by Linda Ford
“For me?” Going over to the table, he studied it. Dipped a fingertip in the icing. “But it’s not my birthday.”
“Miss Jane said it’s a ‘just because’ cake.”
Jane smiled at his bafflement and, as he sucked on his finger, the comprehension lighting his eyes. Twisting around, he said eagerly, “It’s the ribbon fruitcake, isn’t it?”
“Your favorite.”
Coming around to where she stood, he encircled her waist and twirled her around. She yelped. Clara giggled. “Tom, your dizziness will come back.”
Chuckling, he set her on her feet and lightly tapped her nose. “You’re the best, Janie girl.”
She absolutely would not let him see how much those simple words affected her.
“Can I have my dessert first?” he said, cocking his head in boyish petition.
“Yes!” Clara ran over, blinking up at Jane. “Say yes!”
“That’s not up to me,” she said, laughing.
“It’s settled, then,” he declared. “We will all have cake before soup.”
Carrying plates over to the table, Tom waited for Jane to bring a knife. Clara gathered the forks. They sat together eating the moist, fruity cake. His enjoyment made joy bubble up inside. If he’d let her, she’d bake for him every day for the rest of her life.
Don’t spoil the moment with hopeless wishes, she scolded herself.
After lunch, Tom went out to the barn while Jane got Clara down for a nap. He’d promised not to do too much. When he returned to the house an hour later and found Clara sleeping, she could see he was determined to have the conversation she’d been dreading.
“The cake was delicious, Jane. Better than I remember.” Joining her in the kitchen, he watched as she cut up potatoes for the evening meal. “What I don’t understand is why you made it for me, especially after yesterday.”
If they were going to move past this, she had to convince him it meant nothing. Mimicking her twin’s casual attitude, she shrugged and continued chopping. “I wanted to. You weren’t feeling well, and I thought you’d appreciate the gesture.”
“I do. Of course, it’s just—”
“The kiss wasn’t supposed to happen, but it did. I’m not losing sleep over it, and neither should you.”
The look on his face was almost comical. He’d been expecting a different response. “You’re not upset anymore?”
“I overreacted. If you’ll recall, I’m still dealing with Roy’s defection.”
So far, so good. Leading him to think she was still mourning the loss of her fiancé was inspired. It’s not the truth, though. You’re misleading him.
“Another reason I should’ve been more circumspect.” His low, rich voice riddled with self-derision bathed her in guilt. “I regret causing you distress. That wasn’t my intention. Can you forgive me?”
He wanted her forgiveness for something beautiful and precious, a never-to-be-repeated moment she’d treasure in her heart forever.
“There’s nothing to forgive. We got caught up in the moment, that’s all. Let’s just consider it forgotten, okay?”
Tom moved to stand beside her a respectable distance away. “More than anything, Jane, I don’t want to lose your friendship.” A sigh gusted out of him. In her peripheral vision, she saw him shove his fingers through his wavy locks, mussing them further. “I missed you while I was away. I can’t express how much having you in my life again means to me.”
Struck by his earnestness, she met his gaze. The deep green pools reflected anxiety. Her fingers itched to smooth the furrow between his eyes. “We’re still friends. We always will be.”
“I want you to be comfortable here. As comfortable as if this were your own home.”
That was the very thing she could not allow. Inserting herself into this family, even temporarily, would widen the unhealed fissure in her heart, inviting in even more heartbreak.
She scooped up the diced potatoes and dropped them in the enamel bowl. “What matters is that my replacement is comfortable here. Do you have any prospects?”
He’d snagged a cube from the bowl and was about to pop it in his mouth. The sheepish tilt to his mouth gave her the answer. “I’m afraid I haven’t given the matter my full attention.”
Jessica’s theory had been right. Jane didn’t blame him. His and Clara’s lives had been turned upside down. Made sense he’d crave routine and tranquility.
“I won’t be here indefinitely.” She started peeling an onion, deliberately not looking at him. “In fact, I’m planning an extended visit to Maryville soon. My aunt Althea would dearly love the company.”
The air whooshed out of him. “When? How long will you be gone?”
Telling herself his anxiety stemmed entirely from how her absence would affect Clara, she focused on her task. “In a month. As for how long I’ll be gone, I have no idea.”
“One month.”
His beautiful eyes dulled slightly, his lips turning down at the corners. Memories of how they’d felt whispering against hers awakened a yearning deep inside. Unnerved, Jane gripped the knife handle and chopped faster. The tears springing to her eyes were a result of the onion. Nothing more.
Both hands braced on the counter, dark hair sliding forward onto his forehead, he appeared to be having trouble absorbing her news.
He’ll accept your decision soon enough, she consoled herself. There were any number of eligible women, both young and old, who’d be willing to step in. Tom was a kind, considerate man, Clara an endearing five-year-old.
Who knew? Perhaps the woman he found to replace her would be the one to finally make him forget he’d ever wanted Megan.
*
Several days had passed since Jane’s announcement, yet Tom was having trouble moving past his disappointment. He couldn’t stop questioning the timing. Had she made up her mind to go before or after his shocking lapse in judgment?
Hitching his horse to an outlying tree, he surveyed the party in full swing. The massive cantilever barn set in the middle of rolling fields was lit up like a jar of fireflies, lanterns strung across the open interior that ran the length of the structure. Outside, a large bonfire threw sparks into the silken night sky. Those folks not interested in dancing mingled in small clusters around it. Lively music dominated by fiddles drifted on the breeze as he loped across the yard.
He normally enjoyed the chance to relax and catch up with neighbors. Tonight, his current troubles consumed him.
The doorless entrance gave him an unobstructed view of the crowd. Old and young women alike congregated on one side, chatting together and doling out the refreshments. The men lined the opposite wall, married ones no doubt discussing crops and farm business while the single ones searched for willing dance partners. In the wide, central area, couples twirled to the musicians’ tunes.
Nathan and Sophie were among the dancers, as were Caleb and Rebecca.
Josh separated himself from the group of men he’d been conversing with and wound his way through the press of bodies to Tom’s side. “I was beginning to think you weren’t gonna make it.” He raised his voice to be heard over the noise.
Scooting to stand against the wall, the uneven slats poking his back, Tom said, “I was late getting Clara to your ma’s.”
“Was Victoria sleeping when you got there?”
“No. Caleb’s sister-in-law was reading her a story. She’s a sweetheart, Josh. Once she reaches courting age, you’ll have trouble fighting off the young bucks.”
“Any man interested in her will have to go through me first,” Josh declared, chin jutting determinedly.
Tom looked away, aware of his friend’s instinctive drive to watch out for the females in his family. That protectiveness extended to Jane. He didn’t want to think what Josh’s reaction might be if he found out about that kiss.
I took advantage of her vulnerability. What should I expect?
He searched for a familiar flash of red hair. She hadn’t said whether or not she was coming, bu
t he’d sensed her reluctance. Jane was content with her own company or a small group of friends.
“Looking for anyone in particular?” Josh drawled with a trace of humor.
Tom ceased his survey at once. “Just curious how many people I recognize. Seems a number of folks moved into the area during my absence.”
“Including attractive, available young ladies. You know, now that you have Clara to take care of, you might consider marrying one of them.”
“I’m not in the frame of mind to think about that yet.” He frowned at his friend, annoyed for some unknown reason. How could he court a young lady when he couldn’t get Jane out of his head? “The farm’s my top priority.”
Couples whirled past in a colorful blur. As they parted, he spotted Jane near the refreshment table conversing with her best friend, Caroline Turner. Stunning in a square-necked satiny cream dress with maroon trim and lace cuffs, her cinnamon-hued tresses pinned up and interwoven with dainty white flowers, Jane looked like spring personified. Lush and vibrant. Her skin, he knew from experience, would be incredibly soft beneath his fingertips.
How could he entertain thoughts of marriage to anyone when memories of their embrace refused to leave him be? Every moment in her company this week had been a test of his resolve. He’d been forced to remind himself more than once that she didn’t welcome his advances, didn’t appreciate his actions. He’d found himself struggling to define his feelings.
Was this merely a normal male reaction to her beauty? Or was it something more? Something he dared not examine too closely? He’d ruined his friendship with Megan because he’d misread the signs, had allowed himself to believe she returned his feelings when, in truth, she’d loved another. He would not be repeating that mistake.
Loneliness was no doubt to blame in this instance. In Kansas, after Charles had disappeared and the ranch hands sought work elsewhere, weeks would sometimes pass without another soul to speak to besides Clara. Spending his days in Jane’s company reawakened a need to connect. Her demure appeal drew him like a bee to honey, the way she looked at him made him feel invincible capable of great feats.
He liked her. He liked being with her.
Ruining their friendship over a stupid kiss was not an option.
He simply had to subdue the loneliness inside that demanded he get close to her.
Beside him, Josh expelled an irritated huff. Tom followed his gaze and scowled at the sight of Roy Crowley entering the barn, a petite brunette on his arm. A hasty glance in Jane’s direction revealed she was as yet unaware of his arrival.
He pushed off the wall. “I’m going to warn Jane.”
His mood unreadable, Josh tipped his head. “Thanks for looking out for her.”
“No need to thank me.”
Winding his way through the throng, he approached Jane and her friend. “Evening, ladies.”
Soft color suffused Jane’s cheeks. “Tom. You remember Caroline Turner?”
“I do.” He smiled at the willowy blonde. “How have you been?”
“Fine. Jane told me you were home to stay this time. Is that true?” Caroline’s answering smile had a wintry edge, and he wondered at it.
“That’s the plan.”
“Well…that’s wonderful.” Sounding anything but enthusiastic, she smirked. “Please excuse me while I go and speak to my mother. Jane, I’ll see you at the quilting bee next week.”
“Did I interrupt something?” He leaned close to Jane and was enveloped by her summer-fruit scent.
“Nothing of import.” Flipping open a decorative fan, she slowly flicked it back and forth, the movement stirring the tendrils at her temples.
Watching the blonde’s retreat, he caught her backward glance and accompanying smirk. “I get the impression she doesn’t approve of me.”
He didn’t care, not really, but he didn’t like to think of Caroline complaining to Jane about him.
“Caroline can’t abide many men. She has a difficult relationship with her father.”
“Are you sure it’s not because of my friendship with you?”
“She’s loyal and protective.”
“And she knows that I hurt you with my immature handling of my absence.”
“I thought we’d moved past that.”
Her frank observation eased his anxiety on that front. He could detect no lingering accusation.
Someone bumped into him.
“Sorry, mister.” A blushing girl of about twelve darted off to join her giggling friends.
“You don’t normally enjoy this sort of outing,” he said. “What made you come?”
“My sister said that if I didn’t, everyone would assume I was hiding from Roy and Laura.” Defiance kindled in her eyes, and her chin angled up. “I refuse to be a coward.”
Astonishment angled through him. “You? A coward? Not possible.”
Lowering the fan to her side, she didn’t respond.
“He’s here, you know,” he said gently. “With her.”
Her lips parted to release a puff of air. “I’m not surprised. They don’t seem to be suffering any humiliation.”
Over by the musicians, the couple in question was being greeted by a gaggle of folks, no doubt eager to hear Laura wax on about her fortuitous timing. The irritating woman wasn’t shy about discussing the almost wedding. Annoyance filtered through him.
“Dance with me,” he blurted.
“What?”
“It’ll be like old times.” He meshed his fingers with hers. “And you can show that fool what he’s missing.”
She hung back. “I can’t remember the last time I danced.”
“I don’t mind if you step on my toes.”
A tiny smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “You may regret saying that.”
Chuckling, Tom led her into the fray, happy he could do this for her. It was just a dance between friends, he assured himself as he settled his arm about her waist and slowly pulled her close. Despite her protests, she was graceful on her feet, following his lead as if they were connected by an invisible string. Her fine-boned hand fit perfectly in his. As the melody wove through them, she relaxed, a small smile fixed on her face, mysterious green eyes lit from within.
The tension that had characterized their exchanges this week dissipated.
“You enjoying yourself?” he said, grinning at her.
The lamplight caught the sheen in her rich waves with every movement of her head. “As a matter of fact, I am.”
He maneuvered a tight spin and, as he did, knocked into a solid form. He murmured an apology over his shoulder.
“Tom? Jane?”
Megan’s lilting voice had him stopping midpivot, and Jane collided with his chest. “Hello, Megan,” he said. “Lucian.”
The dark-headed man’s smile was gracious as he dipped his head. “Good to see you, Tom. You’re looking lovely this evening, Jane.”
“Thank you.” Her eyes were downcast, her cheeks pale.
He noticed then that folks were staring. Jane wasn’t the only one who’d set the grapevines ablaze with rampant rumors. Might as well show them the past was just that…the past.
Glancing at Lucian, he said, “Would you mind if we switched partners?”
He hesitated but a moment. “Fine with me. Ladies?”
Megan’s smile didn’t falter. “Certainly.”
During that initial visit to her home, while Jane had occupied the children in the garden, he’d apologized for putting her in the position he had all those years ago. He shouldn’t have insisted on her wearing his ring while considering his proposal. By doing so, he’d caused a rift between her and Lucian, who’d almost left Gatlinburg for good.
Not looking at Tom, Jane held out her hand to her brother-in-law. “I’d love to dance with you, Lucian.”
As Tom swept Megan in his arms, he registered the loss of Jane’s company with a resigned sigh.
Chapter Thirteen
“He’s not in love with her anymore.”
/> Jane’s fingers flexed on Lucian’s arm. Born and raised among New Orleans’s high society, he was an accomplished dancer, deftly maneuvering her across the straw-strewn earth. She looked up into his warm brown eyes that radiated understanding and compassion.
“Megan told you about my…feelings?”
He inclined his head. “Your secret is safe with me, ma petite.”
Against her better judgment, she allowed her gaze to stray to Tom and Megan, not surprised by the ache overtaking her. “How can you be certain? He looks happy to be with her. Really happy.”
“I remember how he used to look at her, and it’s not the same,” he said thoughtfully, also watching the pair. “Tom’s an intelligent man. He’s accepted that she will never be his. Much time has passed, and now he regards her with fondness.”
Jane wasn’t sure she shared his conviction. She’d thought Tom was enjoying himself with her. So why draw attention to himself by dancing with the woman who’d spurned him?
The music faded. Tom was thanking Megan, preparing to return her to her husband’s side. Jane slipped free.
“I, uh, would like some fresh air.” She gestured to where the pleasant anonymity of darkness awaited. “Thanks for the dance.”
Darting around couples, she escaped into the quieter, cooler air and hurried away from the noise with no particular destination in mind. Entering the woods cloaked in shadows, she slowed. A fat white moon hung in the inky sky, giving off sufficient light for her to make out shapes.
She hadn’t progressed very far when Tom called out to her. He must’ve pursued her the instant he’d noticed her retreat. Turning, fingers splayed on a gnarled tree trunk, she saw his impressive form silhouetted in the moonlight. He hadn’t yet entered the woods. His hair gleamed a rich chocolate, his forehead and sharp cheekbones visible while his eyes were not.
No use hiding. Entering a swath of muted light, she said, “I’m here.”
The stiff set of his shoulders eased. Striding forward, he stopped short a few feet away. “I won’t interrupt your solitude for long. Just wanted to check on you.”
“I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time.” She said the words without bite. “I don’t need you to look after me.”
