by Stormy Glenn
Hot Mess 5
Lany
There came a point where I began to believe life was perfect. I was married to the sexiest Italian ever trained to be a SWAT officer, I had two beautiful little girls, and more friends than I could count. And then my world fell out from beneath my feet, and I discovered that evil was alive and well and coming for me. I had two choices. I could hide in my panic room or spit in the devil’s face.
I spit in the devil’s face.
Salvador
Protecting my family from the evil in the world would be a whole lot easier if I wasn’t married to Lany, but I wouldn’t change a second of our life together, no matter what came our way. I just wished my gorgeous husband wasn’t such a hot mess. When the devil arrived on our doorstep and threatened all I held dear, I did the only thing I could.
I spit in the devil’s face.
Genre: Alternative (M/M, Gay), Contemporary
Length: 47,959 words
HOT MESS 5
Stormy Glenn

Siren Publishing, Inc.
www.SirenPublishing.com
A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK
HOT MESS 5
Copyright © 2017 by Stormy Glenn
ISBN: 978-1-64010-491-4
First Publication: June 2017
Cover design by Jess Buffett
All art and logo copyright © 2017 by Siren Publishing, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.
All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
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PUBLISHER
Siren Publishing, Inc.
www.SirenPublishing.com
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Stormy believes the only thing sexier than a man in cowboy boots is two or three men in cowboy boots. She also believes in love at first sight, soul mates, true love, and happy endings.
You can usually find her cuddled in bed with a book in her hand and a puppy in her lap, or on her laptop, creating the next sexy man for one of her stories. Stormy welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website at www.stormyglenn.com.
For all titles by Stormy Glenn, please visit
www.bookstrand.com/stormyglenn
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
About the Author
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Landmarks
Cover
HOT MESS 5
STORMY GLENN
Copyright © 2017
Chapter One
Lany
It made sense that it would be drizzling on a day like today. How could the powers that be allow sunshine and bright blue skies when my heart was breaking? Staring down at the polished wooden casket at my feet, I wondered if I would ever enjoy blue skies again.
I knew life was finite, but the last week had proven to me that it could end at any second. One moment you are there, and the next you are simply gone, the victim of a needless car accident.
I glanced across the casket to where my Uncle Jerry stood, his hands folded together in front of him, his eyes pinned on the casket as it was slowly lowered into the ground. How the man wasn’t screaming was beyond me. I’d be a blubbering mess on the floor if anything happened to my Sal.
I leaned into the SWAT commander, needing his touch to comfort me. Salvador Delvecchio was my reason for breathing. Without him, nothing worked. Not my job as personal assistant to the police chief—my uncle. Not raising our adopted twin girls, Rosy and Bella. Not even the flame that burned in the center of my soul only for my husband.
I needed Sal to function.
After everything we had been through, the kidnappings, the attacks, the mobsters…this might be the hardest. It sucked that our anniversary was this week. I didn’t feel like celebrating. I just wanted to gather my family close to me and hold on to them with every ounce of strength I had.
I sniffled as tears streamed down my cheeks.
A moment later, Sal’s hand grabbed mine.
When I lifted my eyes, Uncle Jerry was staring at me. I sent him a weak, wobbly smile, but it was the best I could muster under the circumstances. Uncle Jerry nodded back, just the barest movement of his head to acknowledge me.
It wasn’t something I felt he had to do, but I was glad he did. I was worried about my uncle. He had just lost his wife of nearly twenty years. If he wasn’t broken, then he was close to it.
I was still stunned by the fact that my Aunt Sally was gone. The woman had just always been there. She and my mother were as thick as thieves, as close as two sisters-in-law could be. The two women were the cornerstones of the Harris family.
What would we do without her?
I pulled my handkerchief out of my pocket and swiped at my nose. It had been running practically as long as my tears had. I had been crying for days. Just when I thought I was done, I would remember something Aunt Sally said or did and I would start up all over again.
I was a mess.
“Come on, caro.”
Sal’s arm felt heavy around my shoulders, but I was glad it was there. The man was practically the only thing keeping my vertical. He led me away from the gravesite and back through the freshly manicured lawn to the long line of limousines waiting to take us to the wake.
When I saw my parents, I pushed away from Sal and rushed over to them. I tried not to run. My mother wouldn’t approve. Emotional outbursts in public were not allowed. Behind closed doors, you could scream your head off. Never in public.
Knowing that, I was surprised when my mother hugged me just as I reached her.
“Junior.”
“Mom.” I breathed deep when my father’s hand went to my shoulder, giving me a good squeeze. After hugging my mother longer than probably was appropriate, I leaned back. I sent my father a wobbly smile. “Hey, Dad.”
Lancaster Harris II nodded at me. I would have thought him totally detached from the situation if I hadn’t seen the red rimming his eyes. “Junior.”
“Where are the girls, Junior?” Mother asked.
“Eddie and Lyn are watching them.” I wouldn’t leave my twin girls with just anyone. “They said they’d stay as long as we needed them. I thought it was better to leave the twins at home.”
I adored my adopted twin girls and had since the moment they were laid in my arms almost a year ago. I could still remember how precious each of the three-week-old twins had looked. They stole my heart with that one look. They did the same with almost everyone they met.
&nb
sp; “Yes, quite right.” Cynthia Harris drew in a strong breath. She was a formable woman, and it rattled me a little bit to see her shaken. “A funeral is no place for those beautiful little angels.”
Despite the somberness of our situation, I found myself smiling. Rosy and Bella had stolen my mother’s heart the second she had seen them. She had all but given up ever being a grandmother, instead, devoting herself to my father and me and all her little causes. Learning that she had not one but two granddaughters had put me and Sal in her good graces for months.
My father tried to pretend he was merely amused by his wife’s total devotion to Rosy and Bella, but I had caught him sneaking into their room to watch them sleep on more than one occasion. More times than not, a new stuffed animal for the girls was clutched in his hand.
It was a secret kept between just us.
“We’ll see you at your uncle’s house?” my mother asked.
“We’ll be there, Cynthia,” Sal said.
Cynthia’s lips spread into a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, but I didn’t think it was Sal. Her eyes were too filled with sadness. She clasped Sal’s hand between two of hers. “Thank you, Salvador. You’ve been a godsend through all of this.”
I noticed a slight flush to Sal’s cheeks before he glanced away. “This is my family.”
I wanted to hug the man again, but took his hand instead. As much as I wanted to shout to the world that Sal belonged to me, waving my rainbow flag at a funeral was wrong, even I knew that. I needed to be thinking about my aunt today, a woman who had accepted me and all my quirks and had thrown Sal and I the biggest engagement party of the season.
God, I was going to miss her.
I glanced around before leaning closer to my mother. I didn’t really want anyone else to overhear me. “I know we should bring something, but I don’t know what.”
“It’s all taken care of, Junior. Just be there. That’s what your uncle needs from you now.”
“But—”
“Carmine is catering it as his way of remembering your aunt.”
Oh. Carmine was good. He was kind of the go-to caterer my mother and Aunt Sally used for their social functions. For the man to donate his services was huge.
“It’s time to go, caro.”
I sent Sal a small nod before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to my mother’s cheek. “I’ll see you at the house, Mother.”
“Drive safe, Junior.”
Those words took on a whole new meaning considering Aunt Sally had died in a car accident.
“We will.”
When I went to shake my father’s hand, he pulled me into a rare hug. I was shocked, but not enough to not hug him back.
“I’m proud of you, Junior.” Lancaster spoke low in my ear, but I still heard him, and his words brought tears to my eyes. I don’t think I had ever heard my father say he was proud of me.
I knew I was loved. My parents showed it with how protective they were and how much they meddled in my life. But I always felt as if I didn’t quite measure up to the Harris name.
Of course, now I was a Delvecchio and not a Harris, but still.
“Thank you, Dad.”
“We’ll see you at the house.” He pushed me away, grabbed my mother’s arm, and started walking away before I could say anything more. I stood there in an astonished little fog as I watched them reach their limousine and climb in.
“That was so weird.”
“What, caro?”
“My father told me he was proud of me.”
Sal grunted.
“Well, it is weird.”
“You know your father loves you.”
I did.
“It’s still weird.”
“Get in the car, Lany.”
I smiled as I turned toward our car. “Yes, dear.”
Marcus was waiting for us. He gave me a little nod as he held the door open. “How is your uncle?”
I glanced back toward the gravesite. Uncle Jerry was still standing there in the rain, staring down at the hole in the ground where Aunt Sally’s coffin had been lowered.
Instead of climbing into the car, I started toward him. “Wait for me,” I told Sal as I passed him. I knew Sal wouldn’t leave without me, but he needed to know I wouldn’t be long.
When I reached Uncle Jerry, I wasn’t quite sure what to say. What did you say to a man who had just lost his wife of nearly twenty years? Gee? Sorry? There just didn’t seem to be any words of comfort I could offer.
“She was picking up her cocktail dress from the dry cleaners,” Jerry said out of the blue. “We were planning a special date night together and she wanted to wear her favorite dress.”
Oh man.
“It’s the one she was wearing to—” Jerry cleared his throat before continuing. “It’s the one she was wearing today.”
“She looked very nice.”
“I’m a cop,” Jerry said as if I hadn’t spoken at all. “I know these things happen. I’ve scraped more people off the pavement than I can count, but Sally…she was just…she was just going to the fucking dry cleaners.”
I winced at the pain in my uncle’s voice. He was looking for someone to blame, for someone to get angry at over the loss of his wife. There just wasn’t any. It had been an accident, plain and simple. A car moving too fast, a car backing out of a driveway, one car swerved and hit Aunt Sally’s car directly in the driver’s side door. She had died instantly.
“It was simply a freak accident, Uncle Jerry. You know that.”
Jerry didn’t say anything.
When I glanced up, Sal met my gaze across the manicured grass. He had his arms folded over his chest as he leaned back against the side of the limousine chatting with Marcus. His pose was casual enough, but the man didn’t take his eyes off of me.
Made sense. I could get into trouble in the best of times.
This was not the best of times.
“Come on, Uncle.” I looped my arm through my uncle’s. “It’s time to head back to the house. Everyone is waiting on us.”
“For what?” Jerry grumbled. “To tell me how sorry they are before they go home to their families?”
I grimaced. My uncle was basically right. It just kind of sucked how he put it into words. I had to do something to get the man functioning, and I was probably going to go to hell for it.
“Shame on you!” I snapped so harshly, my uncle’s head came up and he stared at me. Which meant he wasn’t staring at the coffin in the ground, so that was something. “Aunt Sally was a wonderful woman and I know you loved her. God knows I’d be a mess if something happened to Sal, but this is not the way to honor her memory. You know for a fact she would smack you over the head if she saw you standing here like this.”
My jaw started to drop when a small smile curved up Jerry’s lips. I quickly pressed my lips together.
“Yeah, she would, wouldn’t she?”
“You know she would.”
Jerry breathed deep. It looked like a calming breath. “I don’t know what to do without her, Junior. I don’t know how to do this without her. Sally is the one who kept me glued together. She kept me from looking like a complete buffoon.”
Not really, but I wasn’t going to argue with him on today of all days. I worked for the guy as his personal assistant. I knew exactly how much of a buffoon my uncle could be.
I tugged on Uncle Jerry’s arm. “So, let’s go back to the house and you can show everyone that all of her hard work wasn’t in vain.”
“Your mother said Carmine was catering.”
“That’s what she told me.”
“Sally loved Carmine.”
I smiled because the man was right. “She did, and I’ll bet he made all her favorites.”
“She would have insisted on finger foods for an event like this, something people could carry around on small plates while they mingled.”
Again, I knew my uncle was right. Sit-down dinners were not appropriate for a wake. Just some munchies and a crap ton of
alcohol. I was aiming for a drink myself, preferably a really strong one.
I was grateful when Uncle Jerry allowed me to pull him away from the gravesite. Standing there staring down at his wife’s coffin wouldn’t do him a damn bit of good.
“Jerry,” Sal said when he approached. He nodded to my bodyguard. “You remember Marcus?”
“Junior’s bodyguard, right?”
Marcus nodded.
I had been a bit miffed when my father and Sal had decided I needed a fulltime bodyguard, but my life was never as free flowing as I would have liked. No matter how hard I tried, I always ended up in messes.
Marcus was there to try to keep me out of them when Sal wasn’t around. The man was good at his job. In the year that he had been watching me, he had saved me from one robbery at a convenience store, a drive-by shooting, a random mugging, and some bimbo blond who wanted me out of the picture so she could get her vapid claws into Sal.
Never gonna happen.
My husband was very handsome. He was also Italian and six and a half feet of delicious olive tanned SWAT officer. He had copper-colored eyes that turned to molten lava when he was aroused, thick jet-black hair that hung down nearly to his shoulders, and a muscular physique that made most people drool with envy.
And he was all mine.
He had seen something in me four years ago that he wanted to keep, and I would be forever grateful that happened. I was a hot mess ninety percent of the time, but I was his hot mess.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Police Commissioner,” Marcus said. “If there is anything I can do?”
“No, thank you.” Jerry gave Marcus a tight smile. “There’s nothing…”
Marcus gave a curt nod before stepping back to stand by the car.
“I guess I should get going.” Jerry spoke the words, but made no move to head to his car.
“Why don’t you ride with us, Jerry,” Sal said. “We have plenty of room.”
“Yeah,” I said as I grabbed at my uncle’s arm. “Ride with us, Uncle Jerry.”