“Did you see that? She didn't jump. She's alive,” I tell him triumphantly and full of joy. With shining eyes I turn to him and am caught in his dark, sorrowful gaze. Even through the shadows the blue of his eyes loses nothing of its fascination. It takes a while before I can tear myself away from them and am able to speak.
“You can't decide this for me, Noah. And in fact I'm wrong to let my brother always decide for me too. I have to decide for myself. And as you can see, destiny can be influenced, it's not inalterable. I was able to save her.”
“Amy . . .” he searches for words as noise from the street reaches us from below. Screams, screeching tires and the sound of splintered glass penetrate my ears. And then I see it – the slight glow in the blue of his eyes before it turns into an equally fascinating green.
“I hate to disappoint you,” he says quietly.
“No.” I shake my head in disbelief. “No!” This time I scream my rage and disappointment in his face and beat my fists on his chest. He catches my hands and holds me tight in an embrace.
“I'm sorry, my angel. I tried to explain – it's not in our hands.”
22
Amkaya
We drive through the night-time city streets in silence, past the neon lights and lit up signs.
“Not home. Just drive,” I replied to Noah's question about where we should go. No, I don't want to go home. On the one hand I may feel the need to rest and do nothing, so I can sort through my feelings and thoughts, but on the other hand I feel restless, driven.
In a side road off Mission Street he slows the car down, and then pulls over and nods toward two men who are standing in front of a bar having a conversation.
“That's one, by the way,” he says.
“One?” I'm confused.
“A vampire.”
Frozen, I stare at the two men on the sidewalk opposite. “Which one?”
“The black guy.”
“How can you tell from here? How do you know he's one?”
“I can simply feel it. It's difficult to describe.”
“Could you feel it with me too? That I'm a half-blood?”
“I only felt that you're different. Special. Nothing more. No label.”
Of course. If he had known I was immortal, then he would have behaved differently in the airplane. The words “I'm sorry” had expressed true regret, because of his assumption I would die in the plane crash. But I already realized that in the cabin in Lake Tahoe.
Both men now disappear inside the bar. 7SINS shines in neon red over the entrance.
Noah's hand reaches for the ignition key to start the car again, but I stop him with a quick motion.
“No, no. Let's go in.”
He raises an eyebrow in surprise. “You want to follow him?”
“Yes. I basically know nothing about vampires. I only knew my father until I was nine years old and I can't ask him anything. Yet I have so many damn questions.”
“And you think this guy's going to answer your questions? I don't think it's a good idea. Let's just go.”
“No,” I say stubbornly. “You can't decide this for me either. If you don't want to come, fine, then I'll go alone.” I reach for my purse, open the car door and give him a determined look. “Will you wait for me?”
“No.”
I guess not then. I get out and slam the door behind me.
“As if I'd wait out here for you. You don't seriously think I'm letting you go in there alone.” He climbs out the other side of the car and closes his door too.
“I'm your strong girlfriend, or did you forget?” I remind him of his words.
“Well then, nothing can happen to me.”
Even as I open the door the smell and sounds of the bar hit me. I make a face, because the stench of sweat and alcohol disgusts me. The bar is packed and even the dance floor is bustling with people. In spite of the dim light, my eyes quite quickly spot my target. He is sitting right at the end of the counter, tapping away on his cell phone and talking to the bartender.
“He's over there. It's better if I do this alone. Please. I don't want you to wind up back in the cold room,” I whisper to Noah, who grabs my arm and holds me tight.
“I don't have a good feeling about this,” he warns me.
“It won't take long. I want to take this chance. I have to.” I hold his insistent gaze resolutely and only with hesitation does he let go of my arm, after which I stroke him gratefully over the right cheek.
“I'll be back soon.”
Holding my breath, I make my way through the crowd to the bar and sit right up close to the vampire. Only two barstools separate us. Only now do I notice goosebumps spreading over my skin. Still, this time I'm not sure whether it's the typical warning signal my body gives me or if it's a psychosomatic reaction, thanks to knowing he's a vampire. If I didn't know better, I wouldn't have noticed him at all. He's not unattractive and reminds me a bit of an actor whose name I can't remember. He wears dark jeans with a white shirt which has a gray vest sewn onto it and a belt with a large B as the buckle. I wonder what the letter stands for? Big? I giggle softly to myself. Crap, if only I wasn't so nervous.
“What can I get you?” the barman asks, continuing to wash glasses behind the counter all the while.
“A vodka orange, please.” Oh, yes, I think I really need some Dutch courage. Especially since I have no idea how to start the conversation, but I'll think of something. I cast a glance over my left shoulder and try to make out Noah, but I can't see him anywhere.
“There you go, miss.” The barkeeper places my drink on the counter in front of me and this time even takes a moment to smile at me. I quickly fish a ten dollar bill out of my purse and am pushing it over to him when the dark voice of the mysterious vampire beside me rings out, “Leave it Jim, it can go on my tab.” In my fright, I almost spill some of the vodka orange I'm holding. I try not to let it show and take a quick gulp.
“Okay, Blake.” Jim pushes the tenner back to me and winks. Aha. B as in Blake. Well, that mystery is solved.
“Thanks.” I nod at him, smiling, as my heart almost leaps out of my chest, which is extremely annoying because he might be able to hear it. If I can register something like that, then it surely won't escape him.
“No worries.” He stands, comes over to me and sits down on the barstool right next to mine.
“I've never seen you here before,” he says.
“I was never here before.” My gaze falls on the many rings he is wearing. Hardly a finger is bare.
“And? What brings you here tonight?”
I have to gulp and quickly drink another sip of vodka. “To be honest – you,” I answer frankly, and I'm not sure whether that was brave or stupid.
“You come in with another man and make eyes at me? Are you a whore?”
Damn it, he saw me come in with Noah. “No, I'm just interested,” I try to look impassive.
“In drugs?”
“No.”
“Well, well, so you're interested in me then?” he sneers.
“In a way.” Oh God, what am I doing here and what kind of heinous interrogation is this? “I just want to talk,” I add quickly and clutch the vodka and my purse tight.
“You don't say.” He eyes me brazenly and with overt curiosity.
“Hey Jim, I'm going into the back room with my little friend here. See to it I'm not disturbed.”
“No problem, Blake,” answers Jim and casts me an indefinable look.
“If you want to talk, then come with me,” Blake says, and I throw back the last of my vodka, grab my purse and follow him with an uneasy feeling in my gut. He opens a door, which blends in almost perfectly to the wallpaper of the bar, and waves me into the back room with a gallant gesture. I hesitate a moment, but then follow him.
I notice with horror that he doesn't only close the door behind us, rather he also pushes across a bolt which is mounted there and comments, “We want to be sure our conversation won't be interrupted, don't we?”
>
He comes straight toward me and I back away a couple of steps, until my behind bumps into the desk in the middle of the room. Blake is now standing so close to me his body almost touches mine. It can only be a few inches separating us now. He's a whole head taller than me and his particular scent, like dry earth and wood with a slight sweetness to it, forces its way through a synthetic perfume and creeps into my nose. Indeed, he instantly awakens memories of my father, whose scent in my recollection may be somewhat different, but still very similar to Blake's. In spite of the positive association, I feel the animal in me taking on a tense stance, lying in wait.
“Out with it – who are you and what do you want from me? And don't give me any bullshit.”
“I know what you are,” I gasp.
“You don't say? What do you think you know, then?” He stares into my eyes with a smug grin, and I know without a doubt he is seeking out eye contact to get a link into my head and influence me, however he quickly realizes he can't control me. His eyes narrow to slits and I can practically see the cogs turning in his head.
“You're like my father – a vampire, and I have questions I'm searching for answers to.” Now it's out.
His expression is one of surprise, and he brings his face a little closer and sniffs me. “What kind of crap are you trying to pull? You've got no creator. If you were like me I'd know it. Who or what the hell are you?” His nostrils quiver.
I stick out my chin defiantly and look him right in the eye. “A half-blood. My mother was human.”
He hesitates a moment. “A bastard? A daywalker?” He laughs in my face. “There are no bastards. It's only a myth. We can't procreate. Dead matter, get it?”
Well, isn't that something? So Noah was right when he said I, too, was someone who shouldn't actually exist.
“If you're so clever, then tell me what you think I am,” comes my snappish reply.
In an instant his fangs burst out and his face unmasks his true being. For a moment I'm shocked. Less so by the deformed appearance than by the fact that he's basically a crass reflection of what is also within my father, my brother and me. A monster.
“We'll find that out when I have a little taste of you.” The sarcasm in his voice is unmistakable.
“I wouldn't if I were you. . .”
He doesn't even let me finish, grabbing me tight on my left upper arm and coming frighteningly close. My fangs immediately burst forth. Enraged, I free myself with a hefty punch from my right fist and push him back so hard he almost falls. But he flails his arms about to catch himself and looks at me in surprise, his head cocked to the side.
“Not bad, I wouldn't have thought you had such power in you. Nice bite. So you really aren't human.”
“Can we talk now?” I ask, without letting him out of my sight, since I'm no longer sure it was such a good idea to get to know him. What was I thinking? Isn't it a stupid, naïve undertaking after all? Did I really think he would take me aside all chummy-like and let me in on the secrets of vampires? Did I really think he could help me find my father?
All at once Noah's scent hits my nose. Is he here? In this room? Can Blake smell him too? Damn it, if anything happens to him again because of me, I'll never forgive myself.
“Go,” I hiss quietly into the room and notice how suspiciously Blake is now looking at me.
“What? A minute ago you wanted to talk,” he says in a harsh voice.
Sure, he must think I'm behaving pretty weird now.
“I've changed my mind. I think it's better if I go.” I turn to the door, but he's faster than me and blocks my way.
“Oh come on, it's just starting to get interesting. Maybe I've got a few questions for you too. If you're really a bastard, can you actually walk around in broad daylight then?”
“Yes.”
“The sun doesn't burn you?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Can I go now?”
Suddenly he hurls himself at me, pressing me up against the door. He presses his lower arm so hard on my throat I can barely breathe, and in spite of my powers I can't manage to push him off me this time. Without the element of surprise on my side he seems to be stronger.
“Did you really think I'd let a bastard like you just waltz out of here, so you can come back in the daytime and drive a stake into the heart of us pure-blooded vampires?”
“You're being paranoid,” I just managed to squeak out, because the pressure of his arm against my throat hadn't diminished a bit, rather it had increased. I would never have thought he'd see me as a threat.
“Let her go.” That is unmistakably Noah's voice.
Visibly shocked, Blake turns around in a fraction of a second, hurling me away from himself, purposefully casting me further into the room, and rushing just as quickly at him.
“Noah. No!” I cry out loudly and want to come to his aid, but he vanishes into thin air just in time and Blake crashes cursing into empty space.
“Who are you?” Full of hostility, he stares at Noah, who has appeared again behind him. Noah stares grimly back.
“Let her go first. Then you can ask questions.”
“Forget it,” growls Blake and positions himself in front of the door in a flash. “I think I know who you are – Noah.” He draws the name out mockingly and gives a smug grin. “You're on all the wanted posters in the underworld. Yes, I think it really is you. You're on the dark watchers' hit list. I've heard a lot about you, Ladykiller,” he goes on scornfully. In spite of his words, Noah's expression remains inscrutable, and I can't tell whether this information surprises or concerns him at all.
“Dark watchers?” The words escape my lips before I can stop them.
“Exactly, the pursuit fleet of Lucifer himself. If I were you, I'd keep my distance from him. Although, it really doesn't matter anymore.”
“If I were you, I'd let us out right now.” I've never heard Noah's voice so dark and menacing before.
“Alive? Never. This one here won't be leaving the room alive anyway. Letting her go is too risky. I'll rip her to shreds and devour her heart. And killing you, or handing you in, is going to get me a whole heap of cash. Man, they've been looking for you forever. You won't believe what it'll get me.” The words are barely out of his mouth when his face contorts in pain, he groans loudly and falls to his knees. White as chalk, he gasps for air like a fish out of water, leaning forward and digging his fingernails into the beige carpet.
I look from him to Noah in disbelief. Noah looks tense and is staring at him unwaveringly. But what's this? His eyes are positively glowing now, an unnatural turquoise color. Not blue and not green either. It's a fascinating, shimmering cyan.
“No. Stop!” Blake's voice is no more than a croak now. Completely incapacitated, he keels over and doesn't move anymore, vacant eyes staring at the ceiling.
“You've. . .” I can't finish the sentence, but Noah nods and stares at me searchingly. There it is again. The slight, yet to me quite noticeable uncertainty in his now once more deep blue eyes. The same uncertainty I already noticed during our conversation in the cabin at Lake Tahoe.
I freeze, and try to make sense of what just happened. Noah killed Blake within seconds. He didn't need a weapon to do it and didn't even have to touch him. He simply looked at him and he was dead. I don't know whether it's only temporary or not, but I know now it never was and never will be Noah who was in danger in my presence. I also realize he could easily have killed Airas when he attacked him, but he spared him for me.
Did he never mention it before, because he was worried I might fear and reject him? Maybe I'm not the only one who doesn't like showing their dark side.
“Is he going to wake up again?” I ask.
“We can't let him wake up again. You heard him. If he tells the others about you, you'll be the underworld's second most wanted, after me.”
“But why are the dark watchers hunting you too? It doesn't make sense. I thought it was only the guys upstairs who were looking for you, because no Nephilim were al
lowed to survive, let alone the son of one.”
“I can't tell you why dark watchers have hunted me time and again, nor why I'm right up there on their list. Maybe I should have asked him when he could still answer me.” He gestures to Blake. “But now we can't waste any more time. Here are the car keys. Please, go to the car discreetly. When I've taken care of him I'll follow.”
“Taken care of him? How?”
“I'll take him somewhere else and make sure he won't give us any more trouble.”
“Didn't you say you couldn't take anyone with you?”
“No living being. But right now he's dead, and we need to hurry because I don't know how long for.”
He looks at me and I suddenly feel the need to kiss him. To kiss him just like he kissed me before, in the little gas station restroom with the flickering light, when Frank lay dead on the ground, as Blake does now. I want to show him I'm not afraid of him, and nothing has changed because of what I saw. That nothing ever will change, because nothing can change my feelings for him and I feel so incredibly deeply connected with him. Now more than ever. Now that I finally really understand he too carries a darkness within him, like I do. I want to say it all to him, but I'm still in a daze and I can't manage to get the words out. So I try a smile, which comes out more like a grimace, turn to the door and leave the room.
I sit impatiently behind the wheel and wait. This time Noah isn't in the car before me, and I drum my fingers nervously on the steering wheel. A part of me wonders what exactly he'll do with Blake, but another part doesn't even want to know and suppresses the thought.
Again and again I glance across the street to the entrance of the 7SINS. Every so often people stream in and out, and nothing hints at what took place in the back room a few minutes ago.
“Are you looking for me?”
My head whips around to the backseat in surprise, and my gaze catches on his blue eyes which stare deep into mine as if to scrutinize my soul, before he climbs forward into the passenger seat. I smell blood on him and see two spots of blood on the back of his right hand too; the shape of them reminds me of the American continents. I give a little nod in answer and start the motor. I drive us home through the night in silence. Not once do I look over at him again, even though I can almost physically feel his gaze on me. Inside the house, too, I climb the stairs without a glance at him, past the many little lights next to the steps and the inbuilt nightlights on the walls, which Wilson normally switches on when he leaves the house in the evening and drives to his nearby apartment.
The Night Within Us: Dark Vampire Romance Page 15
