A Valentine's Quest (The Valentine's Trilogy)

by Sam E. Kraemer

  It hadn't even entered my mind, but that sounded pretty fucking great. "Ah, I get it. I'm such an idiot. Thank you, guys, for coming with me to get all this stuff. We'll do dinner here after the first of the year, okay?" I invited, backhandedly kicking them out.

  After Tim was satisfied the tree was straight in the stand, he hopped up from the floor. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, hugging me tightly. It wasn't unusual for him to show affection, but this level was unprecedented, really.

  He pulled away and turned to Beth. "Tell him, Elizabeth."

  I turned to my best friend, seeing panic on her face. She took a deep breath and then took my hand. "I…I'm leaving UH. Tim got accepted to med school at UCLA, and I was accepted into the physical and occupational therapy program, and we both start after the holiday break. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Gray, but I didn't know how to say good-bye."

  I looked at her and saw the tears. "Hell, don't cry. I'm so happy you both got accepted. That's amazing, Beth. You guys will do well, and when you get rich, I'll come squat at your mansion," I teased.

  She started to sob, and hell, I was fighting to hold it in myself because I didn't want to look like an ass. I turned to Tim. "She's your girlfriend, can't you do something?" I asked as I felt a tear fall. He leaned forward and hugged both of us, but that wasn't helping either of us.

  I heard the front door open and close. "Baby? I'm home," Derek called. I heard his boots hit the tray by the front door and when he walked into the living room to see the three of us crying, he quickly walked over.

  "What the hell?" he asked as he pulled me into his arms.

  I wiped the back of my hands across my eyes to dry them. "Beth and Tim are moving to L.A. They both got accepted at UCLA, and we're just saying good-bye."

  Derek turned to Beth and pulled her into a hug. "Damn, Beth, honey. What am I gonna do when I need some insight into him?" he asked as he nodded toward my crying ass.

  She giggled. "Sorry, Derek. You’re gonna have to maneuver that minefield on your own from here on out. I'm pretty sure you'll be fine," she told him. He kissed her cheek and then extended his hand to Tim for a shake and a ‘man-hug’.

  I walked them to the front door and opened it. "Timmy, will you wait for me downstairs? Get us a cab?" Beth asked as she dried her eyes again.

  Tim actually kissed my cheek. "Stay in touch, dude. We love you." He walked away, and I heard a sniff from his direction as he walked down the hallway. Yeah, I'd always liked Tim. He was truly an incredible guy.

  I turned to my lifeline…Beth. When my life fell apart after my parents kicked me out and I lived on the streets for a while, Beth was the person who picked up the pieces and made me a whole man again. I'd taken for granted she'd always be there to be my big sister, but she had her own life to live.

  "So, you're ready for this?" I asked.

  "Well, he's going to be a doctor, thank you very much. After you and Derek get married, we'll have you out to our mansion in Los Angeles, and we can sit by the pool drinking daiquiris. I'm going to miss you, Gray Carson," she whispered as she pulled me closer.

  I sniffed as well, not feeling very masculine at the moment. "Oh, please. We have Skype and FaceTime. After you get settled, you better call me. I want to hear from you when you run into celebs, Beth. You owe it to me," I goaded with a smile so the two of us could stop crying and try to maintain a little composure.

  I pulled her slight frame to me and held her tightly, brushing her strawberry colored locks out of my face. I loved her like she’d been born into my family. She'd given me a roof over my head when I’d lost hope, and she helped me see Derek Valentine for the wonderful man he’d turned out to be, even though I was skeptical in the beginning. If not for Beth? I had no idea if I’d still be alive. How the hell could I ever forget her?

  She pulled back from me and offered a watery smile. "Merry Christmas, Gray. I love you, and if you need me, I'm only a phone call away."

  She pecked my cheek and ran down the stairs while I stood in the apartment building hallway, crying like a baby. I'd miss her because I was pretty sure we'd lose track of each other over time. It was the way the world worked, and I wasn't foolish enough to think when they got busy with school and work, they'd think about me.

  "Come on, baby boy, come inside," Derek said quietly as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer, kissing my forehead.

  I looked into those exquisite brown eyes I loved, and I took a deep breath. "Derek, I want to change my major," I told him, way out of left field. He led me into the apartment and closed the door, turning the dead bolt.

  He guided me into our living room, sitting down on the couch before he pulled his gun from behind his back, quickly ejecting the magazine and checking the safety before placing it on the coffee table. Once he had things settled, he pulled me onto his lap and moved my hair off my forehead. I needed a haircut, but I loved to feel his hands in my hair. It was so comforting.

  "Okay, if that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll do. Any idea what you’d like to major in instead of hotel and hospitality management?" he asked, love and understanding shining in his eyes.

  I breathed for a second to get my confidence at high alert, not that I thought Derek wouldn’t support me. Hell, maybe I did it so I could bathe olfactory senses in Derek. He smelled unbelievable, my man, and I couldn't get enough of him. I licked his neck and up to his ear, sucking a little. "God, Gray, we're not gonna talk about anything if you keep that up. I'm gonna take you to bed and fuck you senseless," he whispered as I continued to suck his neck.

  I pulled away. "Damn…sorry," I said…insincerely. I loved him, and I'd mark him as many times as he'd allow.

  Derek laughed. "Sure you are, hot stuff. Stop trying to change the subject and talk to me about college. You need to get a meeting with your advisor to change your major, right? So, put me out of my misery. What's it gonna be? What path is the handsome Mr. Carson going to choose to help make the world a better place?" he asked, looking at me with the most intoxicating smile, it took away my breath.

  I inhaled, looking into his gorgeous eyes before I announced, "I want to change my major to social work. I know it's not glamorous or anything, but after the shit my folks pulled on me after Gerry’s funeral, I'd like to be able to help kids who don’t have anyone looking out for them, just like Andrew needed and had decided he wanted to do. I think I can offer my help because I can relate to them, Derek.

  “I get their sense of hopelessness when they’re told they’re worthless and they’re evil. I understand how they’ve been treated so harshly by people who refuse to even try to understand them and appreciate them for their beautiful differences. I believe I can help them understand how perfect they really are, even in the face of the negativity coming at them from all angles. I had people who were there to support me, Derek, and I want to pay that support forward," I told him.

  My Derek grinned broadly before he picked me up in his strong arms and started down the hallway. "I'll support you with whatever you need, Gray. You know…you should know, anyway, how much I love you. I just want you to be happy with what you want out of life, and if this is your heart’s desire, then it’s mine as well. Anything you need from me? All you gotta do is ask."

  With that, he carried me back to the bedroom and made love to me to the point I thought my heart was going to explode with all the love inside. I fell asleep with a huge smile on my face and contentment in my soul I'd never felt in all of my life. It was all because of Derek Valentine, the man I would love for the rest of my life.

  We didn't decorate the tree or have chicken alfredo that night, but we did on Sunday, and it was one of my favorite days of all time. I was sure we'd have many in the future, and I was looking forward to all of them.

  Thirteen

  Gray

  Standing at an endcap in the drug store near the deli, I was perusing the various offerings when I heard, “Can I help you find anything?” It wa
s the clerk who was restocking paper products, and I guess she noticed the screwed up look on my face.

  “I’m just running through my mental Christmas list,” I told her as I turned to walk away. I’d stopped to pick up some things for stocking stuffers…travel kits, candy, small toys and puzzle books for the Tucker kids, and flavored lubes for Derek, Ty/Kye, and Craig, laughing to myself about how I had to make sure the right things got into the right stockings.

  I was on my way to the haircare aisle to pick up Derek’s favorite shampoo and conditioner because I had plans for us that night and a sexy bath and scalp massage was on the list. Just as I was reaching for some pomade for my unruly hair, someone walked up behind me and put strong hands over my eyes.

  “Guess who?” was whispered in my ear, and I felt myself begin to panic a little because I couldn’t make out who it might be.

  “Uh, I, uh…Craig?” I asked. I was certain it wasn’t Craig Baxter, Derek’s partner, because they were busy at the Precinct, but I had no clue who was behind me. Baxter was the first person who came to mind who might feel free to do something of the sort.

  “Mmm…he’s hot, but he’s not really my type. I prefer a guy more like you,” was whispered as warm, moist breath ghosted over the shell of my ear, scaring the fuck out of me.

  I pulled at the hands, which came down easily enough, and when I turned, I saw David O’Shane, Josh Moore’s ex-boyfriend and one of Derek’s co-workers, or former co-workers? He and Josh had caused a rift, albeit a small one, between Derek and me at a football party a few months prior, and I hadn’t seen nor heard from David since that Sunday. I didn’t think Derek had either.

  “Hey, stranger,” I greeted, giving him a quick hug and remembering something he’d once said to me.

  "That's because you're Derek's wife, Gray. Derek's very much the man in the relationship, no offense, and you're the perfect complement to his personality. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but you do whatever Derek wants.

  "Between Josh and me? We're not really in love like the two of you. Hell, he doesn't even believe gay guys can fall in love. We enjoy each other's company most of the time, but it's mostly a friends-with-benefits arrangement. I guess we're both too lazy to go out and find someone else to have a serious relationship with, so we stick it out.

  "Truth be told, we never agree on much aside from work, and we fight about shit at home. I refuse to submit to his whims, and he refuses to submit to mine. Hell, we fight over who fucks who sometimes. I think we're about to the point where we need to call it off because I think we both want someone like you. Someone who will just agree with the things I want and take care of me. Josh isn't that guy.”

  I remembered, at the time, I thought it was really sad they chose to live that way, so I wasn’t surprised when Derek came home one morning and told me they’d broken up and David had asked for a transfer.

  “Hey, Kiddo. How’s the big guy?” David asked, looking deeply into my eyes. It felt like he was trying to look into my soul, and it made me really uncomfortable. I decided to make it quick and get the fuck away from him.

  “He’s great. He and Craig are working overtime to rack up days off so we can go back to Waco for the holidays. How’ve you been? You’re where now?” I asked, not remembering anyone ever mentioning where he’d landed.

  “I’m working uptown, but I was just looking at a place not far from here because I like the area. I just stopped by get some packing tape for my boxes. The guy I was sharing with got engaged and his fiancé is moving in over the holidays, but I’m excited to get my own place, ya know? Oh, you and Derek share, don’t you?” he asked with a smirk.

  I wasn’t thrilled with the way he put it, so I decided to correct him. “We still live together, yes, and we do share a bed, if that’s what you’re getting at,” I answered, trying to maintain my happy mood from earlier.

  David chuckled. “Still touchy about it, huh? Well, if things don’t work out between the two you, get in touch. I think we could be great roommates,” he said, then he laughed and placed a hand on my cheek, which made me flinch away.

  “Look, David, it’s great to see you, but I really need to get going. I’m filling stockings to take with us for our friends and family, and Derek’s going to be home soon. Call him. I’m sure he’d love to hear from you. Are you seeing anyone?” I asked, hopefully.

  He hesitated then winked. “I’ve got my eye on someone. Take care, Kiddo. Happy holidays,” he told me before he leaned in and kissed my cheek. I was too stunned to move from where I stood in the haircare aisle. I watched in the large mirror over the aisle as he slowly ambled toward the front doors.

  Before he stepped out, he turned to the mirror where I guessed he caught me staring, and he blew me a kiss. He never did stop in the adhesives aisle.

  ##

  I was sitting in Rick and Addy's bedroom helping Addy finish wrapping gifts, and I could tell she had something on her mind. I looked up from tying a bow to see her staring at me. "Miss Addy, what's on your mind, and don't say nothing," I urged. I picked up a box of crayons and coloring book meant for Michael Tucker and waited for her answer.

  "I like your haircut," she started off, which clued me into the fact my haircut was the furthest thing from her mind. She was trying to ease into something, but waiting for Addy Valentine to make her point was like waiting for a wrecking ball to land on my head. I was pretty sure whatever she was going to say wasn’t going to make me happy.

  For Christmas, Maddie Wayne had given me a gift card to a salon on the same block as the deli, so after that odd encounter with David O’Shane at the drug store, I decided to get my hair trimmed, but ended up getting highlights to brighten it a bit before I had it buzzed short on the sides and left longer on top. I was able to artfully sculpt it into a messy do when I wanted to, or I could slick the top back with the pomade I'd purchased at the drug store. The style was great for work or school.

  I'd had a meeting with my advisor and had filled out the paperwork to change my major to social work, which would be effective at the beginning of the next semester. The change was relatively easy, and thankfully, my scholarship wasn't tied to a particular course of study. It was based on my academic abilities, which were still pretty strong. The core classes were much the same until I got further into my program, so it really wasn't an issue for the time being…thankfully.

  I measured out some snowmen gift wrap and grabbed the scissors, cutting off a sheet. I cut it in half and proceeded to wrap the crayons and coloring book separately. I remembered, vaguely, being Michael's age. It wasn't even about the gifts because we only got something from the gift exchange at Sunday School…it was about the destruction of the paper.

  "Thank you. I'm sure that's not what you'd like to discuss," I replied to the compliment to my new haircut.

  Addy sighed heavily and cocked an eyebrow at me. "You're too new to the family to know me so well. Okay, what are you and Derek going to tell the extended family about your relationship? No one knows Derek is gay because I refused to tell them. I believed for years it was just something he was going through, but he's thirty, so I guess it's not a phase any longer, but this will be our last Christmas as a family before things change, what with Cara having the baby and whatever happens between you and Derek. For this last year, I just don't want a lot of drama."

  I’d talked like a Dutch uncle in a failed attempt of getting out of going to Waco because I had suspicions Derek’s mother hadn’t told anyone outside of immediate family (which included the Tuckers) that Derek was gay. The last thing I wanted to do was disrupt their family holiday, and that was the basis of my argument, which I believed I made like a seasoned lawyer. My Derek, however, wouldn't hear of it.

  "Derek, I think it would be best if I didn't go with you to Waco for the holidays. It’s the last one with just the four of you, depending on what Cara does about the baby, and I’d bet money your mother would love to have an intimate Christmas with her family. We have many holidays ahead of us, so
why not give your family this one?" I suggested as I sipped a margarita. I'd made a pitcher of them for us while we were putting up the tree, and they tasted damn good, if I did say so myself.

  Derek was trying to situate the lights, and I could tell he immediately got pissed. His whole body seemed to seize up, and he didn’t turn to look at me immediately. I knew my insecurity with his mother, regardless of how many times she and I spoke on the phone, wasn't diminishing. Anyone would think with the phone conversations we had weekly, we'd be thick as thieves, and I guess to an extent, we were. I still knew there was something about Addy Valentine that wished I wasn't in her son's life, regardless of how much she tried to convince both of us it wasn't the truth.

  He tossed the string of lights at the tree and wheeled on me, anger evident on his face. He started to lash out, but then suddenly, his face calmed and his body relaxed. A wicked smile crossed his handsome face, and I steeled myself for what he was going to try to do to change my mind. If he was going to try to fuck the sense out of me to soften me up (so to speak), I was going to stand strong…hopefully.

  "If that's how you feel, baby boy, then that's what we'll do. A nice quiet Christmas at home, just the two of us, sounds pretty fuckin’ great to me. Next time you talk to Addy, mention it, will you?" he instructed as he turned back to the tree and continued fucking with the lights.

  I took another sip of my drink and swallowed, not sure where he was going with his comment. "I'm not talking about the two of us staying in Houston, Derek. I meant just me. I think she'd appreciate having her immediate family home for Christmas," I explained again, not sure if I was unclear.

  He picked up another box of lights and pulled out the insert, checking the strand at the plug. When he glanced up, he had a cocky grin. "Refresh my memory, will you please? Are we, or are we not, in a serious, monogamous relationship?"