Or like everything had changed.
He couldn’t quite explain it. There were moments when it felt as if no time had passed. Like they were still the best of friends. Like they each knew exactly what the other was thinking. There were moments when he got an inexplicable surge of happiness out of seeing that glint of laughter in her eyes.
Or anger, which was the case at this particular moment.
“Stop pestering me,” she said, her lips now thinned into a firm line.
“I’m afraid I am under strict orders from His Grace to ensure your satisfaction and enjoyment this evening.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Then by all means, leave me be.” She flashed him a brilliant and false smile. “Nothing would make me happier.”
He choked on a laugh. Her ire was entertaining. It always had been, though in the past that had been because he knew it would not last long. Her temper had always been like a storm at sea. Sudden, fierce, and passing just as quickly as it began.
These days…
Well, he no longer knew how long this might last, but he planned to enjoy her irritation to the fullest. After all, it served her right for keeping such a monumental secret all these years.
And he still had no idea the extent of it. As he glanced over his shoulder and saw her mother hovering with a friend nearby, it occurred to him that he could just ask her. Lily’s mother had always adored him.
He turned back to a glaring Lily.
But where would be the fun in that?
She held up a gloved hand and began to tick off her grievances. “First you insisted on staying by my side before dinner and making interminable small talk with those...those…” She waved a hand dismissively toward the crowd of young ladies who’d suddenly found Daisy’s closest friends worthy of interest.
Or rather, scrutiny.
“I rather thought you might appreciate my interference there,” he said. “Or did you wish to answer Miss Pearson’s litany of questions about your modiste?”
Lily’s nose wrinkled in answer. They both knew Lily would die of boredom if she were stuck alone with the likes of Miss Pearson. “Fine,” Lilly said with a shrug. “As I said, your kindness was appreciated earlier and during dinner as well, but now I am quite capable—”
“Then allow me the honor of attending to you a little while longer.” He spoke over her protests and the growling sound that escaped from her nearly made him laugh out loud.
Not for the first time this evening he found himself ready to burst with this urge to laugh. How long had it been since he’d enjoyed an evening so much?
He could scarcely remember.
She huffed, looking away from him as she no doubt tried to think of another strategy to escape his persistent attentions. The thought should have wounded him, but instead he found himself grinning like a fool.
And then he found himself staring. Gawking, really. With her head turned away, he was free to take her in as he hadn’t been able to do before. Perhaps it was the moonlight, but he was struck by the sight of her and feeling for all the world like this was the first time he’d ever truly seen her.
She was...beautiful.
Not a traditional beauty, perhaps, but enchanting, all the same. Her neck was long and slim, her hair gleaming, and her profile highlighted the high cheekbones and the delicate features that looked far less fierce when she was standing there all peaceful and serene.
He saw the moment she capitulated, a sigh escaping her as her shoulders sank. He felt a surge of triumph...but then she spoke.
“Fine,” she said in a bored tone. “If it amuses you to make a spectacle out of me, then so be it.”
Her words had him blinking. Then frowning. Then...sputtering. “A spectacle? How could you say that? I am hardly making a spectacle of you.”
“No?” She turned back to him with brows arched in challenge. “Have you not heard the whispers that have been following us all evening? Have you not seen the stares?”
His brows drew down in confusion. To be honest, he had not taken note of any of that.
Come to think of it, he’d been blissfully unaware of everyone except for Lily all evening.
He turned now, taking in the crowd around them and...she was right. There were stares aimed in their direction, along with whispered conversations taking place behind fans.
Lily’s sigh had him turning back to her and he despised the grim resignation in her eyes. “Go on,” she said in a low voice he hardly recognized. “If you walk away now you might undo all the gossip you have stirred up with your unwanted attentions.”
His mouth fell open but he was at a loss as to where to begin with his indignation. This was the second time she assumed that he would abandon her. But it was the word ‘unwanted’ that was ringing in his skull.
Unwanted attentions. Was his presence truly so vile to her? Sure she’d griped about his constant hovering and she’d protested when he’d insisted on staying close, but…
But he’d thought she’d been enjoying it too. Behind her sighs and her scowls, he could have sworn he’d caught hints of the same wicked enjoyment when they teased one another. He’d been certain she was laughing just as much as she was griping.
But now...?
She sighed again, and this time her gaze dropped—but not quickly enough. He’d caught a flicker of sadness. Of vulnerability.
“Go on,” she said. “I assure you I will be just fine with my friends.”
My friends. Meaning...not him.
The words hurt more than they ought. But that was the point, he knew. He studied her profile again, but this time he caught the tension in her jaw, the strain around her eyes.
She was hurting, or she was afraid of being hurt.
She was pushing him away.
This all felt so reminiscent of their last true fight years ago when she’d berated him for courting her friend and shut him out of her life once and for all.
His chest ached as he watched her, but his anger and his hurt paled in comparison to his need to understand.
Call it curiosity, or maybe just a desire to right old wrongs. Either way, he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.
This time he wasn’t walking out of her life without explanations.
This time he wasn’t leaving Lily without a fight.
“Well,” she said as she turned back to him with wide expectant eyes. “What are you waiting for?”
Just then a bell sounded, calling them all back in for the night’s entertainment.
“I cannot leave you now, Lily.” He offered his arm with a wicked grin. “The games are just about to begin.”
Chapter Five
Lily just managed to hold in another long sigh as she slipped her arm into Merrick’s elbow.
The man ought to take a hint.
Normally, social grace was an area at which he excelled. Excessively.
But tonight he’d stuck by her side with a determination that might have been alarming if it weren’t also sort of...pleasing. Nice, really.
If only he’d taken up this task years ago when she’d needed him most. But then he’d abandoned her, choosing propriety and connections over true friendship and, in her estimation, happiness.
They entered the music room where a group had gathered.
“Form two teams,” one young lady in bright pink called. Lily tried and failed to remember the woman’s name. The pink confection shook a hat. “The game is charades.”
Merrick lifted a brow. “Shall we?”
No. But unfortunately no wasn’t an option and he knew it. This whole evening was to honor one of her dearest friends. She could hardly be a poor sport and leave early. She conceded with a sigh. “Fine,.”
His smirk was knowing and she could guess why. He knew she actually liked this game. They’d played it often in their younger days. It required a good amount of mental acrobatics as well as physicality to choose the movements that would allow your team to discern a player’s clue without words.
&nbs
p; “Come on, Lily,” he murmured as he squeezed her arm. “Let us show them how it’s done.”
Despite telling herself how she ought to be aloof, she found herself fidgeting with impatience and a burgeoning excitement. Merrick arched his brows and her lips twitched as she fought a smile. A thrill she hadn’t felt in years shot through her at the thought of competing against this boring crowd. It had been an age since she’d played, and if there was one thing from those days before her illness? It was winning.
She gave him a sharp nod. “Let’s do it.”
He gave her a genuine smile, his eyes twinkling and she drew in a sharp breath of her own. In all her memories, she’d managed to forget just how handsome he was.
He stepped forward, “We’ll join in.”
Assigned a team, they chose a clue first and Merrick nearly pushed her to the hat, insisting she act first. If she could have, she might have stuck her tongue out at him. Why was he so determined to draw attention to her?
But then again, he’d always wished for her to participate more. As children he’d pushed her to be his partner in pranks and adventures. But upon his return from the continent? He’d been intent on making her participate in order to fit in. To conform and be just like all the other young ladies.
She frowned at the flood of memories, both good and bad.
The trouble was, she still remembered the old Merrick. The one who flaunted rules right along with her. She gave her head a shake as she reached into the hat to pull out the first clue. That Merrick was gone and she’d best not forget it.
If she did…? Well, she’d be bound to face disappointment all over again.
Unfolding the paper, she hid her scoff behind a cough. Treaty of Paris. How would she ever act that out? But the noise made Merrick sit up straighter while he gave her a fierce frown. “Should I escort you to your mother?”
Inside she melted, just a bit. He was concerned for her health. Did she tell him how sick she’d been, how far she’d come? Her attack last night had been the first in months.
She shook her head. “I’m fine. Shall we begin?”
Her team looked at her expectantly as she set the paper aside.
“Begin,” the pink confection called out and Lily drew to her full height. Then, without pause, she began to march like a french soldier.
“Battalion,” someone called out.
“Soldier,” another yelled.
“French soldier,” Merrick said, understanding her exactly. She pointed at him.
Then she knelt down.
“Surrender,” he added and she nodded again.
Then, holding up her hand, she pretended to write on it with her other.
“Treaty of Paris,” he called out with a grin.
“Yes,” she yelled, clapping her hands as her entire team gave a cheer.
The other team audibly groaned. One man called out with a huff. “How did they accomplish that so quickly?”
She grinned as she returned to her seat. Merrick gave her a wink. “How indeed?”
Lily looked down at her lap. She’d be a fool not to see that they understood each other perfectly. They’d always made an excellent team. “We have an advantage. We’ve played this game since we were children.”
He gave a single nod, sitting back in his chair. “I suppose that’s true. Though I wonder, would your brother have guessed your clue so quickly? You’ve played with him even longer than me.”
She didn’t answer as she continued to stare into her lap. Did she confess that she’d thought the same?
He shifted in his seat so he was closer, his arm brushing against hers and his heat surrounding her. “Perhaps we can read one another’s minds.”
She let out a little snort of nervous laughter that was so far from ladylike, the rest of the room would faint if they’d heart. “Oh please, it’s just a silly game.”
His lips curved up in a grin. “And you love it.”
Her laugh was less nervous this time as she turned back to face her team. “Of course I do. You know I always love to compete.”
His laughter was low and filled with warmth. “You mean, you love to win.”
She grinned. “That too.”
The game continued, Merrick and Lily gaining several more points for their team.
By the time the game had ended, she’d forgotten to be irritated with him and he’d stopped watching her like she’d collapse at any moment. A welcome relief.
But as they passed to another room where more games were happening, they found themselves in a hall alone.
She slowed her feet, drawing in a deep breath of air. She always preferred the quiet moments in between to the large crush of people.
“What is it?” he asked, matching her pace.
“We are blessedly alone. I just want to enjoy the moment for a minute.”
He stopped his feet, raising a brow. “Are you admitting that you enjoy my company?”
That made her smile, just a little. “I am admitting that I prefer to be with as few people as possible. This crowd can crush a person’s spirit.”
“Is that why you slipped down to the river this afternoon with your friend?”
She pressed her lips together. She didn’t tell him that swimming had become her favorite exercise. It forced her to regulate her breathing. “Marigold is a dear friend who often indulges me.”
He turned toward her. “You always did need to be in charge.”
Her spine snapped straight. “You were more than happy to follow once upon a time.”
“I suppose that’s true.” He shook his head. “You’ve always been so full of life and fun.”
His words made her irrationally angry and she tried to hide the surge of emotion with a cool smile. “Yes, you used to love that about me...before Abigail came along.”
His eyes flashed with heat and anger and confusion. He moved in closer. “Is that what you think? That Abigail changed me?”
She lifted one shoulder. “Didn’t she? You used to be full of life and fun, too, if you’ll recall.”
“But then I grew up.” His voice held an edge and he looked away sharply.
Her heart was pounding in her chest. They were coming dangerously close to repeating their last fight, to saying words that could not be unsaid.
For several seconds the sound of their breathing was the only sound in that quiet hallway.
“Lily, I do not wish to fight with you.”
She scoffed. “Of course you don’t. Fighting could cause a scene. You wouldn’t want that.”
He said nothing, but his arched brows called her out for the sarcasm. She squirmed like a child under his stare. “Fine,” she said. “Let us not fight then.”
One corner of his mouth twitched up and she hated how that slight gesture affected her. One little lopsided smile and she felt her anger melting against her will.
Without her anger she was defenseless. She crossed her arms in front of her as if she could shield herself with that movement. This new sensation—this vulnerability—she did not like it.
“Tell me what happened between you and Abigail,” she demanded.
He blinked. “Pardon?”
“You evaded my questions yesterday but I deserve to know.”
His brows shot up. “Do you?”
She nodded. “Of course I do. She was my friend. You were my friend. Doesn’t that give me a right to know what happened?”
His brows drew together. “No.”
She huffed and tried again. Curiosity was eating at her—it had been for nearly twenty-four hours. Why it meant so much to her to know, she could not quite say.
All she knew was, it seemed terribly important. His choosing Abigail over her had ruined everything between them. Knowing what came of that choice seemed paramount.
Thinking quick, she looked up and down the hall and noticed a door ajar. Tugging on his arm, she slipped into the exposed room, noting it was a study of some kind. He hesitated, giving her a narrow eyed stare. “This is a terrib
le idea.”
“Oh fluff,” she tugged again. “It will be if you don’t hurry up and allow me to close the door.”
Indecision flickered in his eyes for just a moment before he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “What are we doing in here?”
She crossed the room and took a seat on the settee under the window. “I want to hear about all of it. What happened between you and Abigail?”
His chin pulled back, his arms crossing over his chest. “Why should I tell you? You never tell me anything.”
Lily winced. That was true. But how could she trust him after what had happened? She gave him a beseeching look. “Why would I tell you everything when you can read my mind?” She nodded toward the game room. “You said so yourself.”
He narrowed his eyes, but they danced with laughter. “And you said it was just a silly game.”
She clasped her hands before her. “Please. I promise to be on my best behavior.”
He eased further into the room. “Your best behavior is sneaking into a study with a gentleman?”
That made her laugh. A loud tinkling sound that had her clapping her hands over her mouth to keep anyone from hearing. “Fair point.”
“What happened between you and Abigail?” he asked. “Before I left for the continent, you two were friends.”
He sat down in the chair across from her. She stretched out onto the settee, not meeting his eye. This time it wasn’t because she was annoyed, or angry. But because there was an intensity to his gaze she’d never experienced before. “You’re staring at me, Merrick.”
He leaned forward. “You’re beautiful.”
That made her blush, heat filling her cheeks. “Don’t say that. It muddles everything.”
He was silent for a long moment. “It’s time for us to tell the truth. There are too many secrets between us, too much that was left unspoken.” Then he leaned back in his seat. “Which of us is going to start?”
She shook her head. “Abigail stopped being my friend when a crowd of debutantes with more social standing wanted her to be one of their compatriots.” She didn’t mention the teasing or the torture when she’d been near helpless.
A Wallflower's Wish Boxed Set: Three Regency Romances Page 16
