These My Words

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by Eunice de Souza


  Champa is good

  Fidgety and impish too

  Sometimes she makes a mess

  Sometimes she hides my pen

  Somehow when I find it somewhere

  And get it back—

  All the paper’s gone!

  Given a hard time again!

  Champa says: all day you keep on poking at the paper

  is this work really good?

  This reduces me to lauaghter

  and Champa falls silent again.

  That day Champa came

  I said to her: Champa, you too come and read ...

  This will come to your rescue in troubled times

  Gandhi baba says that all must read and write.

  Champa said straight out: I won’t! What is this?

  You always told me that Gandhi baba is nice,

  how can he then, ask us to read and write?

  No reading and writing for me, no way!

  I said to Champa: It’s good to write

  Someday you’ll get married.

  For a while, your husband will stay with you

  And then he’ll set off for Calcutta.

  Calcutta is very far away—

  how will you read his letters?

  Champa, it’s good to read and write.

  Champa said: Look, what a liar you are!

  See for yourself, what studying has done to you!

  So much learning and such lies!

  Me, I’ll never get married

  and even if I do, I wouldn’t ever let my husband go to Calcutta.

  So, to hell with Calcutta!

  Translated from the Hindi by Anamika and Arlene Zide

  Arundhathi Subramaniam (b. 1967)

  Tree

  It takes a certain cussedness

  to be a tree in this city,

  a certain inflexible woodenness

  to dig in your heels

  and hold your own

  amid lamp-posts sleek as mannequins

  and buildings that hold sun and glass together

  with more will-power than cement,

  To continue that dated ritual,

  re-issuing a tireless maze

  of phalange and webbing,

  perpetuating that third world profusion

  of outstretched hand,

  each with its blaze of finger

  and more finger—

  so many ways of tasting neon

  so many ways of latticing a wind

  so many ways of being ancillary to the self

  without resenting it.

  English

  Sumangala’s Mother (4 BCE)

  ‘Tis Well with Me

  O woman well set free! how free am I,

  How thoroughly free from kitchen drudgery!

  Me stained and squalid ‘mong my cooking pots

  My brutal husband ranked as even less

  Than the sunshades he sits and weaves always.

  Purged now of all my former lust and hate, I dwell, musing at ease beneath the shade

  of spreading boughs—O, but ‘tis well with me!

  Translated from the Pali by Margaret Macnicol

  Anon, Gujarati Folk Song

  My Husband’s Home

  In my husband’s home my mother-in-law is a serpent;

  Sneering she asks me to grind the mill all day long.

  In my husband’s home my sister-in-law is a dragon,

  Snarling she asks me to spin the ‘charkha’ all night.

  In my husband’s home my elder sister-in-law is an angel of death,

  Scolding me she eats away my soul all day and night.

  Translated from the Gujarati by Madhubhai Patel

  Soma (c. 4 BCE)

  The Sceptic Says

  The sceptic says—

  That vantage ground the sages may attain

  Is hard to reach with her two-finger wit

  That is no woman competent to gain.

  She replies—

  What should the woman-nature do (to me)

  With mind well set and knowledge faring on,

  To me who rightly Dhamma can discern?

  To him for whom the question may arise:

  Am I a woman in these matters, or

  Am I a man, or what not am I then—

  To such a one is Mara fit to talk.

  Translated from the Pali by C.A.F. Rhys-Davids

  Rukmini Bhaya Nair (b. 1952)

  Paranomasia

  At Cambridge I learnt to lie with elegance

  to turn to advantage a narrow bed,

  a narrower scholarship, sail close

  to the edge of the fens but be careful

  not to sink, fence myself with books

  but be careful not to think.

  I thrust behind the lowered guards

  of several visored dons, merry maid

  though every night and blackmailed

  in the mornings, a soupcon of malice

  saw me to success, I learnt to trade

  more and more for ever less and less.

  and now I am a don myself, whose duty

  is to see each shuffling undergraduate

  develop deviously, sharp their skill

  at feinting, secure a neat pass or two

  but above all forget those clumsy truths

  that send them far, far beyond the edge.

  a queen anne bed, a unique dresser

  I teach my acolytes finessed in pleasure

  for the untutored minute comes

  the cold fens circling wait, styxward slip

  our familiar quarters, point encompasses point

  and there’s an end to all our hauteur.

  English

  Harindra Dave (1930-95)

  The Speck

  A speck, dreaming itself the sun,

  rising, flying eastward, sinks in the west.

  With heated gaze desiring

  to dry the water into cloud,

  and live, some day, a sun-disc in the sea,

  it spins in a whirlpool’s dark whorl.

  Hearing the lamp,

  scorched by the flame,

  it asks the hurricane’s speed, and beauty of the sky.

  All watch, astonished,

  the speck rise, struggling, to its feet.

  Translated from the Gujarati by Suguna Ramanathan and Rita Kothari

  Kadammanitta Ramakrishnan (b. 1935)

  Tar and Broom

  With a bucketful of tar and a broomstump

  with a mouthful of filth and smut

  with scabies on the head and ulcers on the feet

  and sores all over the skin

  I stand here at the porch of the world.

  Villains, do you dare abuse me?

  Why shut the door in my face

  as though the holy place were your family plot?

  Why such pretences, why such pretensions,

  You, thorns of the vineyard!

  Here I am with a bucketful of tar

  to blacken the walls of the world.

  Come on, then: I tell you if you dare obstruct me,

  I will blacken your blanched faces too.

  You are all carrion birds that scramble for funeral offerings

  on the new moon day in the month of Cancer.

  Didn’t you crush with your fists

  the jasmine buds that opened out amidst the pain of the night?

  Didn’t you in a herd slake your bestial lust

  under the shade of the roadside tree?

  I lay with my eyes open

  pressing my finger to the ulcer on my foot,

  The stone-pillow and the bed of sand and mud

  were drenched in tears

  when the pus oozed out from the gaping sore

  and pain stuck to my very soul.

  Didn’t you then hold your noses and drive me out like a pest

  with your palm-leaf broom, O my good people?

  I then snatched away your broom

  and its stump is my pen today.r />
  With a bucketful of tar and a broom stump

  and a song of hatred just aroused

  I’ll blacken your mansions

  with the dirt from the gutter:

  I’ll paint you naked and black and provoke your gentility;

  I’ll smash your antiques in their coloured glass cases;

  I’ll plant thorns in the paths

  of your beautiful gardens;

  I’ll draw graffiti that’ll pain your eyes;

  I’ll throw filth upon you

  and take off your dress of virtue.

  My breath, reeking with camphor, will coat your perfume

  bottle with slime,

  will dirty the water in your orchard lotus pond,

  will draw a mandala with dark cloud ink on the white sky

  and will dance on those squares a dance of fury.

  Translated from the Malayalam by K. Ayyappa Paniker and Ray King

  Mamta Kalia (b. 1940)

  Compulsions

  I want to pick my nose

  in a public place

  I want to sit in my office chair

  with my feet up

  I want to slap the boy

  who makes love in a cafe

  while I wait alone for the waiter

  to bring me coffee and sandwiches

  I want to pay Sunday visits

  totally undressed

  I want to throw away

  all my cosmetics

  I want to reveal

  my real age

  English

  Tukaram (b. 1608-50)

  Where Did It Go Wrong?

  Where did it

  Go wrong?

  I was

  Doing well.

  What made me grab

  This noose

  That’s around

  My neck?

  Now I’m tied

  In too many

  Knots.

  I cannot

  Move

  Back

  Or forth.

  I have nothing

  Left.

  I am too deep

  In debt.

  My harvest

  Has been

  Looted.

  My wife

  And my children

  Have to beg.

  I borrow

  Left and right.

  Nothing

  Seems enough.

  Says Tuka,

  It’s best

  I give up

  All hope

  And leave

  All this

  Where is

  As is.

  Translated from the Marathi by Dilip Chitre

  Anon, Rajputana Folk Song

  There Is No Limit to Desire

  I would go to fetch water only when

  I have a water-pot of gold,

  Then I would bring water.

  The golden pot would be fit to carry

  When I have a head-ring of pearls,

  Then I would bring water.

  The head-ring would be fit to wear

  When I have a priceless veil,

  Then I would bring water.

  The veil would be fit to wear

  When I have a necklace around my neck,

  Then I would bring water.

  The necklace would be fit to wear

  When my father is a king,

  Then I would bring water.

  Translated from the Rajasthani by Winifred Bryce

  Shakunt Mathur (b. 1920)

  Waiting

  Scolded

  the old servant

  for his usual slowness

  Gave a good slap

  to my darling son

  for his mischief

  To my daughter who’d been playing

  gave a dozen hankies to hem

  Ordered

  the oldest one

  to drink more milk

  Washed

  all the dirty clothes

  Flipped through a few magazines

  Darned some torn clothes

  Put on some new buttons

  Cleaned the machine and oiled it

  Put the cover back on with care

  Took out the half-finished sewing

  and repacked it in a different way

  Wiped the cupboards in the kitchen

  Cleaned the spice jars.

  And still

  he

  hasn’t come home from the office.

  Translated from the Hindi by Aruna Sitesh and Arlene Zide

  Shobha Bhagwat (b. 1947)

  Husbands

  This woman has a job

  so her husband is unhappy

  this one sits at home

  so her husband is upset

  this one is very thin

  so her husband is angry

  this one is very plump

  so her husband snaps at her

  though this one has a lovely figure

  her husband is grouchy

  he is troubled by doubts

  and simmers all the time

  this one is very talkative

  so her husband dislikes her

  this one is very quiet

  so her husband cannot stand her

  this one has a messy home

  so her husband complains

  this one has a spic-and-span home

  so her husband is morose

  this one is always well-dressed

  so her husband wonders, ‘For whom?’

  this one is always plainly dressed

  so her husband says, ‘She’s dumb.’

  Does this tight-rope balancing act

  ever come to an end?

  Where can one find a husband

  who likes his wife?

  Translated from the Marathi by Vinay Dharwadker

  Bilqees Zafirul Hasan (b. 1938)

  Dignity

  ‘Bibi Sahib, my husband

  would come home every night, dead drunk. Then he would batter me.

  He wouldn’t let me spend even a cent of his earnings.

  How could I live with such a man? I left him,

  left the village and came to the city.

  Now I work in rich people’s homes, such as yours,

  I earn for myself and live by my labour.

  What good is the vermilion in the hair part that adorns, but like

  a wound?

  Now how could the Bibi Sahib explain to Dhaniya

  that her story wasn’t one of a kind

  that she too endures something similar,

  day after day, night after night.

  But unluckily, she isn’t Dhaniya. She is Bibi Sahib.

  And this status has been given to her in reward (bakhshish) by her

  husband.

  (One who has no status of one’s own must live on charity alone.)

  The dignity she attains by living with her husband:

  Can a woman hope to find it elsewhere? Anywhere?

  Feeling the gash on her forehead as she speaks,

  ‘Dhaniya, you shouldn’t have left your husband and walked away.’

  Self-respect is something; but how should Dhaniya make Bibi Sahib

  understand this?

  Translated from the Urdu by Mehr Afshan Farooqi

  Anon

  From The Gathasaptasati

  Let Faithful Wives

  Let faithful wives

  Say what they like,

  I don’t sleep with my husband

  Even when I do.

  Translated from the Prakrit by Arvind Krishna Mehrotra

  Anon, Gujarati Folk Song

  Room Zoom

  I went to the pasture to cut grass,

  I got my wages,

  I went to the bazaar,

  A pan in my mouth,

  A sheaf on my head;

  I went to the goldsmith,

  I saw the wristlet,

  Bought the anklet;

  Room zoom, room zoom

  Ring the anklet bells.

  Translated from th
e Gujarati by Madhubhai Patel

  Bihari (c. 16 CE)

  What One of Her Companions Said to Another

  Friend, she’s on top

  I reckon,

  resolute in love’s combat,

  for the bells of her girdle

  jingle away,

  while those of her anklets

  are now mute.

  Translated from the Hindi by Krishna P. Bahadur

  ‘THE SKY BETWEEN US’

  Manohar Shetty (b. 1953)

  Personal Effects

  A few things he’ll leave behind

  To no one in particular:

  A gold necklace from his mother

  Melted into a wedding ring;

  Two first editions with broken

  Spines that may fetch

  A small fortune, but too late

  To pay the bills; a box

  Of expired pills; a gold-nibbed

  Fountain pen he refused

  To write with; an Olivetti,

  Its keys the seats

  Of an empty stadium;

  And clothes worn thin—he

  Loved the comfort of old

  Things: old letters, stopped clocks,

  The patina in sideboards,

  Fading photographs and paintings;

  And, last, musty notebooks

  And diaries empty of

  Mythical poems and important

  Jottings.

  English

  Anuradha Mahapatra (b. 1957)

  Cow and Grandmother

  Once she swam over the field like a heron, now the old woman

  wearing plain white cloth thinks she is like a cow; a bee comes

  flying

  to settle on the surface of the scalded pitcher; just at noon on the

  path

  through the acacia grove darkness descends; sometimes she lifts

  on to her head

  sheaves of rice; she looks for water at the neck of the dry pitcher,

  she gives

  rice-water to the sick dog and the barren cow; she kneels and hides

  her face

  in the straw; in the distance the cracks in the feet of the village

  wives

  meet the field’s cracks; at twilight jackals call; a girl reads the

  Gita

  and, as drum and ektara tune up, goes swimming like the heron

  over the white fields of Ranipur village; a patchwork of ripe

  berries

  is spread over the empty courtyard; and in the turmeric grove

  the young girl of long ago has become a blind grandmother; she

 

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