He watched her chatting with Cece and promising Rita Dalton to help out with the church’s summer food drive. And when she passed Myron the vegetables, he had a revelation. She handed over the big bowl piled high with corn on the cob, and Will realized that he’d been waiting all his life for her.
All his life, he’d been moving toward that Saturday four weeks ago, when he’d spotted her at the punch table in Rust Creek Falls Park and couldn’t get to her fast enough. For so many years, she’d been too young. And then he’d been too wrapped up in his dream of having a ranch to call his own.
He’d almost missed out. But fate had stepped in. He’d woken up on July 5 married to her.
And now, here they were, husband and wife, sitting at either end of the Sunday dinner table.
There was only one problem. It couldn’t last. Because her dream wasn’t his dream.
Or did that even matter? Why couldn’t she have her dream and be his wife, too?
After all, she wanted him—since last Wednesday, she’d proved that every chance either of them got. And she’d chosen him for her first. Would it be so impossible that she might want him for her one and only?
They got along great and worked together like they’d been doing it all their lives. And when they fought or things got rocky, they worked through it. They got to the bottom of the problem and found a way to resolve it.
She was perfect for him.
And maybe she thought he was all right with her, too. Maybe, just like him, she was sitting down there at her end of the table trying to think of a way to tell him that she didn’t want to be his temporary wife anymore. That she wanted those vows they’d exchanged on the Fourth of July—the vows that neither of them could exactly remember—to be legal and binding before God and the world.
For the rest of their lives.
* * *
That night, after everyone left, he was just about to tell her what he felt in his heart.
But then she kissed him. And he ended up doing more showing than telling.
On Monday, as usual, she went off to work in town. He drove into Kalispell to pick up a few things. While he was there, he ran into Elbert Lutello on the sidewalk outside the feed store.
Elbert shook his hand. “How’s that beautiful bride of yours?”
“She’s amazing,” he answered, and meant it.
“The assistant county clerk told me you two came in to pick up dissolution papers.” Elbert gave him a stern frown. Before Will could decide how to respond to that, Elbert was all smiles again. “But you never brought them back, so I’m guessing it’s all working out for you two lovebirds, after all.”
“You’re right, Elbert,” Will replied and refused to feel bad about not revealing the whole truth. “I’m the happiest man alive.”
“Excellent. Wonderful. That is just what I wanted to hear. Carmen will be so pleased.”
“Tell Her Honor that I said hello.”
“I’ll do that,” Elbert promised.
They shook hands again and wished each other well.
And before he left Kalispell that day, Will took a big step in the direction of claiming what he wanted most. As he drove home, he promised himself that he was going to take his chance. That night, he would make his move.
But then, at the dinner table, she reminded him that they really needed to get over to the Kalispell courthouse by the end of the week and turn in the dissolution papers so that their court date would come before she left for Missoula.
In a cautious tone that set his teeth on edge, she asked, “Um, have you made any progress on getting everything filled out yet?”
That question made his belly burn with acid and his heart beat a sick rhythm under his ribs. He wanted to punch something. “I’ll get to it,” he told her in a voice that had back the hell off written all over it.
She kept after him. “I don’t mean to push, Will, but you really need to deal with those. It’s a lot of information, and you need to give yourself time to pull it all together.”
The damn things were completely filled out and waiting in the desk drawer in his office. He should have just said that, just eased her mind that he’d held up his end.
Instead, he jumped down her throat. “You are pushing, Jordyn. Will you back the hell off? I don’t need you nagging me.”
That shut her up. She pressed her lips to a thin line and just stared at him, big eyes full of hurt and confusion.
He felt like an ass, which made perfect sense because he was acting like one. With effort, he gentled his tone and promised, “I’ll have them ready by Friday. Will that do it?”
“Uh, yeah.” She forced a trembling smile. “Friday would be great. I’ll get the day off, and we’ll take them in.”
So that pretty much settled it. She’d made it clear what she wanted—for it to go the way they’d agreed from the first. He needed to enjoy the time they had together and let her go without fighting it when the moment came.
A little while later, he apologized for being a jerk about the papers. She kissed him and forgave him. He should have told her he had the papers filled out, but he didn’t, though he knew very well that was mean-spirited of him. Somehow, he couldn’t bear to admit to her that he had everything ready to make that trip to the courthouse.
Because he wasn’t ready, and he would never be. And maybe, deep inside, he kept hoping he would find a way to tell her what was in his heart.
And then, on Thursday while she was still at work, he picked up the mail. It included a fat packet in a big gray envelope from UMT. He could guess what was inside: housing options and meal plans, public transit information—all the student living stuff she needed settled before she started her new life.
In the post office, when he pulled that packet from his box, he had a bad urge to turn and toss it in the wastebasket a few feet away. But what good would that do, except to prove he was a horse’s ass?
That packet held the next step on her road to fulfilling her dream. No damn way he would ever do anything to mess with her dreams. He tucked it under his arm and headed for his truck.
At the house, he got out his dissolution papers. He left them on the breakfast nook table for her, next to the college packet. Then he changed his clothes and went out to work.
* * *
Jordyn spotted Will in the distance, on the rise above the stock pond, as she drove down the dirt driveway to the compound on her way home from work.
She saw him—and then she quickly turned her eyes to the dirt road again. The sight of him reminded her too sharply that tomorrow was the day. They would go into Kalispell and file the divorce papers.
If he’d filled them out.
But he’d promised her that he would. And he always kept his promises. She needed to stop stewing about it.
What was the worst thing that could happen? He’d fail—for the first time ever that she could remember—to keep his promise. And they would stay married for a while longer.
Staying married to Will...
It was exactly what she wanted.
Only not.
Uh-uh. No. She didn’t want him like that. She truly didn’t. She didn’t want to just wander into staying married because he hadn’t bothered to fill out the paperwork that would make them divorced.
She wanted his love. She wanted him to want to stay married to her. And she wanted him to say so in no uncertain terms.
But he hadn’t.
Then again, neit
her had she.
And she’d gone not declaring herself one better, now, hadn’t she? She’d nagged him about the papers until he’d growled at her to back off. And what message was he supposed to take from that, except that she must be pretty eager to get their marriage over with?
She needed to step up. And she needed to do it right away.
It was only...
What if he said no? What if he told her that he liked her a lot and enjoyed having sex with her, but as far as the two of them staying married, well, that wasn’t in his plans? What if he said that he wouldn’t be looking for a real wife for at least a couple of years yet?
She didn’t know if she could bear that—not that he would be so brutal about it. He would find a way to say it gently and sincerely, with kindness and care.
But it didn’t matter how he said it; her heart would end up in shreds. She just hadn’t managed to buck up and take a chance on a shredded heart. Not as of yet.
And time was running out.
She drove up to the house and parked in the cleared space next to Pia’s blue pickup. Inside, she went straight to the kitchen to check on the slow cooker. The pork stew was ready, so she turned the dial to the warm setting and moved on to the breakfast nook table where Will always left the mail.
Her student living packet had arrived.
And right next to it, he’d left a stack of papers.
It took her a moment to process what she was looking at, because suddenly her eyes brimmed with hot tears, and everything went blurry. But then she swiped the moisture away. She could see all too clearly again and had to admit what was right in front of her eyes: Will’s dissolution papers.
Her silly hands shook as she picked the damn things up and rifled through them. He’d filled in every blank in his bold, forward-slanting hand.
Damn him all to hell. He’d filled in all the blanks!
She yanked out a chair and fell into it and stared at the papers clutched in her hand. Oh, she did yearn to crumple them up in a wad and throw them in the trash, to tear them to tiny pieces, to strike a match and burn them to cinders.
Which was ridiculous.
She was ridiculous.
It wasn’t the papers’ fault if Will didn’t want to stay married to her.
And, please. How could she even know what Will might want? Had she asked him? Had she gone to him and told him honestly what she wanted?
No, on both counts.
Because she was a coward. A ridiculous coward. A wimpy, gutless, chickenhearted fool.
It had to stop. It had to stop right now.
She shot to her feet, dropped the papers on the table and stormed out the back door, banging the screen good and hard behind her. In the goat pen, the billy heard her coming. He set to crying like a baby. For a second or two, she was tempted to take a moment and go to him, to check on the kid, maybe see how Mama Kitty and her brood were doing in the barn.
But no. Uh-uh. No excuses. She was doing this. She was not letting herself back down or be distracted. She was letting the billy cry for now. And the kittens could wait. She’d visit them later.
The ornery rooster strutted toward her. She zipped around him and kept going. He crowed as she went by, but she didn’t turn.
Will was no longer in sight up on the rise. She kept going, anyway, clambering over a fence, breaking into a run up the slope, ignoring the cattle that lifted their heads to watch as she raced past.
At the top of the hill, she paused and put her hand to her forehead to block the sun’s glare. She scanned the rolling land before her—and spotted him.
He was down below, thigh-deep in the stock pond. He had a rope around what appeared to be a heifer and he struggled, pulling, trying to haul the animal to dry land. Both the critter and the man were covered in mud.
She took off at a run down the slope, wanting to get to him, needing to get it over with at last, to tell him what was in her heart, get it out there between them, whatever the consequences. He had his back to her as he towed on the rope, and he didn’t see her coming.
About ten feet from the muddy bank, she halted. Her breath tangled in her throat, her heart beating madly against the walls of her chest. She waited, giving him the time he needed to finish a tough job. She put her hand against her mouth to keep from distracting him as he coaxed and pulled and coaxed some more while the half-drowned heifer stared at him through dazed eyes and bawled in hopeless exhaustion.
He almost had the animal out of the thick mud at the edge of the water when the heifer’s legs gave out, and she plopped down with a sad bellow of complete surrender, sending mud flying every which way.
At that point, Jordyn figured she ought to do more than just stand there. “Need some help? I can get her tail.”
Will’s head whipped around. “Jordyn? How long have you been standing there?”
“Too long. I’ll take the tail.”
She got exactly three steps closer before he put up a mud-caked glove. “No.” His gaze swept over her good jeans and town boots. “You haven’t even got gloves.”
Right then, the little red heifer, with a loud moo of effort, dragged herself upright again. Will braced with the rope and pulled.
Four steps and the critter cleared the mud.
“Atta girl, there you go.” Will piled on the sweet talk as he stepped in close and eased off the rope. The heifer let out another long, tired cry.
And Jordyn’s heart was just too full. She couldn’t wait another minute. She shielded her eyes to cut the sun’s glare and she announced, “Will Clifton, I saw the divorce papers you left on the table, and I am so sorry I nagged you to get them filled out. It was nothing but cowardly of me, to push you to do that. Because the real truth is that filling out those forms is the last thing I wanted you to do. Will, I love this ranch. I love our life together, I love the goats and the barn cats, that big nasty rooster—and even that muddy heifer you just pulled from the pond. I love my job and Rust Creek Falls and all the friends I’ve made here. But most of all, I love you. So, if maybe it’s possible that you might feel the same way, I really don’t have to go to Missoula. I can take the rest of my classes online just as well. So, I um...”
Was she blowing this?
She feared she might be. Will just crouched there at the edge of the pond, mud all over him, his arm around the heifer’s neck, watching her under the shadow of his hat.
Oh, dear Lord, was he trying to figure out a way to turn her down gently?
She wavered in her purpose. And then she caught herself. No way was she backing down now.
If he didn’t feel what she felt, well, she’d just have to deal with that. She was through hiding her true feelings, through pretending she wanted to go when she only longed to stay. She was taking a stand, following her heart. And she was doing it now.
Jordyn yanked her shoulders up, hitched her chin high and cried, “Please, Will. I love you. Would you just think about not divorcing me, after all?”
* * *
Relief made Will’s knees weak. He staggered against the heifer’s mud-caked side. Hot damn, Jordyn loved him.
She wanted to stay with him.
He eased the rope off the heifer. He let her go, pushed to his height and slapped her on the rump. She bawled at him. So he slapped her again and gave her a shove. That did it. She staggered forward, found her feet and trotted off, still bawling.
Up the bank, Jordyn hadn’t moved. She stood way too still, watching him, he
r plump lower lip caught between her pretty teeth, her hand shading her eyes.
He took off his hat and dropped it, along with the muddy rope and gloves, right there at the edge of the water. “Jordyn,” he said, because his mind and heart were so full of her, he couldn’t manage any more at that moment. Just her name. And that was everything.
“Will?” She let her hand drop, and she stared at him, tears filling those big eyes.
“Baby, don’t you cry.”
“Oh, Will...” And she started crying, anyway.
He lunged up the bank for her. She fell toward him, reaching. He gathered her in. “I’m getting mud all over you.”
She gazed up at him, a smear of mud on her chin and tears on her cheeks. “Will Clifton, I do not care about a little mud.”
At least his hands were reasonably clean. He wiped those tears with his thumb. And then he kissed her. He put everything into that kiss—his heart, his dreams, all his love. And when he lifted his head, he said, “I love you, too, Jordyn Leigh. And what I want is exactly what you want, for you to stay here on the Flying C and be my wife for the rest of our days.”
“Oh, Will. You do? You really, really do?”
“Yeah. I do. I want that more than anything.” And then he bent to kiss her again.
But just before his lips met hers, she let out a cry.
He frowned. “Jordyn, what in the...?”
And she pushed him away from her. “Oh, Will. Tell me the truth, now. Are you sure?”
His arms were empty again, and he didn’t get it. “What the hell, Jordyn. Didn’t I just say so?”
She fisted her hands at her sides and tipped her golden head up to the wide, clear sky. “Oh, Will. I know you. I know what a good man you are. And I can’t help but wonder if you’re just being your usual upright self, just agreeing to stay married to me because it’s what I want and you believe in the sanctity of the vows that we took—whether either of us can actually remember them or not. I’m afraid you just feel honor bound to stay with me because it’s the right thing to do.”
The Maverick's Accidental Bride (Montana Mavericks: What Happened At The Wedding Book 1) (Contemporary Cowboy Romance) Page 19
