I have a smile on my face that shows no signs of fading. I look him over, and I feel so lucky to have him. These sentimental little moments show sides of James’s personality that only I get to see. He’s usually just flirty and charismatic, but I get a glimpse at what else lies in his heart.
I blink myself out of this supreme appreciation and eye the food. “Um, tortellini first, and then I wanna try some of those wings because they look amazing.” I’m practically drooling.
We pass each other the containers and enjoy the delicious food. The view is spectacular, the food is spectacular, and the company is spectacular. This has turned out to be such a wonderful night.
“This was a really fucking awesome idea, James,” I say appreciatively, eating my last bite of tiramisu.
“Thanks, kid.” He grins proudly.
“This is like…something I’d wish my boyfriend would do. But any guy I’d date probably wouldn’t even think of something like this,” I add. “This is, like, movie-level sweet.”
“This is what you deserve, Lo,” he says warmly, “and any guy who wouldn’t do something like this for you isn’t worth your time.”
I don’t know how to respond. I can’t put my appreciation and gratitude into words. I didn’t know he had this kind of pseudo-romantic thoughtfulness in him, let alone that I’d get to see it. I want to hold his hand or jump into his arms like something out of a movie where the music swells and the couple says some cliché romantic tag line to each other.
We blow out the candles and put the empty containers back in the bag, which he puts in his car so as not to attract any wildlife. He knows I’ve got no chance running from anything in heels, and while he’s tough, he’s in no position to fight off the sizable black bears that tend to sniff out human food up here.
He comes back onto the rock and sits really close to me, wrapping both his arms around me as a light breeze blows my long hair toward him. I lean my head on his shoulder, and he puts his cheek to my forehead. We stay like that for a while, not saying anything, just looking out at the town below us. Except for my mom, none of those people down there matter to me as much as James does, and I know he feels the same way.
“I missed you a lot, Lola,” he whispers to me before he kisses the side of my head.
“I missed you a lot too,” I softly reply, curling into him a little more. “Things are just shitty when you’re not around.”
He looks down at me and gives me a sweet, warm, tender smile. “So tell me, how does some perfect little angel like you decide you want to be best friends with a guy like me?”
“Oh, stop it,” I say, giggling. “You’re a good guy, and I’m glad that you want to be friends with me. You could have been spending tonight in bed with some sorority chick, but instead you’re up here having a picnic with a high schooler in a cheap prom dress.”
He laughs and kisses my forehead. “You know I’d rather spend time with you than anybody else,” he softly replies.
Again, I’m speechless. He’s defied my imagination with these heartfelt proclamations. I always knew our friendship meant a lot to him, but hearing him express it like this is so special that it nearly brings a tear to my eye. I try to find words to tell him that this means just as much to me, but I can’t even articulate it. He sees that he’s knocked me—a normally very verbose girl—off my axis, and he gives me a grin. He reaches down and holds my hand, weaving his fingers through mine. He knows. I don’t have to tell him how much I care because he already knows.
We only return when it starts getting really late. My mom knows I’m safe with James, but she might start to worry if she wakes up in the middle of the night and neither of us are anywhere to be found.
We pull up in front of his parents’ house, and he walks me to my door. I unlock it, and I see that my mom has already gone to bed. I turn to say goodbye to James, but I don’t want him to go.
“Come in, okay?” I whisper.
He nods and follows me to my bedroom, where I quietly close the door and flick on the lamp on the nightstand. I grab my makeup remover wipes and get the mascara, blush, and eye shadow off my face, feeling lighter with each swipe. Nothing makes me feel more gross than sleeping in my makeup, and I’m relieved to take it off because it means that I’ve survived prom and the next milestone is graduating and getting out of this town.
“I’m gonna get my pajamas on,” I whisper. “I’ll be right back.”
He kicks off his shoes, and he lies back on my bed as I shut my closet door behind me and put on some pajama shorts and a tank top instead of this now-dirty orange gown.
I emerge and crawl under the sheets, flicking off the lamp so the only light coming in the room emanates from the window facing the porch light at James’s house next door.
“Do you want me to stay over?” he whispers with surprise as he props himself up on his elbow beside me.
I nod my head. “My mom won’t come in without knocking because she’ll know I want to sleep in after the late night. I can sneak you out in the morning.”
He gives me a grin. He loves getting me into trouble, and he’s totally thrilled that I’m taking this risk. In reality, it’s hardly a risk at all. I’m sure my mom wouldn’t exactly love the idea of James sharing my bed, but I don’t think it would start World War III or anything. She knows that nothing’s going on between us, so there’s no reason to worry.
“Lo,” James whispers, “is it gonna freak you out if I take my pants off?”
I cover my mouth to try to stifle my snickering. “Do you have underwear on? Because if you’re free ballin’ it then yes, that will definitely freak me the fuck out.”
“I have underwear on,” he says, chuckling quietly. “I just don’t want to sleep in my jeans, so I want to take them off and cuddle with you, but I didn’t want to make you feel weird about it.”
“All right.” I giggle.
He unbuttons and unzips his jeans, tossing them over the decorative metal footboard of my bed before he gets under the covers with me. My mom’s got the air conditioner blasting, since it gets so hot in the living room when the morning sun pours in, and the vent facing my bed makes it freezing in my room at night. I’m cold, but James scoots up close to me and his body heat warms me. My back is up against his chest as he spoons me and drapes his arm over me. We slept like this a few times when we were little, and it always gives me a subconscious wave of contentment and relaxation, like I’m safe and sound. If I were a cat, I’d start purring and kneading the pillow.
“James,” I whisper, turning my head so I can look back at him.
“Yeah, kid,” he softly replies.
“Thank you…for making tonight so special for me,” I say. “The picnic was really beautiful, and I really appreciated it.”
“Anything for you, kid.” He smiles warmly and kisses my cheek.
With that, I lie my head down on the pillow and feel calm and content as I fall asleep with James cuddling me.
Chapter 7
James
THAT EARLY, ORANGEY, SUNRISE light is just starting to peek into Lola’s window when I open my eyes. Everything’s quiet this early in the morning on a weekend. My eyes pan from the window to the angelic beauty sleeping beside me. Whoa! I spent the night with Lola. It’s been years since I’ve slept in a girl’s bed without fucking her first. Last night was one of the best nights I can remember, but I wasn’t out getting laid; I was just chillin’ with my best friend. It kind of blows my mind that I could enjoy spending the night with such a pretty girl without sex involved.
I stretch, and Lola starts to wake up. She turns so she’s on her back, and she looks at me with cute, sleepy eyes and a big smile. She looks down and sees that I have no shirt on, and she gives me a smirk.
“What?” I chuckle quietly. “I got too hot in the middle of the night.”
“You just had to strip down to almost nothing while you slept in my bed, huh?” she teases.
I did get too warm last night, mostly because I was holdin
g her close and I didn’t want to let her go. But I’ll admit, part of me did want to make it even better by getting naked with her. I’ve still got my boxer briefs on, but other than that, I’m in the buff.
“You’ve got some sort of problem with your best friend being almost naked in your bed?” I joke.
She looks down at my body and pats my abs as she giggles. “Well, not really, I guess.”
I chuckle and pull her against me, wrapping my arm around her. We’re both on our sides, facing each other, and she’s nuzzled under my neck with her arm around me. Our legs are tangled together, and we’re about as close as two people can get. It feels oddly romantic. I’ve never really done this before, just had a cuddle with a girl. My cuddling usually leads to making out, which usually leads to feeling up, which eventually leads to some part of me going inside some part of her, so this tender moment is foreign to me, but I really dig it.
“What time is it?” She yawns, turning toward the clock on her nightstand.
I can see it over her shoulder, so I reply, “It’s six thirty-eight.”
“It’s too early,” she sighs and closes her eyes like she’s going to go back to sleep.
“You know I have to go back home soon,” I say quietly. “What if your mom wakes up? I don’t know how she’d feel about this.”
I look down at our bodies pressed together, me with no shirt and her in a tiny tank top. If Theresa came in the door, it would look like I was naked and that me and Lola had a lot more than a picnic last night.
“Good point,” Lola agrees, giving my body a slightly flirty scan.
She runs her hand from my stomach up my chest and then wraps her arm around my shoulder, pulling me tighter against her. It’s a surprising turn of events, and I can tell she’s feeling the romantic calm of this morning too.
As I look at her, all sleepy and smiley, I kind of want to kiss her. What would that be like? Me and Lola have messed around a little bit in the past, but I’ve only ever kissed her neck a few times, never actually kissed her for real. It’d probably be too much. We have such a tight bond anyway that, if things did turn sexual, it’d be really intense. She’s the kind of girl you fall in love with. If I kissed her, I’d want to have sex with her, but you don’t have sex with someone like Lola. You have to make love to a girl like her. It would put us both in a weird situation, since I’ve been constantly telling her not to sleep with anybody unless she’s in love. She’d probably assume it was all a line of bullshit, like some master plan I’ve carried out for a decade just to try to fuck her. Kissing her would make everything all weird, so I decide to put it out of my head.
I brush her hair behind her ear before I sit up. I put my pants back on and pull my T-shirt back over my head as she reluctantly crawls out from under the covers. Very quietly, we open the bedroom door and creep downstairs to the basement door, the one I always used to sneak in and out of when we were younger.
I reach out to hold Lola’s hands for a minute before she stands up on her toes and throws her arms around me.
“That was the best night ever,” she sweetly whispers.
“For me too,” I quietly reply, wrapping my arms around her little waist and holding her close.
Again, I get that weird desire to kiss her, but I block it out.
“Want to see a movie or something this afternoon?” she asks.
“Totally.” I nod before I take a second to look in her eyes. Beautiful. Really beautiful. Goddamn! Lola’s, like, the most gorgeous girl I know. “All right, kid, I gotta go,” I say, trying to shake off this romantic vibe I’m feeling for her. “I’ll call you later today.”
“Okay,” she replies and I can tell she wants to kiss me too.
I can’t let it happen, even though my heart’s beating a mile a minute right now. There’s a slightly awkward pause between us as we both obviously try to squash our feelings.
“See you later, kid,” I say softly as I kiss her cheek. I turn toward the door, but then I turn back to her and give her a grin. “Oh, by the way, your tit popped out of your tank top while you were sleeping last night, and I totally saw your nipple.” I smile, lightening the mood.
She gasps loudly and grabs her chest. I give her a wink and leave her with that little chestnut as I cross the lawn to my house.
I’m laughing to myself as I reach for the spare key and unlock the basement door at my parents’ house. I quietly step inside, being extra careful to silently shut the door behind me. I walk up the stairs as quietly as I can to make my way to my bedroom, but I stop in my tracks when I hear noises coming from the dining room. It sounds like a woman crying, but it takes me a few seconds to realize that it’s my mom.
I panic and rush up the stairs. Is she okay? Is she hurt? Did something happen? I burst into the kitchen to see Mom crying at the table. Dad’s sitting in front of her holding her hand, and they both turn to look at me when I enter the room. Dad’s jaw is clenched and his hands are balled into fists as he scowls at me. Mom starts fully weeping, and Dad reaches for his laptop, which is open on the table. I think I know what’s coming. This is not good.
“Do you want to explain this?” he practically growls as he holds the laptop out to me.
There’s a porn site up on his browser, and my stomach drops. I feel like I’m going to puke. They’ve discovered a video clip from a shoot I did about a month ago. It was me and two girls. It was very hardcore. It’s basically the worst thing my parents could possibly see.
“How could you?” Mom sobs.
I feel like my legs are going to give out underneath me. My jaw has dropped open, but I can’t summon any words. My mouth is dry, and there’s this burning sensation spreading all through my chest.
“This is what you’re doing out there in California?” Dad shouts. “You went out there to try to be in movies and this is what you became? You had a good life here, but no, no you wanted to show off and move out to Hollywood to become something special. Well, for twenty bucks a month, now everybody can see how special you are.”
“Dad, I—” I manage to say before he cuts me off.
“Shut the fuck up, James!” He spits like a cobra. “Don’t you say a fucking word!”
“Please, you guys,” I start to say, “let me…I can explain.”
I look from my dad to my mom, and she holds her head in her hands as she breaks eye contact with me. It cuts me so deep to see her cry like this.
Dad slams the laptop closed so hard that he nearly breaks the screen. He stands from his chair and gets right up in my face like he’s going to hit me.
“You’re a goddamned disgrace to this family!” he yells, his eyes blazing with anger like I’ve never seen before. He grabs me by the back of my neck and jerks my head toward him. “Do you hear me? You’re a failure!”
My eyes sting and my throat burns and I can feel myself start to cry. This can’t be happening! This has to be some kind of bad dream!
“Mom, please.” My voice trembles as I look to my mom for help.
“Don’t you try to get her to sympathize with you!” he shouts right in my face. “You broke your mother’s heart, James!”
I swallow hard, and I feel like there’s a rock in my stomach. Those words kill me. I broke my mom’s heart. Nothing could feel worse.
Dad lunges at me and gives me a shove before he smacks me hard on the side of my head.
“Jon!” Mom screams.
I hold out my arm to block him. My dad’s a big dude and he’s strong as hell. I’m sure it would hurt if he really did try to punch me, but he’s not going full force. Mom stands up from the table and grabs onto him to calm him down. He steps back from me, and he’s huffing like he could breathe fire.
“Do you have any idea what an impact this is going to have on this family?” Dad growls, literally shaking with anger. “How are your mother and I supposed to show our faces when everyone knows our son is fucking girls on the Internet for the whole goddamned world to see?”
“Not everyone knows,
” is the only response I can think of.
“Well, a whole lot of people do know, obviously, because I got emails about it from three of our friends!” he shouts.
I feel bad. I know that had to be so embarrassing for him. And my poor mom! She had to be devastated.
“I’ve always known you were trouble, but I didn’t expect this, James,” Dad snarls. “You’re a fuckup, you always have been, but this is a new low, even for you.”
I’m so upset, but I feel myself getting pissed off too. He’s not even giving me a chance to defend myself, to explain. He’s saying all these things about me, and he’s taking it to the extreme. I wasn’t the best kid, but I was never as bad as he’s making me seem.
“I have to run a fucking business! Did you ever think of that, you selfish, immature, irresponsible little shit?” The vein in his forehead is bulging, and his face is completely red.
“You’re playing pool boys who fuck housewives on the job! What are people going to say when Laird Landscaping comes to do their yards? They’re going to think you were fucking their wives while we trimmed their trees!”
“I was, Dad!” I shout back.
“Oh, Jesus!” Mom wails.
“You know that I was, so don’t try to act like what I’m doing is a big surprise!” I yell as I stare him down.
“You shut your mouth right now, boy!” he snarls.
“Don’t try to act like you never put that together! You didn’t think it was weird that I never did any of the work, but I got all the tips?” I snap back. “You knew exactly what I was doing when I went in the house with those women! You had no problem with it because they kept paying us. Fuck, Dad! We did Mrs. Landry’s yard seven fuckin’ times! You never wondered why she had you trim her fuckin’ trees three times in a week?”
“You little—” He lunges at me again, but Mom stands up and pulls him back with all her strength.
“Jon! Stop it!” she hollers. “Hitting him isn’t going to make any of this go away!”
Vice, Virtue & Video: Revealed (The Vice, Virtue & Video Series) Page 7
