Megan placed the chart in the file drawer after she finished with the last patient for the day. She stretched her arms over her head and yawned. “This has been a long day. I’m ready to go home and relax in a warm bath.”
Gabrielle looked over at her and said, “Megan, when are you going to stop the madness? It’s been four months since you kicked Ryan out of the house, and you’ve only been married four years. You don’t want a divorce, and this is not how you hold onto a marriage.”
“I know I don’t want a divorce, but Ryan has left me no choice. Hell, I’ll admit I’m miserable without him.”
“He is miserable without you. Let him come home, Megan. You know you want your husband back. If you go through with this divorce, some other woman will take him away from you for good.”
Megan moved the chair away from the desk and stood up. “He realizes what he is losing and isn’t willing to work with me to save our marriage. So, I have to assume he doesn’t care or want it anymore.”
“Put yourself in his shoes, Megan. He started a whole new career and began to love life again. Threatening him with a divorce is not how you get your way.”
“Gabby, I know you think I’m petty and childish. Hell, I feel it in me when we fight. The conversation will start out on a decent note then turn into an argument because I can’t keep his job out of it no matter how hard I try.”
“If you want the arguments to stop, then stop making him defend his decision about joining the fire department. I don’t know if you are aware of this or not, but firefighters hold in a lot of emotions. It takes a lot to break them down, but once they do, it comes out at once. Ryan was not born with the firefighter mentality like the others at Station 30, but he will adopt it eventually. He saves lives now, Megan. He isn’t sitting behind a desk grading papers anymore. This is real what you’re doing to him, and it will affect his work.”
“Gabby, I’ve been trying for years to deal with this. The sleepless nights, jumping every time my phone rings when he’s at work; I can’t do it anymore. I’m losing my sanity. His decision has had an adverse effect on me, and he doesn’t care.”
Gabrielle hung her lab coat on the hook behind the door and turned to her. “No, I disagree. You’re messing with his head hoping to make him see things your way. We work in a hospital and see death. Unfortunately, we don’t see death the way firefighters see it. Imagine having to run into a burning structure to look for victims dead or alive. Having to reassure those victims, who are barely holding onto life by a thread, that everything is going to be alright. Megan, he is comforting the nerves of these victims and doesn’t know if he’ll survive.”
Megan crossed her arms over her chest. “Who will be there for me if he dies, Gabby? I’m sure I’m the last person he is thinking about when the adrenaline is flowing through his veins as he rushes to battle a fire or save a life.”
Gabrielle shook her head. “You’re looking for an excuse to justify ending your marriage. I’m not going to agree with you on this. I thank God every time I hear Jon’s car in the driveway or when I don’t get a call while I’m here at the hospital telling me he’s been hurt. You need to support your husband and let him know you have his back. Let him know that you’ll be there for him just like you were there for him when he was on trial.”
The sting of Gabrielle’s words smacked her in the face. She and Gabrielle weren’t best friends, but they were friends. They socialized together since both were married to firefighters that happened to be related. They also attended the same functions for the firehouse and functions through their work at the hospital. Megan was also grateful to Gabrielle for letting her work in the Respiratory Department while waiting for a permanent nursing position. She had been working as a floater, covering for other nurses when needed. At best, she would get three days a week and a weekend or two. However, the hospital was at full staff, and she barely got the one or two days a week before Gabrielle offered her work in her department. The respiratory lab didn’t require a nurse, but she was thankful to have the learning experience.
“I do thank God for that too, Gabrielle. He was a teacher when I met him. He had been doing it for years and seemed to love it. Then he quit because he didn’t want to return to a job that doubted his character. I tried to support him when he was accepted at the fire academy even though I was the last to know he had applied. And I know it was bad to pray he would fail the tests. When he aced every test, I faked happiness. As the years passed, he became absorbed with the firehouse and started to lose interest in me. What was I supposed to do, continue to fake that everything was great when I was actually freaking miserable?”
“That isn’t my call, Megan. My advice is to stop with the threats of divorce unless you’re serious about getting one. You’ve only been married four years. You’re aware that the type of marriage you have requires doubling the effort from both of you to make it work as it is. Now that he has a dangerous job, it adds more pressure. So yes, I feel your pain.”
Megan rolled her eyes. “I’m bi-racial, Gabby. My mother is white, and my dad is black. I’ve heard all the nasty comments and gotten the dirty looks from people when we went out together as a family. I’ve lived through the kinky hair jokes and the remarks about how my skin is too dark to be half-white. I’ve learned over the years to shut any negativity regarding my race out. Ryan’s damn job, however, is testing my strength. I’m losing the battle.”
“Megan, you’re adding the extra pressure by hating his job. Why is it so hard for you to mellow out and relax? This is just the beginning; there is going to be so much more thrown in your path that you have to dodge. This is a test of strength. If you put your mind to it, you’ll learn to deal with it.”
Megan huffed and pouted. “I hate his job, period. My primary concern is Ryan’s safety. Second, I want him to realize I exist and to stop putting me to the side.”
“He will be fine. They know how to protect themselves and each other. And, if you feel he is putting you second, it’s because you’re the one keeping him at bay. You can’t hold all the power, sugar. Talk to Ryan and find a way to have a decent and productive conversation that will save your marriage.”
“He had the opportunity to talk to me last week. We were supposed to have lunch together and discuss the divorce, but he canceled to do a training exercise with another firefighter.” Megan frowned. “That showed me how much he wants our marriage to work.”
Gabrielle didn’t respond to Megan as Pam walked through the doors of the respiratory department. She took her jacket off the hook and slipped it on. “Pam is here. We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Promise you’ll think about what I said.”
“I’ll think about what you said, but I won’t make any promises.” Megan greeted Pam with a smile and a wave. “Hi, Pam.”
“Hi, Megan,” Pam replied smiling. “Are you joining us for drinks tonight at Illuminations?” Megan shook her head tossing about her long, bronze curls with blonde highlights. Being born bi-racial didn’t automatically mean her hair would be silky and long like her mother’s or her brother Connor's, who was five years older. Her hair was on the kinky side, and she relaxed it in order to manage it better. Recently, her stylist convinced her to go natural and omit the chemicals. So far, she loved the look of her natural curls and ability to manage her hair without the harsh relaxers.
Megan Jones Tisdale, 25 years of age, stood 5’5” tall barefooted. Once she hit puberty, she loved she was not a petite woman but curvy with full hips and breasts and shapely legs; she was proud of her figure. She was a die-hard foodie and loved eating. However, lately with the stress of the separation, she had lost an unhealthy amount of weight. People were asking if she was sick.
“No, I won’t be joining girls’ night out tonight, Pam. I’m not in the mood, and I don’t want my bummer attitude to put a damper on everyone else’s fun.”
Pam put her arm gently around Megan’s shoulder and drew her close. “Sweetie, we are a family in this department. When one of us hurt,
we all feel it. I can’t speak for Gabby, but I’m not about to let you sit at home tonight and cry in front of the television.”
Megan joked, “Are you suggesting I cry in front of you instead?”
“I rent my shoulder out by the hour, sweetheart. Seriously, we want to help you through this trying time, Megan. Look at you. You’re beautiful, young, vivacious, caring, smart, educated…. Should I go on or do you get the picture?”
Megan removed her purse from the drawer and slipped the strap over her shoulder. “It’s nice to hear those compliments, but I get what you’re saying. You and Gabby think I’m a spoiled brat.”
Pam shook her head. “No, no, no…yeah, that is exactly what I think. Honey, you married a man older than you and you feel the fire is dying since he has other things occupying his mind. All marriages go through that phase, Megan. And the cause can happen due to a career change, illnesses, or just a couple growing apart. I’m not married to a firefighter, but I have been around enough of them to know they are just like us. They are complicated, moody, and silent at times, but they need love too. Girl, show your man some love and the fire will reignite before you know it.”
After turning off the light in the office, the three women walked through the waiting room of the department. Megan sighed. “It’s not because he is older than I am. I married a teacher. Ryan is not the same person I married since he became a firefighter.”
Pam paused in the doorway. “See, this is a discussion we should be having with drinks sitting in front of us. I know I could use a good strong drink after a long hard week. How about you, Gabby? Don’t you feel the same?”
Gabrielle shrugged her shoulders. “It has been a strange week. Plus, with Jon working tonight, and the kids with my mother in Africa for the summer, I’m looking forward to a little me time tonight.”
Pam threw up her hands. “It’s official! We’re going out, and you’re coming along. We’ll drink and do some trash talking and maybe enjoy the eye candy that might happen to be in the bar.”
“Pam, you’re crazy. I’m not trying to pick up any men; I’m still a married woman,” Megan huffed.
“You’re not breaking any rules. We’re going to do what men do and look at the beautiful packaging, but not open the gift.”
Megan rolled her eyes before giving into Pam’s insistent nagging. “Fine, I’ll go. Dressed in scrubs, I won’t get approached by a man anyhow.”
Pam checked her watch. “We have enough time to go home, change, and not pay a cover charge at Illuminations.”
Chapter Three
Megan admired her image in the mirror. The lavender sundress with small yellow flowers was the perfect outfit for a warm summer night. The thin spaghetti strapped dress allowed her to show off her smooth skin, sleek arms and the fit complimented her figure. The length was just right as the hem fell an inch above her knees not letting any of her thighs show. Although, she had separated from Ryan, she would not disrespect their marriage by pretending to be single and flaunt herself in front of other men. She was not on the prowl and did not want to attract the attention of another man. She loved Ryan and wished there was a way to save her marriage.
Sitting on the bed, she put on her sandals. Her eye caught the picture sitting on the dresser. With a heavy heart, Megan walked over to the dresser and picked it up. Her jaw clenched as she choked back her emotions. If she started crying now, there would be no going out tonight. Her finger traced over the wedding photo. Ryan was a handsome man, and no one would guess he was nearly ten years older than she was. His masculine features attracted her to him in the beginning.
Megan had seen Ryan walking his dog in the park on more than one occasion. She just never had the guts to bring herself to approach him until she tried to capture the runaway dog that knocked her down and playfully licked her face until the owner pulled him off her.
Ryan apologized profusely and offered to have her blouse cleaned. When Megan refused, he insisted she let him buy her dinner. Megan agreed and from there they became friends before becoming lovers. The high school history teacher that also coached girls’ softball for the local community center was everything she imagined he’d be; strong, smart, sexy, and a skilled but demanding lover.
Their whirlwind romance was cut short when a female student accused Ryan of being inappropriate with her during a detention class he was monitoring. There weren’t any other students or teachers in the classroom when this supposedly happened, so it was his word against hers.
If it weren't for a popular defense attorney taking over Ryan’s case from a public defender, he would be in jail today. Ryan had spent five days in jail before his attorney found enough evidence to force the judge to order his release. As they prepared for trial, the Ohio Department of Education stripped Ryan of his teaching license, and the school board fired him. As the newlywed couple endured questioning from the FBI and watched as prosecutors stated on the news Ryan’s guilt and regarded him a sex offender and pedophile, he slipped further into depression. The rumors ran amok and turned to personal attacks. Their house had been tagged with hateful graffiti and Ryan’s beloved dog Sparky, mysteriously disappeared from the backyard. To this day, the dog has not been found.
As the trial commenced, Attorney Mitchell got the young girl to confess during an intense cross-examination. He didn’t take into consideration her age or her tears as he hammered away at her story to get to the truth. If she had not confessed, the facts proved the 17-year-old teenager lied about Ryan pinning her against a desk in an attempt to have sex with her. What had actually happened was Ryan threatened to expose her for soliciting him. As the attorney dug into the history of the girl, he found it was not the first time she had attempted to discredit a male teacher for refusing her advances. Ryan was immediately acquitted and reinstated with full restitution.
Ryan’s embrace followed by the sweet I love you he whispered in Megan’s ear when the judge dismissed the case led her to believe their lives would return to normal.
Megan felt warm tears run down her face. She quickly wiped them away remembering that Ryan could be stubborn and steadfast in his ways. She learned that after his trial ended. Maybe it was right for him to resign as a way to keep his dignity. The friction in their marriage was 90% her fault but with good reason. Megan was nearing graduation from college and not working. She began to feel their strong emotional attachment crumble as they struggled to keep what little they had. Her father would slip her money to put food on the table and pay the mortgage. But her mother did the opposite and did nothing but complain. Iona didn’t trust Ryan. She felt he’d gotten his use from his young trophy wife and didn’t need her to stand by his side now that the soul-ripping trial was over.
The doorbell rang drawing her back to the present. Dread fell on her shoulders as she took a deep breath before leaving the bedroom. If Pam were at the door after she said she would meet them at the club, she would give her a piece of her mind. Pam was determined to make her leave the house tonight if she had to drag her kicking and screaming by the hair.
Megan went to open the front door. Their house was a ranch style home with the master bedroom off the kitchen and another bedroom adjacent to the laundry room that she planned to turn into a nursery when that day arrived. However, now it was just a spare bedroom since the baby deal was off the table indefinitely.
The medium-sized living room was a mixture of their taste. While Megan's taste in style was more contemporary, Ryan's taste leaned towards modern. Therefore, modern art decorated the walls and contemporary furniture made out the rest of the room. Ryan had converted part of the two-car garage into a gym and parked his late-model Dodge Charger outside letting her have the extra parking space for her car.
Megan paused and ran her hands down the front of her dress. She opened the door to find Ryan standing there. She swallowed and asked. “Ryan. What are you doing here?”
“Why did you change the lock, Megan?” Ryan asked dropping his duffel bag between his feet.
&
nbsp; Baffled he had caught her off guard, Megan had to constrain her heart from exploding inside her chest. If he had that effect on her after years of marriage, she could only imagine how other women, who didn’t know him, saw him.
“I didn’t change the lock on purpose. I jammed the wrong key inside the lock and broke it off. I had to replace it.”
“You should have called me; I could have fixed it.” His eyes roam over her and then cut away. “Are you going out?”
Megan shuddered from his eyes tracing the length of her body. The look on his face told her what he was thinking, but he was wrong. “Yes.”
His brow lifted. “You have a date?”
“No, I don’t have a date. I’m going out with Gabrielle and Pam. Anyhow, why am I explaining to you what I’m doing? What are you doing here?” Her tone of voice became defensive.
“I do pay the mortgage here. Besides, I’ve imposed on Jon long enough. I’ll stay in the spare bedroom unless you want to leave this time?”
She rolled her neck biting back, “I’m not going anywhere. We’ll just have to make the best of it.” She started to walk away and turned around. “And another thing, I help pay the mortgage and bills around here too. I’m not a freeloader that doesn’t contribute to the household.”
Ryan dropped his head. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Megan.”
“Yes, you did. The coldness in your eyes speaks a lot louder than your mouth.”
He put his hands on his hips. “Why can’t we have a discussion without it turning into an argument?”
“I’ve tried that and you shut down. The only way you listen to me is if we are arguing.”
“I can’t deal with this, Megan! I’m not the type of guy that lives my life this way. I didn’t get married to butt heads with my wife because she thinks I’m an idiot for making a change in my life after a near disaster. You should find another man that likes to do this shit. And looking at the way you’re dressed, I’m sure you won’t have a problem finding one to replace me.”
Rekindle The Flames (The Men of CLE-FD Book 4) Page 2
