It’s mid-afternoon, and James has been wallowing in misery for several hours. I want to get him out of the house. Maybe some fresh air will do him good, plus he won’t have to be haunted by the image of his parents’ house from the window. I propose that we go for a hike at the park at the foot of the mountain by our neighborhood. He agrees, and we walk up the street and onto the path that leads up to the steeper area where people rock climb. He was happy last night when we were up in the mountains, away from everything, so I want to take him someplace similar to help him get centered.
We sit down on a big boulder at the base of the mountain, and I put my arm around him and rub his back softly.
“This day is so fucked up,” he says, his voice gravely from crying. “I went from being, like, the happiest I’ve ever been this morning to feeling like total shit in about five minutes.”
I don’t want to dwell on the negative, so I sweetly ask, “You were the happiest you’ve ever been this morning?”
“For sure.” He smiles at me. “Last night was so fun, and I really liked sleeping over. We haven’t done that in a long time, and I missed that.”
“Same.” I nod, looking back at him with a warm smile of my own. “I always liked our two-person slumber parties.”
“Everything felt good yesterday, like, just really right, you know? And then that whole thing just exploded,” he replies.
“It’s painful right now,” I say in a comforting tone, “but it’ll get better. Besides, we’re having a sleepover again tonight, so the world hasn’t turned to shit entirely, right?”
He laughs lightly, since he’s still too hurt to laugh hard, and he gives me a squeeze. “Although,” he says with a little glimmer of that smart-ass grin that I love so much, “Theresa doesn’t seem too keen on us having slumber parties anymore.”
I snicker. “You noticed that, huh?”
“I’m banished to the guest bedroom now,” he says with a slight smile. “No more crashing in your room.”
“If you found out your teenage daughter was sharing her bed with a charming, sexy porn star, would you believe they were just sleeping?” I counter.
“Good point,” he says with a chuckle. “So…do you really think I’m charming and sexy?”
I flush and turn my head to look out at the park below. “Wow, I think I just saw a hawk fly by,” I say, very conspicuously changing the subject.
He laughs harder now and gives me a smirk. “You totally do. You so totally think I’m hot.”
“You so totally need to shut up!” I pretend to scowl.
“Hey, it’s no big deal,” he teases with a shrug. “You can’t hate on somebody for telling the truth, right?”
I roll my eyes, and he snickers. He’s feeling lighter, and that makes me really happy.
“It’s all right,” he continues. “You’re hot too, so it all works out.”
Now I blush and feel bashful. He compliments me all the time, but even though he’s joking around right now, it feels really genuine.
“You know Keegan’s been jackin’ it to you for years?” he throws out like it’s nothing.
“What?” I gasp, which makes him laugh heartily.
“Yeah, when I had lunch with him he said he thinks about you when he jacks off,” he says with that classic James Laird mischievous grin.
“Dude…gross!” I say, scrunching my nose.
“And I’m guessing a bunch of other dudes do it too,” he goads me. “You’re so hot that I bet you most of the dudes you see on a daily basis have jerked off thinking about you at one time or another. So, basically, every dude you talk to has probably imagined fucking you at some point. Vividly. We’re talking really graphic stuff. Just think about that, huh?” he jokes.
I make a whining sound and slump forward, covering my face with my hands as my cheeks sting with embarrassment.
“I love making you all shy like this.” He laughs and pulls me into his chest. I pretend to punch him at first, but I eventually lean in and rest my head on his chiseled pecs.
He’s in a much more jovial mood by the time we’re ready to walk back to my house, but I can tell there’s a huge ocean of pain below the surface. I take extra care to be cheerful and upbeat as I joke around with him to distract him from looking at his parents’ house when we get to our block.
We spend the next several hours in the basement as James volunteers to help me study. Putting his mind to a task seems to help because he doesn’t look as depressed while he’s concentrating on my schoolwork. He’s got a proud, accomplished smile on his face by dinnertime, and I’m feeling a lot more at ease as I watch him get happier by the hour.
My mom lets him hang out in my room—with the door open—and we watch the South Park movie as we lounge on my bed. I nearly laugh every time she sneaks a glance in the room as she’s passing through the hallway. My room sits between the hallway bathroom and the guest bedroom, so there’s no reason she would need to walk by so many times, but she’s nervous about leaving me alone with James, and I know she wants to keep an eye on us. I don’t think she would have cared half as much before she found out he was doing porn, but she’s trying to be subtle about it and not make him feel bad.
Evening finally arrives, and I’m wiped out. James and I both slept only a few hours yesterday after our late-night, post-prom picnic. I’m sure he’s doubly exhausted from the emotionally taxing day he’s endured. At around nine o’clock, he decides to get ready for bed. He takes a shower in the hallway bathroom, and I head to my bathroom to brush my teeth.
I’m stopped in the hallway by my mom, whose eyes are darting around suspiciously like we’re two spies coordinating on top secret intel.
“Did you know about this porn thing?” she whispers very quietly.
“I knew a little about it,” I admit. “I didn’t want to tell anybody because I knew this is exactly what would happen.”
“I’m going to ask you something, honey, and I want you to be completely honest with me. I won’t get mad. I just want the truth,” she says dramatically. “Has James ever…done anything to you?”
“No!” I say, laughing quietly at the outrageousness of the question.
A few years ago, he spontaneously felt me up when we had a quick moment alone during a pool party at Keegan’s house, but that was a rare outlier, not at all the norm.
“You can tell me the truth,” she says again, giving me a look like she’s an FBI interrogator and she’ll be able to detect even the slightest hint of a lie. “Have you guys ever been…intimate? Are you being safe? Please tell me you’re using protection.”
“Oh, my God, Mom!” I whine. “I’ve never had sex with James. I’ve never had sex with anybody,” I bashfully reply, which seems to draw a relieved sigh from her. “It’s not like that. We’re friends, and I know it might seem weird how close we are, but it’s not sexual or ‘intimate’ or however you’re thinking of it.”
She sighs and pats my shoulders. “You’re a good girl, sweetheart,” she begins, “and I know that James is a good guy deep down, but he’s…fast. He’s always had a lot of girls, and I don’t want you to end up as another notch on his bedpost.”
“Mom!” I whine.
“Shush, I’m just being protective. You’re my little girl, and I have the right to be a psycho about stuff like this. I know I can trust you to make the right decisions, but this porn situation was a pretty big bomb to drop, and I think it’s totally natural that I’d be a little worried.”
“I know, and I completely understand why you feel that way, but you’ve got nothing to worry about,” I explain.
“All right,” she says, nodding. “Try to get some sleep. I’m guessing you got in really late last night.”
“We were out having fun,” I say. “He brought all this food, and we had a picnic up at the overlook. It was really sweet.”
“Oh, well, that’s lovely,” she replies with a smirk. “Sounds like you two had a nice little date.”
“Mom!” I laugh.
>
“I’m just kidding.” She smiles and gives me a little wink. “Just, you know, be smart, all right, honey?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I shrug.
She gives me a kiss on the cheek and then goes off to bed.
I’m out of the shower and brushing my teeth when I start trying to think of ways to help James. Maybe I could talk to his parents. They’ve always liked me and they might be more apt to listen to me than to their “deviant” son. I’d really like to line them both up and yell at them for being so cold to him. What difference does this really make anyway? It was happening yesterday, but they were blissfully unaware of it. Now that they know, they’re acting like it’s an atrocity, like genocide or something.
I step into the hallway, and I stop in my tracks. I don’t want to just go into my room and go to sleep. I want to check on James and see if everything’s okay. I don’t want him to be alone with his depressing thoughts. Frankly, I just want to be close to him to tell him that life goes on and things will be okay in the end.
Chapter 9
James
I FEEL REALLY ANTSY, and I can’t sleep. Everything’s wrong, and there’s not a goddamn thing I can do about it. It’s the worst feeling. Helpless. Worthless. It fuckin’ sucks. Normally, I’d use sex to feel better, but I’m all by myself in the bedroom. I wish I could just fuck somebody, have that connection for just a few minutes, and then be mellow for a while, but honestly, I feel like nothing’s going to cheer me up right now. I don’t know what to do about it. Sure, I could probably jerk off, but that’s not going to cut it either. I need to feel something more intense to replace this sadness.
My thoughts are interrupted when Lola taps lightly on the door. All this thinking about fucking means I’ve got a semi-hard-on going, so I throw the blanket over my lower half and whisper for her to come on in.
“Hey,” she quietly says as she walks toward the bed.
She’s got on a little white tank top that’s nearly thin enough to see her nips through the cotton. I definitely notice it. She’s also wearing some gray short-shorts, the kind she always likes to sleep in. Even when we were younger, her pajama shorts used to turn me on. I remember falling asleep in her bed one time when I was about sixteen and getting a boner from the feeling of her bare legs tangling up with mine when she cuddled up against me in her sleep. She’s older now, and her legs are more shapely and muscular. They’re tan and disproportionately long for such a short girl…and I want to see them spread up against my sides while I’m deep inside her.
I shake the thought away as she lies down on top of the sheets next to me. She’s propped up on her elbow, and no matter how much I try to look away, I can’t help but appreciate the curves of her body as my eyes roam from her shoulder down to her tiny waist, over her hip, and down her sexy legs.
I’ve always thought she was pretty, but tonight it’s like I can’t snuff out all these dirty thoughts I’m having about her. I’ve thought about her before, even imagined fucking her sometimes during my scenes, but I never considered it that big of a deal. They were just fantasies, and I could brush them off. A whole bunch of shit pops into your head when you’re trying to come on command, so dreaming of Lola riding my dick isn’t anything to see a therapist about. Right now, though, I can’t think of anything but those sexy fantasies, and I’m having a hard time even concentrating.
“Are you okay?” she sweetly asks.
“Uh-huh.” I nod, trying to pretend like I’m not imagining her with her clothes off.
“You can tell me for real,” she says, reaching out to touch my cheek with the palm of her hand. It’s warm and soft, and it makes me relax.
“I just have no idea what I’m gonna do,” I admit. “I don’t know how to make this better. I don’t even know if I can.”
“You can. You have to give it some time. Your dad’s a real hard-ass, so you have to let him just stew in this for a while, but he’ll come around. Your parents aren’t total dicks like my dad,” she says, “so eventually everything will work out.”
Lola’s parents went through an ugly divorce when she was a baby, and her relationship with her dad is strained, to say the least. She told me that he basically gave her and her mom the house and started a new family in Michigan. She tries to talk to him on the phone sometimes and have some kind of relationship with him, but they’re just on way different pages. Personally, I don’t like her dad because he always seems to make her cry. If I had a dollar for all the times she’s gotten depressed after a conversation with him, I certainly wouldn’t have to be in porn movies to make a living.
“I’d imagine you’re pretty tired,” she softly whispers when I yawn. “I should let you get some sleep.”
“Lo, I’m not tired,” I quietly reply, reaching up for her hand. “This is the happiest moment of my day, you sneaking in here to talk to me. Stay…please?”
She gives me a big smile and then pulls back the sheets, which startles me a little because I know I’m still packing some heat and I don’t know how she’ll react to sitting here with me if she knows I’ve got a semi hard-on going on. I fidget a little, but she doesn’t seem to notice as she climbs under the covers and cuddles up to me.
“I’m cold from the air conditioning, though,” she whispers as she presses her firm little body right against my bare chest. “So you have to keep me warm.”
Fuck! This is not going to be easy. I can’t seduce Lola. I can’t even try to seduce Lola. I keep telling myself that, but the part of my brain that controls logic and rational thinking must be taking a night off. Her body just feels so fuckin’ good against me!
“Of course I’ll keep you warm, Lo,” I reply, my voice soft and silky. I’m not sure if she notices, or if she even cares.
I pull her closer to me until we’re both on our sides facing each other and my arm is wrapped around her waist. I play with a strand of her long hair as she tangles her legs in mine. I can feel her soft skin and smell her shampoo. I love holding her close like this…but I’d like it even more if we didn’t have any clothes on.
“Everything’s going to get better, James,” she whispers sweetly as she nuzzles under my chin.
I give her a little squeeze in response. I’m definitely feeling better right now, that’s for fuckin’ sure.
She folds her arm and rests her hand on my chest between our bodies, putting it over my heart. “I hate to see you sad, and it breaks my heart to see what you’ve had to go through because of your dumbass parents. Everything will be okay, though, and you know I’ve got your back through anything,” she adds.
“I know, Lola,” I whisper to her and take her little hand in mine. I bring it up to my mouth and kiss her fingertips before returning it to my chest. It’s a little more intimate than our usual thing, but she doesn’t seem bothered. “You’ve been so good to me, and I can’t even tell you how much it means to me.”
She leans her head up so she can look at me, and she gives me a kind smile. I gaze into her eyes, and I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear before I rest my hand on the back of her neck. I brush along her jaw with my thumb, and my eyes scan her face. She’s so beautiful to me. My little angel. Impulsively, I start tilting her head up so I can kiss her, but I come to my senses before I do it and I plant a little kiss on her cheek instead. Now she seems to notice that I’m feeling kind of romantic, and she gives me a surprised look, though she’s still smiling sweetly at me.
I run my nose along hers and then kiss her forehead as my hand moves down her back. She seems very relaxed, and I think she likes it. I know I’m definitely loving it. Her body’s so soft and warm, and she’s pressed up against me—it feels really fuckin’ nice.
I rub her back gently and then move my hand up and down from her shoulders to the top of her perfect, firm little ass. She doesn’t stop me; she doesn’t push me away or even say anything.
This is what I really needed, something all sweet, intimate—something my sex life is sorely lacking. I fuck a lot, but it’s alwa
ys just for fun or for work. I never share this kind of closeness with those chicks. I want to feel something real, something that goes beyond just fucking and crosses into romantic territory. I’ve never been a romance kind of guy, but I always kind of wished I was.
The only times I’ve done anything that could be classified as romantic were with Lola. The picnic, for example, was one of the more romantic things I’ve ever done with a girl. It was a lot like a date—it even ended with me in her bed, but not in a sexual kind of way. Tonight, I can’t stop myself from wanting to flip that around and maybe take it to the next level. I just want to feel something, and I want to feel it with her.
I lightly grab onto her hip and slide my hand down her thigh, guiding her leg up around my side. I roll forward until I’m on top of her with her legs spread underneath me. Her eyes grow wide when she can feel how hard I am as I press against her.
She gasps softly when I start kissing her neck, and I think she’s completely taken by surprise, though I feel like she might have seen this coming just a little bit when I started kissing her face and rubbing her back. She doesn’t push me away. In fact, I hear her breathing speed up a little bit as I keep kissing up and down the side of her throat.
“James,” she objects in a tiny whisper, sounding aroused and out of breath.
“I want you, baby,” I breathe against her skin and resume kissing her neck.
There’s a spot just below her ear that she seems to like a lot, so I concentrate my efforts there as my hand slides up her ribs and then cups the side of her boob through her shirt. Her nipples perk up almost immediately, and I’m so fuckin’ turned on by that response.
I rub my thumb over one nipple, just like I did that time at Keegan’s pool party, and I swear, she makes a breathy moaning sound, though it’s really quiet. She likes it. She’ll like it even more when I get her naked and start sucking on those pretty pink nipples, or when I finger her G-spot, or when I flick my tongue over her clit. She’ll really, really like it when I’m inside her.
Vice, Virtue & Video: Revealed (The Vice, Virtue & Video Series) Page 9
