“Hey, are you OK,? Samantha asks Connor over lunch one Saturday afternoon.
“Yeah, sure, why do you ask,” he tries to put on a relaxed face for her.
“You seem...upset.”
“I’m not. It’s just the work. Things are really busy,” he says and plucks a flower from a plant for her.
Samantha takes the flower and stares at it for a moment, trying to find comfort. She senses he’s covering something, but she doesn’t know how to call him out on it in this moment. It’s more than the odd calls. He is slightly distant--less holding hands under the table or running his fingers over her back as he passes by. Just enough difference to make her feel a touch of insecurity, a feeling she’s been trying to avoid most of her life.
Reading the paper one morning when Arabella is with Marla, Samantha sees a story about SpaceMark’s newest advertising campaign. Two of her favorite topics, Connor and her career field, joined into one. Samantha excitedly asks Connor questions about the campaign--how it’s going, what was the process to create it, how did he feel about it--and then asks if she could possibly meet the person in charge of this effort. Connor’s face goes emotionless.
After a moment, he says, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” and goes back to eating his eggs.
Samantha is shocked. He’s always been so supportive of her wanting to follow her dreams. She sees she can’t ignore the changes in him any longer, but she doesn’t have a plan forward. That afternoon, she tells Connor she’s going back to her apartment to have an evening of catching up with Cheri. Though this is absolutely her plan, she is heartbroken when he just looks at her for a moment and replies with a casual nod.
***
“I don’t want to freak you out,” Cheri says with her mouth half full of popcorn, “but there are definitely some red flags here.
“I know! And I don’t know what to do about them. That’s what I’m telling you. Like, none of it makes sense!”
“But, Sweetie, I think it does. Let’s look at the facts: he’s uncomfortable with you being at his office. He gets stressed around you after he has certain phone calls.”
“And he gets those calls day and night,” Samantha interrupts.
“Yes, day and night. He’s been a little distant, touching you less and such.”
“Oh, God,” Samantha says as the pieces fall into place. She doesn’t want to say it aloud.”
“Honey, I think he’s got someone else.”
These words are a hard slap across the face. Samantha’s heart doesn’t want to believe it.
“I don’t know,” she is searching for something, anything, that can counter this. “I mean, maybe it’s…” her voice trails off. Her mind is racing. Tears start to stream down her face, “Maybe it’s because I’m still so focused on advertising. I mean, I talk about it, ask him questions. He did get really weird when I asked him to connect me with his advertising department.”
“Aaah, yes. I mean, that would make sense. He is technically your boss, after all.”
“Yes! And, as his nanny, I’m nearly always available for him. My whole life is focused on him and his daughter.”
“And that would change if you were off working in some big shot office, wouldn’t it.”
Samantha can’t confirm or truly deny either of these scenarios. And, she can’t decide which is worse: the idea that he’s been dating someone behind her back or the idea that he’s been lying this whole time about supporting her bigger hopes and dreams. Both are huge betrayals.
CHAPTER TEN
Sunday morning, Connor answers his phone in a mixture of excitement and worry.
“Hey! How was your night with Cheri?”
“It was just what I needed, thanks,” she says a little formally.
“Great, I’m glad to hear it. Are you coming back today?”
“Actually, I was wondering if you can meet me in the city for lunch.”
“Sure. Saison at 1?”
“Wow, Saison. Yeah, that’d be lovely.”
***
The drive in from the country house is nerve-wracking for Connor. Not only does he have the feeling Samantha is going to deliver bad news, but Marla is calling him every 15 minutes to scream at him about Arabella’s hair needing a trim and that the alimony she gets isn’t enough for a pauper to survive on though she receives enough to live comfortably in the most expensive part of San Francisco. He takes deep breaths. But finally, on call number five, when she is badgering him about what an absent father he is and that Arabella doesn’t love him, he loses his composure.
“Marla! I don’t have time for your crazy shit right now. I’m going to hang up and enjoy Saison, and we will talk later!” And, with that, he ends the call.
It feels so good. He never pushes back with her so directly. He spends so much energy trying to keep her inner beast quiet, not raging, for Arabella’s sake. But, her beast has been wide awake for months now.
Samantha is standing outside the restaurant when his car pulls up. He steps out to greet the stunning woman waiting for him. She looks a little tired, but no less lovely in a bright blue dress and sunshine yellow heels.
Seated at their table next to the window, they chat about the restaurant. It’s Connor’s favorite. He’s friends with the chef. It’s been too long since he’s been here. Samantha loves the details of the decor, the wild game on the menu, the beautiful plating she sees at the other tables. Abruptly she changes the subject.
“Are you upset that I want to be more than a nanny? That I have other goals?”
Connor looks at her with genuine surprise.
Samantha fills the silence. “Because I’ve been clear from the very beginning what I’m about, and if that’s a problem for you--”
“No! Of course not! Why on Earth would you think that? I mean--”
“I keep asking you if something is wrong. You keep saying no, and I keep feeling the unshakeable truth that something is. And you got uncomfortable the other day when I asked to meet the person in charge of SpaceMark’s latest ad campaign. You know I wasn’t asking for a job, right? I just want to ask some questions. And I’m not trying to leave Arabella.”
Connor’s face shifts into loving comfort. He takes her hands in his across the table and leans in to say, “Sunshine, no. No, of course not. I told you it’s your drive and focus on your dreams that drew me to you.”
“Yeah, but just because it drew you to me, doesn’t mean it keeps you here.”
“You’re right. What keeps me here is your fierce determination, your sassy wit.” A mischievous smile streaks across his face. “And your incredible presence in my bed.”
Samantha blushes.
“You are everything I’ve ever wanted. And I don’t want you to be our nanny forever though you are the best nanny Arabella has ever had. But you are too bright, too talented, to not go after what you really want. And I want to support you in that.”
Samantha looks down at her their hands. She has one more question but doesn’t know if she wants the answer.
“So, if it’s not my focus on career…” Her stomach feels like it’s doing gymnastics, but she continues, “is there someone else? Are you seeing someone else?”
Connor looks hurt, and Samantha is surprised by this expression on his face.
“I--,” he searches for words, “I can’t believe you’d think that of me.”
“Well, I don’t know what to think. You get these weird call at all hours of the day and night. It’s obviously the same person each time. And strangest of all, these are the only calls you will not take with me in the room. What the hell am I supposed to think?”
Connor’s hurt face melts into relief, and then he starts laughing quietly to himself, rubbing his hands over his face.
“Oh, my darling, my darling.” He looks at her again, now with happiness. “Sunshine, those calls aren’t some secret lover. They’re crazy rants from Marla.”
Samantha sees all the pieces fall into place. It makes perfect sense.
Connor continues, “She has been particularly unstable over the last few months. She’s calling me all the time going off about everything and nothing at all. You have to understand, she’s truly ill.”
“Then why do you leave the room to talk to her?” Samantha asks.
“Well, because it’s overwhelming. And I don’t want to worry you. Ironic, I know.”
“And that’s it? There’s nothing else? Seriously, Connor, this is the time to tell me if there’s anything else.”
Connor hesitates but finally says, “There is one more thing. Marla has gotten focused on you. She sees you as stealing her man and corrupting her daughter, and she calls partly to tell me these things.”
Samantha leans back with the weight of this. “I see,” is all she says.
“Marla has too much time on her hands. She’s never understood why I wanted a divorce, and I guess she’s never really gotten over it.”
“I guess that explains why she’s been particularly horrible to me from the start.”
“Indeed. But you’ve done nothing wrong, little girl. It’s not your fault that I married and divorced an unstable woman.” Connor takes a drink of his wine and continues, “But, I’d understand if this is too much for you. You’re young. You don’t need this kind of drama.”
Samantha looks at him like he’s lost his mind. “If you think she can run me off, you’re as crazy as she is,” she says, and they both break into laughter.
The rest of the meal is long and luxurious and lovely. After three hours, they summon the driver to return for them, with the plan to head to his city home to complete their making up. Standing out on the sidewalk, Connor looks at her adoringly, pulls her into him, and kisses her slowly, deeply, with his fingers wandering in her hair, savoring the wet heat of her mouth against his. He feels like he could spend the rest of his life kissing this woman.
Samantha puts her hand up to the hold the side of his face, they embrace even closer, and she lets out a little moan at the feeling of him probing deep into her mouth, flicking her tongue with a taste of what’s to come.
Suddenly a loud screech, incredibly close, zooms at them and someone is on top of them.
“YOU FILTHY WHORE, I WARNED YOU! I’LL END YOU, YOU SLUT!”
With a knife flying through the air, and screaming at the top of her lungs, Marla is on Samantha with animal strength.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
A sharp pain and then heat, and then more pain is what Samantha feels. Marla’s knees dig into her body, keeping her from getting up. A moment later Marla is high above her, Connor and the driver holding Marla’s twisting and kicking body. She doesn’t look human, foaming at the mouth, crazy eyes, and torn clothes. She is like an animal pulled from a nightmare.
Someone from the restaurant has come out to tell them they saw the whole thing and police are on their way. The driver now has his arms wrapped around Marla, holding her in place. She has stopped twisting and is just muttering to herself. Samantha has a slit on her face, and her arm is pulsing out blood in two places. Connor is on is knees, using his belt to stop the bleeding. Samantha is in a daze. Everything happened so fast. She was kissing Connor, and suddenly there was Marla’s face, and now she’s on the ground looking up at Connor, who is white as a ghost. Her body feels so cold. She feels like she might be sick, and then total darkness.
***
Samantha wakes up to the beeps and clicking sounds of hospital monitors.
“Connor?” She asks for him, groggy still. She feels his hand squeeze hers as her awareness returns to her body.
“I’m right here, Sunshine. I got you.”
Connor is sitting at her bedside with a bloodstained shirt. His face shows he’s been through hell.
“Where’s Marla?”
Connor’s face turns dark. “Don’t worry about her. You’re safe now.”
“I...I feel strange. I’m so sleepy.”
“That’s the meds they gave you. You’ve been out for eight hours. She cut your arm pretty bad. And your face. But I had the best plastic surgeon in the city take care of your wounds. You’ll never know they were there.”
“Connor, I don’t care about the plastic surgeon. What the hell happened? How did she know where we were? Why do you still have that shirt on?”
“It was me. I’m how she knew where we were,” painful guilt paints his face as he continues, “She called me repeatedly on my way into the city, and I finally just lost it. When I was hanging up on her, I said I just wanted to enjoy my meal at Saison. I can’t believe I did something so obviously stupid. I never make mistakes like that. I put you in horrible danger. You lost so much blood.” Connor looks away for a few moments. “The truth is I did this. I’m the reason you’re in this hospital bed,” and with this Connor stands up. “I’m so sorry. I can’t put you in any further danger.” He kisses her hand and walks out of the room before Samantha can say anything.
Samantha is stunned. What just happened, she wonders, still partly sedated. A moment later, the reality of everything settles in. She can feel her wounds start to ache. But, the hurt she feels the most is the hole Connor just cut into her heart.
***
Connor doesn’t answer her calls or emails, but he sends a personal chef, a maid, and a nurse to help during her recovery. Weekly, Margaret brings Arabella over to visit her, and though seeing the little girl reminds her of Connor, her bright energy is refreshing, and Samantha is thankful to have her around. By the time Samantha’s wounds are healed enough to return to work, Connor is in Hong Kong. He supposedly has a business, but she knows better.
On her bed at the city house, she finds a mahogany box with all the tokens and mementos she’s given him. A pink and blue seashell from a weekend trip to Catalina Island. Photo booth pictures of them together when they took Arabella up to the Seattle house. A mock ad she’d drawn up that advertises his powerful shoulders as the cure-all for a bad day. A braided locket of her hair with a small yellow daisy tied into the ribbon. The wound in Samantha’s heart opens up all over again. Her chest feels like it’s caving in on itself like she is an earthquake shaking the world out of place. She slumps down on the bed and sobs like she hasn’t since her mother died. She cries all night.
The next morning she gets up and resolves to move forward, no matter what. She focuses on Arabella, and in the evenings she looks through job ads both in San Francisco and in the other major cities across the country. She goes on this way for two months. The late summer heat grows unbearable in the city, and Samantha decides to take Arabella to the country house for a week. Arabella falls asleep in the car. Samantha carries her up to her bedroom. As she comes out of Arabella’s room, Connor walks out of his.
Both stunned, they stand there, staring at each other for a moment. Then, without a word, Connor turns around and walks down the stairs. Samantha is speechless. She stands there staring at the empty air where his body had been. A thousand thoughts swirl in her head, and she feels anger and hurt well up. How could he just walk away like that? Before her brain is conscious of the choice, her feet run after him.
He is halfway across the orchard by the time she sees him. He’s heading to the boathouse. She calls after him, but he keeps walking without turning around.
The boathouse door is shut. She stands in front of it for a few moments. Should I just walk away? Should I leave it at this? A box of returned treasures and an awkward silent showdown in the hallway? But, she just can’t and pushes the door open. Connor is winding rope into tidy bundles with his back to the door. The swift movement of his hands stalls for a moment at the sound of Samantha stepping inside and shutting the door.
Samantha pulls her shoulders back. She takes a breath, and says, “Connor, you need to speak with me. You can’t just run away from me like a child. We are a part of each other’s lives, at least for a little bit longer.”
Silence.
She continues, now feeling anger rise, “Do you think just because you’re avoiding me, I’m go
ing to quietly slink away?”
Silence.
More emotion rises in her voice, “In one month I am leaving San Francisco for good.”
Connor stops winding the rope. He slowly puts it down on the table in front of him. He looks out through the window.
“CONNOR CLARK TURN AROUND AND LOOK AT ME, DAMNIT!” Her voice cracks at the end. All the sadness she’s been carrying collides with the anger of his behavior today. She wants to beat him senseless and cry in his arms, all at the same time. She holds back her tears.
Big Bad Billionaires Page 33
