by Ben Miller
They loved the dolls so much, at one point I very nearly told my sisters it was me who had laid their presents out, not Father Christmas. But then I remembered what he had told me: when you give something, and you don’t tell anyone, the good feeling stays with you for ever. So I stayed quiet.
I felt so bad for tricking my mother and father the night before that when they came downstairs, the first thing I did was to give them both a big hug, even though I didn’t usually like that kind of thing because it made my skin itch. Once my sisters had shown them their presents, which by that point were mostly broken, I saw them go over to check the tray we’d left for Father Christmas by the fire.
‘Look, Jackson. The mince pie’s gone,’ said my mother.
‘And the brandy,’ added my father.
Sure enough, there were the crumbs from the mince pie, an empty brandy glass, and a missing carrot. I didn’t tell them about my adventure with Father Christmas, because I wasn’t sure that they’d believe me. But looking at the evidence, I knew it had to be true.
Acknowledgements
The first person I wish to thank is my super-talented wife Jessica Parker, who strongly encouraged me to begin a Christmas story. And the second is my super-dynamic agent Luigi Bonomi, who strongly encouraged me to finish it. Daniela Terrazzini is absurdly talented, and it has been a joy to see her bring these characters to life, while casting her own magic spell over the entire book. My sublimely gifted friends Ruth Jones, Alexander Armstrong, and Philip Ardagh were kind enough to read early drafts, and even kinder to supply incendiary quotes. And thanks also to the inimitable (trust me, I’ve tried to imitate him, and it’s impossible) Charles Dickens, who made some of the early running with A Christmas Carol.
I am blessed with a brilliant editor in Jane Griffiths. It was love at first re-write, and I am deeply grateful to her and the rest of the sublime Alex Maramenides’s crack team at Simon & Schuster for nurturing this book so protectively and believing in it so completely: to Jenny Richards for the stunning design; Sarah Macmillan, Eve Wersocki Morris, and Jade Westwood for their imaginative marketing and PR (and for building me my very own grotto); to Jenny Glencross and Leena Lane for their elevating copyedits and to Jane Pizzey for the proofread; to Laura Hough and the Sales team for their judicious matchmaking with only the most eligible of retail partners; and to Sophie Marchbank for the seamless and painstaking production of the book.
Thanks also to my luminously brilliant acting agent Samira Davies, and her equally luminous and equally brilliant assistants Lisa Stretton and Geri Spicer at Independent; you have been more than patient, in fact you have supportive from the get-go. And nothing would ever have got done without my unquestionably rockstar personal assistant, Tasha Brade.
But no Christmas story would ever get out of the blocks without the selfless dedication of one man in particular. Or to be more accurate, one elf in particular. Father Christmas, we thank you. Long may you reign. Come on, everyone’s allowed one pun.
First published in Great Britain in 2018 by Simon and Schuster UK Ltd
A CBS COMPANY
Text Copyright © Passion Projects Limited 2018
Illustrations Copyright © Daniela Jaglenka Terrazzini
This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.
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The right of Ben Miller and Daniela Jaglenka Terrazzini to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work retrospectively has been asserted by them in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Design and Patents Act, 1988.
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HB ISBN 978-1-4711-7153-6
eBook ISBN 978-1-4711-7155-0
Audio 978-1-4711-7696-8
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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