“Just water. I have to keep a clear mind around you.”
He shakes his head and smiles. “That is what I should be saying to you as well. I seem to lose my head where you are concerned. Make yourself at home. I’ll get your water and check on dinner.”
I watch him from behind as he makes his way out of the room, thinking of him buried in me and how he feels skin against skin. Thinking of how he smells. Will I ever get over the fact that he is the most gorgeous man on the planet? The knowledge that women around the world want him, dream of him, and here I am with him, in his home no less?
Standing in front of the floor to ceiling windows, I look out at the city below us. The dancing lights of the nightlife in New York are without a doubt something to behold. During the day there’s the hustle and bustle of people going to and from work, the street vendors, the corner entertainers, but at night it’s a whole new world. It seems to come alive: people falling in love on carriage rides, the lights of Broadway, and Central Park with all the beautiful trees swaying in the breeze.
“What are you thinking about in that beautiful head of yours?
I turn around and look at Aiden. “Oh, nothing, just enjoying the view, and what a view it is.” Am I talking about the city or the man in front of me?
“Ms. Miller tells me dinner is ready. Shall we?” he asks with a wave of his hand toward the dining room.
Realizing just how hungry I am, I put my arm through the crook of his elbow as he leads us into the dining room. I am amazed at the size of this place. A cherry table that seats around twenty people is in the center of the room. Chairs, also made of the same cherry wood, are covered in ivory brocade. The chandelier is massive, its crystals making the light bounce off of them.
He pulls out a chair for me and then sits down. Ms. Miller comes in with our meal. She looks to be in her late forties with salt and pepper hair. The food smells really good.
She smiles warmly at me and sets our plates down. “Good evening, Miss Moore.” She looks at Aiden with a loving smile and pats his shoulder.
“Alexis, this is Irene Miller. She has been with me since I arrived here in New York, about eight years now.”
I put my hand out to her. “It’s very nice to meet you, Ms. Miller.”
“Oh, dear, please call me Irene.”
“Only if you call me Alexis.”
“Well, Alexis, be patient with my boy Aiden here. He is a good-hearted man, he just doesn’t know it yet. Maybe you can show him.”
When we are alone, I say, “She really cares for you.” He smiles. “And I can see you care about her as well.”
His eyes light up. There is a kindness in them I have only seen once before: when I was telling him the story of the night I lost my family. I can also see sadness, as if he’s missing something or someone.
I try to lighten the mood. “The food is very good. I love chicken primavera. Aiden, maybe after dinner you can give me a tour of the whole penthouse?”
“It would be my pleasure.”
We eat our meal with Etta James’s “At Last” playing softly in the background.
“So, Alexis, what kind of music do you like to listen to? You know the type I generally play, but you never told me what you prefer to hear.”
“Oh gosh, Aiden, I love all kinds of music, but my favorite band is One Republic.”
“Really? I like their music as well. I have some of their CDs.”
I must look surprised. He lets out a soft laugh. “What, don’t you think I can enjoy their songs?”
“No, it’s just that you always seem to put on something soft, classical or jazz.” I take my napkin off my lap. “I can’t eat another bite. Please tell Ms. Miller everything was so good.”
Aiden holds his hand out to me. “Let’s go have that tour I promised you.”
***
“Aiden, are you going to tell me what the card said?”
“Ti penso ogni giorno, I think of you every day. And tu sei quella che stavo aspettando, you are the one I have been waiting for. Alexis, I know you might not believe me right now, but I need to tell you that truer words have never come out of my mouth.”
I feel a lump in my throat and have to tell myself not to cry.
In a low voice he says, “Alexis, I…” He takes a good swig of his wine and looks me straight in my eyes. “Before I laid eyes on you I thought that I had everything in life that I needed, thought that I was living a good life and really believed that I was happy with everything I had—the money, the cars, this penthouse, lots of clothes, being able to travel anywhere in the world when I wanted to, being able to buy anything and everything I want, being able to have my pick of women whenever I wanted. Then you came into that meeting and in that moment I knew, I fucking knew that I would never want another woman ever again. That I had to have you in my life. But that thought also scared the hell out of me. I thought that if I let you know what I was thinking and feeling, I would be giving you the power to break me, to hurt me, and I don’t know how I would handle that.”
I put my hand on his, willing him to go on. “Why did it scare you?”
“Because, if I couldn’t get you to fall in love with me, if I could not have you in my life, I would never be the same again. I would be missing half of my heart. I don’t claim that my heart is whole. I don’t think that it ever has been.”
“Why??”
“I cannot tell you everything right now, but know this: I need you. You are in my mind all the time when we are not together. When you are unhappy with me I can’t think of anything other than you. Be with me, say that you will try with me. I cannot promise that I won’t fuck up again, but you have to be patient with me and know that I am trying.” He waves his hand between us. “This is all new to me. I have never been with only one woman before, but I am learning. Please teach me. Show me how to truly live my life to the fullest. Please do not leave me. I will beg you if that is what it takes to not lose you. I will do anything not to lose you from my life.”
I can see the sadness in his eyes and my heart breaks for him. A part of me just wants to cradle him and make his fears go away. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I don’t want to show how much my hands and legs are shaking. If I do not stand my ground, then I feel like it will be just like Frank all over again—not the abuse, but being afraid to voice my opinion.
“Aiden, you say that you’re scared. Well, you know what? I am too. You say you don’t want to hurt me, but you have twice already.”
My eyes are watery and the ache in my chest is back. I feel like I have to get the words right and not fumble them. “That last morning in your room you told me it was my own fault that Frank stalked me…” My voice shakes and tears slide down my cheeks. He tries to reach out to me, but I put my hand up. “Please let me finish, Aiden.”
He takes a step back, but offers me his handkerchief. I take it and walk to the window. Maybe if I am looking out into the night instead of his eyes I can say it all. “I never expected for Frank to become obsessed. I never in a million years thought that the man I was dating would kill my parents, kill my brother. For you to say that it was my fault really hurt me deeply. I have to live knowing I will never see my family again, that I will never be able to celebrate another birthday with them again, and it kills me. For you to say…no, for you to yell it at me…that it was my fault that they died…If I could, I would give my life up to bring them back. The night they died, my heart was shattered, broken beyond repair.”
I can’t hold the sobs in anymore. The dam is broken and I fall to my knees, covering my face with my hands. “I need my parents, Aiden. I need my brother. I’m going through life, but I am not really living. I’m only a shell of a person, and the only time I feel anything is when I’m with you. I thought with you I would be able to repair what was broken. I wanted to be able to expect that you would have been the one that brings me back to live. I wanted to be the strength that would bring you out of the dark as well, but how can I if you won’
t let me in?”
He’s at my side in an instant, scooping me up in his arms. He carries me to the great room and sits down with me. He rocks us back and forth. One of his arms is around my back and his other hand rubs my arm. Then he places his hand on my cheek. I look at his face and know for sure that he has heard everything. He is crying with me, not just watery eyes but full-blown tears running down his beautiful face.
“Alexis, I am so embarrassed by my actions. If you never want to see me again, I understand. I’m not saying I would like it or that it would not hurt, but I would understand and wouldn’t blame you. But if you give me a second chance…well, okay a third chance…” We both giggle a bit. “I promise I will make every day with you count. I will show you just how much you mean to me.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and we hug each other like our lives depend on it.
“Yes, Aiden, I want to give it another try. I want and need to be with you just as much as you need me. We’ll make it happen, but it will take work on both our parts. Can you do that?”
Smiling, he simply says, “Yes.”
He brushes his lips against mine, then rubs our noses together, and kisses my forehead.
Chapter 15
We sit there holding each other, neither of us wanting to break the embrace. I have my head in the crook of his neck. I never want to leave this place. This is where I feel safe, this is where I feel at home. At this very moment I realize I’m in love with Aiden. There is no denying it anymore. I can’t tell him yet for fear of pushing him away. It’s too fast and I do not want to scare him. I don’t want to lose him. I know without a doubt I need him.
I’m so lost in my thoughts I don’t hear him say my name. I’m busy breathing his scent in. With his fingers he tilts my chin up and my gaze meets his beautiful, piercing eyes. He looks at me like he’s searching for answers. His eyes are the color of the ocean, and just like the ocean they hide so many secrets.
“Alexis, I know I have hurt you and I am so very sorry for that. I would rather cut off my arm than hurt you. It kills me to know I’m the reason you’re in tears. Please help me to be a better man. I cannot stand the thought of losing you. If you were to ever leave me, I would never want to breathe again. My world would be a darker place.”
I place my hand on his face. “Aiden, I am here and we will get through this together. We will learn together.”
He brushes his lips against mine slowly at first, then opens his mouth and licks my bottom lip, caressing it. I taste him and it makes me need him with every fiber of my body. I can never get enough of him. I moan and part my lips. His tongue sweeps in and out. Together, we are breathing hard. He lets out a growl from deep within his chest. I have become familiar with this sound, just as I am becoming familiar with his touch, his scent, and his body.
The grip of his hands tightens around my shoulders. He pulls me closer to him. My arms are around his waist, and I run my hands up and down his back. I feel his erection against my hip. Our tongues are doing a dance, one I am becoming very familiar with as well. The heat of his tongue stirs excitement in me. No matter how much I try, I can’t seem to get close enough to him. He is biting and licking my lips. I want him, I need him, and I know he needs me just as much.
His hands move, gliding over my body with one at the nape of my neck and the other at the bottom of my back. He starts moving his mouth down the front of my neck, then to the side of it and to my shoulder. I throw my head sideways to give him better access, but also because I seem to lack any control over my body when it comes to Aiden. I lose myself in him, to him. He makes my body come to life. I am completely his. I trust him. I know he will take me to new limits, ones I’ve never experienced before.
He pulls away and I miss his mouth on me already. He cups my face with his hands. “I need to be inside of you. Only you can put out this fire in me.”
I’m already on fire from his words, his mouth, his hands, and the look in his eyes. I feel like I am about to combust just from the look he’s giving me.
“I need you too. I need you to show me how much you need me.”
The tone of his voice is soft, yet strong. His body is tense, and seems to be trembling as much as mine is.
“Oh, my beautiful Alexis, I am going to fuck you till you scream, till you are swollen and sore. I am going to fuck you till you can’t take it anymore, till you beg me to stop because you cannot come anymore. I want you to know your body belongs to me and no one else. I want you to be ruined for anyone else. I want you to always think of only me.”
The way he takes control of my mind and body arouses me that much more.
“Aiden, believe me when I say you are the only one I think of. I couldn’t get you out of my head, even if I wanted to. You are in my thoughts night and day. You are always with me.”
With me still in his lap, he stands and carries me into his bedroom. He puts me down by the bed and again starts to kiss and lick at my lips. I start to unbutton his shirt, then slide it down his arms. His arms are like iron, yet his touch is so soft and warm. I feel so much love for this man even though I cannot say it out loud. My heart is bursting with the love it has for him.
I start to unbutton his jeans, but he catches my hands with his. He bends at the knees so he can see me at eye level. The dimple in his cheek deepens as he smiles. He kicks off his shoes, then his socks, and looks at me.
“It’s my turn, Alexis.” He turns me around and pulls down my zipper at the back of my dress. He bites my earlobe and gently tugs on it. “Leave your shoes on.” He slides the dress down and it pools at my feet. I step out of it. Then he unclips my bra and slides it off as well, letting it fall to the floor. With his left hand he holds my neck to lift my head and with his right he cups and squeezes my breast. He uses his thumb and forefinger to pull on my nipple, making it even harder than before, and rolls it between his fingers while grinding his erection into me.
I throw my head back and lay it on his chest. “Oh god, Aiden, you are going to make me come. Please fuck me. I need you inside me.”
He moans into my ear, then slides one hand down my front, underneath my panties. “Oh, my beautiful Alexis, you are so wet for me already.”
Placing two fingers inside me, he starts little circular patterns. My body is screaming. “Oh yes, god yes! Please, fuck me. I need you now.”
“Not yet, baby. I need you good and wet.” He finger fucks me, making every cell in my body come alive from pleasure. Suddenly he pulls his fingers out and turns me around. “Lie on the end of the bed and put your legs over my shoulders.”
I do as I am told without even thinking about it or saying a word. He looks at me with those hungry, hooded eyes. “Put your hands to your sides, and hold onto the sheets.”
He starts to lick the top of my right foot and slides that one shoe off, letting it drop to the floor so he can start to suck on my big toe. Even though I have never experienced this before, or even thought about it, in a crazy way it’s really exciting to me. I also can’t help but giggle. I grip the sheets tighter as he starts working his way up to my ankle, placing open-mouthed kisses along the way, licking as he goes up to my knee and inner thigh. I’m moaning and breathing hard, licking and biting my own lip. I claw at the sheets, arching my back and lifting my head off the bed, and suddenly he stops.
“No, please don’t stop.”
He lets out a low growl. “Oh, I’m far from done, baby.” Then he goes to my other foot and does the same thing, driving me insane with need, desire, and want. He works his way up my leg. The feel of his tongue on me is so hot, my head is thrashing side to side. The whole time he is working me over with his tongue, his hands are slowly rubbing up and down my legs.
“I’m going to come and you haven’t even fucked me yet.”
“Not yet, Alexis. Do not come until I say, or I’ll have to start over again.”
“I don’t know if I can wait until you are in me.”
“Baby, you do not have to wait till then, just u
ntil I say so. I am going to make you come a few times before the night is over. Tu sei l’unico per me. Sei tutto per me.”
He licks up my inner thigh and goes to my clit. I feel his hot breath. His tongue is magical. He licks and blows all at the same time, his tongue darting in and out and around in circles. His hands open my folds slowly. He sucks my pussy, then puts two fingers in me, making small circles with them, his palm pressing against my cleft.
Already knowing my body so well, he says in a low, heated voice, “Come…for…me…now!”
With that, the dam breaks. My toes curl and beads of sweat slide down my temples. My body shakes from panting and breathing so hard. He keeps up the pace, sucking, licking, and blowing hot kisses.
“You taste so good, baby. Your body is a temple I will always enjoy worshipping. Tell me what you want.”
“I want you to fuck me hard now. Please, Aiden, please.”
He crawls over my body. Placing his hands under my back, he lifts us farther up the bed so we lie in the middle of it. His eyes are hooded, but even now I can see everything he is feeling.
He brings his lips to mine. “Taste yourself on me, Alexis?”
I suck on his lower lip, then suck on his tongue. It’s a mixture of him and me. He lowers himself into me, his cock at the entrance of my sex, and then slowly—oh god, so slowly—he puts the crown of his cock into me and stills. I wrap my legs around his waist and try to bring him in deeper, but his body is no easier to move than a stone wall. With his arms on either side of my body, he lifts himself up to look into my eyes. A small but beautiful grin tells me he is in control. He goes in deeper and deeper, pausing to let me adjust. I cry out in pleasure, my body needing him so much it pulsates.
“Tell me how this feels, baby. Tell me what you want me to do to you. Let me hear you, Alexis. Sei bellissima, Alexis.”
“Aiden, you feel so good.” I dig my nails into his back. “I want you to make me come over and over again. I need your cock in me, always in me. Make me forget the outside world. Make me scream your name. Make me yours.”
Out Of The Dark Page 12
