by Diana Palmer
“This is what I’ve been trying to tell you all along,” he whispered shakily, moving his lips to her throat. “I want you, Abby. I’d die to have you! And you can feel how much now, can’t you? This is how it is between lovers. This is what happens to a man when he’s pushed beyond his limits.”
Even as he spoke, his hands were sliding under her blouse, finding bare skin at her back and a clasp that snapped apart with devastating ease.
“I haven’t been with a woman for so damned long, I’d forgotten how soft...” he murmured, sliding his fingers under her breasts to cup their tender weight. His thumbs found suddenly hard peaks, making her shudder with new pleasure.
Abby’s legs moved restlessly as Cade’s eased between them. He turned, and she felt the ground under her and the full weight of his big body over her. She moaned at the intimacy, unfamiliar and arousing.
Her sharp nails dug into his back and raked down to his waist, feeling the warmth and moistness of his flesh as his hands touched her in ways that should have shocked her. His mouth was hungrier than she would ever have believed possible. She opened her own mouth helplessly, eagerly, tasting him, experiencing him.
She felt his hands on the buttons of her blouse, and seconds later his chest crushed the softness of her breasts in a joining that made her cry out again.
He lifted his head and his eyes glittered frighteningly. He was trembling all over with desire, and his face was hard with it.
“Is this what you wanted to know?” he demanded unsteadily. “If you could drive me out of my mind with wanting? To see how it would be if you pushed too hard? I want you, all right. I wanted you when you were eighteen, I’d have killed for you. But when I’d made up my mind to ask you to stay with me, you got on that damned bus and you never looked at me!”
Her eyes widened with shock. “What?”
He searched her face with eyes that barely saw. “Every vacation, all I heard about was how great New York was, how well you were doing in your damned career. Until finally I made sure I was out of the house when you came to visit, because it hurt so much to hear how happy you were away from me.”
“But, I wasn’t...” she began.
He wasn’t listening. His hands slid under her hips and forced her up against his. “Feel it, damn you,” he whispered harshly. “You’ve done this to me since you were fifteen. But it’s something I hate, Abby, and I hate you, too, for doing it to me, for teasing me. Because I know you don’t give a damn for anything except your career and your city men. And nothing you say is going to convince me otherwise!”
She swallowed nervously, her mouth trembling as she realized how set his mind really was. He’d cared, and she hadn’t known. Even when Melly told her, she had refused to believe. What had she done?
“Cade,” she whispered, reaching a hand up to his face.
“What do you want, baby, to see how I make love? To get a taste of what you missed when you stepped onto that bus four years ago?” He jerked her closer and bent his head. “I don’t mind showing you. It will be something to tell your sophisticated friends about when you get back to your own world!” He kissed her again, hurting her, as if it didn’t matter anymore whether he hurt her.
She could hardly believe what she’d just heard. He’d cared, he’d really cared enough to ask her not to leave Painted Ridge. And because she’d put on a brave front and gone away laughing, he’d believed it was because she was glad to be leaving him. Of all the horrible ironies...
She went limp in his arms, tears washing her face while he treated her like something he’d bought for the night, his hands insulting, his mouth probing mercilessly into hers. It didn’t matter that she loved him more than life, because if she told him now, he wouldn’t believe her. He’d just said so, and he thought she was only teasing, playing games with him until she went home. Home. If only he knew that Painted Ridge would always be home—because it was where he was.
She felt cold to the bone, as though there were not a trace of warmth anywhere inside her trembling body. She felt the restless motion of his body against hers, and wondered through a fog of misery if he really meant to take her completely.
But seconds later, he lifted his head as if he’d just tasted the tears, and looked down at her. His face was haunted-looking, his eyes blazing with frustrated passion. His powerful body shuddered.
“And this is as far as it goes, honey,” he said with a cold, mocking smile. “You wouldn’t want to risk going back to New York with my child growing inside you, would you, Abby? That would be taking the game too far.”
Her face felt tight with hurt. She could feel her body trembling under the hard pressure of his, but he’d never know it was with helpless desire, not fear. Despite everything—even his harsh treatment—she still wanted him, would always want him. Nor did the thought of a child bring any terror to her. It was the very door of heaven.
He took a deep breath and rolled away from her, lying with his eyes closed and his bare chest lifting and falling unevenly while she fumbled with catches and buttons.
She got jerkily to her feet and smoothed down her wild blond hair, trying to find the hairpins his insistent fingers had removed. She leaned against one of the sturdy trees by the riverbank until she could get her breath back and stop crying. Finally, she dragged the hem of her blouse over her red eyes to remove the hot salty tears from her cheeks.
She heard a sound behind her, over the noise of the river washing lazily between the banks, and she knew Cade was standing behind her. But she didn’t turn.
“Are you all right?” he asked after a minute, and the words sounded torn from him.
She looked over her shoulder at him, and her ravaged face caused something violent to flash in his eyes.
“Don’t look so worried, Cade,” she said with enormous dignity. “You made your point. I’m through throwing myself at you. You’ve cured me for good this time.” She managed a soft little laugh, although her swollen lips trembled and spoiled the effect.
He rammed his hands into his pockets and stared at her stiff back. “I’ll keep out of your way until Melly gets back from the honeymoon,” he said curtly. “I’ll expect the same courtesy from you. What happened...almost happened here isn’t going to be allowed to happen again.”
She bit her lower lip to keep from crying. “Cade...what you said...were you really going to ask me to stay, when I was eighteen?” she asked in a ghost of a whisper.
He laughed bitterly. “Sure,” he said. “I was going to offer you the job I finally gave Melly.” He looked away so that she wouldn’t see the lie in his dark eyes, or the deep pain that accompanied it.
She straightened, a surge of disappointment and hurt raging through her body. She had hoped that he’d wanted to marry her.
“Can we go back now?” she asked in a subdued tone.
“Might as well. I’ve got cattle to work.”
“And I’ve got a wedding dress to finish.” The sound of her words made her want to scream with anguish. There would never be a wedding for her. She walked quietly to the truck without looking at him and got in.
He loaded the basket and the cloth in the back of the truck with quick, furious motions and paused to shrug into his shirt and slam his ranch hat on his head before he got in beside her.
She felt his eyes on her, but she was staring out at the landscape.
“Abby,” he said quietly, “it’s better this way. You’ll hate me for a while, but you’ll get over it.”
“I don’t hate you,” she said in a whisper. “You don’t want commitment any more than I do, Cade, so there’s nothing to regret.”
His hands gripped the steering wheel until his fingers went white. “Don’t make it any harder than it already is,” he said under his breath. “Let’s forget today ever happened, Abby.”
“That suits me,” she said. She
stared out the window as he started the truck and gunned it back onto the road. She wasn’t going to cry, she wasn’t. She’d thrown her pride at his feet once too often already. He couldn’t wait to be rid of her, and she was just as anxious to get away from him. The torment of loving him was too much. As far as he was concerned, she was just a city girl amusing herself by playing up to him, and nothing was going to convince him otherwise. What a horrible opinion he had of her. Only a man who thought her utterly contemptible could have treated her as he had.
She drew in a shaky breath. It had been so beautiful at first, feeling the hunger raging in him, knowing that he wanted her that much. Until he told her what he really thought, and she realized that it was only physical desire with him, after all. Why hadn’t she remembered what he’d said the night before about sex being a lousy foundation for a relationship? Well, she remembered now, and she wouldn’t forget again. She’d harden her heart and grit her teeth and pray that the three weeks left would go by in a rush. Cade would never get close enough to hurt her again. She was going to make sure of that.
10
Melly’s wedding day was a flurry of last-minute preparation, with caterers all over the house and wedding guests arriving in droves even as Abby was helping her sister get into the wedding gown she’d designed.
“It’s just heaven.” Melly sighed, looking at herself in the mirror. The dress had a keyhole neckline, and it was lavishly trimmed with appliquéd Venice lace. The veil of illusion net that went with it fell from a Juliet cap down to drape over an elegant train. The sleeves were pure lace, the skirt a fantasy of satin and chiffon and more lace, and the Empire waistline featured a row of the most intricate tiny roses in contrasting oyster white. With Melly’s blond hair and fair skin, it was sheer magic.
“I can’t believe I actually finished it on time,” Abby murmured as she made a last tuck in the hem.
“I can’t believe you actually designed it,” her sister replied. “Abby, it’s the most gorgeous thing! Jessica will just die.”
“I hope not,” came the amused reply. Abby sighed, thinking about what might have been. She’d have to refuse that attractive offer now. It would only have worked if she had stayed in Montana. And, of course, that was impossible. Cade had done everything but move away to keep the distance between them. He wasn’t ever at home now, finding excuse after excuse to be up with the dawn and out until bedtime. Sometimes he even camped out with the men in the line cabins, shocking Calla, who gave up on keeping his supper for him and started sending his meals up with Jeb and the boys.
“Melly, be happy,” she said suddenly, breaking out of her reverie.
Melly turned, her eyes sparkling and full of love and excitement, her hands trembling with anticipation. “How could I help but be, when I’m marrying Jerry?” she asked. Her joy faded slightly though, when she looked at Abby. “Darling, what’s gone wrong between you and Cade?”
“Nothing that hasn’t always been wrong,” she replied with a cool smile. “Don’t you worry about me on your wedding day! Let’s get you married, okay?”
“Are you sure you can cope with the computer and all the extra work?”
“I can cope,” Abby said quietly. Impulsively, she hugged Melly. “I want years and years of happiness for you. I only wish our parents could be here, to see what a beautiful bride you make!”
“Maybe they’re watching,” came the soft reply. “Did you see the flowers, Abby? Wasn’t it grand of Cade to let us have the wedding here? All those guests...”
“...will probably have the opportunity to take a look at the bulls he’s selling while they’re on the place,” Abby finished with a bitter smile.
“Shame on you,” Melly said gently. “You know how generous Cade is.”
Abby flushed and turned away. “We see him in different ways, though. I wonder if he’ll show up for the ceremony?”
“He’s best man—he’ll have to.” Melly laughed. “Think you can walk down the aisle on his arm without tripping him?”
“I’ll fight the temptation, just for you. You’ll listen for the music?”
“I’ll listen. See you downstairs.”
Abby smiled. “See you downstairs.”
She walked out into the hall, checking her own long, V-necked lavender gown for spots or wrinkles. It was sleeveless, and her hair was pinned elegantly atop her head. She carried a bouquet of cymbidium orchids, and she was shaking with nerves. This would be her first wedding, and while she was honored to be her sister’s maid of honor, she would rather have been an observer. The hardest thing of all was going to be standing beside Cade at that altar.
She went down the stairs and stopped dead when she caught sight of a redheaded Amazon standing in the doorway. Ignoring the ranch wives, some of whom she knew, she made a beeline for the newcomer, knowing instinctively who she was. Cade, watching from the cleared-out living room where the ceremony would take place, scowled darkly when he saw her bypass the country women to rush to the elegantly dressed newcomer.
“You’ve got to be Jessica Dane,” Abby said immediately.
The towering redhead grinned. “How’d you guess? It was my beaming smile, right?” She laughed, towering over Abby in her three-inch heels. Barefoot, Jessica would have been almost six feet tall. With her red hair and pale skin and big black eyes, she would have drawn eyes anywhere, even without the mink stole and vivid green silk dress she was wearing with matching shoes and bag.
“You must be Abby, then,” Jessica said, extending her hand in a firm, warm handshake. “Come on out to my car for a minute, and let me show you what I brought! Have we got time?”
“A few minutes, anyway.” Abby laughed. She went out with Jessica without a backward glance, unaware of the dark scowling face watching her.
“These were just some of my lines,” Jessica said when they were seated in the Lincoln Continental’s comfortable interior, and Abby thumbed through several catalogs, admiring the fashions.
“They’re very good,” she said finally.
“They could be better, if I had a house designer,” Jessica said. “I’m prepared to offer you a percentage of my gross, Abby. I think you could make us both rich. Richer,” she corrected, laughing. “You’ve got some unique designs, if Melly’s wardrobe is anything to go by. I’d love to have you do a few sketches, at least, and send them to me.”
Despite her haste to get back to New York, Abby was willing to do that. In fact, she and Jessica got so caught up in a discussion of the particulars, they almost missed the opening chords of the organ. It wasn’t until Cade shouted from the front porch that Abby clambered out of Jessica’s car and rushed up the steps, with the Amazon at her heels.
“If you can spare the time, everyone else is ready to start,” Cade said under his breath as she passed him.
“And the sooner this is over, the sooner she’ll be back from her honeymoon, which means I can leave,” she shot back, glaring up at him.
“Lady, it won’t be quick enough to suit me,” he returned hotly.
She brushed past him, oblivious to Jessica’s puzzled stare, and went right to the doorway of the living room, arriving just as the prelude finished.
Cade joined Jerry at the altar, the two of them such a contrast in their suits—Cade dark and elegant, Jerry blond and obviously uncomfortable. Then the wedding march sounded and Abby gripped her orchids, shooting a glance at the staircase to find Melly waiting there. As she walked between the folding chairs, she discovered that down the aisle Cade was watching every step she made, an expression in his eyes that she couldn’t begin to understand.
For one wild instant, Abby pretended that this was her own wedding, that she was giving herself to Cade for all time. It was so delicious a fantasy that she stared at him the whole length of the aisle. He stared back at her, his face momentarily softening, his eyes black and glitterin
g as she went to stand at her place beside the flowered arch of the altar. His eyes held hers for a long blazing moment, and her lips parted on a rush of breath as she felt the force of the look all the way to her toes.
Then the organ sounded again, and the spell was broken as Melly came down the aisle in the gorgeous gown, carrying orchids and wildflowers in a unique bouquet.
Melly walked to the altar and stood nervously beside Jerry. The minister, a delightful man with thick glasses and a contagiously happy expression, read the marriage service. Jerry and Melly each read the special wording that they’d prepared for themselves, and they lit one candle together from two separate candles to signify the joining of two people into one. The final words were read. Jerry kissed the bride for so long that some members of the wedding party began to giggle. And all at once it was over and they were running down the aisle together.
Abby kept out of Cade’s way at the reception, sitting aside with Jessica while they discussed modeling and clothes and the future of Jessica’s boutique.
Then, all too soon, Melly was dressed in her street clothes and the happy couple rushed out the door to start on their honeymoon. Abby kissed them both and wished them well, and stood by while Melly stopped at the car to toss her wedding bouquet. Calla, dressed in gray and looking unusually sedate, caught it and blushed a flaming red—especially when thin old Jeb, suited up in a rare concession to civilization, looked at her and grinned.
Abby was grateful that she hadn’t caught it. That would have been the final thrust of the knife, to feel Cade’s sharp eyes on her, seeing the aching hunger she couldn’t have hidden from him.
Hours passed before the guests drifted away, and Abby saw Jessica off with a promise to put some sketches in the mail at her earliest opportunity. She liked Jessica very much. And perhaps there was a way for her to accept the job. If she moved to Wyoming, she’d be far enough away that she wouldn’t ever have to see Cade again.
