by Piper Malone
“No,” she tosses over her shoulder, “he ate. I had coffee.”
“But you met him out? The two of you sat down and talked?”
“Yes.” She turns to face me in the middle of her room, a clenched fist resting on her hip. “Is there a problem?”
“How did you get his number?”
“He gave it to me.”
“When.” The word drags, heavy with anger.
“At the wedding,” she mumbles.
“Why?” I can’t look at her. I’m ready to fucking blow. The wedding where I did nothing but focus on getting her close to me, and she was making plans with Ax. If she thinks I’m a handful when it comes to kink, she’s chatting up the king of sadists.
She bites the pad of her thumb, eyes trained on me as she rocks from foot to foot. Either I’ve made her very nervous or she’s going to punch me in the face. “Can you tell me why you’re so angry?”
“Why did he give you his number?” I demand.
Kat examines her bare feet sinking into the plush carpet, her head shaking in resignation. “I put my foot in my mouth at the wedding and he said if I didn’t educate myself I was going to be on the asshole list.”
I feel the pressure of my jaw grinding my teeth to dust as tremors of rage pound against my spine. “How is he educating you?”
Her head snaps up, crystal-blue eyes narrowing. “What kind of question is that?”
“A valid one if I’m standing here learning for the first time that my girlfriend is having meetings with another Dom without my knowledge!”
“I met him at a diner and we talked!” Her voice is caustic.
“And then what?”
“And then I went home and tried to figure out all the ways I could fuck everyone in downtown Boston!” She pauses for me to absorb her exaggerated statement. When I don’t respond quickly enough, she continues. “What the hell do you think happened, Blake? I went home and thought about what he said.”
“Why are you asking him for help and not me?”
“Are you really that dumb?” She looks at me like I’m crazy. Maybe I am. “Because I don’t want to get naked with him, Blake! I can’t talk to you about that stuff because you,” she waves her hands around her head, “scramble everything and we always end up in bed.” She lets a frustrated yell slip out before she starts taking long strides around the room. “Okay,” she stops and takes a deep breath, “I should have told you I was talking to him. In Ax’s defense, he told me I should tell you. But I’m trying to not be an idiot about what you need from me and you think I’m sleeping with him?” She puts her hands on her hips, her head shaking in disbelief. “That’s a shit move, Blake. I thought we would be better than that kind of crap.” She sniffs and turns her back to me, making her way to the window.
If her words didn’t rip me apart, her anguish is enough to destroy me. She’s trying and I’m forgetting that all of this is new to her. She seems so confident, I forget that Kat is on a learning curve. It soothes the part of me that worries she won’t take kink seriously. I’m glad she wants to talk. I just would have preferred her discussions be with Caleb.
“Look, Blake,” she says, her nose stuffy from her emotion, “I need you to be patient with me on this. I don’t know what I’m doing and I get that you want to move forward, but I’m still trying to understand. Talking to you about this is weird because I have feelings for you and I can’t have them cloud my brain.” She pauses, looking at the ceiling before wiping her eyes. Her blue eyes shimmer with tears when she finally looks at me. “Ax is way too rough, Blake. He pushes me to think more than he offers any comfort.” She shakes her head, her mouth twisted with emotion. “I’m pretty sure he wants the waitress as much as she wants him. He’s never even offered me a handshake.”
Her words floor me. “You have feelings for me?”
“Don’t get your flagpole up, Blaze,” she snaps, her wobbly voice softening the jab slightly. “You need to apologize. You throw Dane in my face, and I get that, but not Ax.” She waves a finger as she swallows down her emotion. “That’s not cool. I get that I should have told you, and I’m sorry I didn’t, but I didn’t know how. We’re just talking. I know you have female friends. I won’t be held to a different standard.”
I think on any other day, she would have decked me. Feeling her knuckles against my face would feel better than this. “I’m sorry, doll.” The fact that she recognizes differences between Ax and me is good. I can’t wrap my brain about Kat being with anyone else. “I get a little possessive.”
“A little?” she snorts. “I don’t care if you want me to yourself but don’t accuse me of sleeping with other people because you’re insecure.”
“I’m not insecure,” I counter.
“Then why do you care that Ax is texting me?”
“I don’t care about the text. When I find out my girl is out with another man and neither one of them told me about it, I get concerned.”
“There is nothing to be worried about, Blaze. You have me.” She grabs a pair of jeans from her closet and pulls them on. In moments, she’s in sneakers and her hair is pulled up in a loose bun. When she grabs a heavy sweater, my stomach hits the floor.
“Where are you going?”
“I was going to swing by Fenway to see if any of the Sox wanted to take advantage of my stellar oral skills.”
“Doll, c’mon…”
“I know we are working on trust and communicating and all that stuff, but you need to believe that I’m trying, even if it’s not conventional or by the books. I am working to understand something that scares me a little. I’m trying to weigh what I feel for you with what I need to learn. I’m terrified to think that I don’t have the strength to be everything you need and what that will ultimately mean for us.”
“Are you saying you’re worried we won’t last because you can’t wrap your head around BDSM? You have no idea what you’re saying, Kat.”
“You’re right, Blake, I don’t. I need to figure it out. There needs to be a clear understanding that we may not work out if I can’t get on board with this. Don’t deny that truth. I need him because he’s neutral. Reagan and Caleb are biased. You and I end up in bed. You know full well Nick is out of commission, so who does that leave me with?” She doesn’t give me time to develop an answer. She must know that I don’t have one. “Ax has the amazing ability to call me a shithead without yelling at me. He confronts me without making me defensive. You saw one text and blew your top.”
She pulls the sweater over her head and walks past me out of the bedroom. Every soft footstep is a sledgehammer to the sternum. “Please lock the door when you leave. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says before walking out the door and pulling it shut with a mighty force.
Forty-five minutes, and two cups of coffee later, I think I understand the fight.
Did I lose my shit? Yes.
Did she keep her relationship with Ax a secret? Yes.
Does that give me the right to be pissed? Yup.
I love that Kat is willing to have a conversation for us. The fact that the discussion is not with me still burns. Ax is a ladies’ man. Sure, he’s a gruff bastard but he’s smooth. I’ve seen him wrap up more than a few women who started out hesitant and then sent them into outer space.
That motherfucker needs to keep his hands off her.
I slug down another cup of inky brew and plan out the text I’m going to fire off to Ax. It’ll be simple. To the point. It will clearly indicate to him the level of professionalism he needs to execute when talking with my doll.
Asshole. I know you’re meeting with my girl. Keep your conversations hands-free. Don’t give me the pleasure of kicking your ass.
My satisfaction is short lived when my phone rings with a return text.
Dickless. I know she’s yours. Don’t waste my time with an e-piss to mark your territory. Fuck off.
Before I can punch out a response, my phone registers another message. Ready for more action, I bring up the text
.
Sir, can we talk?
I blink at the screen, trying to figure out what I’m seeing. An unknown number decorates the top of the message in an empty in-box. I’ve never received any communication from this person before.
A second message pops up below the first:
I need your help. Please.
None of the subs at Reign have my personal number; it’s policy to do everything through the front desk. Who is texting me?
Tell me your name, girl.
I watch the bubbles dance around on the screen indicating the other person is typing.
Skyler.
Chapter 20
Kat
I can see the headline now: Man Murdered at Walter’s, Muffin Lodged in Throat.
It’s a shame that an innocent bystander is flirting with the target. She might be cute, and giving him all the signals, but Reese might perish in the wake of my fury.
As I make my way through the diner, I see their interaction. Ax smiles, an encouraging hand reaches out to her, gently touching the bend of her elbow. She simpers, her knees giving slightly.
The rage settles into a tense calm. I pause, watching them engage each other. I almost fall over when they laugh. I didn’t think Ax had the ability to smile. He’s all concrete and menacing storm clouds. They do look nice together.
The gushy feeling of cuteness is kicked into the dark recesses of my soul. He made a concerted effort to put me in a bad situation and now he’s going to get me full tilt.
I sidle up to the booth, leaning on the back of the open bench so they both see me. The warm emotions that brightened his face cool the instant he sees me.
“Hello, Kat,” he says with caution. He knows what he did and that I’m here to tell him he’s a douche.
“Hey, bro!” I counter before turning to Reese. “Hi, Reese. Weren’t you our waitress last time?”
“Yes.” She nods, happy to have been remembered. “I’m here a lot so I get the chance to know my customers.”
“That must be nice,” I purr.
“Yes,” she says brightly, “it’s nice. I don’t get to see my family often but Ryan is here every day, so that’s nice.”
My eyes light up. So Reese gets the pleasure of calling Ax by his real name. Interesting…
“Wow,” it’s a struggle to keep myself from lunging over the booth at him, “not many people get the pleasure of calling Ryan by his given name. You must be very special, Reese.”
“That’s enough, Kat,” he warns. His tone restrained but he’s clearly irritated.
Ignoring him, I settle into the booth and focus on Reese. “So, you’ve worked here for a while?”
“Oh, yes.” She lights up with brilliant excitement, “I’m the in-house baker. I make everything. That’s why I’m always here in the morning when Ryan comes in. He loves the breakfast pastries when they are right out of the oven.”
“Yes, he does love things that come when they’re hot.” I pass a glance at Ax, his shoulders bunched in irritation.
“Are you going to order something, Kat?” His words are pushed through gritted teeth.
“Do you have muffins, Reese?” I press on.
“Yes, just about any kind of muffin you would like, I make.” She pauses, tucks her notepad under her arm, and begins rattling off all the flavors of her baked goods. “I have banana nut, blueberry, carrot, corn, pineapple, chocolate chip. Oh, and Ryan,” she turns to him, “pumpkin. I make pumpkin in the fall.”
This girl wants to rub her muffin all over Ax. And from his appreciative response, he seems just fine with that prospect.
“Wow! That is an impressive menu, Reese. I’ll have a banana-nut muffin, please. Are you able to warm up my muffin for me?”
“Oh, of course!” She quickly scratches my order on her notepad.
“Great. I love it when nuts are warm.” I level a glare at Ax, who responds in kind. “Do you, Reese?”
Completely unaware, blissfully innocent, she responds, “Yes, when nuts are hot they just melt in your mouth.”
“Very true!” I confirm barely containing my laugher. Ax rolls his eyes, brows brushing his hairline. “How about dumplings, Reese? You make apple dumplings?”
“Oh yes!” she chirps. She’s so excited to talk about her baking, Reese has no clue that Ax is boiling from the inside out, his cheeks flushed with a violent shade of crimson. “…and there’s a pastry school back home that has graduated grand champion bakers three years in a row. It’s an exclusive school, but I’d love to go,” she says with a dreamy look on her face. “I’d work on perfecting the dumpling. It’s one of my favorite things to make.”
“Dumplings are Ryan’s favorite, too.” Ax and I hold each other’s glare, warriors poised to fight. “I bet if you served up your dumpling nice and hot, he’d take a huge bite.”
When I hear her breath catch and she fumbles her pen, I know my work is done.
“I’ll have a coffee, too.” I toss her a quick look, topped off with a tight smile. “Thank you, Reese, for making sure my brother is so satisfied.”
“Sure, of course.” She darts away, fiddling with her long ponytail, her lower lip caught in her teeth.
“What the fuck was that all about?” Ax growls, his big body leaning into the table.
I lean back, hands folded on my lap, satisfied that he experienced discomfort this morning also. “That was payback for sending that text. We had a wonderful night and I woke up having to defend our virtues after Blake saw your message.” I thank Reese for the cup of coffee she throws on the table as she skitters by. “He got crazy possessive and accused me of training with you.”
“Well, if you would communicate with him you wouldn’t have these issues.”
“I don’t understand why I can’t talk to you and figure this out?” I say, generously pouring sugar into the motor oil they pass as coffee.
“Because everyone needs to be on the same page, Kat. Openness is key.”
“Thanks for being my conscience, Jiminy Kink-et. I know you might be focused on making sure I’m doing everything right but I don’t like being accused of cheating.”
“What?” His response is genuine. I don’t think he realized how much upheaval one sentence could cause.
“Yeah, Ax,” I can’t stop the sarcasm from tainting the words, “guys don’t take it lightly when their girlfriend is being texted by another guy asking when he’s going to see her again. Thanks for ruining what could have been a wonderful morning.”
“What happened?”
“We fought. I cried. I left.”
Ax has the decency to look embarrassed. “How did you leave it?”
The weight of the words hover between us as Reese serves our food. I’m so wrapped in the pain caused by Blake’s accusations, I don’t have the heart to do anything more than thank her. And the golden dumpling she slides in front of Ax looks delicious.
“It’s fine,” I finally say. “I got caught on the idea that he didn’t trust me or that talking to you meant that I was cheating. I have some crappy stuff in my head that floats around when I am stressed or overwhelmed. When he got upset so quickly and started asking questions that I thought had a simple answer, it kicked up my shit.”
“What kind of crap?”
I don’t have the strength to rehash all the garbage. It will be tough enough for me to tell Blake. “A lot of name-calling about my perceived sexuality.”
“So, someone called you a slut?”
“Some of my extended family.” I admit, thinking that I just stepped in the mud. Now Ax knows more about my dirty laundry than Blake does. I’m sure I’ll be reprimanded for that, too.
“That’s not family, Kat,” he growls. “I don’t care what or who you did or didn’t do.”
While I can appreciate the support, I can’t do touchy-feely with Ax right now. He’s on the shit list, too. “I felt like we had an understanding. I thought it was safe to take my time and talk to you so I could figure out my feelings.”
&nb
sp; “I didn’t know that was the deal, Kat.” He pauses, looks around the sparsely populated diner. “What did you tell him?”
“That you put your face up my skirt for hours at a time.” When his mouth drops open with shock, I finally feel light enough to laugh. “I’m kidding! He knows that you are neutral for me. He was angry that I didn’t go to him for guidance. When I pointed out that he and I can’t talk about sex without having sex, he shut up.”
“So, is that why you keep calling me your brother?”
“No, dingbat, that’s for Reese. If you can’t see she’s smitten with your affinity for her baked goods, you’re blind.” I take a sip of my coffee, the bitter flavor making me cringe. “Are you going to put your warm nuts in her mouth or not?”
He sputters, vowel sounds falling on the table as he tries to defend himself. I lift a hand to dismiss his weak attempt. “It’s okay, Ax, I don’t need an answer. Can we just regroup and move forward? I have to set up stuff in Room One next week for Reagan. They will be back before we know it.” I miss Reagan so much but part of me wonders what it will feel like to have her back. While it won’t be anything overly dramatic, our lives will be different now.
Newlyweds don’t always hang out with their single girlfriends. I wince at the thought; I’m not single. Which isn’t a bad thing but I’ve always been single in some way. I’ve had lovers but I’ve always done my own thing. Now I’m committed to a man I’m not sure will ever truly be happy with me because I can’t even give him the courtesy of trying his kink without engaging in a full-blown investigation. My thoughts battle in an endless war. Will he want me if I can’t give myself over to him? Do I want to try? What if I give him too much and I end up like my aunt? What if I fail him and he’s ashamed of me?
“You look like you have a shit-ton of stuff in that head, Kat.” Ax muses as he lifts the mug of black coffee to his mouth. “Talk to me.”
“Why me?”
“Why does he like you?” he questions, before snorting and rolling his eyes. “I haven’t got a clue.”
