.”
Referring to a very old song, she lightened a moment that felt heavy. The second time she’d done so since we stepped outside.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Good.” She tugged her arms free, and I reluctantly let her go.
I liked—no, I loved holding her. I just knew I had no right to. Though I wanted her still, she wasn’t on a break from Saber anymore.
Rooted in place, I watched her move, all slender shoulders, bronzed skin, and shapely legs. Somehow she made wearing denim overalls irresistibly sexy.
“Knock, knock,” I said, moving up behind her as she pulled open the sliding glass door.
“Who’s there?” Turning to look at me, she wore an amused expression.
Her brother moved closer, watching us with a speculative glint in his eyes.
“Your downstairs neighbor,” I said.
“Ah.” Her small smile turned into a big one. “Do you need something already?”
You. Just you.
“Yeah, some of your free time today, if you can spare it.”
“Since someone bought all my inventory, I can give you some right now. I’m free until five.”
“Come with me to LA. You and Cork. Keep me company and help me load my stuff. I’ll buy us a picnic lunch. On the way back, we’ll stop at Castaway Cove and do some surfing. Get to know each other better. Cork can show me his moves.”
“I’ve never been to LA,” Cork said, his expression eager.
“I know that.” She gave her brother a firm look. “But I’ll get you there some other—”
“Please, Lotus.” His expression turned imploring.
“Sure. Okay.” Her expression softening, she caved. Cork might have cognitive deficiency, but not apparently when it came to getting his way. “But let me just call Saber. Let him know where I’ll be.”
I stiffened at the reference to my brother. Her boyfriend. I wanted to forget about him entirely when I was with her.
She withdrew her cell from the big bag she seemed to always tote around. Moving inside the apartment, my new apartment, she covered one ear with her free hand.
“Hey,” she said into her phone. “I know you’re probably in the studio by now. I don’t want to bother you while you’re working, but I wanted to leave you this message.”
How could she ever be a bother? Surely, he kept his phone nearby so he would never miss her call.
“I’m going to LA with Journey to help him move,” she said into her phone. “He’s taken the apartment beneath mine.” Her gaze flicked to me, and I saw the conflicted shimmer in her eyes. “Cork’s coming too. I’ll see you
at five. I just thought you would probably want to know where I am. Love you. ’Bye.”
She crossed the room, biting her lip. “Okay, that’s done. I can go now. I’m ready.”
“Good.” I lifted my chin and waved my keys. “Who wants shotgun for the drive?”
“Me this time!” Cork shouted. “Lotus got it on the way over here.”
“You’re right.” I shrugged while looking at her. “Sorry, babe.”
She rolled her eyes. “We’re both shotguns. There’s only the one bench seat.”
“True. But you have to sit in the middle this time.” I waggled my brows. “Next to me. Think you can handle it?”
She lifted her chin. “I can handle anything you want to give me.”
Full of attitude, sexy as hell, her challenge made me want her more.
“Glad to hear that,” I said. “I’ll keep that in mind next time I offer to give you something of mine to handle.”
She sucked in a breath, getting my double meaning.
“I’ve got two boards in LA. Cork can use one of mine to surf. But it’s probably too much board for you.”
Pointing at the ceiling, she said, “I’ll go grab mine. And a couple of beach towels.” She started to move, then stopped and turned. “Do you have chairs?”
“I only have one beach chair.”
“Right.” Shaking her head, she gave me a sad look.
I did have a sorry solo existence. Just a little time in her presence, and that was already apparent.
“I’ll grab a couple,” she said, looking as eager as Cork now, just for a day of surfing and a picnic in the sun. “Anything else we’ll need?”
“No, that’ll probably do it,” I said. “But hurry. Meet Cork and me at the Scout. You’re cutting into our surf time.”
She took off like a shot and met us in the parking lot moments later, interrupting our discussion about the new scoring criteria the World Surf League was considering employing in the preliminary heats.
“Gives the advantage to the big guys,” I said.
“Yeah.” As Cork leaned against the tailgate, a shadow crossed his features. “Eliminates the chance of someone, an unknown like I once was, coming in and stealing first place out from under the established competitors’ noses.”
Lotus shook her head, making an alarmed face and trying to get my attention. She didn’t want me talking about competitive surfing. But avoiding the topic wouldn’t make Cork’s longing to compete go away.
Just as certainly as avoiding her wouldn’t take away my desire to have her. I wanted her as soon as I set my eyes on her. I wanted her right now after already having her.
I took her board from her and stored it in the back, watching as she and her brother climbed in at the front. Moving to the driver’s side and seeing her sitting in my vehicle sent a surge of satisfaction through me. My lips curved as I climbed into my seat. My hand brushed her hip as I buckled my seat belt, and when she blushed prettily, my cock went hard.
“Did you hear back from Saber?” I asked, affecting a casualness to my question as I cranked the key to start the engine.
“No.” She shrugged. “But it’s not a big deal. He told me last night that he was going into the studio with Ash today. He’s often unreachable when he’s working.”
Her tone was matter-of-fact but her shrug was her tell, something she did back when we were kids that meant her words weren’t entirely truthful. It was admirable that she defended Saber. But they’d had that break for a reason, and it was uncool of him not to be accessible to her when she had so much responsibility and so little backup.
Well, she had little backup before. From now on, she had me.
I reached in my pocket and handed her my cell. “Here. Plug in your cell number and Cork’s, and put my number in your contacts too.”
“Why?” she asked, looking confused
“The knocking system is fine in theory when we’re in our apartments, though technically when you’re in yours, you’ll have to stomp. But that system isn’t reliable enough. If you get into trouble, I want you to be able to send out an SOS to the world.” I waggled my brows, getting in an old song reference too. “You or Cork, anytime you need me, just call my cell. I’ll be mad if I find out you were in trouble and didn’t call. And you know my being mad is something to avoid. Yeah?” I raised my brows at her.
It was decided in my mind. I probably was acting like an authoritative ass. But for some reason, she plugged in their numbers as told, and she did it smiling. Cork too.
Lotus
“HEY, YOU’RE DIFFICULT to reach these days,” I said, ducking outside Journey’s old apartment when I saw Sophia’s number pop up on my cell.
Journey and Cork remained inside. They’d talked the whole drive to LA, getting along like they’d been friends their whole lives. They liked a lot of the same bands, including ones I liked too. Cork had been questioning Journey nonstop about his studio work.
“So are you,” Sophia said, sounding frustrated.
I was a little frustrated too since we’d been playing phone tag the past twenty-four hours. Our schedules didn’t coincide the way they once had, not since she’d gotten her dream job working full-time at the local jewelry shop Sea N Things. She loved working there and hoped to have a shop of her own like it one day.
“I returned all your messages.”
“I know you did. I returned all yours too.” I sighed. “Just so you know all the basics, Journey’s here. He just signed on to be the new guitarist in OB Hardy, and he leased the apartment beneath mine. What am I going to do about it?”
“You left out that you slept with him. That it was amazing.” Her tone was wry. “And that you’re back with your ex, but you still have a major case of the hots for Journey that he, in your opinion, no longer has for you.”
“Not an opinion, Soph,” I muttered.
“Where’s Journey now?” she asked.
I glanced inside his apartment, peeking in on him and Cork through a break in one of the vertical blinds. My brother was standing beside him talking. Journey had a ghost of a smile on his sexy lips. Apparently, whatever Cork was saying was amusing. Hopefully, it wasn’t something embarrassing about me.
“Looks like he’s working on the last of the things in his closet. Not much left to do after that.”
He seemed to be in a hurry to leave his apartment behind, and so was I. Being there, I recalled everything we’d done. Too much of me longed for a repeat performance, so much so, I had to go outside to breathe.
“How is he with Cork?” she asked.
“Kind. Patient. It’s like they’re each other’s long-lost pals.”
“That sounds kinda nice.”
“It is really nice.”
Journey didn’t dance around any subjects. He talked to Cork like he was an equal, affirming his opinion several times on a variety of topics from surfing to music.
“So, how about you?” she asked, zeroing in on the crux of the issue. “How is he with you?”
“He’s nice to me too. We get along fine as long as we avoid the topic of us sleeping together.”
“Hmm. Didn’t sound to me like you did any actual sleeping when you were together.”
“No, you’re right. We didn’t.”
“You fucked.”
“It felt like more than that to me,” I whispered.
“Because you’re you.”
“And that means?”
“You don’t have it in you to do superficial. You’re always all in with one hundred percent of that pure heart of yours.”
“I’m not pure.” I shook my head. “I had a one-night stand with a guy who was practically a stranger. And I still haven’t told my boyfriend that the guy I slept with is Journey.”
“You said in your text that Saber didn’t want to know the details.”
“It doesn’t feel right to me to keep it secret,” I said softly.
Sophia went silent, and I could picture her eyes scrunching up like they
did when she was deep in thought. “It’s odd him not wanting to know. If it were me, I’d want the details so we could talk it through. Then put it behind us.”
“Saber and I think differently about a lot of things,” I said, understating it. I was afraid my night with Journey was a symptom of more than just one problem with my boyfriend.
“I know you do, and you know my opinion about him.”
“Play,” I said, mimicking her voice. “But don’t get my heart involved.”
“Saber’s too controlling for a free spirit like you.” She clucked her tongue disapprovingly. “But you went with him anyway.”
“He’s handsome and charming when he wants to be.”
“He kicked your heart around, hurt you, and yet you still took him back,” she said, giving me her opinion in a straightforward manner like she usually did. “Are you sure that was the right thing to do?”
“He’s being really sweet. He included me in the band meeting.”
“Did he ask you to be at that meeting, or did he tell you?”
I frowned. “He told me.”
“Did he ask your opinion about adding Journey to the band?”
“No,” I said.
“It’s all one-sided stuff. Nothing’s changed with him.” She sounded exasperated. “It takes two for a relationship, two working together making short-term plans as well as long-term ones. Has Saber ever done that with you?”
“No, not really.” I bit down on my lip. “He has his future pretty much already mapped out.”
“Well, it sounds to me like he’s serving you up more of the same on this reboot with a little sweetener. I suggest you sort out what you want and why you’re with him before you get in too deep again.”
“That’s good advice,” I said.
“That’s the only type I give,” she said, a smile in her voice.
“I’m supposed to have dinner with Saber tonight. I’ll talk to him then.”
“That sounds wise.”
There, she was wrong. I wasn’t wise, or I wouldn’t be in this predicament, but I was trying to do the right thing while trying not to throw myself at Journey.
Storm Page 14
