by Farrah Paige
What I suspected was true. Like an artist baking her goods, she was an artist with her vagina. I was just the poor assistant to her DaVinci mastery, enjoying it all as she created her orgasmic masterpiece. With every ounce of my being spent, I rolled onto my back and next to her. We spooned in the sweat of our lovemaking. Silent and satisfied.
Chapter 13
Honey
After an hour of laying bed together, we both thought it best that Ethan left before anyone saw him. He grabbed a quick shower and I picked up the clothes. Most of the clothes seemed pretty salvageable, but I didn’t have a needle and thread to do anything to put the buttons back on. Ethan came out of the shower and got dressed, taking the clothes that I had carefully folded for him and putting them back on. He put on the shirt and there was no way to close it.
“Sorry about that,” I said. “I got carried away.
“It is fine,” he said kissing me. “It is late and I’m sure the Uber driver will not care. I will see you tomorrow and don’t worry about Rita. If need be I will strangle the bitch with my bare hands.”
I laughed at his dark sense of humor. He smiled.
“Ah, Rita’s not a bad person,” he said. “Ultimately, television is just a fight for attention. Rita is an attention addict. It’ll never be enough for her, I’m afraid.”
“I just want the show to be done,” I admitted.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ve got your back.”
Ethan left, and I flopped down on the bed in the hotel robe. What have I done? Now I’ve slept with both judges on a competition show. There was no denying it now. I mean, there was some plausible deniability with Ethan before, but not anymore.
Both of them think that I’m in love with just them. But I can’t choose. Who could choose between two amazing, handsome and talented guys? They were both so perfect. And God! Would their careers be ruined if the press found out? I mean, if the general public found out I slept with the judges, they’d never believe I won the show fairly.
I texted Emma to come to my room and that I was crying. I was tearing up, but I wasn’t full blown crying yet. A few seconds later, she knocked on my door and I let her in.
“Hey-hey, what’s wrong?” she asked.
“Oh, God, Emma,” I cried. “I ruined this entire thing.”
“What? What are you talking about? You’re winning the competition. The guys on the other teams can’t touch you,” she said incredulous.
“No. I slept with Clark and now Ethan,” I cried. “He just left.”
“You slept with both judges?!” she asked shocked.
“Yes,” I said embarrassed.
“Wow, you’re my hero,” she smiled.
“Please, this is serious,” I said. “If the show finds out that I slept with them, I’m ruined.”
“So, we leave Los Angeles,” she said. “Quit the show. You’re breaking my heart, but I understand.”
“I can’t!” I cried. “Steven is blackmailing me to be on the show. He bought the plaza where Honey’s Buns is located. He said if I left the competition, he’d drive me out of the plaza.”
“Ooo, that’s not good,” she realized. “That would kill all that business you built up. You’d have to start over.”
“I know,” I cried. “I don’t know what to do.”
She hugged me, and I cried in her arms for a little bit. Fortunately, a hug from Emma kind of calmed me down. I was ready to compose myself. She got me the box of tissues from the bathroom, I blew my nose and slowed my breathing to normal rates again.
“Okay, nice and calm,” she said. “You and I are going to discuss this rationally and we’re going to figure this out.”
“I don’t see any way out,” I said pessimistically.
“Well, no one’s found out about yet,” she shrugged. “And so what if they do?”
“I’ll be disqualified,” I said. “Isn’t that fraud?”
“It’s a TV show,” she scoffed. “It’s just entertainment. Studios get around that kind of thing all the time on reality shows.”
“They can’t fake it that much,” I said. “Can they?”
“Oh, God, yes,” assured Emma. “All that drama on shows like the Jersey Shore and Big Brother? It’s orchestrated. You don’t think they do the same things on these cooking shows? I mean, Baker Battles is a pretty big show, but only on the Food Channel. Half the country can’t even see it.”
“But you and I have both seen it,” I pointed out. “It must have an audience.”
“Yeah, people who are really into food like you and me,” I said. “I mean, I knew who Clark and Ethan were, but I guarantee you that few of my friends back home wouldn’t know. If they faked the whole thing, it wouldn’t be illegal. And if the whole world found out, most people wouldn’t care.”
“I’ll bet Steven would care,” I said. “If the show looks bad, he’ll be angry. And if we get exposed, it makes the show look bad.”
“They’ll just shoot something different and fix it like they did today,” dismissed Emma.
“Up to a point they can do it,” I conceded. “But after a while, they can’t fix it without it looking stupid. Steven wants that authentic look. He’s the producer. He told me I couldn’t throw the competition just to get off the show. He’d be able to see it if I did. He’d know.”
“He’s not God, Honey.”
“Yeah, but he works in reality TV,” I said. “Those guys are attuned to what looks real and what doesn’t. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have a hit show on his hands.”
“Look, you’re immunized anyway,” she said. “The chefs don’t know who made what until after they eat. Doesn’t matter if you slept with both of them.”
“But it looks bad,” I insisted.
“I agree that the optics are horrible,” she conceded. “But when cooler heads prevail, people will realize that it doesn’t matter.”
“Cooler heads? Once the Internet gets a hold of this, I’m screwed. I’ll be a meme,” I insisted. “Plus, I have a bigger problem.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t know which one I should be with,” I said. “You don’t know how lonely I’ve been and now to have two great guys fall into my lap like this, the temptation was just too great and now I’ve slept with both of them.”
“Hmm, that is tough,” she said. “Which one did you sleep with first? Ethan?”
“Well, we hadn’t gone all the way,” I admitted. “Then I had sex with Clark on the set---“
“Honey!” giggled Emma, gasping. “You’re a wild woman.”
“I shouldn’t have done it,” I regretted.
“No, you go girl,” she said. “How was it? Tell me. Honestly.”
I looked away embarrassed for a moment, but then I figured why not come clean?
“It was so great,” I admitted. “He was so hot, and we started doing stuff with food---“
“Like Seven and a Half Weeks. That movie,” remembered Emma.
“How do you know that movie? That’s old,” I said.
“I kind of have a weird crush on old Mickey Rourke,” admitted Emma. “That sounds really hot though.”
“I couldn’t believe it, actually,” I said. “I just, I don’t know, something’s awakened inside me. I feel all this sexual energy around me. Then after Ethan saved me on the show, I was just so attracted to him. I invited him up and we fucked so good.”
“You shouldn’t be ashamed of any of this,” insisted Emma. “You’re having the life that any woman in your position would dream about. Two handsome, successful and talented men fighting over you? Outside and inside the bedroom? Why shouldn’t you enjoy that? Men do it all the time.”
“I know, but I feel like I’m leading one of them on,” I said weakly.
“Do you have any deal with either one of them?” she asked.
“Deal? You mean like a relationship? Not really, I guess.”
“So basically, you’re just dating them both, right?” she asked.
“
Yeah, I am kinda I guess…”
“They don’t own you. You can do what you want. As long as you’re open and honest with both of them,” she said. “What else do you owe them?”
“But I slept with Ethan after Clark,” I pointed out.
“After you messed around with Ethan and they were both fighting over you. They clearly won’t be surprised when they find out they both had sex with you, right?” said Emma.
“That’s true,” I admitted. “I mean, they’d be naïve to think that.”
“And they’re both grown men. I think adults can deal with that,” she said. “Besides, you all went out sightseeing that day.”
“Sightseeing’s a little different from fucking them both, but I see your point,” I confessed. “I just feel a little slimy about it all.”
“I envy you, right now,” said Emma. “No offense, but I would totally fuck both those guys. They are both hot and I don’t see any reason why I wouldn’t if I got the chance.”
I gave Emma a look.
“Not that I would now, knowing what I know, of course,” she said backing off. “I’m just saying, you only live once. This is a great opportunity. Ride it out. See where it goes.”
“But I could lose both of them,” I worried.
“Maybe you would have anyway,” she theorized. “Maybe they’re only caught up in you because you’re on the show and they’ll move onto the next girl after it’s over. Maybe they are both volatile personalities that would bound to be problematic in the future anyway. A lot can happen. Stop worrying about the future and think about the now.”
“I don’t know…” I muttered.
“Honey, you’re winning the Baker Battles,” she pointed out. “If you win, your store will be on the map. We’ll both be on the map. You’ll be a winning chef and I’ll be the second best thing, which is the assistant of a winning chef. This win is so close. Don’t throw it away now.”
“But the guys I don’t want to hurt them,” she said.
“I’ll promise you, I’ll bang whoever you throw overboard on the rebound if it’ll make you feel better,” she joked. “And I’m only half joking when I say that.”
“Okay, fine, we’ll stay,” I agreed. “I guess I owe it to myself to ride this thing out.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to be on your deathbed thinking about what might have been,” joked Emma. “You wanna be on your deathbed talking about how you banged two guys.”
I laughed despite myself. Emma was good at cheering me up. She wasn’t just an employee. She was really a good friend. I needed to stay, not just for me, but for her. We could both walk away with careers and money and if I was careful, I might walk away with a really good relationship as well.
Emma gave me one last hug and went back to her room. I cleaned up the disaster of the hotel room. I didn’t want the maids to find a giant mess. It would make me embarrassed. Tomorrow, I would move forward with the competition. At this point, I think I could really win this thing.
Did I want Clark or Ethan? Ethan was worldly and urbane, but Clark was more genuine and felt like a local boy. In some sense, together they had the elements of a perfect match for me. What one had too much of, the other could temper and vice versa. For a moment, I imagined them both with me.
I didn’t see how that was possible. Clark and Ethan fought all the time and basically hated each other. Maybe if I stayed in L.A. and they both continued to date me with the other knowing, but how long could that last?
They were running neck in neck on who would be my next boyfriend. Right now, I gave the edge to Ethan, but tomorrow was another day. At some point, I would have to choose between the chefs or walk away from them forever. It’s a shame that my life wasn’t a reality show, then I could rewrite and fake the ending however I like.
When I slept that night, I imagined Ethan’s sweet kisses and then Clark’s. I couldn’t get either one of them out of my mind.
Chapter 14
Clark
We were in the fourth day of the competition and the pastry item was strudel. Ha. Honey was going to win this one easily. My God, this was a total gimme. Unfortunately, when I got to the set, Rita was stomping around in a foul mood.
“Hey, what gives with you?” I asked as I walked by her make up chair.
“What gives with me? Thanks to Ms. Innocent out there, Twitter is talking about what a shitty person I am for stopping the show and doing another take,” she snapped. “Now the studio is talking to my agent and considering renegotiating my contract.”
“Oh, shit, I’m sorry, Rita,” I said. “But look, don’t worry. I know Ethan said some things, but we both want you as host for the show.”
“As if your opinions mean dick-all,” she scoffed.
“Hey, I’m in pretty good with Steven and he is the producer,” I pointed out.
“God, you don’t see it, do you?” she laughed. “It’s amazing how blind you are sometimes.”
“Blind about what?” I asked. “Ethan and I have been on the show since its inception. They’re not going to get rid of us.”
“Oh, no? I was on another reality show where I was host called Build a Better Boat,” she explained. “It was a fix-up-a-boat show. The contestant would refurbish an old boat, then we’d talk about it. The creator of the show, who was one of the boat repair guys on the show, got fired from it. He got fired from his own show.”
“This is a little different---“
“No. No, it isn’t. This is television. And if there were millions of dollars at stake, you’d understand that. But since there are only thousands of dollars at stake, it’s even more vicious because the stakes are lower,” she explained. “Listen here, I’m not letting some amateur cook from wherever hurt my career. And if you had any sense, you’d stop making goo-goo eyes at her and do your job.”
Oh, shit. She knows. I’ve been so stupid. Women have a sixth sense about these things. She may not know all the pertinent facts yet, but it’s just a matter of time before she puts the pieces together. This is bad. This is very bad.
Rita walked away. She smiled a little, but it wasn’t a good smile. It was a “I know your secret now” smile. I had to tell Ethan. If that idiot gave us away it would only make it worse.
The show got started and the contestants were now making strudel. With the cameras focusing on Rita and the cooks, I decided to finally tell him.
“Ethan, listen,” I said in a low voice. “I think Rita knows something’s up between me and Honey. We’ve got to cool things down.”
“Cool things down?” he said scoffing. “Oh, no my friend. It’s far too late for that.”
“Seriously, dude, you need to back off,” I insisted. “Honey and I are together now anyway.”
“And why do you say that?” he laughed.
“Because Honey and I already had sex, if you must know,” I revealed. “It’s over, I won.”
“I had sex with her last night,” revealed Ethan.
“You’re full of shit,” I said roughly turning him around to face me.
“Get off of me!” he snapped
And that was it. As much as I tried to be subtle and polite to that asshole, we were both really into Honey. I guess the jealousy won out because the next thing I knew, we were shoving each other.
“You don’t deserve her,” insisted Ethan. “And I saw her first.”
“What are you? In high school? I am going to bash your face in, you baguette eating piece of shit,” I snapped.
Ethan tried to punch me, but only managed to graze my torso, by now I had pushed him roughly against the judge’s counter. The resulting impact moved our microphones and alerted all the chefs and Rita that something was going on. This time, Ethan pushed back hard, and I staggered back, blundering into one of the studio cameras.
“What’s going on?” asked one of the chefs.
“Oh, no,” Honey said in horror.
Rita folded her arms and smiled. This couldn’t have worked out better for her. Best case scenario, we
both got fired and she became the senior member of the staff. The only person on the show the studio kept, which meant she’d basically be the face of the show.
Getting to my feet, I lunged to tackle Ethan, but a group of the crew guys grabbed us to keep us from fighting.
“Okay, guys stop,” said the director. “We’re going to take five so everyone can cool off. Let’s have our judges waiting in separate rooms please.”
Production was stalled for nearly three hours. I waited in my dressing room drinking a bottle of water. Steven came in.
“Hey, babe, what’s going on out there? You lost your cool, huh?”
“Look, Steven, I’m sorry. That guy Ethan just---“
“Hey, say no more,” dismissed Steven. “You don’t have to tell me. You should hear the stuff he said about you when I talked to him. The guy hates you, clearly. But we have to get this show done, okay. We can’t have these outbursts on the set. Time is money.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry,” I apologized. “It won’t happen again.”
“We’re just going to have you guys try the strudel and do your bit in separate shots. We’ll cut it together and it’ll be fine,” assured Steven. “But level head from now on.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
We shot the ending of the show. It was weird doing my wrap up without Ethan, but we both picked Honey’s pastries again. Her strudel was the winner. It was pretty amazing. Normally one of the other chefs would’ve eeked out a win. I mean, I kind of couldn’t believe it myself. She had three wins in a row.
But as soon as the shooting was done, I had to confront Honey. She had to choose between me and Ethan at this point. I mean, how could we sustain this? The whole situation was liable to tear the show apart.
***
Hours later, in front of her hotel, I got out of my Uber just as Ethan did.
“Come to finish what you started, eh?” he asked threateningly.
“No, I’ve come to get Honey to admit, she’s with me,” I announced.
