Maybe another time. He hoped.
* * *
Madison nervously smoothed down the black jersey dress for the tenth time. She’d taken great pains with her hair, taming it, getting the curls to behave over her shoulders. Her heartbeat was high and she looked critically in the full-length mirror one more time. The black jersey clung lovingly to her figure in soft folds, the neckline just above the swell of her breasts. Her mother had given her a strand of Tahitian black pearls at her last birthday, and tonight, along with the earrings, she was going to wear them. She felt magical. Transported. The length of the dress was just above her knees and a slender gold metal belt gathered around her waist. Wearing two-inch heels was plenty for her, and she thought she looked okay.
The doorbell rang.
Her stomach clenched. Hurrying out of the bathroom, Madison grabbed her black leather purse and an angora shawl her grandmother had made for her long ago. It was black with fine, thin threads of gold woven through it. Heart in her throat, Madison gulped a breath and opened the door.
“Oh, you look nice,” Madison murmured, her eyes widening. Indeed, to say that Travis cleaned up nicely was barely scratching the surface. He stood in a pair of tan chinos, a white shirt, the collar open at his throat, and a dark blue sportcoat.
Travis nodded. “Darlin’, I don’t have a thing on you.” She looked gorgeous, that generous cloud of blond hair so thick and softly curving over her shoulders, almost touching the tops of her breasts. “That dress really shows you off,” he said, his throat tightening. He felt as though he was looking at a movie starlet, not a horse trainer. And her legs. He was in such trouble, gazing down at her slender legs, those delicate ankles, firm calves, that he swallowed hard. Who knew? Her neck was elegant and he wanted to place a series of kisses along that point pulsing beneath her skin. The black pearls accentuated her throat.
“Thanks,” she whispered, suddenly shy. Travis made her feel feminine. Beautiful. “I’m ready. Are you?”
Groaning to himself, Travis wanted to step into her condo, shut the door, lift her into his arms and haul her directly to the bedroom. He was more than ready. But not for what she had in mind. His mouth curved and he cupped her elbow. “Let’s go.”
Madison watched how the low lighting at the restaurant made Travis’s angular features look dangerous. The Republic had mahogany walls with gold interspersed here and there. The blond wooden floors lightened the popular restaurant. He’d gotten a booth in the corner so that they could look out over the patrons and other tables. He’d ordered a house-made beer and she had a glass of pinot grigio, her fingers around the long-stemmed wine glass. She felt the heat from his body sitting barely twelve inches away from her and hungrily absorbed his nearness. Her nerves dissolved as the evening blossomed.
“I feel like I’m in a time warp,” she admitted softly, holding his gaze. “Two months ago I was sitting on the floor of a dirty cave with you. Now, here we are again, clean, looking beautiful and going out to eat.” She saw him nod and consider her words.
“It will probably take you some time to not feel like half of you is still back there and half is over here.”
“Is that what it’s like for you?”
“All the time.”
“How do you live with it, Travis?”
His eyes grew distant at her question, and then he took another drink of the frosty beer.
“With time, you adjust.”
“How many times have you been over there?”
“Just finished my third rotation.” He noticed the pained look in her eyes. Sympathy, maybe? Madison was so readable. And he wanted to kiss that soft mouth of hers. Travis almost gave in to his desire but stopped. He didn’t want to sway Madison one way or another. She was a Texas gal. If she wanted something, she’d go after it.
“Do you ever get used to it?”
“What? Going overseas?”
“All of it. I just got a bare taste of it and some nights, I wake up screaming.” She avoided his sharp look and took a sip of her wine.
“PTSD,” he grunted. “Welcome to our world. It sucks.”
“Do you have it?”
He grinned. “Most SEALs get it because of our training, Madison.”
“Does it ever go away?”
“Maybe...over time. I still have nightmares from my first tour.” When I almost died. But he didn’t say anything more. The world of a SEAL was top secret. He’d taken a bullet to his left side and damn near lost a kidney. An AK-47 bullet hit him in the side where he had not slid in a ceramic plate on his Kevlar vest. Luckily, he’d pulled through. He saw her expression change. Maybe sadness. “Why do you ask?”
“I can see how badly I’m handling coming down from that trauma. I can’t imagine what you guys go through for six months at a time.”
“Darlin’, we weren’t kidnapped, either. SEALs take the fight to the enemy. We’re the ones putting them in a hurt locker, not the other way around. So stop looking sad, okay?” He leaned over, pressing a kiss to that cloud of blond hair. Travis couldn’t keep his hands off her. It was impossible. He caught the fragrance of jasmine-scented shampoo. He’d held that hair, felt its strength, seen the sunlight glance off the strands. She turned, her dark blue eyes soft. She wanted to kiss him. Groaning inwardly, Travis tried to tell himself to wait. But Madison, being a Texas gal, had made up her mind.
“I’m going to kiss you,” she told him firmly, almost a warning. She leaned over, pressing her mouth against his. He seemed removed, maybe detached from her since they’d sat down. She wasn’t sure why, but her heart told her to kiss him silly and see if it affected him at all.
His mouth melted beneath hers. As she felt his swift intake of breath, she closed her eyes, sliding her hand over his shoulder, wanting more contact with him. His response was warm, exploratory. She inhaled his scent before pulling away. Bare inches between them, her hand on his chest, she asked him softly, “Why did you come here?” Instantly, his eyes narrowed.
“I promised you I’d come and see you, Madison.” Travis wasn’t sure he wanted to tell her the rest of the truth, that he’d never forgotten her, that she inhabited his dreams in the best of ways, that a day didn’t go by when he didn’t think about her. Or want her in his bed. In his arms. He wasn’t sure if he saw disappointment in her expression or not. She nibbled on that soft lower lip of hers and he ached to haul her into his arms and kiss her again.
“We need to catch up,” she said, seriousness in her husky voice. He hadn’t moved, his gaze locked on her. “I’m afraid you’re here only because you promised.” Her voice faltered. “Not because you want to be here.”
His mouth curved ruefully. “Then let me remedy that wondering of yours.” He reached out, drawing her gently into his arms. Travis wanted to give her a chance to pull away, or tell him if she didn’t want to kiss him. Instead, her eyes turned an even darker shade of blue as she lifted her hands and slid them around his neck. His heart hammered with relief while he touched her lips. With feeling. She pressed herself against him and there was no question in Travis’s stunned mind that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
A moan rose in Madison’s throat as she molded her mouth firmly against his. She didn’t want just a faint kiss, she wanted all of him. His mouth scorched hers, his arms anchoring her hard against him. She felt her breasts pressed against his chest, her fingers roaming of their own accord up the nape of his neck, sliding deliciously into his short black hair. His tongue moved sensually against hers, the pleasure of his mouth making her feel limp with need. His breath was warm, ragged against her cheek and his long fingers caressed her hip, pulling her against him, letting her know just how much he wanted her. Another sound caught in her throat as she strained against him.
Slowly, so slowly, Travis reluctantly eased away from her wet lips. They were breathing unevenly as he loosened his grip on her, allowing her to sit up. He saw the burning desire in Madison’s blue eyes. “I guess that invisible thing we had back in Afghanist
an is still with us.” He smiled. She had felt so damn good in his arms.
“It never left me,” Madison admitted, her voice husky with desire.
“It didn’t me, either.” Travis studied her in the growing silence. “I came because I wanted to see you, Madison. Not just a friend visiting. It’s more than that, but I didn’t know if you still felt the same way about me.”
She reached up, touching the hard line of his jaw. “I’m glad, because I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you, Travis, missed your thoughts, the way you see the world.” She gave him a bemused look. “You have no idea....” Because her dreams were of him nearly every night. Her worries for him. Wondering if he would show up here or not, and never wanting anything more in her life than for him to come and visit her.
Grazing her flushed cheek with his thumb, Travis leaned down and kissed her tenderly. “I was hoping you felt like I did. But I didn’t know, Madison.” Until this moment. Euphoria flowed like bright ribbons through him, dissolving his worry, his questions.
Madison pressed her cheek into his open palm, feeling the inherent strength of Travis, his gentleness toward her. “Tell me you’re going to stay a little while.” She looked up, holding his intent gaze.
“I’ll stay as long as you want, darlin’.” Travis wouldn’t push her, wouldn’t try to corral her or force her into anything. The control was in her hands, not his, where it should be. He saw a wicked expression come over her face.
“As long as I want?”
He smiled, liking the impishness in her eyes. “Yes.”
She took his hand. Hers was swallowed up by his. “That’s good to hear because I have a million questions I want to ask you about yourself. It’s going to take a long time....”
Chapter 6
As Travis led Madison up the walk toward her condo, it was nearly midnight. She was content to lean against his body, his arm around her shoulders. The lights were low and the flowers along the walkway made it seem almost mystical to her. Her head rested against his shoulder. She’d never felt happier.
“How many questions did we get out of the way?” Travis asked her.
She laughed softly. “Fifty?”
“Do you know me any better than before?” He looked down to see her smile. He wasn’t sure what Madison was going to do when they reached the door to her condo. He wanted to make love to her. That one kiss hours earlier had sent him into an aching hell of desire.
“Yes. I loved all the stories you told me about your growing-up years on your dad’s ranch. I especially loved the tricks you and your brothers played on one another.” His hand gently touched her shoulder. The soft angora didn’t stop Madison from feeling the heat of his fingers against her upper arm. She lifted her face to his. In the shadowy light, his eyes glittered and Madison could feel him wanting her. Her mouth still tingled in memory of that kiss in the restaurant.
Travis halted at her door and turned her toward him, his hands on her shoulders. Her hair looked like spun gold in the light of the lamp above the red door. Never had he wanted to make love to a woman more. That black dress draped in all the right places, made him crave her with an intense hunger. It was her, he realized. Inside, she was part wild horse, part natural woman and her heart was as open as the wide sky over Texas. He lifted his hand and brushed her cheek, his voice low.
“What do you want to do, Madison? I can kiss you good-night at this door, if that’s what you want.”
She felt her entire body vibrating with anxiety and anticipation as his callused fingers softly explored her cheek, his eyes narrowed upon her, as if he were the hunter and she the quarry. It was a breathtaking sensation. “What do you want, Travis?” His mouth curved faintly.
“Darlin’, this is on you. I came to see you because I want a relationship with you. I have no idea if that’s what you want. If it isn’t, then I’m going to kiss you good-night and I’ll see you over at the stud farm tomorrow morning to share time and space with you.” His voice lowered. “But if you want more with me, Madison, it’s in your hands to make that call.” Her darkened blue eyes softened.
Her voice came out husky with emotions. “Travis, from the moment I met you, I knew there was something special between us. It was more than physical.” And then she gave him an embarrassed look and added, “Not that I didn’t want you to kiss me, not that I didn’t want to make love with you, because I did.” Her brows fell and she slid her hand over his shirt, feeling his skin tense, the muscles leap beneath her exploration. “I can’t explain it. I’ve tried for two months now to figure it out and I haven’t.” She searched his dark eyes. “Part of me is afraid, Travis. I know your job is dangerous. I realize now you’ll be gone more than you’ll be home. I know what it felt like to be torn away from you there at Bagram, being lonely for two months without you in my life.”
He heard her fears and he’d heard them before. Anguish flared in Madison’s eyes. “I didn’t want to leave you there at Bagram,” he managed, his voice strained. “It was the last thing I wanted to do, Madison. But I couldn’t stay. I had orders to return to Bravo.”
Nodding, she dragged in a breath of air. “I worry you’ll be hurt.” She slid her hand around his lower right arm, the material beneath her fingertips. “That bullet wound...”
He nodded. “And watching you with that stallion this morning scared the hell out of me.”
She frowned and searched his shadowed face. “What?”
Travis smiled and cupped her cheek. “You were dealing with a fractious, unpredictable thirteen-hundred-pound piece of horseflesh that could have killed you on a bad day. But you don’t see your job, what you love to do, that way, do you?”
“No...I don’t see that.”
“Be in my boots. See what I’m seeing, Madison. That was one powerful stallion. I know studs. We have a couple on my dad’s ranch. They’re nothing to mess with and you have to be aware around them all the time or bad things can happen fast.”
“Okay,” she murmured. “You’re saying my job, which I love to do, is no less dangerous than yours?”
“I’m trying to draw a parallel,” he told her quietly. “I’ll grant bullets aren’t flying and you’re not out hunting the bad guys, but working around horses isn’t much safer, either.”
“And so,” Madison said, holding his warm gaze, “you’re saying that you’ll worry about me as much I’ll worry about you?” She wanted to reach up and touch that chiseled mouth of his with hers.
“I’m saying that life isn’t assured for any of us, darlin’. We can either run from life, from living because we’re scared or worried about what might happen, or we can acknowledge our fear, but follow our hearts. Does that mean it’s going to be easy? No.”
“Your marriage taught you that?” A flash of pain came onto his face for a moment. Madison realized she had to get beyond her own fear of losing Travis.
“It did. My wife wasn’t willing to take the risks. Before I married her, I tried to explain what it meant to be a SEAL, to be gone for long periods of time. But, frankly, most people can’t take that kind of on-again, off-again lifestyle.” He studied her, hearing the crickets and frogs singing in the night. “Madison, I want to make love with you so damned bad I can taste it, but I’m not willing to push this. I lost a woman I loved very much because I did. I’m not willing to go that route again.”
She felt his heartbreak, the pain that the relationship had caused him. Was she up to taking such a huge risk with her heart? Could she wait months without seeing Travis again? Her fingers curved gently against her palm where it rested on his chest. Lifting her chin, she said in a whisper, “I’ve never lived my life scared, Travis. I’m not starting now....” She broke away, dug for her key in her purse and opened the door. Taking his hand, she said, “Come in.”
Travis took off his sport coat and hung it over the back of the chair in the kitchen. He watched Madison put the purse on the granite-topped island and turn to him. All he saw in her expression was yearning for him. He
walked over to her, sliding his fingers through that mass of gold hair, watching her eyes turn cloudy with desire.
“Okay,” he rasped, “I need to know if you’re protected or not?”
She nodded. “I’m on the pill.” Her whole body felt hot and shaky inside. Travis was serious, looking into her eyes, reading her, making sure this was what she wanted. “No STDs,” she added.
“I’m clean, too. But I’ll wear a condom if you want.”
She touched his jaw. “You aren’t the type to lie, Travis. Remember? I was with you in Afghanistan. I saw you in a lot of different situations and always, you were honest with me.”
“Brutally so, sometimes,” he said, smoothing tendrils of hair away from her eyes.
“I trust you,” Madison quavered. “Because you saved me from dying. It doesn’t get any more real than that, Travis. It never will.”
“Yeah,” he admitted. “You’re right.”
“Come on.” She picked up his hand and led him through the living room, down a carpeted hall to her bedroom. She felt wildly excited, scared. But Madison wanted to take this step with him. As she turned on a small lamp on her cherry dresser and faced him, she knew this was what she wanted, risk or not.
Travis gently unhooked the string of pearls from around her throat. As they fell into his hand, he placed them on the dresser, leaned down and pressed his lips to her throat. He felt her wild pulse beneath his mouth and smiled, sliding his hands to the zipper of her dress. The jersey was soft, pliant, and as he slowly pulled the zipper down to the small of her back, she trembled. It sent an ache through him; his erection was hard, pressing against his pants.
His mouth went to her ear after she’d removed the pearl earrings. He inhaled the sweet scent of her flesh, pushed aside the thick strands of her hair as he nibbled one of the lobes. Madison’s breath hitched and she pressed against him, her breasts against his chest. Groaning, Travis eased the black jersey fabric aside. Her shoulders were beautiful and he kissed her slender neck and then slowly moved his lips across it, feeling her tense and sigh. Her fingers dug into his chest as he lowered his mouth to her collarbone.
Course of Action: Out of Harm's WayAny Time, Any Place Page 8
