by Colet Abedi
A dull ache? That sounds just as bad. Who wants a dull ache forever?
“And you know why you’re so lucky?” Erik continues as he strokes my hair.
“Why?” Lucky was not the adjective I would use to describe my current predicament.
“Because he wasn’t a hideous loser. One look at him and it totally makes sense as to why you fell for him,” Erik explains. “You should see the doozies I have to reminisce about or try to block out of my memory. It’s not so pretty.”
I laugh.
“You have great taste,” I tell him. “Look at Orie.”
Orie is beyond handsome with his dark hair and eyes.
“They didn’t all look like Orie.” Erik snorts. “I’ve had some beer goggles on in my day.”
He pulls away from me and goes back to spooning the cookies. I walk over to my kitchen drawer and pull out a spoon of my own. I help myself to some raw cookie dough.
Erik shakes his head at me and tsks.
“That is so wrong. What if you get salmonella poisoning?”
Then it will be worth it because this tastes too good.
“I think that’s an urban legend,” I tell him.
“Keep telling yourself that,” Erik says as he turns my oven on.
His cell phone rings and he picks it up.
“Hey, baby.” He says as his voice becomes all lovely dovey. I know it’s Orie. “Yes, I’m with Sophie. I will tell her you say hi. She’s fine. Yes. I made her shower. I know. So how did the meeting go?”
I walk into my family room in order to give him some privacy. I can hear him whispering and giggling and I feel a pang of longing. I wrap my arms around my waist and stare out on my balcony.
“Sophie,” I hear Clayton’s voice again as I get swept back again to the Maldives. “I’m so proud of you.”
I’m floating in the ocean next to Clayton who’s at arm’s length just watching over me. He had helped me conquer my fear of ocean and sharks. Since I was a young girl I had been afraid of Jaws and it was a fear I thought would never go away but Clayton had made me face it. And own it.
“It feels silly to hear you tell me that you’re proud that I can float,” I told him. “But I’ll take it.”
He laughed as he walked toward me in the ocean. Don’t get me wrong, I hadn’t completely shed all my fears of the water and my heart was still beating a million miles a minute but I was trying to conquer the fear and I had at least willingly gone in the water. And this was a first for me. All because of him.
We were on the private island that Clayton had booked for us and it was surreal to think that we were the only two people around for miles.
“I am proud,” he said as his hands came up underneath my back.
“You must think I’m the world’s biggest baby,” I move up from the floating position and wrap myself like a vine around his body. His arms instinctively pulled me as close as possible, his large hands cupping my bottom and stroking my skin. He leaned down to kiss me on my shoulder.
“We all have our fears,” Clayton said as his mouth moved to my neck, licking and kissing ever so softly.
“Really?” I laughed breathlessly. “What’s yours?”
I pulled away from him so I could look up at his handsome face and ease my racing heart. I didn’t want his touch to distract me.
I was surprised when the look on his face got serious.
“Right now?” He asked.
“Yes.”
“Losing you,” he told me before lowering his head to kiss me until I couldn’t think straight.
“Time for a wine refill!” Erik calls out to me, pulling me back to the present moment.
Losing you.
You lied to me, Clayton. And you lost me.
***
