“Want me to join you?” I throw out there with a raised eyebrow. Considering how shy she was yesterday, I seriously doubt she’ll do it. But hey, worth a try, right?
I can’t really hide my total surprise when she pauses, gives me a sexy smile and then nods her head. “Yes, I think that’d be nice.”
“You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?” I smirk.
“Nope.” She shakes her head. “I wanna shower with you, James,” she adorably replies, biting her bottom lip in that way that makes me crazy for her.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can hear her snickering. “That is, hands down, the best thing you’ve ever said to me.”
She laughs loudly and sits up all the way, still straddling me and giving me a view of her bare body. The way her hair falls over her boobs reminds me of a mermaid.
“You just don’t know!” I chuckle as I sit up and wrap my arms around her. “You have no fuckin’ clue what this does to me!”
“I have some idea.” She grins, looking down at my crotch.
“You make me harder than I’ve ever been in my fuckin’ life!” I admit.
She tries to hold it in, but she nearly snorts when she bursts into laughter. Yeah, I get it. It wasn’t exactly the smoothest compliment. It makes me laugh too. I just said that to my best friend. I just blurted out that she gets my dick hard, and I told her that right after we had this sweet little moment. I’m sure I could have phrased it better, but she fries my circuits and I’m way too honest with her.
“Do you want me to do something about that?” she asks, sliding her hand down my stomach. “That’s one thing I have done before.”
My mouth opens a little bit, and I let out a deep breath. Even the slightest touch of her fingertips feels good.
“Maybe I could return the favor,” she continues.
I swallow hard and close my eyes, trying to get my shit together. I can’t even describe how bad I want her, but I’m worried about it. If she so much as touches my dick, I’m going to end up fucking her. I know it. If she’s naked and I’m naked, it will happen. I won’t be able to control myself. We’re too close, and it would be too easy to go for it.
“I don’t think we should,” I say against my libido’s screaming pleas.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “Lo, I can barely hold back as it is. Don’t make fun of me, but I want you so bad right now that it hurts, and I’m gonna go fuckin’ werewolf on you and frenzy fuck you if we keep going.”
She bites her lip to keep from laughing.
“You’re naked, and you’re like three inches from my dick. There is not a goddamn thing I want more than to just grab your hips and fuckin’ plunge into you,” I continue to say, despite the intelligent part of my brain telling me to shut the fuck up. “I want to fuck you until you scream so loud the neighbors call the cops. I want to make you come so hard you faint. I want to be inside you for hours. I want you to miss your flight and stay here riding my dick for, like, the next eight days.”
“Goddamn!” She cackles loudly as her expression changes to amused surprise. “That’s graphic.”
“I can’t help it,” I say, chuckling. “You do crazy shit to me. You make me get filthy. The things I want to do to you right now…it’s so bad I don’t even want to tell you about it.”
She completely cracks up, taking my face in her hands and planting a big kiss on my forehead. “I guess we should cool it down, then. I don’t want you to lose it and go all ravenous on me.”
“I fuckin’ would, too!” I chuckle. “Christ! The things I would do to you—it’d be totally obscene.”
“You’d defile me?” She laughs, raising an eyebrow at me.
“I’d completely defile you,” I tease. “It would get totally dirty, Lo, really vulgar stuff. And I’d never stop going, either. I’d fuck you so good it’d be burned into your brain for the rest of your life. Any time you fucked somebody else, you’d be like, ‘Damn, this is nowhere near as good as when James did it,’ because I’d do it so good that nobody could ever compare.”
“Shit!” She giggles and sits back like she’s assessing me. “You’ve thought this through.”
“You have no idea.” I chuckle.
“I think you just like talking nasty to me.”
“I do like it.” I grin and pull her closer, touching our foreheads together.
“All right, dirty boy, let’s shower,” she says, patting my stomach and sliding off of me.
I miss the feel of her the second she’s away. I’m kind of horrified at myself, at how horny I am for her right now. She’s Lola! She’s my best friend, my little sweetheart. Even though she’s proven that she has a sexy side that could boil my blood right out of my body, I shouldn’t think such lewd shit about her.
“Come on,” she says, walking happily naked into the bathroom.
I’m out of bed in seconds, and I follow after her like a fuckin’ puppy. Shit! She totally has me now—not that she didn’t before, not that she hasn’t since the day I met her. I’d do anything for this girl, but now she knows it. I’m never going to hear the end of this if my friends find out. I’m supposed to be the ladies’ man, the love-’em-and-leave-’em guy who gets any chick he wants and acts all alpha male all the time. Now a girl—a tiny, petite, pretty, innocent girl—has me wrapped around her little finger.
It makes me smile a little bit, though, because I know she likes it and I like anything that makes her happy. Lola’s seen sides of me that I don’t show to anyone. I’ve cried in front of her, got into screaming fights with her, and then come crawling back to grovel and apologize because she was right all along—she’s almost always right. I’ve gone crazy, primal protective over her, and I’ve gotten all paranoid because of her. She just taps into my most base impulses, and everything I do is cranked to eleven when it comes to her.
She turns on the water and peeks over her shoulder at me. She knows exactly what she’s doing. I’ve completely lost the upper hand—if I ever even had it in the first place, that is.
My eyes feel all hooded with lust as I watch her rinse her hair, the water flowing down her body in all the places I’d like to touch her. Shit! This is really bad. I’m fuckin’ obsessed with her.
“Can I wash your hair?” I ask her. What kind of a request is that? How pussy whipped am I and I haven’t even had her pussy? Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
“Uh-huh.” She nods, reaching up to run her fingers through that gorgeous hair. The way her stomach elongates makes me crazy. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone more than I want her right now.
I grab the shampoo and lather up her long hair, massaging her scalp. I hate myself for how much I love this. After I smooth in the conditioner, I take the shower gel and lather up my hands, rubbing her shoulders and back until she’s relaxed and breathing deeply. I wash the rest of her, but I try to avoid her boobs, since I can’t risk touching them if we’re both naked in here and I know I could easily hike her up against the wall and fuck her until my lungs give out.
She rinses out the conditioner and then trades places with me so I’m under the water. She grabs the bottle of shower gel and starts pouring some out on her hands, looking up into my eyes in this sexy way that makes my smile turn more flirtatious.
I inhale a sharp breath when she runs her hands over my chest, onto my shoulders, down my back, and around onto my abs. Her little fingers are talented, and she’s fuckin’ caressing me in a way that has my heart pounding. It’s not necessarily sexual—she’s not going for my dick or anything—but it’s sexy. It’s kind of sensual, but innocent at the same time.
“You freaked out that you’re naked with me?” I grin at her. “You were such a dork about it last night, but now you’re a fuckin’ Playboy Bunny prancing around here and teasing me.”
“Teasing you?” She raises her eyebrows like she’s surprised. “How am I teasing you?”
“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” I laugh. “How are you not teasing me?”
“Because I’m naked and taking a shower with you and washing your body with my bare hands?” She smirks, running her palms over my chest.
“Yeah, that would be it.” I nod. “I don’t think best friends do shit like that.”
“No,” she says, and her voice takes on a new, sensual quality, “they don’t.”
What does that mean? The way she said it was all soft and seductive, but she doesn’t elaborate on it. There was more to it, though. I feel like there were a whole bunch of other words hidden under the surface of what she said. She couldn’t possibly mean…does she want to be more than friends?
That thought is both awesome and terrifying at the same time. I don’t doubt that Lola would be an awesome girlfriend, but I don’t think I could be an awesome boyfriend. I’d probably end up fucking some other chick and pissing her off, because that’s kind of what I do. I’m good as a friend with benefits, good as a fuck buddy or a one-night stand, but I’d be shitty to date because I have the tendency to fuck things up with people who care about me. Just ask my dad, who all but flat-out told me I wasn’t worth a shit when he was kicking me out of the house for doing porn. I know it sounds totally emo, but I don’t deserve for somebody to have feelings for me that go that deep. I especially don’t deserve for Lola to feel that way about me. She’s a zillion times better than I deserve—than anyone deserves, really.
We finish showering, and she starts combing out her hair with a towel wrapped around her body. It’s the first time all morning that I haven’t been able to stare at her tits, and I miss them already.
“I’m gonna make us some breakfast,” I say, kissing the top of her head.
I head out into the kitchen and start cracking some eggs and preparing French toast for us. Breakfast food is fast and easy, but I like to add my own little flare to it to make it more gourmet. The omelets I’m making, for example, have an assortment of veggies and spices to give them a little more flavor. It’s cool to be cooking for Lola again. I missed it. I used to love cooking dinner for her when we lived back home. She’d eat at my house a lot or I’d go over to her place and make stuff for her and her mom. I loved the way she’d scarf it down and then tell me she felt like her belly would explode from how full she was.
She comes into the kitchen, but she’s fully clothed and she’s pouting a little bit. She stands against the counter and holds something up. It’s a black G-string with sparkly stars on it.
“Why was this on the floor by your bed?” she asks, clearly not happy about the discovery.
“It’s from last week,” I reply, not really sure what to do in this situation.
“Whose skanky-ass thong is this?” she says like she’s even more pissed off.
“Lexi…or maybe Tara,” I answer truthfully.
“You don’t know which one?” She’s not pleased. Definitely not.
“Last week, we all did a shoot together, and we were still hyped up so they came over here, since my place is close to the studio,” I attempt to explain.
“You had a fucking ménage with those two bitchy girls last week?” she says. She sounds like she’s hurt, and I don’t know what to do.
“Yeah, dude.” I shrug, still not sure of the best course of action. “Why are you getting weird about it?”
“I…I’m not,” she replies, stumbling a little bit. She shuts up after that and then goes to sit down at the breakfast bar that looks over the counter.
“Eggs are almost ready, and I got some turkey bacon for you, since I know you don’t like the real thing.” I smile, motioning to the stove.
“Okay,” she says, but her voice is all deflated.
“Lo, what’s going on?” I ask her, stopping what I’m doing to come around the counter and stand in front of her.
She pauses, and I can see her brow starting to furrow. She’s still pissed. “Did you at least change your fucking sheets before you had me in your bed? I’d hate to think I slept on the same sheets where you fucked those nasty-ass bitches.”
“Whoa! What?” I say, stepping back. Where the fuck did that come from? “You’re pissed about Lexi and Tara?”
“No,” she says, clearly meaning yes.
“Why would you be mad about that?” I ask her. “You know what my job is; you know that I do that shit all the time. Fuck, I’ve told you about almost every chick I’ve banged, and you’ve never once flipped out like this. What’s the deal, kid?”
“Nothing.” She shrugs, but she won’t look me in the eye.
“Nah, I’m not gonna let you just shut it down like that,” I say, taking her face in my hands and making her look at me. “Why are you pissed?”
“You make me feel like a jealous girlfriend,” she murmurs. “I don’t like feeling like I’m some whiny girl who bitches when you fuck somebody else, but that’s how this makes me feel.”
“Well, don’t feel like that.” I shrug. Isn’t this perfectly obvious? “You’re getting all crazy like I cheated on you or something. Fucking them isn’t cheating. How the fuck could I cheat? I’m not your boyfriend.”
Her lip shakes, and I can tell that really hurt her feelings. I feel like an asshole.
“Wait, that sounded mean. I’m sorry,” I immediately apologize. “I just—that’s not how I meant to say that.”
“It’s okay.” She shrugs and hops off the barstool. “You’re right.”
She starts shuffling back to the bedroom, but I catch her elbow and turn her around. “I’m sorry, baby,” I say to her. “I really am, okay? I didn’t mean for that to sound so harsh. I just meant that we’re best friends and that you never usually get all weird about me and other girls. Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on here.”
“I don’t know,” she says and her voice trembles a little.
“It’s ’cause of what we did, isn’t it?” I nod, putting my arms around her to comfort her. That’s what happened. She let loose and shit got real, so now she’s all jumbled up inside about how she feels. She likes me, and I mean “like” likes me.
“It’s not that,” she says, totally lying. “I’m just bummed about having to go back to school.”
“No, you’re not,” I cut right to it. “You’re bummed because you felt something for me. You’re freaked out because something happened, and now you don’t know how you feel about me.”
“How would you know that?” she timidly responds.
“Because I feel that way about you all the time,” I say.
“What?” She looks up at me with confusion.
“Yeah, dude.” I smile warmly as I brush her hair behind her ear. “I like you so much, Lola, and it makes me get all weird when I think about you being with other dudes—even just being friends with other guys. I told you, you’re my treasure, kid, and I don’t want you to open yourself up to anybody else.”
“Yet you can still do it whenever you want to?” She pouts.
“I just…I can separate it out, I guess,” I reply. “I can take how I feel about you and put it someplace else, someplace away from the girls I want to fuck or the girls I work with.”
“I can’t,” she whispers so quietly I can barely hear it.
“I know,” I say, pulling her into my chest and holding her close. “I was worried about this. You’re a romance kind of girl, and you can’t randomly fuck around with somebody without feeling something deeper.”
“That’s probably true,” she says with a resigned sigh.
“I shouldn’t have even started it, really, because I was worried this would happen and I’d end up hurting your feelings. I just started thinking about it, and I wanted it so bad. I’ve never done anything like that with you, and I got so obsessed with the idea that I didn’t think about the consequences. I just…I’m really sorry,” I say, kissing the top of her head.
She takes a deep breath, and I feel her relax a bit. “This is your fault,” she says with a little smile. “You’re so good that it made me lose my mind. It’s like Ghostbusters. You crossed the streams, and now I’m a
ll fucked up and confused.”
“Hey,” I say, chuckling, “I’m confused too. I’ve known you since you were six years old and you were just naked on top of me. You’re not supposed to get a hard-on thinking of your best friend, but you turn me on all the time, and I could have blown my load in my fuckin’ boxers when I watched you come this morning.”
She giggles and shakes her head.
“This confuses the shit out of me because I shouldn’t want it as bad as I do—and I really fuckin’ do. I should not get this horny for my best friend, but you do that to me, and I have no idea why, how or what to do about it, so I just let it slide,” I elaborate.
“So it’s not just me who felt it?” She shyly smiles.
“Hell, no!” I laugh. “I wasn’t lying when I told you I wanted to do all kinds of nasty shit with you. You don’t think it fucks my head up to want to bang my best friend? I’ve practically, like, sworn an oath not to let anybody fuck you who doesn’t deserve you, and then what the fuck happens when I’m the one who’s trying to fuck you? I’ve, like, violated everything I stood for, for fuck’s sake!”
She laughs and wraps her arms around my hips, resting her cheek on my chest. “We really shook shit up, didn’t we?”
“Yes, yes, we did,” I say.
“So this should be the beginning and end of all this,” she says. “Probably need to put the brakes on any further sex stuff or else we’ll be royally fucked up for years to come.”
“I totally don’t want to do that—because you’re sexy as fuck and I love getting to do sexual shit with you—but you’re right.” I smile at her as I hold her face in my hands.
“Okay,” she sighs. “Best friends only, from now on, then?”
“Word.” I grin, holding out my pinky for her to pinky swear me.
She hooks her finger in mine and gives me a nod.
“Now let’s eat some fuckin’ breakfast. I’m super hungry.”
“Me, too,” she says, going with it when I take her hand and lead her back to the kitchen.
Chapter 26
Vice, Virtue & Video: Revealed (The Vice, Virtue & Video Series) Page 26
