by Grace Risata
“So…I know that Rocky is involved in the production of the gin at work, but what do you do, Sergio?”
“I guess you don’t really see me working because I do most of my job before you arrive. I’m in sales. I’m the one who calls grocery stores, restaurants, bars, and liquor stores to convince them to carry our gin. If they already sell it, then I check on their current inventory to find out when Vasily needs to make a delivery.”
“That sounds cool. You seem like a people-person, so that job fits. Where are you guys from? You’re obviously not from Pineville or you would have heard about the Taste of the Town in Coral City. It’s an annual event that attracts huge crowds. Rocky didn’t learn to fight like that here either.”
Sergio hesitated and looked at Rocky before answering, “We’re from out east.” There was nothing vague about THAT answer.
“What’s your last name, Sergio?” I realized that I knew Rocky’s last name from all the paperwork he signed, but I was there for a week and didn’t know shit about his partner.
Rocky glanced at Sergio and gave his head a small shake, “What’s with all the questions, Violet?”
“I’m in a car alone with two virtual strangers, whom I know almost nothing about. I’m trying to break the ice so it’s not as creepy. Just so you’re aware, I told several people where I was going today. If I don’t come back, then they’ll know where to look.” It seemed like a smart idea to throw that out there in case they had any ideas.
“Who did you tell, Violet? So I know what cavalry is coming to your rescue should the need arise?” Rocky asked while clearly holding back laughter.
I rolled my eyes at him. “My mom and my best friend, Stella. Trust me, you don’t want either of them pissed at you.”
Rocky sighed and offered, “How about if I tell you ONE story so you know more about us? Then you can quit with the third degree. Deal?”
That sounded fair enough so I agreed. “You better make it a good one then!”
Rocky didn’t disappoint. “Once upon a time there were two five year old boys on the playground for their first day of Kindergarten. One kid by the name of Sergio was getting picked on by the other boys. One of the kids, we’ll say his name is Tommy, told Sergio that he couldn’t play with the him. Sergio looked sad and asked why they wouldn’t play with them. Tommy told Sergio, ‘My dad said that your dad is a crook and that’s why we won’t play with you,’ and then Tommy pushed the boy to the ground. Sergio started to cry and this caught the attention of his older brother, Carmine. No one messed with Sergio unless it was Carmine. That’s the job of the older brother. You had the right to pick on your brother, but no one else better try that. Before Carmine made it over to start banging heads, another little boy entered the circle. This little boy, named Rocky, had been listening all along and he didn’t think it was nice that Tommy was picking on Sergio. Rocky liked Sergio because he was wearing a t-shirt with a character from Rocky’s favorite cartoon. Had Sergio been wearing a different shirt, their entire lives might have turned out differently. Anyway, Rocky looked at Tommy and said, ‘Well MY dad said that I can’t play with YOU, because your dad is a COCK-SUCKER!’ All the kids got quiet because they knew that was a very bad thing to say, even if they were too little to know exactly what it meant. Tommy yelled back that his dad was NOT that bad word and he ran away crying. Rocky reached down and gave Sergio a hand to get up and asked him to play on the monkey bars. Carmine took notice of all this and encouraged Rocky to come back to their house and have supper that night. That cemented their friendship. Sergio was in awe of his first pal, who became his life-long partner in crime. He’s done everything I’ve told him since then because he was a little bitch that day and I had to come to his defense, much like I’ve been doing for the past twenty-four years!”
Rocky started laughing and punched Sergio in the arm. Sergio shook his head as if he didn’t agree with that version of the story or it’s not a memory he likes to recall. I burst out laughing too. That was the best story ever. Rocky had me on the edge of my seat the whole time.
“I bet you guys got into so much trouble and did some legendary shit, huh?” I wanted to hear more, this was a good time!
“Sorry, Violet. That was your one story for the day. Remember the deal. One story and no more questions.”
“Fine, but I’m only shutting up until we get there and then I can talk again.” That seemed reasonable. He turned up the radio and I relaxed in the backseat, content after story time.
Rocky’s phone rang, interrupting my daydream of us walking hand-in-hand through the streets of Coral City while he gazed longingly into my eyes and told me how awesome I was.
He answered his phone after looking at the caller ID. “Vasily, what did you break now?” He listened for a minute and promised, “I’ll have Violet give her a call.”
Rocky turned to me and explained, “Irina got the teapot and she wants to talk to you.” He rattled off her number and I called her from my phone. Maybe he didn’t want me to use his phone because he didn’t want people to know that we were spending the day together. This must not be a date then.
I called Irina and she was beyond thrilled to find that her new teapot was in better condition than the one her sister owned. She thanked me thirteen times and said she owed me a favor. I was happy to help. Irina was turning out to be pretty cool.
Before we got to Coral City, Sergio pulled into a gas station to fill up his tank. Rocky asked me if I needed anything inside. I declined his offer and he went in alone. Sergio leaned through the rear window and gave me a warning.
“Hey, Violet, I have to tell you something quickly before he comes back, ok? Do me a favor today. If Rocky starts acting a little weird, just cut him some slack. He got a call this afternoon that his grandpa is sick and he’s not taking it very well. He drank three beers before we picked you up and he’s probably going to get shit-faced drunk today. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his family. He can’t go back home to see his grandfather because...let’s just say it’s complicated. If he knew I was telling you any of this, he’d kick my ass. So go easy on him today. He doesn’t deal with stuff very well. I’m trusting you by telling you all this. Don’t make me regret it. If he asks you what we were talking about when he was inside, just say I told you something about him wearing women’s underwear.”
Wow. That came from out of nowhere. If Rocky’s grandfather was sick, then he could have cancelled today. He never did answer the question of where they were from originally. We also had the mystery of why Rocky couldn’t go home. Sergio’s vague, “It’s complicated,” wasn’t telling me a damn thing. Hmm. It was going to be hard not to ask five hundred more questions, but that would break Sergio’s trust.
Sergio finished pumping the gas and waited for his credit card receipt while Rocky returned to the car. “What were you two talking about?” he asked as he stuck his head in the back window.
“He told me to ask about you wearing women’s underwear or something. I assumed you wouldn’t tell me because I already got my one story of the day. Also the vision in my head of you in a pink thong is going to make me hurl and I can’t have that before I eat food.” Good answer Violet! Fast on your feet. He won’t suspect anything now.
Sergio had a smile on his face, which immediately vanished when he saw what Rocky was holding. “You’re not drinking that in my car. Suck it down before you get in.” He was referring to a forty ounce beer in Rocky’s hand. With a speed that rivaled anything I’d ever seen, it was gone in a few gulps. Amazing. Rocky made a perfect three point shot into the garbage can.
“Happy now? Let’s go.” After turning to look at me, expecting a comment from the peanut gallery and getting none, he faced front and changed the radio station. “Let’s find some decent road music and get this party started!” It was becoming apparent that Rocky had started his own party several beers ago. Hopefully he was a happy drunk.
We parked about a mile away from the actual festival. Th
e streets were full of cars and Sergio refused to parallel park in a tight spot, on the off chance someone might dent his car. As we walked, the opportunity presented itself to check out my companions. Sergio looked like a rock star in ripped black jeans, boots, tight gray shirt with the arms rolled up to show off his sleeve tattoos, aviator sunglasses, and a shiny silver Rolex. Rocky was equally luscious in ass hugging blue jeans, a well-worn black leather jacket over a form fitting black t shirt, and black boots. If only I could take a picture with these two, it would be totally epic!
As we made our way to the food, the mouthwatering aromas pulled me in like a puppet on a string. The guys looked at me questioningly after I reviewed my hand written sheet with notes as to which vendor had what menu choices. “I can’t just walk down the street and randomly eat whatever’s there! What if I fill up on crap at the first few booths and then I have no room at the end and there’s good stuff but I’m already full? That would be heinous. I need my chart!”
“In this whole entire crowd of people, do you see one other person looking at a food cheat sheet? You have issues,” Sergio said, stating the obvious.
“Yes I know, but I don’t care. I don’t know these people. Who cares what they think of me? I’m going to eat what is on my list and be who I am. Who’s to say what’s normal? We’re all weird in some way. I’m not conforming to what society thinks I should be. I’m gonna let my freak flag fly.” With a raised fist, I marched down the street toward the cheesecake. It didn’t matter that dessert would be my first course. Namely, because my food list had seven items and four of them happened to be in the sugar family.
There were five people in front of me in line, giving me time to decide which flavor of cheesecake sounded the best. Sergio studied the menu, while Rocky looked uninterested. “Don’t you like cheesecake?” I inquired.
“Not really, but Sergio does. He could probably eat the whole thing in one sitting.”
For four dollars each, the choices were Turtle Cheesecake, Carmel Apple Cheesecake, or Rum Cheesecake. My turn was up, “I’ll take one piece of Rum and one piece of Carmel Apple.” They both sounded good and the guys could share with me. I reached in my pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill to hand the cashier.
“What the hell are you doing?” Rocky exclaimed.
“Uh…paying?” I responded. “You know the food isn’t free, right?”
“No, no, no,” he wagged his finger at me, “You don’t pay. We pay. I invited you. You’re the woman. The man pays for things. Put your money back in your pocket.” He gave the cashier his own twenty and gave me a dirty look. What the fuck? I don’t need him to pay. I have my own money.
He handed me the two pieces of cheesecake and a fork. I grabbed two more forks and explained, “These were for all of us to share. I’m not eating two pieces of cheesecake all by myself! And if you think I’m letting you pay for all my food today, you thought WRONG. I’m paying for my own shit. I’m not owing you anything. You’ll expect me to put out at the end of the night.” This statement was just to lighten the mood. I would have been happy to engage in a little making out with Rocky at any time. Hell, I would have paid for his food if I thought it would lead to him kissing me.
A roar of laughter that dissolved into a fit of snorting was followed by the gulping of fresh air. Sergio looked at me and said, “Violet, that may have been the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Thank you for that.”
Rocky appeared equally amused and explained, “Girls have been competing for our attention as far back as I can remember and you think my plan is to buy you a four dollar cheesecake in order to guilt you into spreading your legs? My God, Violet, you should hear yourself sometimes. You’re priceless!” Well, when you put it THAT way….perhaps it does border on the absurd.
“FINE. I get your point. Just for that, I’m not sharing this fucking cheesecake. Get your own.” This was going to fuck up my food plan. Only one piece of cheesecake was budgeted for this place. Now I’d have to forgo the deep fried Twinkies just to prove a point. Damn it.
Sergio ordered three pieces of cheesecake and single handedly ate them all. I managed to suck down my two pieces, but the last bite didn’t go without a fight. They were really sweet!
Rocky stood there watching me with a look of wonder. “Impressive, Violet. You can really put food away. Aren’t girls supposed to be all dainty and take two bites and say they’re full and throw the rest out?”
“I’m not your average girl. You should have figured that out by now. Besides, I like cheesecake and I’m not a food waster.”
Sergio needed something to wash down his desserts, so we went in search of a beverage stand. I paid for my own bottle of water before Rocky could whip out his wallet, thus earning myself a scowl. He plucked out a twenty and ordered three plastic cups of beer.
“I’m not drinking one of those, I have water.” I held it up to show him.
“Who said one of these was for you?” Rocky downed one of the beers right away, passed the second one to Sergio, and held on to the last one. It should be interesting to see if he starts eating or if he’s just going to drink his way through this whole event.
While on the way to the deep fried burger stand, Sergio made an abrupt detour toward two bimbos standing about twenty feet away. He trotted over to introduce himself and flirt shamelessly, while Rocky and I stopped and watched.
“What’s he doing?” I was hungry for real food and wanted something greasy to join the cheesecake rolling around in my stomach.
“He’s doing what he always does. Sit back and watch him work, it’s entertaining. Just a heads-up though, he never gives girls his real name. He also never uses the same alias twice. It’s a total mind fuck trying to remember who he is.”
Sergio made his way back over to us, a girl hanging on each arm, and began the introductions. “Sorry to run off from you two, but I saw these lovely ladies and told myself ‘Johnny, you have GOT to meet them and convince them to join the party tonight.’ Let me introduce you all.”
The first girl stuck out her hand to Rocky and said, “My name is Pennie, like the coin, but with an I-E at the end…P-E-N-N-I-E.”
“And my name is Bridget,” the second one giggled, “Also with an I and an E.”
Really? Clearly we had two rocket scientists here.
Sergio decided it was our turn. “Ladies this is my friend Rocky and---“
“My name is Iris,” I interrupted before he could spit out my name. “Iris like the flower, NOT the color.” If we’re doing fake names, there’s no way in hell I was being left out.
The girls looked bewildered and Rocky muttered, “Changing things up, I see.”
Pennie and Bridget appeared to be your standard run-of-the-mill bleach blondes with enormous fake tits and tiny waists. They wore skin tight, cleavage flashing tops paired with miniskirts and towering stiletto heels. In comparison to the group, I stuck out like a sore thumb. This did not go unnoticed.
Barbie #1 cocked her head at me and asked, “Are you like their sister or something?”
Is there a nearby hole that I could perhaps crawl into? Please feel free to point it out and I’d be happy to oblige. What happened next came as a total shocker.
Rocky put his arm across my shoulder and announced, “Nope, she’s my date.” He looked down at me and winked. “C’mon babe, I’m getting hungry.” As he led me off toward the burger stand, he whispered in my ear, “You don’t think I’m getting one of THOSE two pawned off on me, do you?”
Oh, I get it. I’m nothing special. He just didn’t want to be stuck with one of the airhead twins. I hung my head in obvious disappointment at that realization, which Rocky immediately picked up on.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret, Violet. I can’t enjoy myself today without a homemade color coded guide to the best food. Since you’re the only one who has one of those, I guess you’re stuck with me.” He playfully nudged me and I elbowed him in the gut with a big smile on my face as we stood in line for a burger.
The menu offered burgers deep fried with different fillings in the middle. We both chose the bacon-filled burger. They looked fantastic. Rocky took a giant bite as we strolled back to Sergio and his new friends.
Rocky ordered, “FREEZE. Don’t eat that!” just as the burger was about to enter my mouth. My eyes widened as I obeyed his command. The burger went back in the basket and I looked at him for an explanation.
“Violet, the burger is rare inside. It’s not anything remotely close to well done. You’re not allowed to eat red meat, right? You’ll die of salmonella!” Was he kidding or being serious? This gorgeous guy that had just put his arm around me was now turning into my mother. Oh, hell no!
Upon my closer inspection, the burger was indeed bloody inside. Gross. I threw it out. The Barbie twins looked at me and both sighed. “That is so sweet, Iris. He cares so much about you that he doesn’t want you to get sick from a bad burger. I wish guys were that considerate with us, don’t you agree Bridget?”
“I totally agree, Pennie, but why did he call her ‘Violet’? I thought her name was Iris?”
Busted! Rocky wasn’t kidding when he said he had issues with fake names. “Actually Violet is my middle name, and some people use it instead of my first name. Like it’s a nickname,” I explained. Hopefully they’d buy that lame cover-up.
“Oh, ok,” they chirped in unison. Crisis averted.
Rocky clearly did not have any patience left. Either the skanks were annoying him or he was done trying to remember names. “We’re gonna go find a place to sit and chill. We’ll catch up to you guys later.” He grabbed my hand and we took off on our own. Holy shit, my daydream from the car ride here was actually coming true!
