by Andy Gallo
“Please.” Jack rolled his eyes. “Twenty yards to a stationary target? Piece of cake.”
He stepped back and fired a perfect strike into Ed’s hands.
“You have good hands when I throw at you, but can you catch it on the run?”
“Is that a challenge?”
You’re the one who said you were a tight end. Jack squeezed his lips taut and took a breath. “Let’s see what you got.”
Pointing to the path around the side of the house, he said, “You’re on.”
Their toss and catch brought several neighbors out to watch. A pair of teenagers from a few houses down shuffled over, inserting themselves into the action.
“How d’you know Ed?” one of them asked Jack.
He tightened his hold on the ball. “We’re friends.”
“How come we haven’t seen you around before? Are you in one of his business classes?”
Jack tossed the ball to Gene, who lobbed it to Ed. How was he supposed to answer this kid’s questions?
The ball came spiraling back, and Jack leaped in front of the teen and caught it. “Gotta keep your eyes on the prize, man.”
That got the boy off his back.
Jack threw a few routes before Mrs. Knowles called them to dinner.
Jack smiled to Ed as Gene led them inside. He inched nearer and whispered close to Ed’s ear, “You do have good hands.”
Ed’s brow arched with a promise. God, Jack wanted to grab him into a kiss. “Did you doubt me?”
Ed jumped, surprised Gene was still there, holding the door open for them. With another step, Ed put decent space between them.
Gene frowned at Ed’s move, gaze sweeping between the two of them. Jack felt like sinking into the ground, but somehow managed to plaster on an innocent smile.
Emily appeared with a hop in her step. “Wash up. Dinner’s almost ready.”
After washing up, they moved to the kitchen.
“Where’s Becky?” Ed asked his mom.
“Her room, she’ll be down.”
“Maybe you should text her,” Ed joked, earning a swat with a hand towel.
“Don’t encourage her.” She handed Jack a bowl of potatoes, giving the green beans to Ed. “Put these on the table and sit.”
Jack spared a glance at Gene, who was cutting the meat, roast beef if his sense of smell hadn’t failed him. His stomach clenched, and his hands trembled around the bowl. He knew what happened next.
They sat and joked around the table. Then Mom and Dad fought over what island they were going to sail to the next day. Jack made a halfhearted effort to get them to stay home and go surfing. They agreed to each do their own thing. After lunch the next day, the last thing Jack heard as they headed out into the gray afternoon was a “You’re missing out, kid,” trailing down the hall.
The room started to spin, and bile lurched toward his mouth. Unable to control it, tears stung his eyes. Ed carefully took the bowl, dropped it on the table, and turned back to him.
“Jack?” Warm hands were on his shoulders, but Jack couldn’t stop shaking. “Are you okay?”
Those last three words shattered his fragile control. “Excuse me.” Jack fled toward the front door.
Ignoring Ed’s urgent call of his name, he made it as far as the front stoop before tears blurred his vision. Plunking down on the steps, he covered his face with a hand, trying to breathe.
“Jack?” Ed sat next to him. “What happened?”
Memories flooded his thoughts. Fuck. He couldn’t stop the sobs. Somewhere in the background, he felt the Knowleses hovering, watching.
Bearing down, he willed himself to get control. A sniff later, he wished he could leave. He swallowed twice, then exhaled. “The night before my parents died, we had a big dinner just like this. It….” Wiping his eyes, he sniffed again. “It suddenly felt just like that night.”
He struggled to breathe again. Tried to ignore the pain of knowing he’d never get to bring anyone home to meet his parents. Just like Harper had said.
“God.” He refused to look at Ed. “I’m so sorry. Wonderful first impression I’m giving your family. Tell them your friend has issues.”
Feet shuffled behind him. Great, they heard even that.
“It’s okay,” Ed said quietly. “They think you’re great.”
“We should go in.” Jack stood up, wiping his face with his hands. “Dinner’s gonna get cold.”
Bad enough he lost it in front of everyone. He didn’t want to add ruining their dinner to the list of stupid things he did today.
Ed pushed to his feet, concern pinched between his brow. He rocked on his feet like he wanted to embrace Jack again. He stuffed his thumbs into his belt loops instead. “You sure you’re okay?”
His vigorous nod was as much for himself as Ed. “One part of me wants to leave, but the rest of me needs to stay. If you still want me to?”
Ed rocked on the balls of his feet again, this time tugging Jack against his chest. Warm hands held his waist and the back of his neck. Ed’s thumb moved in circles at the edge of his hair.
They were alone at the front door, but this time no creaky step would keep them from being discovered.
Breath shuddering, Ed leaned in and lightly kissed Jack. “I want you to stay.”
Chapter Twelve
“Marcus didn’t come home till two in the morning?” Brittany pulled an onion out of her sandwich and set the thin white strand on the paper wrapping.
“Yeah, and when I asked him where he’d been, he said he’d been studying,”
“Studying? That late on a Saturday?”
Jack finished chewing and put his hoagie down. “Right? Even he isn’t that bad.”
“Do you think he’s jealous?” She covered her mouth after spraying bits of bread and turkey onto Jack’s lunch. “Sorry.”
He rolled his eyes and flicked off the crumbs. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Do you think he’s jealous?”
“Of what? Me? Please. Marcus isn’t into guys. He’s so not jealous.”
Brittany smacked his arm. “No, doofus. Not jealous you have Ed, but that you’re dating someone. Let’s face it, he’s been your wingman for years. Now you have a new one—even if it’s a guy you’re dating.”
Taking a bite, he used the few seconds to think about what she’d said. Marcus was protective, but he encouraged Jack. “This wasn’t him being jealous, more like he was hiding something.”
“Okay, enough about Mr. Uptight. Tell me about your night.”
“My night.” Without meaning to, he let out a sigh. “It was amazing, fucked-up, wonderful, and frustrating. How about you? You and Seth have fun?”
“Yes, we did.” From the way she glared at him, he knew his attempt to divert her didn’t work. “But we’re talking you and Ed first. How’d your night turn into all those at once?”
“Which part do you want first?”
“All of it.” She put her chin in her palms and rested her elbows on the table. “So what happened?”
“Let’s see, his parents are really nice, he and his dad have a man cave in the basement, the top three stairs creak, which let us kiss, but not much more, I had a total meltdown before dinner, his mom’s a good cook, and his sister is a typical sixteen-year-old.”
“Man cave, check. Mom cooks good, kid sister, good kisser. Got it.” She pretend to be interested in her food, then looked up, feigning shock. “Oh wait, did you try to slip total meltdown in there?”
“Ha ha.” He avoided her stare. “It was so like that last night with my parents. Mom cooking, Dad cutting the meat, me putting stuff on the table. It….” He took a deep breath and let it out loud and slow. “Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to break down in tears in front of the parents of the guy you like? Oh yeah, and the first time meeting them too.” Not that they knew who I was to Ed.
Brittany rubbed his back. “I don’t, Jackson, but if they don’t understand, then they’re assholes and who cares about th
em?”
He shook his head. “They were cool about it. They went out of their way to tell me it was no big deal.”
“Because it’s not.” Scooting closer, she put her arm around him. “Look, I know it’s easy for me to say you’ve nothing to be embarrassed about, but that’s because I’m on the outside. I get it. But what happened is rough. The rest of us? We may not know what it feels like, but we know we never want to find out firsthand. Like I said, only a worthless, don’t need ’em, don’t wanna know ’em asshole would think less of you. From what you’ve said, I can’t see Ed being one of those people.”
“He’s not, and neither are his parents. But I just wish….”
“Wish what, Jack?” Her tone shifted, and she got in front of him. “Wish you didn’t remember them? That you’d move on so it doesn’t hurt anymore? Really?”
“No, that’s not it.”
“Then what? You act like there’s something wrong with you, but there isn’t. Not a damn thing.”
“I know, but it’s still embarrassing.”
“Only because you cavemen are taught it’s a sign of weakness to show your grief in public.” She sat and picked up her sandwich. “Have you told Marcus yet?”
Jack shook his head and finished chewing. “No. Because of the whole 2:00 a.m. thing. We’ll talk later.”
“So, how’s kissing Ed?” Her smirk told Jack she’d been dying to ask this since they met for lunch.
“Insanely good.”
“Like give you a woody you could hurt people with good?”
“You mean like you gave to Seth?”
Brittany took a bite and nodded. “Mm-hmm.”
So much for turning the conversation back onto her. “Tell me about him.”
“He’s a nice guy.” She made him wait while she took a drink. “We went to dinner, and he insisted he pay—not many gentlemen like that around. We went and walked around the campus. It was so cute—you could tell he wanted to hold my hand, but it took him forever to reach over.”
“You could have helped him out, you know.”
A braid fell across her face when she shook her head and stared down her nose at him. “Aren’t you the one who said be gentle with him?”
“I never said gentle, I said don’t use him.”
“It was better this way. He got more confident after that.”
“Sounds right.”
“After a bit we found a place to sit.”
Suppressing a snicker, he screwed on a serious face. “An out of the way, secluded place?”
She looked at him over her drink. “You mean like the airport Ed took you to, secluded?”
He picked up his sandwich, shaking his head.
“No, nothing like that,” she continued, “but out of the way enough that we could kiss.” If not for her dark complexion, Jack would have sworn she blushed. “He’s a good kisser for a novice, and let me tell you, he’s got nothing to be ashamed of, if you know what I mean.”
Jack choked on his bite of sandwich and held up a hand. Seth was cute in a geeky sorta way, but not Jack’s type. He definitely didn’t want to know what Seth was packing. “No need to go on.”
“Not that he’s in your category—at least not if what Kieran said is true.”
Jack’s cheeks burned. “He exaggerated.”
“If anything, Kieran didn’t do you justice. I’ve seen you excited before. Cargo shorts don’t hide much.”
Her lips quirked, and he tossed a stray leaf of lettuce at her. “I hate you.”
“Right.” She laughed dramatically. “Let me call the Huffington Post. I can see the headline: ‘gay man with big dick embarrassed by the attention.’”
“Can we please talk about something else?”
She sat back and picked up her sandwich. “Now that it looks like I might be going to your formal for real, we’ll get to double date.”
Sun reflected off Jack’s watch, projecting onto his backpack. “I, um, I have a confession. Something I haven’t told Marcus yet.”
Brittany swiveled in her seat. “Why is my belly churning suddenly?”
“I’ve sort of fucked things up.” Jack sighed and looked her in the eye. “Ed’s not out. I can’t ask him to the formal. Marcus assumes there’ll be no problem bringing him as my date. Thinks I’m all good to stay. Harper has made it more than clear if I lose and don’t move out, he’ll make life shit. Not just for me—for Marcus, Billy, Seth. All the guys who’re rooting for me.”
“Fucker. I can’t believe I ever dated him.”
“He fooled us all for a while.”
Brittany sat back in her chair, expression tight. “Ed’s not out?”
“He doesn’t want to come out. Doesn’t even want to be seen with me on campus.”
“Why not?”
“He knows people who work or go to school here. Think about how it would look for him to show up to hang out with some college kid who has no connection to the area other than going to school here. It’s not like we work at the same place or are on the same rec football team. It’d be hard to explain.”
“You’re his cousin.”
“What?”
Brittany gave him her “you boys are so stupid” look. “He could tell people you’re his cousin. Who’d know the difference?”
“I dunno.” Would Ed go for it?
She put her lunch down and looked him in the eye. Her voice lost its usual snark, and Jack tensed. “I know you really like this guy, but if he won’t be seen with you, he’s not the one.”
“What if he is?” Jack scrubbed his face, wishing he could take that back. “I mean, I have never felt this way with another guy before. Like I’m fucking magnetized to him or something—and not just in the groin. I mean, my stomach flutters, Brit. Flutters. As soon as I see him—or hell, read one of his texts—it’s like I could float the rest of the damn day. This is not normal. This is… crazy.”
“That sounds particularly swoony.” Her grin subsided. “I’m happy for you, really. But is this worth compromising who you are? What if he never wants to come out?”
What if Jack would never be worth the risk?
He swallowed hard. “You think if he won’t come to the formal, I need to dump him?”
Brittany sighed. “I’m not saying that should be the defining issue, but he can’t have places he won’t be seen with you. That’s not how you want to live.”
“I know you’re right, but… yeah.”
“Just think about it.” She bumped shoulders once and moved back to her food. “Now that I know you’re hiding something from Marcus, and he’s hiding from you, the question is: When are you boys going to sit down and talk?”
Chapter Thirteen
Jack’s phone rang. He quickly dug it out of his pocket, grinning.
Oh. Not Ed. Of course, he was taking Becky out shopping for her prom today.
Marcus: Where r u bro?
Jack: Had lunch w Brit and heading back to room now.
Marcus: K see u when u get here
Jack: Something wrong?
Marcus: Want your help on my speech.
Jack groaned. He had set aside the morning to help Marcus, but his brother had slept in. He shook his head and picked up his pace. The things you did for family.
When he reached the house, Harper wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Thank heaven for little things. The house was quiet, typical for a Sunday. Most of the guys spent the day catching up on their studies. Something Jack needed to do too.
He raced up the stairs and heard his phone go off again two steps from the top. He rolled his eyes and opened the door. Marcus sat on his bed, staring over a stack of index cards at the Murphy-Reynolds photo on the side table.
“I told you I was on the way.”
“Huh?” Marcus shook out of whatever daydream he’d been in, laid down his notes, and climbed off the bed. “What’s that mean?”
“Didn’t you just text me?”
“Um… no. You said you were coming. Why would I text
back? To tell you to walk safely?”
A jolt zinged through him, and he yanked out his phone. Ed! Finally.
Ed: Hey, Jack!
“That from him?”
He ignored his brother, leaned back against the door, and responded.
Jack: How’s family day?
“How was Meet the Fockers last night?”
Jack pinned Marcus with a scowl. “His last name is Knowles, you doofus.”
“Whatever.” Marcus swiveled around and smirked. “Did you have a good time?”
“Yeah, mostly. Was nice.”
Marcus raised an eyebrow. “Nice? You’re not convincing me.”
Jack turned away and flopped on the bed. “What? I met his parents. There wasn’t much alone time….”
“You’re not telling me something. What happened?”
“Before or after I had another episode?”
“Oh shit. Sorry, Jack.” Marcus shifted on his seat and stared blankly at his cards. He’d been through most of Jack’s breakdowns. He probably feared the worst.
“I got through it. His parents were cool with me, with my freaking out, everything.”
“I don’t hear anything about Ed,” Marcus said, his voice dipping slightly, a crease forming between his brows. “You two getting along okay?”
The ghost of their last kiss played over Jack’s lips. How soft it had been. Tender and nervous and heartwarming. “He really came through for me.”
Marcus leaned back in his chair and linked his hands behind his head. “You look besotted. Is he coming to my thing?”
“Your thing?” Jack kept a straight face. “You mean your game next weekend?”
“My thing Thursday.” Marcus tossed a card at him. “You better have got me something good. Is Ed gonna join us at Studio 63?”
Studio 63 was off campus, and if only close friends were going to be there…. Jack grinned and got to texting Ed back. “I hope so,” he said to Marcus. “I really hope so.”
The alarm went off. Despite being Monday, Jack popped up and debated how best to torture Marcus on his special day.
