Love Inspired Historical November 2015

by Linda Ford

  He lowered himself beside her and clasped his hands. “Can I get you anything?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Jo made bacon this morning.”

  While she suspected she’d have a raging hunger later, her stomach wasn’t quite ready for food just yet. “Maybe in a while.”

  Feeling sadly fragile, she tipped sideways and rested the side of her head against his shoulder. “How are Alyce and Owen?”

  He wrapped one arm around her shoulders, his touch featherlight. “They’re no worse for wear. They’re missing you, of course.”

  A twinge pinched her side but she ignored the pain. She was afraid if she showed any sign of discomfort, he’d move away.

  She liked having him near, liked feeling his solid muscles against her cheek. “Can I see them?”

  “Finch has taken them for a ride in the wagon. I’ll bring them by as soon as he returns.”

  She swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, both exhausted and relieved. “I’d like that.”

  “When you’re ready to eat, let me know. Can I get you anything else? Water?”

  “Water sounds lovely.” She touched her throat. “I’m parched.”

  He was warm and solid and he moved away far too quickly. While she’d have preferred avoiding a fall down a flight of stairs, she enjoyed the intimacy. She liked seeing this softer side of him. While he was always affectionate with the children, he’d never been the same with her.

  He refilled her glass and she drank greedily, feeling as though she’d never be sated.

  Sitting beside her once more, he ran his index finger lightly over the bruise behind her ear. His knuckles brushed the nape of her neck, stirring her senses.

  “Does it still hurt?”

  Behind his raw expression she sensed a tense vulnerability, and she was overwhelmed with the need to absolve him of any guilt. “Not anymore.”

  She smiled up at him and absently rubbed her cheek against his hand. They stared at each other for a long moment. Then he leaned away, appearing at a loss.

  Her hopes faltered a bit at his withdrawal. “I’m glad you found me. I never doubted.”

  “You took years off my life.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I can’t keep track of anything these days. Not the children. Not you.”

  “Everyone should have someone who minds when they’re lost.”

  “I minded very much. Not to mention I never got my potatoes in the German style,” he said, his tone light, his boyish half grin fully in place. “Promise me you’ll never disappear again.”

  “I will do my very best.”

  Shameless gratitude rushed through her. She believed he was genuinely concerned for her well-being, though she suspected his interest was due to his honorable character rather than any real attachment to her personally. As she’d recently discovered, a casual sort of concern was better than nothing at all.

  He rubbed his eyes with a thumb and forefinger. “I’ll fetch the children. They’ll be anxious to see for themselves that you’re well.”

  Their easy camaraderie had fled just as suddenly as it had arrived. Once again they were two strangers dancing awkwardly around each other.

  Her head began to throb once more. “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”

  With the children as a buffer between them, there’d be no more awkwardness.

  He glanced through the open door, then returned to her side, his hand hovering near her shoulder.

  At long last he touched her forehead, soothing the rough pad of his calloused thumb over the scratch at her temple. “I’m glad you’re back with us. The house isn’t the same without you.”

  As though embarrassed by his admission, he was gone in a flash. The man had her tied up in knots. A voracious curiosity about his past overtook her. How long would he mourn his first wife? She’d asked a few questions about Abby in the beginning, but his answers had been terse. She’d stopped asking after that.

  She considered asking Jo and Anna, then balked. The questions were too revealing of her own insecurity, too personal.

  Jo returned with lunch, interrupting Tessa’s troubled thoughts, then excused herself when Anna called for assistance with the temperamental cooktop. They promised a batch of bread once they’d mastered the stove, and Tessa was grateful for their thoughtfulness.

  She stared at the door for a while before boredom set in. She plucked the worn Bible from her side table and flipped to a random page. The children had discovered the book earlier, and she’d tucked it away for safekeeping. It looked to be old and well-read at one time, though a fine layer of dust now coated the stiff cover.

  The insatiable curiosity had taken root. She wanted every scrap of paper, every clue that might give her insight into what drove Shane. She didn’t care if it was snooping. Tiny bits of the puzzle didn’t fit. He was open and honest about most things, but shuttered and silent about his late wife. Even a simple comment about the twins’ blond coloring had silenced him. Family Bibles often held lists of family members and life events, and she desperately wanted information.

  She thumbed through the pages and discovered several daguerreotypes tucked in the back. Lifting the photos revealed a list of important dates in the McCoy family. There were marriages and christenings recorded, along with births and deaths. She traced a path to the last two entries and discovered the date of Shane’s marriage to Abby. She recognized his bold script. Below, in the same handwriting, was the date of the children’s birth, five months later.

  Five months.

  Was there a picture of Abby in the stack? Something, anything more? Tessa thumbed through the photos and discovered a young woman with light hair and lively eyes. The woman was looking at someone on her right, though the picture had been cut, leaving only the gentleman’s hand visible on the arm of the lady’s chair. Squinting, Tessa peered closer. The man in the photo was missing part of his index finger. She read the name scrawled across the back: Abigail.

  Tessa pictured the children with their blond hair and blue eyes, and the truth knocked the breath from her lungs.

  What had Abby’s sister said that day? Abby always did have a way of leaving her problems on someone else’s doorstep.

  Owen and Alyce were not Shane’s children.

  While their coloring might not be irrefutable proof, she knew Shane. She knew what kind of man he was. If a friend had come to him in trouble, he’d do the honorable thing. That was why he’d married Tessa, after all, a stranger. He’d married a stranger because he was honorable and he thought he’d put her in danger.

  Searching her memory, she scrambled for the scraps of information she’d learned about Abby. They were both from town, which meant she and Shane would have known each other as children. Had the father of the babies died? If Abby had been widowed, why hadn’t Shane admitted the truth?

  Unless he was keeping Abby’s secret. Which meant there must be a good reason Abby hadn’t wanted anybody to know the real father’s identity.

  Tessa slammed shut the book and stared at the half-open door. She was keeping this bit of information to herself. Shane was caring for the children and he loved them dearly. As long as he wasn’t concerned about their real father, then it was none of her business either.

  The depth of his devotion sent her heart aching. How many men would give their hearts that freely? How many would shoulder the burden with such steadfast affection?

  Even as she savored the memory of his brief touch, another thought shattered her brief bubble of hope.

  Shane had written the date of his mother’s death, the date of his marriage to Abby and the date of Alyce and Owen’s birth.

  Her eyes burned.

  He hadn’t bothered with their wedding date.

  *

  Shane braced his elbows on the porch railing and clasped his hands before him. Anna joined him soon after. She didn’t say anything right off. She let him gather his thoughts, and he appreciated her consideration. He liked her, though he didn’t know her
as well as Jo and Garrett.

  Anna had a forthright manner and sharp, crystal-blue eyes. She was a tireless suffragette, and her efforts to gain the vote for women had achieved national attention. She’d even been shot during a rally, arriving in Cimarron Springs to recuperate and eventually marry his cousin.

  She was one tough lady—he’d give her that.

  Shane pressed his forehead against his knuckles. “Take Tessa back into town. I know you have people, connections. She doesn’t belong here. Once she’s well enough for travel, I’ll send word.”

  “No.”

  The single word reverberated like cannon fire.

  Shane straightened and gaped at her. “What do you mean? I thought you’d be happy.”

  “She doesn’t want to leave.” Anna turned and tucked her hands behind her, holding the railing as she leaned back. “She wants to stay here.”

  “She can’t. Not after what happened. You must see that.”

  “Her fall was an accident. Accidents can happen in town as well, you know.”

  “We argued. I was jealous.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and avoided her curious stare. While he might want to hide the truth, she was sharp enough to guess his true feelings. “Tessa was spending too much time with the men.”

  Anna raised her eyebrows. “You thought she was stepping out with one of them? Tessa doesn’t seem the type.”

  “Absolutely not. I was…” He was out of his depth. He was terrified of becoming attached to someone who might leave him. “I was jealous of how easily they all got along together. I felt like the outsider.”

  Anna’s expression reflected sympathy. “If I married someone I hardly knew, I’d probably get to know the people around him first. That sounds far safer.”

  “That doesn’t make sense.”

  How was speaking with Finch or Wheeler safer than speaking with him? They spent every evening together. They talked. She always inquired about his day. She was solicitous and curious.

  He shook his head. “I don’t follow.”

  “For a man who’s been married, you don’t know a lot about women, do you?”

  What sort of answers had he given her? Safe answers. Guarded answers.

  Shane snorted. “You don’t know the half of it. I have a singular talent for landing in impossible situations.”

  “A trait of all the McCoy men, as far as I can tell.” She offered an indulgent grin. “I’m curious. What drew you to Tessa in the first place? You hardly knew each other and yet you married. There must have been something.”

  “She dealt well with the children. They adore her and she them.”

  What a liar he was. In truth, he’d noticed her beauty first. He was a man, after all, a man with excellent vision. As maudlin as it sounded, she’d taken his breath away. Even after he’d realized Owen was safe, he’d drawn out the encounter, reluctant to let her go. She was smart and funny and kind. More than anything else, he’d been drawn in by her compassion.

  “She likes your children. Very practical,” Anna said. “And yet it sounds as though you regret your decision.”

  “Of course I don’t. Except she’s miserable out here. I can’t make her stay. Especially after what’s happened.”

  “Despite your overzealous feelings of guilt, her accident was not your fault. I gave Tessa every opportunity to confide in me. I offered her my protection. I offered her a way out of the marriage. She declined.” Anna cocked her head. “Rather firmly, I might add.”

  A band of emotion tightened around his chest. “She did?”

  “And yet you’d like me to take her away. Rather odd, don’t you think?”

  “It’s not that.” He hesitated. The answer was too personal. Too revealing. “I should have given her more time to change her mind.”

  “From what Jo said, Tessa didn’t want that time.”

  “I should have been stronger, for both of us.”

  “Hmm.” Anna pushed off from the porch railing. “I know this is personal, and you don’t have to answer, but have you ever actually courted a girl?”

  There was no use denying the obvious. “You and I both know the answer to that question.”

  She drummed her fingers on the porch rail and studied his face. “I have an intriguing idea for you. Christmas is a few weeks away. Edith has offered to come by each day and help out with the children. Just until Tessa is fully recovered. You’d be wise to take advantage of her assistance and get to know your wife a little better.”

  Why were women always presenting half of a suggestion and assuming a fellow knew the rest? “I don’t follow.”

  “Spend some time alone with Tessa. Without the children between you. Just the two of you. I have my own little one, you know. I realize how distracting they can be.”

  Fear pounded like hoof strikes down his back. “I already know her.”

  “Really? If that were true, then I doubt you’d have been so surprised that Tessa positively panicked when she thought I might insist she leave.” Anna crossed her arms. “You’ll both benefit from the time together. There’s nothing wrong with courting your wife.”

  His stomach dipped. He’d bore her to death in an instant. All he knew of life was hard work, horses and cattle. He’d traveled plenty, but always for work. He rarely even left the hotel when he visited another city, preferring his solitude.

  Nothing in his life had prepared him for courting a woman. He’d humiliate himself if he admitted his ignorance.

  Then again, Tessa was worth a little humiliation. “How do you court someone? I don’t know the first thing.”

  Anna didn’t laugh or scorn him, and for that he was grateful.

  “That is an excellent question, Shane,” she said. “Since I’m usually counseling the woman in these matters, I have excellent insight into these sorts of things. It’s all very simple. Take Tessa for a walk. Show her around the town. Learn about her likes and dislikes. For example, do you know her favorite color?”

  “Why does her favorite color matter?”

  “It matters because it’s a part of getting to know her. If her favorite color is blue, then buy her a nice blue ribbon the next time you’re in town. Get to know each other. I have a feeling you two have more in common than you realize. Women aren’t nearly as complicated as men often believe. Everyone wants to know that someone treasures them.”

  “But what if I buy her the wrong ribbon? What if she doesn’t like that particular shade of blue?”

  “Don’t be difficult. This isn’t about ribbons. It’s about showing someone that you think of them when you’re apart. It’s why she mends your socks and cooks your favorite dinner when you’ve had a bad day. Love is shown in all sorts of ways other than words and gifts.”

  Love. The word gave him a jolt. “I can’t do those things.”

  “Of course you can. If by Christmas you decide you don’t suit, I’ll talk with the reverend about an annulment.”

  He didn’t even like thinking about that possibility. Even though letting her go had been his idea, the realization left him hollow. “There’ll be a scandal.”

  “You let me worry about that. I have a few tricks up my sleeve as well, Shane McCoy. Don’t underestimate me.”

  “I wouldn’t dare.”

  The idea terrified him. He’d rather face a pack of hungry wolves than play at being the charming suitor. That was why he’d insisted on a marriage of practicality. Unbidden, he recalled Tessa’s ashen face and her cries the evening of the accident. She’d been terrified of being left alone.

  Somehow he’d imagined her life much like his, nothing very dramatic. Her desperate ramblings during her illness had hinted at a troubling past. “What if she decides to leave anyway?”

  The more time he spent with Tessa, the more he recognized that he could easily fall in love with her. That he was already falling in love with her. What if she never returned his feelings?

  Anna shrugged. “If she leaves you, then you’re no worse off than you are now.” She p
aused. “Courted by Christmas. That’s my idea. Take it or leave it.”

  Her kind expression belied the harsh edge of her words. She was trying to help. They all were. He simply didn’t know if he was the sort of person who could be helped. “I can see why we voted you mayor.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Courted by Christmas,” he repeated.

  Either this was the best idea or the very worst. Only time would tell. At least he finally had an idea where to start.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Keep your eyes shut,” Shane ordered gently.

  A week following her accident, Tessa waited expectantly for Shane’s next instruction. The weather had been unseasonably mild and his aunt, Edith McCoy, had been coming by each afternoon, affording Tessa a chance to rest and recuperate.

  Her bumps and bruises were healing quickly, and she felt only a slight twinge in her ankle. Her wrist still gave her a jolt now and again, but even that was improving. Doc Johnsen was set to visit that afternoon, and she was certain he’d give her a clean bill of health.

  Tessa took a cautious step toward the door, her injured arm crossed over her stomach and held immobile in a sling. “They’re closed.”

  “Wait there,” Shane ordered.

  “I’m waiting.”

  Hinges squeaked and a cold breeze ruffled her hair. Something brushed her hand and she leaped, then laughed.

  “You scared me,” she admonished.

  “Sorry.” He touched her elbow and his breath whispered against her ear. “I’ll lead you a few more steps, but you must keep your eyes closed.”

  “I will.”

  “Promise.”

  “Yes.” She sent a playful swat in his direction. “Show me your surprise before I freeze.”

  He placed her hand in the bend of his elbow and covered her fingers. “Just a few more steps.”

  Keeping her eyes tightly closed, she trustingly followed his lead. A soft snort sounded and she automatically turned toward the noise.

  “Almost there,” Shane said.

  Hoofbeats sounded and something else as well. The rustle of fabric, the squeak of leather. Anxious now, she fidgeted beneath his hold. “Can I look yet?”