by J. Conrad
“No,” I said. “I’m telling the truth.”
The Wolf Queen said, “I know of no one named Eiriana. And the idea that you’re the Fae maiden chosen to join our lines is ludicrous. The Fae Emissary is charged with bringing the woman at the appointed time. Have you been sent by the Calek? Are you in league with them? You must be, for how else could you have found me here in the dense woods? Most humans cannot even see Draugosero.”
Something about the last thing she said left a prickly jab in my heart, a resonance of a profound piece of knowledge. I didn’t know what it was, and I couldn’t think about it now with the very real possibility of being shredded by the massive wolf in her battle form. But one other piece of the puzzle fell into place and I blurted, “Lysidia! Yes, Lysidia is the one charged with bringing the maiden. Perhaps you know her by that name, but I believe she and Eiriana to be one and the same. Please, Your Majesty. I speak the truth—you mustn’t believe I intended harm. I didn’t know that being with Trystan was violating any rules. And I didn’t want to mate with him—not like that. We quarreled, and I left.”
Seren’s heavy breathing quieted slightly, her growl dwindling to a snarl and a curled lip. “My son did say you quarreled. And that you left.” She glared down at me, her large, canine eyes searching my face.
“What am I to do now?” I asked. My heart still pounded in a wild rabbit panic and an unwelcome ache was forming behind my eyes.
Where was I to go? Who was I to trust? No one told me anything, and I was punished for lacking information which had been denied to me. I blinked back tears from the unfairness of it all. Seren had told me the most yet, only to be angered to the point of shifting into a Rai for believing me a liar and messenger of the Calek. While I waited for an answer, the great, upright wolf regarded me at length, her breath coming out as blasts of mist in the cold air.
“The first thing you’re to do is stay away from Dunkrist. You’re not to den there. You’re not to seek Trystan under any circumstances,” Seren said.
I nodded, now immeasurably thankful I hadn’t mentioned exactly where I’d wanted to go when leaving Blaenwood earlier.
“If what you say is true, if you truly are the chosen female and your peculiar upbringing was Lysidia’s way of hiding you, then you shouldn’t be roaming the forest alone. Does Lysidia know you’re here?” she asked.
My stomach swooped like a hawk. “She doesn’t know where I am. She was urging me to stay home with my stepmother, who had locked me in the attic for a month and nearly starved me to death. Eiriana—Lysidia—wouldn’t tell me the reason I was to stay, only that I needed to do so in order for her to help me attend the royal ball with magic. I didn’t understand what staying at Blaenwood had to do with attending the ball, or what it had to do with her helping me.” I swallowed. “Or what it had to do with marrying the prince. My well-being was in danger there.”
“What is your stepmother’s name—the Calek?”
“Gwyneth Urien. Do you know her?” I asked.
“No, but I doubt that is her real name. The reason the Fae wants to keep you at home is likely so that this woman, this Calek, won’t suspect what we have planned. Since you’ve run away, however, the witch is probably taking measures for your capture. If she succeeds, it will be harder to escape next time, even with Lysidia’s help,” Seren said.
“I still don’t understand. Why must I stay in a home where I’m not wanted? Where I’m abused? If I’m to fulfill some destiny, why can’t I do it from elsewhere?” I asked. I clenched my jaw, firm in my resolve not to cry. The immediate danger of having my neck snapped seemed to have passed.
The Wolf Queen shook her head, frowning at me but not answering. I noticed her size diminishing. Her coal-black fur was melting away, her pointed ears seemed to slip back in her skull, the elongated muzzle flattened out to take a more human form. Then she was Seren, the woman, standing before me once again. She still scowled, her eyes clouded with doubt, but I guess she had changed her mind about killing me. She waved a hand at the men and they sat down, where they resumed their meal with the wolves. The pack made derogatory comments in thought-speak.
“I don’t know, Elin.” Seren sat back down and I followed, lowering myself down with weak, quivering legs. The Wolf Queen pulled another hunk from the roast, as though she hadn’t just changed into a giant, terrifying beast and threatened me. “Tell me more of the woman you call Eiriana. Tell me also what you know of the Calek, and of your time with my son.”
Chapter 15
Iwas relieved that we were going back to civil conversation, but I no longer felt the same about Seren. She had jumped to conclusions before allowing me to explain. I guess it was silly for me to assume Seren and I had any allegiance or friendship. We had only spent that short time together many years ago, when she saved Father and me. The child I used to be had viewed that as something special. I had known that bringing up Trystan was a bad idea, I guess I just hadn’t realized how bad.
With my chest still tight in a ball of nerves, I told Seren everything I knew of Gwyneth, Eiriana, and my months with Trystan and what I had learned from him. The Wolf Queen sat thoughtfully chewing her food, her eyes snapping up occasionally as she reflected on my words. I was no longer eating. I had lost my appetite when her fangs came out.
“Forgive me, Elin. I was rash to presume the worst of you,” she said once I had spilled everything.
“Of course,” I said, though I didn’t feel forgiving, only rattled. A chill lingered in my blood, reminding me to never let my guard down again.
“What you’ve imparted makes me suspect the Fae Emissary hasn’t told all. Fae can be a treacherous folk, as slippery as a river bank after a rain, and I’ll need to discover the additional purposes she’s been keeping from me. It makes me wonder what else she’s been hiding.”
I listened as Seren revealed to me her own knowledge, filling in the pieces I was missing. I finally learned what was going on and who the key players were in this war. I had never dreamed that my participation would be needed in any sort of role, or that my life had a purpose beyond getting my own questions answered—especially discovering what had befallen my mother.
The Wolf Queen told me, “The Calek are an old race, and they’ve meddled in the affairs of humans probably as long as humankind has existed. As you seem to already know, they are essentially witches. What the Calek desire is power. This, in and of itself, wouldn’t seem so different from any other race, but born with an inclination toward evil, their actions unbalance the forces of Edim. They are the reason your king’s lands have fallen upon such hard times. The Calek have wormed their way into the royal family over the years and have been exerting their influence. I have suspected that your human queen, Adain, is barren because of their treachery.
“Of course, such things aren’t usually a concern of the Draugosero. We protect the balance of nature in Edim. However, the Calek’s arm has grown so long that we too are affected. We’re not winning the war, only battles. The Calek prefer not to fight out in the open, as we do. They battle subversively. They work secretively, fraying the fabric of society until it rots away. That is why for nearly a century, we’ve been contriving a way to get the Fae to unite with us. With their magic, which is vastly more powerful than ours, we can eradicate the Calek.”
I asked, “Why do they desire so much power? What are they trying to achieve?”
“Ultimately, they want to control the Three Worlds,” Seren said. “As to why, all Draugosero learn of the Calek’s origin in the ancient lore. We have a story about The Good Queen Lorot, who was among the first of their kind. She was much like a human, but in tune with Edim and its forces and could harness them. However, in a time of great hardship she was forced to turn to wrongdoing to survive. Evil became the only way. This was passed to her children, and their children, and so forth. In present day, the Calek no longer have need of this, but over many thousands of years their methods have secured them such power that in their eyes, doing what we cons
ider evil is to their kind considered good.”
“What are the Three Worlds?” I asked, a chill racing up my arms.
“The Banal, which is what we think of as the ordinary world—what you call Edim. The other two are the spirit world and the Fae Realm,” she said.
I frowned, wondering how anyone could desire such absolute control, and what it would mean if they achieved it. “Are the Calek no longer capable of change? Could a Fae, or a Draugosero, or even a human, teach them a different way of life?” I asked.
“One day, perhaps. But I fear we have a long way to go before that is possible. In this time, most of them only understand force,” Seren said.
“When my mother was taken years ago, did the Calek know she was of Fae blood?” I asked.
“Undoubtedly. And they would have killed you too had I not interfered,” Seren said.
“How did they know she was part Fae? And why target a harmless half-blood woman on her way to town?” I asked.
“Most likely to prevent the very thing which will happen following the royal ball, when Trystan is joined with his bride. Just as a Draugosero can’t breed with another Draugosero, he can’t breed with a full-blooded Fae, only a halfling or lesser. This woman you call Gwyneth has no doubt been scheming her way into your family for some time. She hasn’t killed you because she has some other purpose for you, though I don’t what that is.”
I nodded. “I overheard Eiriana and Gwyneth speaking, and I found out. Gwyneth intends to use my blood in some midsummer ritual to try and turn herself into a human. My grandmother said she’s the ultimate paradox.”
Seren sat thoughtfully. “It is unheard of. Yes, it goes against everything the Calek stand for, and I’m left to wonder on the nature of her purpose. But if what you say is true, this may be an inlet to change—may be.”
The wolves were leaving the fireside and were milling about nearby, making camp as their queen had instructed. As I warmed my hands, I knew I’d better ask all my questions while I had the benefit of Seren’s knowledge.
“Seren, we had a funeral for my mother without ever seeing a body, and I was the only one who seemed to think that strange. Why did the Calek not kill her on site? I even heard one of them say, ‘The Lady wants her alive.’”
Seren frowned. “Elin, I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear. A true Fae is very hard to kill. They are immortal, or nearly so. However, with cold iron and the right type of power, it can be achieved. Calek have been known to kill Fae for their magic, which is called ‘glamour.’ If a witch succeeds in killing a Fae, then she claims the Fae’s power for herself. A half-Fae, like your mother, is not immortal, but she still has glamour in her blood, whether she uses it or not. But she can be killed just as an ordinary human can be killed.”
My candle flame of hope flickered. I refused to let it go out for good. I couldn’t. “I see. So, there’s a good chance the Calek killed my mother to steal her glamour.”
Seren frowned, the creases in her forehead deepening above empathetic eyes. “More than a good chance, Elin. Almost a guarantee.”
I nodded, staring into the fire as it licked the smoldering logs. Something she had said earlier finally surfaced in my mind, and I made the connection to Father. “I think you may have mentioned that most humans cannot see the Draugosero. What do you mean by this?”
“Yes. They almost never see our battle form, the Rai. Instead, they’ll usually see a large dog or an ordinary wolf. This is a part of our power. Fae have glamour, we have Raisnad, and the ability to receive gifts from spirits. Our powers protect us from much in the ordinary world. For the Draugosero must endure to protect the balance of Edim,” Seren said.
I wrung my hands before the flames, digesting what she said. My arms tingled, and I rubbed them. Father’s words flashed into my mind, and I saw his face looking down at me. I could still evoke the memory like it was yesterday.
Father had been sitting across from me at the table, speaking to me in a sympathetic voice. Elin, you were frightened, he had said. The feral dog that ran near our wagon was no wolf. It scared the horses, making it easier for the men to attack us. I know you’re grieving for your mother, as am I. But we mustn’t let our imaginations run wild, even though we may feel it helps to explain why she was taken from us. We both saw the highwaymen who waylaid and robbed us. And your mother’s death was a tragic accident. Nothing more.
For a moment I was completely frozen. Taking a deep breath, I turned to Seren and said, “So, all those years ago when you saved us, my father couldn’t physically see you. He’s a mortal human, not part Fae like Mother and me. So, I suppose that means… it wasn’t his fault. He really couldn’t see what I saw, no matter how close he was, or how long he looked.”
Seren tilted her head. “Of course. Humans often can’t perceive other magical creatures as well. We’ve existed side by side since the dawn of time, most of us hidden in plain sight.” To her, this understanding was as ordinary as tin, but my universe had been unhinged. The flames before us glowed a brighter shade of gold. The sounds nearby were sharper, the leaves pleasantly crisp beneath the wolves’ paws. The cold wind seemed subdued, my cheeks oddly warm despite the wind. And strangest of all, it ignited something deep within me and I knew I had to find Eiriana.
“Seren, where is the Fae Realm?”
Her bright, orange eyes took me in, and I could see myself reflected in their substance. “Elin, you don’t want to seek the Fae Realm. It should be used only as a last resort. It’s very dangerous, even for those of us who understand its principles.”
“I gathered as much,” I said. “But I must find Eiriana before it’s too late. I don’t have a lot of time before the ball.”
“Even if I were to show you a point of entry, only a True Fae can grant a human entrance to the Fae Realm,” Seren said. “You’re only part Fae. And it’s just as well, for most mortals who enter that terrifying and beautiful place never return. But there is somewhere I can take you which may fulfill your purposes. Come.”
She rose, the two males in human form following us, while the rest of the pack stayed behind. Leaving the clearing, we slipped back into the heart of the winter-bare forest. The breeze chaffed my face as I plodded along the uneven terrain until the land sloped. It appeared that we were heading toward the creek bed, but the Wolf Queen turned, sliding down into a gully which leveled out to a small, sheltered plateau at the side of a rock face. There grew a twisted, ancient hawthorn tree with a hollow at its base, like an animal had nested there. Around the roots, though the rest of the forest lay in a winter sleep, were shoots of green grass and brightly colored yellow and red toadstools. The hawthorn itself bore a few tiny, green leaves. I glanced at Seren.
“A whisper of spring lives here always,” the Wolf Queen said. “This is a sacred place, an entrance to the spirit world. There are many doors; this is but one. You are the first human I’ve ever brought here with me.” In the muted, grey light, Seren’s orange eyes seemed to glow against her white skin as she stared at me, seeking that I understand. I nodded, awaiting her instruction.
“Take my hand,” she said. I did so, and we knelt, putting our knees in the soft dirt near the strange, new grass. “You will close your eyes and won’t open them until I say. When we arrive in the spirit world, I’ll tell you to open them. Then you can seek aid from the spirit of your choice. You must be respectful and show your gratitude. And, a spirit may ask something in exchange for the gift he or she bestows upon you. When you’re ready, we will then leave together. Do you understand?”
Gripping Seren’s rough, cool fingers, I nodded slowly. “I think so.”
“Very good. Now close your eyes and try to keep your thoughts from wandering as we pass through the veil.”
With my body shivering and my heart racing, I did as she instructed. I tried to still my active mind by picturing the hawthorn tree with its branches overhanging the odd shelf in the forest which seemed to exist in a skewed time. A whisper of spring lives
here always, Seren had said.
“Open your eyes,” Seren whispered.
My eyes fluttered open, and at first it seemed that nothing had changed. We still knelt at the base of the ancient tree, and I steadied myself with my hand in the dirt before standing up. The wild mushrooms still peopled the roots with vibrant colors, and the spring grasses remained. But as I swept my gaze over the rest of our surroundings and its perimeter, I saw that the forest wasn’t in so deep a slumber as when we had left it. Many of the other trees had buds and new leaflets, and as I inhaled I caught the scent of rain and damp earth. Looking to the gully below us, instead of a dry creek bed the land leveled out into a small, clear pond. A few brown ducks were leaving trails in its peaceful surface. Overhead, I heard birds fluttering in the treetops and listened as their songs carried down to us. Seren released my hand and I blinked. The spirit world was much like the ordinary world, yet it seemed more alive, never allowing the little death of winter to wholly consume it.
Seren’s two companions hadn’t joined us. I asked, “Where are your guards?”
The Wolf Queen smiled. “They wait for my return on the other side. Now, choose the spirit whose aid you wish to seek.”
I didn’t know what I was looking for. Would these spirits she spoke of appear as apparitions from ghostly stories? Or would they hover in the air as luminous orbs of starshine?
Seeing my furtive casting about in all directions, Seren placed a hand on my shoulder. “There.” She pointed to a shimmering, pink flower which grew on the side of a young apple tree. “And there.” She gestured to a doe which I had not even seen until that moment. The deer looked up at us from her grazing several yards away. “And there.” I followed her finger to a holly bush covered in bright, red berries. Thinking I should choose something, I made the short walk to the holly bush. My hands felt awkward at the end of my arms. My body felt out of place here.
“What do I do?” I whispered to Seren, trying to keep the absurdity of speaking to a holly bush from my mind.
