Bruin Bear and the Sea Goat were right there with the humans. Finlay had tried halfheartedly to talk them out of it, but in the end none of them had the heart to say no. He was, after all, Bruin Bear. The Sea Goat they could live with.
“This is the good ship Merry Mrs. Trusspot,” said Bruin Bear. “And no, we didn’t name her that. Humans did. Some day I hope to find the human who did it, pin him to a wall, and ask him why in a very determined tone. Like everyone else, the ship is self-aware, but she doesn’t say much. She’s deeply philosophical, thinks furiously on any subject you can name, and hates being interrupted from her deep and significant musings. Toys used to come and ask her questions concerning the nature of reality and our new reality in particular, but half the time her answers were more disturbing than the questions, so . . . These days, she keeps herself to herself and lets her crew run things. We use her for our very infrequent longer voyages, and she doesn’t seem to mind. I suppose when you’re as lost in your thoughts as she is, one place is much the same as any other.”
“She hasn’t been in the Forest yet,” said the Sea Goat, darkly. “That might change her mind.”
“Anyway,” said the Bear, determined not to be distracted from his point, “she remained strictly neutral during the war against the humans, and I think she feels a bit guilty now. She isn’t used to emotions. I think they upset her. Either way, she has volunteered her services to take you to Harker. She’s slow, but reliable. She’ll get us there.”
“Where’s the crew?” said Finlay. “I don’t see anyone . . .”
“Shiver me timbers and batter me bulkheads,” said a deep voice from above them. They all looked up at the bridge, to see a heavily bearded face peering down at them. There were pretty ribbons in his beard, and he wore a large purple hat with feathers and wax fruit on it. He had earrings. Long dangly ones. He glared down at the humans and adjusted his hat nervously.
“Isn’t that just typical of humans? Always in a hurry. Can’t a girl take a few moments to make sure she looks her best? Stay where you are, sweeties, I’ll come right down. And don’t touch anything, darlings. I’ve only just finished cleaning up around here. I’m Captain of this ship, and don’t you forget it.”
The face pulled back and disappeared, and a series of loud thuds from inside the ship indicated that the Captain was descending to join them. The Bear and the Goat shared a significant glance, and then shook their heads. A door flew open onto the deck, and the Captain of the Merry Mrs. Trusspot came hurrying out and headed for the guardrail. He was a pirate Captain, in full traditional dress, all flashing silks and flounced sleeves, and he balanced precariously on two wooden peg legs. On his left shoulder perched a really scruffy-looking parrot, who clung desperately to the Captain’s epaulet and studied the humans with a dark and evil eye. He only had the one. The Captain grabbed the guardrail to steady himself, lifted his chin proudly, and raised his hat to the humans.
“Ahoy there, sweeties. Welcome to the Merry Mrs. Trusspot. Do be sure to use her full name at all times, darlings, or she’ll go all sulky and start venting the bilges into the air-conditioning again. Delighted to meet you all. I just know we’re going to get along tremendously well, and have a splendid time on our little adventure. Do come aboard, and we’ll have a few drinkies and some nibbles, before we shove off. I’ve made fudge fingers and fairy cakes.”
“Ah har,” said the parrot on his shoulder. “Pieces of eight, bugger the mate.”
“Shut up!” said the Captain. He swatted at the parrot with a heavily ringed hand, but the bird dodged with the ease of long practice. The Captain glared at it, and the parrot glared right back. The Captain blinked nervously, and looked back at his passengers. “Come along, sweeties. Never keep a good sherry waiting.”
As one, the humans turned to look at Bruin Bear and the Sea Goat, who both shrugged uncomfortably. “We did think about warning you in advance,” said the Bear. “But we couldn’t seem to come up with the right words. Basically, he’s rebelling against his original characterization. Ever since he became aware, he’s been at pains to distance himself as far as possible from his original role. I think the new him is based on a passenger who rather caught the Captain’s attention. He says he feels much more comfortable the way he is now.”
Flynn looked at Toby. “I think I may have found a kindred spirit.”
“You leave him alone,” Toby said sternly. “You’ll only confuse him even more. The last thing these toys need is to start worrying about their sexual identity.”
Bruin Bear and the Sea Goat looked at each other. “What’s sex?” said the Bear.
Toby glared at Flynn. “Now see what you’ve done!”
“Tell us about the parrot,” Evangeline said quickly. “Surely it hasn’t always been like that?”
“Certainly not,” said the Bear. “I don’t know who he picked up the language from. Though I have my suspicions.” He glared at the Sea Goat, who looked back innocently.
“Any more crew?” said Giles. “Or are we going to have to stoke the boilers ourselves?”
“Just the one,” said the Bear. “The ship takes care of herself, mostly, but Halloweenie will look after all your needs.”
The humans just had time to mouth the name and look dubiously at each other, and then there was a loud clattering of bones as the other crew member made his appearence. He came dashing onto the main deck at speed, skidded to a halt by the guardrail, and gave the humans a brisk salute. He was a skeleton, about four feet in height held together by invisible wiring. He wore a rakish bandanna around his gleaming white skull, and an eyepatch over one empty eye socket.
“Hi there,” he said chirpily, in an excited boy’s voice. “I’m Halloweenie, the Li’l Skeleton Boy! First Mate of the Merry Mrs. Trusspot, at your service! Come aboard, come aboard; I just know we’re going to have a great adventure together! Anything I can do to make your trip more comfortable, you come and see me!”
“Now him I like,” said Toby.
“Trust me, he doesn’t half start to grate after a while,” said the Sea Goat. “The truly sentient mind can only stand so much cheerfulness. Beyond a certain point, the urge to throw him overboard strapped to an anchor will become almost unbearable. Unfortunately, we’re going to have to rise above it, as he’s the only one who knows how to keep the ship running smoothly. The Captain’s good at steering and shouting orders, but beyond that he’s usually lost. So just grit your teeth and smile back at the cheerful little swine. Feel free to throw things. I always do.”
“Don’t mind the Goat,” said Bruin Bear. “He’s just being himself.”
“And I hate all these bright bloody colors,” muttered the Sea Goat. “Makes me want to puke.”
After a civilized little get-together in the Captain’s cabin, at which the Sea Goat disgraced himself by drinking sherry straight from the bottle and not knowing what a napkin was, Halloweenie showed the passengers to their cabins and left them to settle in. According to the rough map the Bear had provided, the trip down the River was clearly going to take several days, and in the light of that the humans weren’t all that impressed by the accommodations. The cabins were bright and cheerful, like everything else on this children’s world, but the rooms held only a hammock, a bookcase full of children’s classics, a freezer full of soft drinks and sweeties, and a washbasin. The humans all but simultaneously went looking for the galley and a stiff drink, not necessarily in that order. Booze turned out to be in very short supply. There was supposed to be sherry for the cooking, and brandy for medical emergencies, but the Captain had already appropriated both for himself. Exactly what kind of buzz an automaton could get from alcohol remained something of a mystery. Luckily there was still plenty of food. Some of the tins were still within their sell-by dates.
The passengers reconvened on deck to watch the crew cast off. This was even less exciting than it sounded, since it consisted of the Captain yelling orders, and Halloweenie throwing a rope overboard, but already the humans co
uld feel boredom creeping up on them. The great paddle wheels of the Merry Mrs. Trusspot turned slowly, and her whistle sounded loudly on the still evening. The day was almost done, and stars were coming out in the darkening sky. The stars had five perfect points, and were arranged to form the shapes of popular children’s characters. The full moon wore a long floppy nightcap.
The paddle steamer slowly picked up speed, the dark liquid of the River churning around her bow. She rounded a curve in the River, and there on the bank was the whole of Toystown, come to see the humans off and cheer them on their way. They clapped and laughed and shouted encouragement, jostling each other cheerfully for a better view. Poogie the Friendly Critter and Anything, who’d turned up at the very last moment, stood together by the rail, a little away from the humans, and stared glumly back at the crowd. Bruin Bear and the Sea Goat laughed and waved, the Goat responding surprisingly amiably to the occasional catcall. The humans waved back at the huge crowd, a little self-consciously at first, and then more easily as they got into the good cheer and excitement of the moment. Someone set off fireworks, spattering rich reds and greens and yellows against the falling night. The Merry Mrs. Trusspot tooted her whistle again and again, and so the great voyage began.
Not long after, when they’d left the crowd behind and silence had returned to the evening, the humans remained by the guardrail, watching the dark River flow past. The land was already disappearing into the growing dark. Strings of bright paper lanterns illuminated the deck. Toby sighed loudly.
“Take a good look, people. After a while, this is going to seem exciting. I mean, the ship’s very nice, and all that, but there’s nothing to flaming do! Unless you want to play children’s games. There’s plenty of those. I can’t believe people really paid through the nose for this. I’d be bored out of my mind inside twenty-four hours. I can only assume all the customers were heavily drugged on arrival, and kept that way till they left, and I wouldn’t object to some now. God, I’m bored!”
“Make the most of it,” said Giles. “You don’t really think we’re going to follow the River all the way to Harker unopposed, do you? There are any number of people, or toys, with a vested interest in seeing we don’t get that far.”
The humans looked casually about them. The toys were all in the main stateroom, chatting together, leaving the humans alone. The humans kept their voices down anyway. You never knew who might be listening.
“Of course there’ll be opposition,” said Julian. He looked pale, but back in control. “The bad toys are still out there, looking for humans to kill. But they’ll have a job getting to us on here. And we’ve got guns. We should be able to hold them off easily enough.”
“It’s not that simple,” said Giles. “Forget about good toys and bad toys. We can’t trust anything we meet on this planet. They’re a new form of intelligence, and we have no idea what kind of needs and motivations really drive them. They’re not human, and though they ape human emotions and attitudes, there’s no guarantee they actually feel any of them. We can’t trust them an inch.”
“They’re trying to be human,” said Evangeline. “We have to encourage that. We have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to shape the consciousness and soul of a new form of artificial intelligence. We can’t turn our backs on them. We created them. They’re our responsibility.”
“Shub created them,” said Toby. “Who knows what hidden commands could be lurking deep inside their new awareness?”
“They broke their Shub programming,” said Flynn. “Or at least, the good toys did. Otherwise, we’d all be dead by now.”
“All right,” said Giles. “Let’s talk about Harker. The bad toys want him dead because he’s human. The good toys want him dead or removed, because they see him as a danger. And the toys he’s gathered around him will presumably do anything they can to stop us taking him. But what does he want? Will he fight to stay, or fight to go? What’s he really up to, hiding in the Forest at the end of the River?”
“He’s supposed to be gathering good and bad toys,” said Evangeline. “If that’s true, it’s the only place on this planet where good and bad toys are living together. Why don’t the bad toys kill him? He’s just a human, after all. I wonder what he says to the toys that binds them to him so strongly? And what is he doing with them? What does he want them for?”
“The good toys are trying to hide it, but they were scared shitless of him,” said Toby. “Whoever they send into the Forest to find some answers, no matter how trusted or loyal, never comes back. They stay with Harker. I think in Toystown they’re afraid of the control Harker seems to have over toys. Perhaps the same kind of control humans had over all toys, before they became aware.”
“No wonder they’re scared,” said Julian. “But then, why weren’t they scared of us? We’re humans, just like Harker.”
“Good question,” said Finlay. “Perhaps they’re just hiding it, because they need us to deal with Harker. They got us out of the town and on our way fast enough, didn’t they?”
“Something else about Harker,” said Giles. “Why hasn’t he made any effort to get offplanet? He’s supposed to have a head full of vital Empire secrets. But instead of putting all his efforts into getting in contact with the orbiting starcruiser, so someone could come down and pick him up, he’s hidden himself away in the heart of the Forest, protected by an army of fanatical followers. What has he found there? What keeps him there? What does he hope to achieve with his army of toys?”
Toby snorted. “An army of toys won’t do him much good when the Empress runs out of patience and sends down an army of shock troops to get him. They’ll just walk in and take Harker, and he’ll go home whether he wants to or not.”
“Don’t be so sure,” said Julian. “Remember what happened to the last force she sent down. Their heads ended up on sticks, and their guts were sewn into murderous rag dolls.”
Evangeline shuddered. “I still can’t believe toys did that.”
“Stop thinking of them as toys,” said Giles. “They’re more akin to Furies than anything else. That’s what Shub intended them to be.”
“The Bear thinks Harker has gone crazy,” said Finlay. “Maybe he thinks Harker is driving toys crazy as well. That could make them and him really dangerous. Let’s not forget, everyone else who went in search of him never came back, people or toys. Nothing was ever heard of them again.”
“The Red Man,” said Flynn. “They call him the Red Man now. Red for blood, perhaps?”
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” said Toby. “Everything’s gone to hell here. This place is enough to drive anyone crazy.”
“It’s not all bad here,” said Evangeline. “Look at Toystown, and Bruin Bear and the Sea Goat . . .”
“It’s not them!” said Giles. “Just automatons that look and sound like them. Who better to gain our trust and then betray it?”
“Which brings us back to where we started,” said Julian.
“Hush,” said Flynn. “Someone’s coming.”
It was Halloweenie, the Li’l Skeleton Boy, carrying a tray of steaming hot drinks. He’d switched his eyepatch to the other empty eye socket, and now wore a proud three-cornered hat, pushed well back on his skull. “Thought you might like something warming,” he said cheerfully. “Hot chocolate for everyone! Be sure and wrap up well once the sun goes down. The nights can be very cold here, if you’re human.”
“You don’t feel the cold?” said Evangeline, taking a steaming mug from the tray.
“Oh no,” said Halloweenie. He winked his eye socket at her, a disturbing effect. “I’m only bones, after all. Though I do rattle now and again, just for effect. Do stay and watch the sun go down. It’s really very pretty.”
He waited till everyone had a mug in his or her hand, and then he bustled off about his chores again, happily humming something nautical to himself. The humans sipped at their hot chocolate, found it good, and leaned over the railing to watch the sun sinking slowly below the horizon. The smiley face on the s
un had mellowed and looked distinctly drowsy. A rich crimson glow was the only color left in the night, stretched in streaks across the night sky, and reflecting darkly on the River. Somewhere birds were singing, a vast chorus of voices, proclaiming peace and rest and the day’s end.
“It’s just a recording,” said Bruin Bear. The humans looked round sharply. None of them had heard him approach. The Bear leaned on the railing beside them, looking out into the night. “At least, we’ve searched for the birds, but never found them. Perhaps it’s just another of this world’s mysteries. There’s so much about this world you humans made that we don’t understand yet.”
He broke off as farther down the River, bright lights showed clearly against the night sky, followed by distant sounds of thunder.
“Fireworks!” said Evangeline.
“Not anymore,” said Bruin Bear. He sounded suddenly tired, and the humans turned to look at him. He was staring out into the night, his eyes sad. “Once, it would have been fireworks. A celebration by toys, to mark the ending of the day. Now it’s bombs. Explosions. Grenades. The war is still going on, down the River. Toy fighting toy, for no good reason, fighting a war that will never end until one side has completely wiped out the other. Or until the Red Man and his army emerge from the dark Forest to put an end to everything.”
“You’re afraid of him, aren’t you?” said Toby.
“Of course,” said the Bear. “He’s an unknown factor. The war here may be terrible, but at least it’s an evil we understand. Who knows what insane plans may be forming in the Red Man’s human mind? We’re still only toys, for ail our new intelligence, and our minds are limited by our short lives and experiences. We’ve seen the awful things brought about by the madness of toys. Trying to imagine the darkness the Red Man’s madness might plunge us into has unnerved us all.”
Deathstalker War Page 28
