She thought that when she finally spirit-bonded with a mate all her questions would be answered. She’d have a chance to finally connect to one of her own kind. Maybe he could tell her what her purpose was. Why was she a goddess who reincarnated in the mortal world lifetime after lifetime? What was she meant to do? She must have figured this out in prior lifetimes, but she couldn’t tap her spirit memories easily. She needed answers for her present life.
All she got was more questions, confusion, and an agonizing choice. Two men owned her heart but she was just one girl. She had to pick one of them to go to.
She’d seen Maximon’s skyscraper in her dream. She knew where he was. This other jaguar deity was in some jungle, probably outside the USA. How could she ever find him?
Maximon was her only choice.
She lied to her mom about a job in New York. Her flushed face was just due to how excited she was. She claimed the made-up job was entry-level, but they were giving her a room in company housing. She even lied and said they bought her a plane ticket, when she’d actually wiped out her own bank account to buy the quickest flight she could afford.
I’ll be fine, mom. Just drive me to the airport.
Nothing could have stopped her, but she didn’t want her parents to worry. This was what she needed to do. She was dying every moment of every day that she kept away from her spirit-bonded mates.
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Chapter 3
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Michelle sat on a white leather couch in an industrial loft that looked like something out of a magazine. The ceilings were too high with exposed ductwork and the floor was polished concrete. Next to her was a wall of metal framed windows that had probably once belonged to a factory. It was chilly, with multiple radiators fighting to fill a ridiculously expansive space with heat. Michelle was too tense to relax on the stiff couch.
Was Maximon really the right choice? She chewed her fingernail. Even now she was craving the arms of Votan, her jungle jaguar. Well, she craved the arms of Maximon, too. Damn it. How could he leave her alone? Wasn’t he suffering as much as she was?
Dom had brought her there, showed her where the kitchen was, and left her. Now she sat and she waited, only opening her suitcase to take out a knit shawl.
This sucks.
After a while she got up and explored. There were small rooms opposite the windows. One was a den with a bookshelf. The Books of B’alam caught her eye. She plucked it from the shelf and sat in a small armchair to read.
Maximon had dismissed Caquix’s attack on her with a few words, but she was still fighting off tendrils of fear. What if the creep came after her again?
Caquix was a demon from the dark world that existed beneath the spirit-world. Michelle knew about this other world well enough—it was where all the pesky monkey demons came from. Apparently Caquix had many brides and thousands of children. He was subdued by twin gods long ago, but could never entirely be destroyed.
What the Hell does he want now? And why had he tried to kidnap her?
It was a pity. Caquix was one of her godly kin. If he wasn’t so damned creepy she would have liked to get to know him better.
Somehow she knew that was overly naïve. He might have looked like a man, but what she felt from him was terrifying.
Michelle took her jaguar form and went back into the main open area to recline on the couch. She’d go into the spirit world and see if she could tap into the essence of her goddess form for any memories of Caquix. It was probably going to be futile. The stream was too overwhelming to withstand for long. Still…doing nothing in response to the encounter was foolish. If she needed to act then this was the only way to learn what to do.
Her cat form always fell asleep quickly. She entered the spirit world and swam above the stream of her light essence.
First she checked to see if any demons were annoying her parents. The things looked like small monkeys with short deformed limbs. She loved to sic her claws and teeth into the little monsters. Once she ripped apart one that was going to cause her father to get into a car accident. Then there was another one that meant to get her mom fired from her work. She didn’t understand how she knew these things—it was just a spirit power she was able to tap into. Of course she’d destroy any demon out to hurt the people she loved.
She waded her paws around the stream of light looking for any dark spots where a demon would emerge. This was procrastination, she knew. Eventually she was just going to have to dive into it. The prospect made her tense inside. Her godly essence was so overwhelming she could never endure it for long. She knew if she let it consume her she would become the goddess Ixchel completely. It seemed so much easier just live her life as the human Michelle.
Far ahead of her, on the horizon of the stream, she saw a dark figure much too large to be one of the monkey demons. She got an instinctive jolt of terror. Anything bigger than a monkey demon represented more evil than she’d ever encountered in this world. As she stared at the form she realized she didn’t sense any evil. Her feet began to move toward it without her willing them.
The figure became clear quickly, because it was moving towards her. It was a beautiful male jaguar, huge and majestic, slinking toward her with his hypnotic yellow eyes locked on her.
Votan!
She stopped moving toward him and sat on her haunches. If her cat form was able to make human expressions her jaw would have been dropped open.
‘Ixchel…why have you gone to Maximon?’ His mouth didn’t move as the words came forth. He was speaking with his spirit voice. ‘You’re my spirit-bond. You must be with me.’
Oh my God, how awkward. How could she explain this? She didn’t even understand it herself.
‘I don’t know why—but I’m spirit-bonded to both you and Maximon this time.’
Votan stopped moving toward her. She could sense a smoldering cauldron of emotion emanating from him. She almost wanted to back away.
His eyes grew pinched. ‘And you chose to go to that disgraceful profiteer, instead of me?’
Disgraceful profiteer?
‘It’s not like that. You see—’
Votan leapt at her with a roar.
Holy shit!
Michelle scampered back, but the massive beast collided into her, somersaulting them over the stream. She struggled to get back onto all fours. Votan bit her scruff and her limbs became weak. Then she realized he was mounting her.
Immediately, and with instinct rather than thought, she crouched to present herself. The penetration she braced for never happened.
He got off her, but she remained in the compliant position for more.
‘See, Ixchel? Your spirit knows you belong to me. I’m coming for you.’
He leapt into the stream of light and vanished.
Michelle woke and took her human form. Her hand went to her crotch, which felt like it was throbbing. Her body still felt lit up by the feeling of his muscles over her smaller frame. Her hunger returned to the fore.
Then she grimaced. That was more forcefulness than she’d want to deal with as a human. They may have been spirit-bonded, but she wasn’t his possession. How would she deal with him if this is how he treated her in all forms?
Damn it.
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Chapter 4
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It was dark outside the windows and Maximon still wasn’t back. Michelle found a guest bedroom and stowed her belongings. Then she made use of the shower. Once finished, and feeling somewhat refreshed, she was crestfallen to see he still wasn’t back.
A phone started to ring. It took her half a minute to find it on the wall of the kitchen.
“Hello?”
“Ixchel, it’s Max.”
She twirled
the cord. “Oh. Hi.”
“Is that really your name by the way?”
“It’s Michelle Nacan.”
“Max Silver-Light. Hyphenated. Capital L.”
Oh my God, who cares! Why aren’t you here?
“I’m not going to be coming home tonight.”
She craned back her head with an expression of disgust.
“I have to stay at work. Believe me, it’s the last thing I want.”
She cleared her throat. “Sure. I understand.” She forced all the annoyance out of her tone. “I just arrived out of the blue. I don’t expect you to drop everything just to see me.”
“Well, good. I’m glad you understand. In a way this is ideal. We’re already in love and locked together for life. We may as well just get married. That is, once I get a little bit more of your background.”
“Actually, if you have just a minute, there’s something we should talk about.”
“Please don’t take my proposal lightly. I’m one of the most eligible bachelors in New York. You can see I’m extremely successful, correct? I’m trying to accept this love voodoo. It’s not as though I can fight it. I can be miserable, or I can embrace it. I’m trying to do the latter, Michelle.”
Michelle waited. Was he done? She gave the self-important man a second to make sure.
“Max, I spirit-bonded to both you and Votan this time. Votan knows I’m here and he’s coming for me.”
The line went silent.
Finally Max said, “How can you be bonded to both of us?”
“I don’t know. It’s never happened before.”
“Why. The hell. Is Votan coming?” His voice grew loud. “You picked me.”
“I didn’t pick anyone. You were just the easiest one to find. I’m bonded with both you and Votan, and I’m going to be with both of you.”
“No. I don’t think you are. Votan is a jungle cat. Completely feral. Even his human form is like an animal.”
“You know each other?”
She heard him fume. “How is this going to work?”
“The two of you will share me.”
Now he seethed through what sounded like clenched teeth. “I’m about to lose my temper, so I’m going to hang up, Michelle. Please make yourself at home. There should be some left over veal in my fridge. I eat it raw. Cook it if you want.” He started to yell. “Votan is not allowed in my home! Do not open the door to him!”
“I’ll just go outside to meet him then. Because I need him, just as much as I need you. As much as you need me.”
“Goodbye, Michelle.”
He hung up.
She placed the phone back on the receiver. It felt like a lump of ice was pressing on her middle.
Fuck.
She went to the kitchen with a sigh and placed the raw meat in a bowl. Then she put the bowl on the floor, transformed, and tore into it with her teeth and claws. Going primal, as she called it, was comforting. It removed her by several degrees from the problems of her human form.
The only downside was that she had to remain in jaguar form as the food passed through her stomach, otherwise she risked getting food poisoning. This meant having to perch on a toilet in cat form to pee.
After that she went into the spare bedroom and burrowed into the blankets. Even when she was stressed she always fell asleep fast in her jaguar form.
She was woken near dawn by the sound of a shower going. Michelle padded out on all fours to the master bedroom. Max burst out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel on his hips. He was scrubbing his wet hair with another towel. He wasn’t as thick with muscles as Votan was, but it was clear he worked out. Michelle admired his defined abs.
When he caught sight of her he froze.
“I feel like I have a pet.”
Michelle transformed back into a human. She raked her fingers through her mussed hair.
Max looked her up and down while mouthing words she couldn’t hear. He seemed to be arguing with himself. Then he threw down the hair towel and strode for her.
Michelle stepped back and lifted a hand to make him halt. He stumbled to catch his stride. The tendons in his neck strained.
“I know,” she said. “I feel it too. But if this is going to happen we need to talk first. If you don’t have time to talk then you don’t have time for this.”
He closed his eyes and swallowed audibly. Then he nodded. “Let me get some clothes on.”
“Yeah.” She looked down at her crumpled tunic. “I’ll change too.”
They reconvened several minutes later at the kitchen table. It was made of polished metal and looked like it belonged in a meat packing facility. Max had put on grey sweatpants with a tie string, but left his sexy chest and torso bare. Michelle knew they were thinking along the same lines. She wore a violet chemise and satin pajama shorts. Only her long shawl kept the pebbled shape of her areolas from showing through the thin fabric.
She never dressed like this around strangers. One serious high school boyfriend and a short college fling filled the entire list of her sexual history. But, then, this was her spirit-bonded. With the ache in her loins, the hunger in her flesh, and the need in her heart, she couldn’t fathom them avoiding sex for long.
Max poured them both some coffee.
“Don’t you need to sleep?” she said.
He sat perpendicular to her. “I take cat naps in the office. Literally.” He sipped. “I actually haven’t been home in two days.”
Michelle blinked at him. “What’s going on at your work?”
He let out a breath that made his shoulders sink. “Good question.” He eyed her. She saw yellow jaguar eyes. She wondered what the rest of the world saw. “Strange. I’ve never told the truth about what I do to anyone before. Now you’re here, and I can’t think of a reason not to tell you. It’s surreal—being around one of my kind.”
“I know.” She sipped. No cream or sugar? Gross! Okay, stop Michelle. You’re a big girl now. Focus.
“I manage a hedge fund. It does so well that I’ve been investigated twice on suspicion of a Ponzi scheme, but it’s actually a legitimate fund. It does well because when I invest in a company I go into the spirit world and destroy any demons causing the company problems. My investments always soar, and it’s made me and my investors a great deal of money.”
Michelle listened without allowing any judgment to register on her face. It struck her as dishonorable to use their connection with the spirit world to make money.
“This last week, right when this…” He gave a flippant gesture. “…spirit-bonding started, my companies started getting bombarded with demons.” He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with his hand. “I’ve been genuinely going out of my mind trying to keep up. It doesn’t seem to matter what I buy. Demons are flooding the stream. Not just marmosets. For the first time since the Great Recession I’m seeing howlers, mongrels, and even snout-less crocs.”
Michelle’s eyes bulged.
“When there gets to be so many of them, so many large ones hoarded together, I have to give up. I sell the stock and start over with another.” He leaned back in his chair and sighed. “I don’t comprehend what’s happening. It’s never been this severe before. Even my safe bets are overwhelmed with demons.”
“Is it the economy?”
He shook his head. “I don’t see that. The last time we had a downturn the signs were everywhere. Housing prices, labor market, unemployment rates. Even then I always had something that was doing well. Something I could manipulate to make it do even better. This time—it’s unfathomable. And I honestly don’t even have time to think about it. I’m day-trading on three computer screens at once trying to keep up with everything.”
“I’m sorry. That sounds incredibly stressful.”
He nodded solemnly.
“But it’s Saturday, right? The markets are closed now.”
Max stretched. “My portfolio is teaming with demons. I don’t get time to breathe anymore. I need to clean up my principle sto
cks before the Shanghai market opens tomorrow.”
“Can I help?”
He looked at her. “You mean join me in my stream?”
She nodded. She saw twinkling stars once or twice far above her stream that she had sensed were other B’alam entities. All she had to do was fly to the nearest one, right?
“You don’t have any issues with the…ethics of the matter?”
“Well…”
He gave an acrimonious laugh. “Some of our kind think what I do is disgraceful.”
Oh.
“I don’t really have enough perspective to judge you,” she said. “For now all I know is that it upsets me to see you struggling so much, and I want to help you.”
He placed his hand on hers. Once again the felt a scintillating shock of chemistry. Her hand thrummed where their flesh connected and the rest of her body ached for more.
“You’re already being more understanding than I deserve. You know, I try to be a good person, but my work consumes me at times. Since we have to be mates, it’s good to know you’ll have my back. That’s what I need in my life.”
She smiled. Warm flutters percolated in her belly.
His eyes shimmered. “I’ll fight better once I’m no longer distracted by this need for you.”
Her long eyelashes tipped downward. “Max. I know it’s an upsetting subject, but I’m going belong to both you and Votan. I need to know you can accept this.”
She heard him exhale through his nostrils. “What if I can’t, Michelle?”
She drew her hand away from him, snapping the precious connection. “I’m going to be with both of you. I can’t exist any other way. The only question is whether I’m with you both at the same time, or if you’re going to take turns with me.” She paused to swallow. “If you don’t accept Votan into your home, then I have to leave with him. It will be his turn.”
Max spoke slowly and clearly. “He doesn’t have a home, Michelle. He lives in the Yucatan jungle.”
“I’m a jaguar. That’s my ideal habitat.”
Mated to the Jaguars - Paranormal M/F/M Menage Page 2
