As if my thoughts of him brought him back, the door rattled as it was opened with a key from outside. Mom sniffled and pulled back, wiping at her eyes. We both faced the door as it opened and Dad walked in.
“What are you doing back here?” Mom asked, her tone cold.
I just glared at him. He didn’t even deserve my words.
Dad sighed. “Come on, Carol. This is my house, too, remember? I’m tired of sleeping at a hotel.”
“Why don’t you go sleep with your mistress, then,” she sneered.
Dad grimaced. “You know I can't do that, Carol. She’s dealing with things, too, and there’s Kevin. You know how close he and Rod were, of course, the poor boy is taking things badly. I can't just budge in on them like that.”
My heart ached at the mention of Kevin. I did want to see him. But he knew me so well; he probably knew why I hadn't sought him out. He must not have sought me out for that very reason.
“That’s funny,” Mom said, voice sarcastic, but trembling. “I thought she meant more to you than anything, more than this family. So I don’t see why you’re back here, Paul. I do not want you here.”
Dad heaved another sigh, then fisted his hands on his hips and tilted his head back. When he lowered his face again, he suddenly looked very tired and like he’d aged another decade. My heart wavered for a moment, but I forced myself not to give in. Did he feel remorseful now? Then he shouldn’t have done what he did the day after Rod confronted him. Whatever he’d been thinking, even I knew that was a bad idea. Rod was his son, so why the fuck didn’t he know that Rod wouldn’t let things go so easily just because he said so?
Had I known what this was all about before, instead of Dad deciding I needed to stay in the dark… I would have insisted on staying with Rod, the both of us going to school together. I’d thought he’d left before me, but he probably just circled, waited until both Dad and me were gone, then picked Mom up and followed Dad to where he met Jenny.
“Please, Carol,” Dad said, trying to sound reasonable. “I can't keep sleeping at a hotel. We can't afford that kind of cost right now. There’s still the hospital bills and the funeral to think about…”
Mom stiffened next to me. “I can handle the costs,” she said, jutting her chin out in defiance.
“With what money?” he returned, incredulous.
She sniffed. “With the inheritance money I got from my parents. I was always saving it, but this would be the best occasion to use it, don’t you think?”
Dad had nothing to say to that, and he flattened his lips.
“So you don’t need to stick around,” she said pointedly. “Go and get married to that woman for all I care. If it’s a divorce you want from me, have your lawyers send me the papers. I’ll sign.”
Before, I might have panicked had I been hearing my parents talk about a divorce. But right then, I couldn’t help but think it was the right decision. Hell, if Dad had just done it from the beginning, everything wouldn’t have gotten so messed up because of his lies.
“That isn’t what I came here to talk to you about.”
“Then what? Were you planning to elope—”
“Damn it, Carol!” Dad snapped, reaching the end of his rope.
Mom just sneered again, and it only seemed to make him angrier.
“I am grieving for him as much as you are. And so is Jenny.”
“What does she have to do with this family?”
“Everything, considering you were the one to get her involved in the first place.”
She sucked in a sharp breath. “I thought I was helping her. Her husband had a heart attack, and she couldn’t even focus on her son, so I brought him to our house, and invited her in so we could help her. If I’d known this would happen, I would have kept them at arm’s length.”
There was silence as they both stared at each other. I felt like neither of them even realized I was there at all, and I was just an unwanted spectator. I’d never noticed how strained my parent's relationship had gotten until I saw them in that standoff. Right then, I wished I could be anywhere but there.
I wished a lot of things, but I still sat there watching the train wreck between them.
“Carol,” Dad said, breaking the silence first. “Please, I just want to come home. I will sleep on the couch; I don’t care. But I want to stay here. It’s my home.”
Mom was silent for a moment. Then, she took in a shaky breath.
“Fine,” she said.
My eyes shot to her in my surprise. I hadn't realized she would relent. But she wasn’t done talking.
“You can come back to the house,” she continued. “But only on the condition that you stop seeing Jenny.”
That made Dad freeze, and he stared at her with a look of disbelief. “… I can't.”
“Why not?” Mom snapped, glaring daggers at him. “Why ever the fuck not, Paul? It was what Rod wanted you to do, and you said no! Then look what happened—”
“If you hadn't dragged him into this—” Dad accused.
“Dragged him into what! Paul, your son was not as stupid as you seem to be making out he was. I told Rod nothing. He figured things out on his own then confronted me about it. I didn’t say anything, but I couldn’t deny it either, and he made his conclusions. If anyone is to blame here, it is still you!”
Dad was left stunned, his eyes widening as his jaw dropped. “What…” he breathed out.
“Yes,” Mom said, jutting her chin out again. “What? You thought I found out about the two of you and ran to my son to rat you two out? Don’t fucking look down on me. He figured it out all on his own. Or what, did the two of you think you were discreet? The moment I knew to look for it, I knew, Paul. And so did Rod.”
I frowned to myself. Was I so unobservant that I was the only one that didn’t even suspect it?
There was another length of silence, and I could see my dad’s expression settling into devastation again. In that one moment, it looked like he’d aged some more. But then, after his lengthy silence, he started shaking his head. Mom burst out laughing, though it sounded pained and hysterical.
“Even now, even after all this, you still…”
“I can't just stop seeing her because you want me to,” Dad said, sounding defeated, even as he stayed firm about this. “This affair isn’t just because I want to get off. I love her, I’ve been in love with her. I know you’ve felt it, how this marriage just hasn’t been going right for years. I stuck it out for my children, Carol. I am fucking allowed to grieve because my son is dead.”
Mom didn’t have a comeback for that. I’d never even heard my dad curse before. After they stared at each other for long moments, Mom calmly got up off the couch. I watched as she avoided looking at my dad and headed up the stairs. Moments later, we heard the door to their room slam closed.
Dad heaved a sigh, then turned to me. “Stacey,” he called, reaching out an arm to me.
But I wasn’t ready to forgive him yet. I jumped off the couch and ran. I couldn’t keep up a calm front like my mom. I slammed the door to my room and threw myself on the bed, curling on my side as I clutched a pillow to me and squeezed my eyes shut.
Shit, Kevin, I thought, wishing in that moment that he was there with me. Everything is so fucking messed up, Kevin. What the fuck are we gonna do?
Chapter 12
Kevin
I sat in my kitchen, opposite my mom. We were supposed to be eating, but all I could do was push my food around my plate.
When was the last time I saw Stacey? I thought, my heart heavy. I miss her…
She was going through a lot. I wanted to be there to help her through it all, but it was her family she had to deal with. After my mom had dropped all that on the both of us, she’d kept quiet, and I’d known right then, that Stacey would need some space from me.
How much space, though?
I was too afraid to think it through, worrying that she wouldn’t want to see me at all after all this.
“How has schoo
l been?”
I looked up at Mom. She was eating and looking down at the table, not meeting my eyes. How many days had it been since the incident at her house? Nearly a week, if not more. I’d stopped counting the days at some point. This wasn’t the first time Mom had tried breaking the silence with small talk, but I… just really didn’t feel like talking to her.
“School is fine, Mom,” I muttered, then looked down at the food I was squishing with my fork.
“When do you think you’re going back?”
I shot her a frown, but she didn’t look up, so she didn’t even see it. “I don’t know, Mom,” I said with impatience. “I haven’t thought about it. I can’t think about it right now.”
“You’re going to have to think of it soon, though,” she said, but her voice sounded tired, and I couldn’t argue back. She continued, “This is your final year, remember? You’re going to graduate soon, and I don’t want you messing that up, okay?”
I just sighed. I knew all that, but the last thing on my mind was school. I wondered how many of the people there even knew about what had happened, how many of them would be there for Rod’s funeral. I hadn't heard anything about when it was going to be, but it couldn’t be too far off.
There was another length of silence, and again, my mom was the one to break it.
“I’ve been talking with Paul…”
I let out an explosive breath, dropping the fork as loudly as I could, and sat back in my chair. Mom ignored it all.
“I’ve been talking with Paul,” she repeated. “And we thought it would be better if we rented a house where the three of us are going to stay.”
All I could say was, “Seriously, Mom?”
She didn’t reply, didn’t raise her head, and I wondered if this was how things were going to be from now on.
We hadn't talked at all. Yeah, she asked trivial things, if I liked dinner, what I wanted to eat for the day. She’d even taken leave off work. But even though she was around all the time now, we talked a lot less. We were both orbiting around the house, and I wasn’t sure if she was deliberately trying to avoid me like I was her, but we barely caught sight of each other unless we were both in the kitchen because it was time to eat. Even then, we spent the whole time in silence and went our separate ways.
It hardly felt like we were a family anymore.
Finally, after a long wait, Mom looked up. Her eyes were red, and I wondered how much of her time around the house she spent crying. I pretended not to hear her because I wasn’t sure she even deserved to cry. She was an adult. She had made her decisions, and I couldn’t say whether or not they were the wrong ones, but considering what it all led to, what was the point of her regret now?
It wouldn’t bring Rod back.
Fuck.
Just thinking his name made my chest ache, and I sucked in a harsh breath. It was my turn to avoid my mom’s eyes, and I blinked rapidly to push back the tears.
“I know this isn’t the best situation, Kevin,” she said softly, while I stayed silent and listened. “I know the situation we find ourselves in is greatly my fault, but… I swear to you I never meant for this to happen.”
“Of course, you didn’t,” I muttered. “But it still happened.”
She sighed. “I would like it if we could talk again if you and I could be a family like we used to.”
I looked up with a glare then. “You mean before you started fucking my friend’s dad? Or he found out, and it messed him up?”
She winced. “Kevin…”
“How do you not realize this? Mom, if he comes to us and suddenly becomes a part of our ‘family,’ that leaves Stacey alone with her mom. Not unlike how you were with me.”
“Paul said he was going to continue to support them. Stacey is his daughter; he wouldn’t just abandon her.”
I sneered. “Technically, he already has.”
Mom sighed. She folded her hands together on the table and played with her fingers as she talked. “Things have been…strained at his house. They only let him back home a day ago, and he says neither of them wants him around. So, I just thought the move would be best.”
I tried to be understanding. This was my mother. She might not have spent a lot of time with me, but that wouldn’t change. I knew she wasn’t the kind of person that would butt into someone’s family just because, there had to be a good reason. Maybe she did love Rod’s dad. I didn’t want to ask because I wanted to keep the rules between us in place; she didn’t pry into my life, I didn’t pry into hers.
This was one area where I needed that rule.
“How about I just…find a place and move out,” I offered. “I could stay by myself…”
“And how would you pay for this place on your own?” she asked, looking up at me with an arched eyebrow. “I can't afford to get you a separate place, not while Paul and I will be renting a house. I’m mainly doing it for your sake, Kevin. At least, until you graduate.”
“What happens then?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Paul and I were thinking of moving permanently after that. Because once things come out in town, I don’t think I’m going to be very welcome here. And I don’t want you to have to deal with that. It’ll only be for a few more months…”
“Nearly half a year,” I corrected. “If the two of you are renting a house together, it won’t take people nearly that long to figure out something is going on between you guys.”
Mom chewed on her bottom lip, her fingers twisting and untwisting together in agitation. I wondered just how much she’d thought this through. If she’d thought everything through, and if she did, why she didn’t stop before shit escalated.
“When do we move?” I asked, sighing. It didn’t look like she had the answers. Some adult she was.
“Sometime within the next week or so. We want to hurry up and get settled, so you can start going back to school again. I’ll help you find a place to move into after graduation before I leave. I just…need to get some savings in order.”
I didn’t object to us moving, couldn’t because I didn’t want to live next door to my best friend’s house. Not when he was dead, and my mom was taking a great deal of the blame. It hurt too badly, and maybe, later on, thinking of his name wouldn’t hurt as badly, but I had my guilt to carry, as my mom did.
I should have just fucking told him about Stacey. He probably blamed his dad and my mom for keeping shit from him, and there I was, his best friend, keeping a secret just as big.
Even if he would have gotten mad, I should have had the balls to come out and say it. I should have insisted when Stacey didn’t want to spill things out yet. He was my best friend, and I felt like I’d royally let him down in a way that I couldn’t take back.
I’m so sorry, Rod…
“Whatever,” I muttered, looking down at the counter instead of my mom. “I’ll have my shit packed before then.”
I’ll need to tell Stacey, I thought, then grimaced.
It would be fucking awkward living in the same house as their dad. I still remembered mine, still remembered seeing him passed out on the floor, dying, while I was a kid. And, I remembered going to Rod’s house, ever since I was a kid, and sitting to dinner with their family, a part of me feeling envious. I’d wanted that life; having a sibling and both my parents alive and there every day. At one point, I’d even felt bitterness over it. Rod found out, but all he did, was tell me I could share his.
And now, I was all but taking it away.
It was just another thing to feel guilty over. That perfect family had been broken apart by my mom.
Whatever. I can just avoid them. Just because we’ll be living together doesn’t mean I’m okay with all this. They shouldn’t have done it in the first place, and keeping it a secret…
“How long,” I asked suddenly, badly wanting to know. “Just…how long were the two of you together? And how long did Rod know?”
Mom was silent for so long; I thought she wouldn’t answer. But then, she did.
/> “Years…” she whispered, voice so quiet, I might not have heard if the house wasn’t so quiet. “It’s been years. And Paul thinks Rod had known for about a month, maybe. Carol just a bit longer than that.”
And he hadn't thought to tell me a thing, or even Stacey. Because he didn’t want to worry us with it?
Or because he knew we were keeping things from him, and he didn’t trust us.
“I lost my appetite,” I said, getting up. I’d barely eaten anything. It had been like this for the past few days, but as I left the kitchen, Mom didn’t try to call me back.
My face crumpled as I rushed up the stairs and to my room. I slammed the door behind me, clicking it closed, and slowly slid down as tears spilled out of my eyes.
Damn it, Rod! If you’d said something, I could have helped. If I’d paid more attention to you and less to Stacey, especially after you talked to me that day… I would have stopped you from getting in that fucking car.
That’s what hurt the most for me. I’d seen the signs that things weren’t right. I just didn’t pay attention to them. More than anything, more than the pain of losing my friend, was my guilt of failing him that made me want to move far away.
Chapter 13
Stacey
I wasn’t sure how many days it had been since I’d last left the house. Since I went to school… since I last saw Kevin.
The situation at home had gotten worse. Mom had let Dad stay, and he’d kept to his word and stayed on the couch. He and I hadn't talked. Mostly because every time he tried, I ran away. Mom kept herself locked up in her room, our alliance cut short, and everyone ignored each other.
It is all Jenny’s fault.
The first time I had this thought, I was startled. Then, I felt guilty because she was Kevin’s mom. Kevin, who I still loved and hadn't seen in too long. I hated staying by myself in my room, but I didn’t feel like walking out either, unless it was to go to the bathroom, or to the kitchen to find some food.
One More Night: A Second Chance Romance (One More Series Book 4) Page 7
