by Megan Hart
Bubbe sat back in the chair and looked at Laila calmly. It was the same look she'd always given when, as kids, they'd stolen the cookies from the jar. It was an expression designed to force admissions of guilt from even the most reluctant parties.
Laila didn't waver. "There's nothing, Bubbe!"
Bubbe sighed, looking sad. "You know you can come to me for anything, bubbeleh. Any reason. We're your family, doll. We love you. No matter what."
Did they suspect Laila was lying about Hal? Her heart thumped a little harder and her palms felt sweaty. She wiped them on her pants legs, knowing eagle-eyed Bubbe would spot the motion and her nervousness.
"And if it's money you need, Zayde Saul and I have already talked about it. We were planning on giving all you kids equal portions in our wills, but if you need it now, we can arrange that."
Money? Laila frowned. "Why on earth would I need money?" There wouldn't be much left after paying the LoveMatch bill, but she wasn't in dire straits.
"The things you're going to need are going to cost money," Bubbe said, lowering her voice. "You'll have to move out of that tiny little apartment."
"I love my townhouse," Laila said quietly. "Bubbe, if you're thinking about the wedding, don't worry. I don't need money for it."
Money to pay for the week of Hal's services, yes, Laila thought. But for a wedding? Certainly not.
"So he is going to marry you," Bubbe said in visible relief.
Laila had to force the lie. "He is my fiancé, Bubbe."
"I just thought...well..." Bubbe flapped her hands and laughed. "I thought you were fighting because he wasn't going to the right thing by you."
That was uncomfortably close to what Laila had planned, and she was almost ready to agree. It would save a lot of headache if Bubbe already assumed Hal had broken off the engagement. They wouldn't have to go through the big fight scene tomorrow, after all. Before she could say anything, though, Bubbe laid the final brick in the wall.
"A man's not a real man if he won't stand by the mother of his child," Bubbe said.
"Child?" Laila said. "What are you talking about?"
"Eli told your mother all about what David said to you the other night. We know your little secret. It's okay, doll, really it is. It happens to lots of women." Bubbe leaned in again to share a secret. "Your own mother, bubbeleh, now she'll never tell you this--"
"Stop!" Laila cried, jumping to her feet . There was no way she wanted to hear any more of that little story. "You think I'm--"
"Pregnant!" Bubbe cried.
"Pregnant?" Laila shrieked.
"Pregnant?" Hal asked from the doorway. Then he turned and walked back out.
Chapter 9
Hal couldn't feel his feet. They were walking, carrying him down the hallway and out onto the front porch. But he couldn't feel them. Or, for that matter, his legs. Or his face. Or any part of his body.
Pregnant? But how could that be? They'd made love only just the night before, and he'd used protection. The child couldn't possibly be his.
He stopped before descending the stairs, his hand on the railing. Jealousy was foolish. Laila wasn't his. Her pregnancy wasn't any of his business. Hal took a few quick, deep breaths, forcing away the picture of a round-bellied Laila embracing a faceless man who was not him.
So she hadn't been completely honest about her reasons for hiring him. So what? The man in her life obviously wasn't going to be there for her, or she'd have brought him to meet her family instead of hapless Hal Kessler. She had hired him to do a job, and he'd done it. If she'd lied to him about why she needed him-- Hal muttered a curse.
She'd lied. No matter how much he tried to convince himself it didn't matter, that she didn't matter, the fact remained Laila had lied to him. It hurt. He jumped down the stairs two at a time, almost willing himself to twist his ankle. Physical pain might take away the mental anguish.
"David!"
Laila had to call his name three more times before Hal realized she was calling him. He turned to see her hesitating at the top of the porch stairs. She took one step down, then stopped.
He thought about ignoring her and just walking on. Then he hung his head and went back to her. She met him at the bottom of the steps.
"It's not what you think," she began.
He held up his hand to silence her. "You don't owe me any explanations."
"Yes, I do." Laila let out a strangled laugh. "It's kinda funny actually."
Hal had never felt less like laughing. "I don't think I want to know."
He knew his reply was unyielding, and he ignored the small stab of nasty pleasure he got from seeing the surprise on her face. Laila licked her lips, and Hal was ashamed to see the sight could still move him. He didn't want to want her, but he did.
"If you'd let me explain," she said quietly.
When she reached for his hand, he didn't move to take hers. She let hers fall back to her side. Once more she let her tongue sweep the fullness of the lips he'd never taste again. She bit the soft flesh, gnawing nervously.
"It was a misunderstanding," she said when she saw he wasn't going to answer. "Something you told Eli."
"That's easy enough, isn't it?" Hal asked bitterly without waiting for her to finish. "Blame it on Hal. Hal's an easy scapegoat for everything. It's always Hal's fault."
"Please," she said miserably, and he was ashamed to see tears glittering in her eyes.
"You hired me for a job," he said in a low voice. "I believe I've done it. Your family thinks I'm some abusive cretin who beats you. They'll be more than thrilled when I'm gone. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Yes, but--"
"I called a local cab company," Hal went on. The sight of her tears was enough to make him want to call back the words, to change his mind. But he pressed on. "They'll be here in forty minutes to take me to the bus station. I booked a ticket back to Harrisburg. I can be gone by this afternoon. And you can enjoy the rest of your vacation here with your family."
She shook her head. "You don't have to do that."
Hal glanced over her shoulder. Laila'd left the front door open, but the doorway wasn't empty. Eli and his wife Sarah stood framed in it. As Hal watched, they stepped through to be replaced by Ruth and Frank. One by one, the members of Laila's family came out onto the porch and stood by the railing to watch them.
Laila hadn't noticed their audience. She stepped toward him, reaching for his hand again. This time Hal jerked away. It was the perfect time for him to give Laila what she wanted. To finish the job.
"I think I have to," he said loudly. "What did you expect me to do, Laila?"
"I thought you'd let me tell you what happened," she said.
Hal made sure to keep his voice loud enough to carry to the army of relatives. "Right. Do you think any of your stupid explanations matter any more? I'm tired of listening to you and your worthless stories!"
Laila straightened her shoulders. "What?"
Hal grimaced, taking a step toward her that must have been menacing because she moved back. He jabbed his finger at her. "I'm tired of bowing and scraping for you, Laila! I'm sick of it! Staying with you has been the worst mistake I've ever made, and I intend to fix that right now!"
"Hal," she whispered. Her lower lip trembled. Tears spilled down her cheeks at last. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry's a bunch of crap, coming from you!" he cried.
He saw Eli move as though to come down the stairs, but Sarah held him back. At least Hal wouldn't have to get into a fistfight, too. He turned his attention back to Laila.
"You used me," he said. His voice broke over the words, and he realized he was no longer just acting for her family's benefit. "Laila, you never cared about me at all. You just used me for your own needs."
"That's not true," she said.
"Isn't it?" Hal threw out his hands and looked up at the sky. "Isn't that what our entire relationship has been about? You using me to get what you need? What you want? Hasn't this whole thing just been a huge lie?"
"No." Sh
e shook her head.
"No?" Hal let his hands fall to his sides. He felt exhausted. "Then tell me, Laila, what has it been, if not a complete and utter deception?"
She only looked at him helplessly. "I don't know."
What had he thought she might say? "Tell me you care about me, Laila."
She shook her head and began to back away. Hal did not follow her. His legs would not move. Somewhere he found the strength to call after her.
"Tell me you care about me!" he cried. "Tell me that last night wasn't just another lie!"
"I can't," she whispered brokenly. "Hal, please don't ask me to."
"All right," he said. "I understand."
"Please don't leave this way," Laila said so quietly he almost didn't hear her.
"What other way would you have me leave?" Hal asked her.
He didn't really expect a reply, and he didn't get one. Turning, Hal walked away. There wasn't anything else to say.
Laila watched Hal walk away, knowing she should run after him. She could tell him the truth, if only she knew what it was. Suddenly, the painful straightness of his gait and the way he walked was too much for her to bear. Laila turned to flee back into the main lodge.
They were watching her, nearly all of them. Her mother and siblings. Bubbe and Zayde. The aunts, the uncles, the cousins. Even the nieces and nephews stood clustered about their parents' legs, watching her humiliation.
Laila lifted her chin, determined not to break down in front of them. As her foot hit the bottom step, the irony of the situation struck her. This was what she'd planned all along. Hal had provided her with the perfect break up, complete with witnesses. Just one more thing she had him to thank for.
"Honey," her mom said as she reached the top of the stairs. Irene opened her arms wide, gathering Laila in.
The tears Laila had thought she might hold off fell hot and burning from her eyes. Something about her mother could always do that to her. She didn't fight the sobs, part of her knowing this was why she'd hired Hal, and another part unable to stop them even if she'd wanted.
Her mother hushed her and pulled her away from curious eyes. Laila was glad to be pulled for once; happy to have someone else in charge for a change. She didn't want to think about anything. She wanted to be a child again, when Mommy's kisses could make even the worst pain disappear.
"Now, Laila, you sit down here and tell me everything," Irene ordered after she'd led Laila to the cozy front parlor.
Laila sank down into a chair close to the crackling fire. On either side of the fireplace, shelves crammed with books stretched from floor to ceiling. The room was small with a sliding pocket door to close it off from the front hallway. Laila caught a glimpse of the porch swing through the lace-curtained window. She turned her eyes away, not wanting to think of the kisses she and Hal had shared on that swing.
"Oh, Mom." Laila sighed. Her hands plucked at the zipper on her jacket. "Where should I start?"
A small knock at the door kept her mother from replying right away. The door slid open and Ruth, Sarah and Bubbe came through. Bubbe and Laila's mom shared another of their unfathomable looks, but Ruth just looked mad. She strode immediately to Laila's side and drew her sister into a fierce embrace.
"That bastard!" She said. "Frank and Eli are ready to hunt him down for you, Laila, if you want them to."
The thought of her brother and brother-in-law going after Hal made Laila push her sister away. "No, Ruthie. This is my problem."
Sarah slipped into chair across from Laila's. "What can we do for you?"
Laila looked around at the women who wanted to protect her as they all found seats in the small parlor. They'd only ever acted out of concern for her. Again, waves of guilt rocked her. She took a deep breath, deciding it was time to come clean.
"Hal is not my fiancé," she said.
"Hal who?" Ruth asked.
"I mean David." Laila took another deep breath. This was going to be hard. "His name is really Hal."
"So then why do you call him David?" Ruth asked.
"Laila Alster," her mother said. "I think you've got some real explaining to do."
"I hired him from an escort service," Laila explained.
"Why on earth would you do that?" Sarah asked.
Laila rubbed her eyes. "I had been telling you all along that I'd finally found a new man. When you started insisting I bring him along this week, I had to find somebody. Hiring someone was my only option."
"Not your only option, young lady," Bubbe sniffed. "You could've just told us the truth."
Laila met each of their eyes in turn. "I didn't want to disappoint you. You all were so excited that I'd finally started dating again."
"Of course we were excited," Ruth said. "We just wanted to see you happy--"
"I know," Laila interrupted. "The problem was, none of you would see that I was happy. Am happy. With the way my life is."
"Laila, you can't keep mourning Ian forever," Irene said quietly. "He was a good man, and we know you loved him, but--"
A short, harsh bark of laughter shot out of Laila's mouth. "Oh, Mom. This is where it all began. With Ian."
"What about Ian?" Ruth asked.
Laila again picked at her zipper, preferring to look at her hands rather than her family. "It's my fault Ian died."
"Bubbeleh, I thought we were through with that," her grandmother said. "Wet roads and careless driving caused the accident. You couldn't have stopped it."
Now was the time to unburden herself of the secret she'd kept for so long. Laila felt a sense of sick relief, frightened to at last tell her family the truth about Ian and overjoyed to release herself from the past.
"Ian wouldn't have been on the road that night, driving so fast, if he and I hadn't fought." She swallowed hard, trying to find the right words. "I--we--I broke up with Ian that night. I told him I didn't want to marry him. He was angry and upset. He threatened me."
"Threatened you?" Ruth gasped. "No!"
Now Laila forced herself to meet her sister's gaze squarely. "Ian often threatened me, Ruth. He was very controlling. He wanted to determine my every move, from the perfume I wore to the way I ordered my steak."
She could see they were having trouble reconciling their memories of the perfect fiancé with this new picture Laila was painting. Ruth still looked angry, but now she also looked confused. Gentle Sarah only looked sorry. Bubbe and Laila's mom shook their heads as though unable to comprehend the story Laila was telling.
"He told me that, after we were married, I was going to have to quit my job because no wife of his was going work."
"Laila, you love your job!" Sarah exclaimed.
"I usually gave in to his demands, but this time I said no." Laila shivered, remembering the way Ian's handsome face had turned dark with fury. "I told him I was tired of him trying to change me, and that I would decide whether or not I'd quit. Not him." She paused, not wanting to admit what came next but knowing she would have to. "Then he hit me."
"No!" Cried her mother in horror.
"Oy, oy, oy," moaned Bubbe, throwing her hands up to cover her mouth.
"He didn't," Ruth said flatly. "Oh, Laila, why didn't you tell us?"
"The bruises were easy to explain away," Laila said. "And he was dead. You all thought he was so wonderful. I didn't think telling you the truth would help."
"It would've helped you," Sarah told her. "Laila, you could have told us."
"So all this time you haven't been mourning him at all?" Ruth questioned. "Then why have you been keeping to yourself?"
"I didn't ever want to give so much of myself away again," Laila said firmly. "For a while you all left me alone because you thought I needed time to get over Ian. It was a good excuse. But then you kept bugging me."
"We drove you into a corner," Ruth said ruefully, sitting back in her chair. "Laila, if I'd known, I never would've kept asking you."
"I would have," Bubbe said snappily. "Makes no sense, a pretty girl like you, hiding herself
away like that."
Laila smiled at her grandmother. "You wanted so much for me to find someone new, to settle down. I thought if I told you I'd found somebody, we could break up and then I'd buy myself some more time."
"She's too smart," Bubbe said grudgingly to Irene.
Laila's mom sighed. "So you hired David? Hal? Whatever his name is?"
Laila nodded. "I told him to be a real jerk, so you'd all be happy when we broke up."
"I can't say I approve of all this," her mother said. "Lies are never the right choice."
"They always come back to haunt you in the end," Laila finished one of her mother's favorite sayings. "I know, Ma. And I'm sorry."
"So he's not a doctor?" Bubbe asked.
Her grandmother sounded so disappointed, Laila nearly laughed. "No, Bubbe. Hal's in school to become a massage therapist. And even though he is a little clumsy, he's not the jerk you all think he is."
"I don't understand," Bubbe said. "So if you two aren't engaged, how'd you end up pregnant?"
Laila hung her head, at a loss to explain. "I'm not pregnant."
"But David, I mean Hal, told Eli you were knocked up!" Sarah said.
Laila frowned. All at once she remembered the night at dinner with Hal's socially inept responses. "I don't think he meant it that way. Anyhow, I'm not pregnant."
"Oy, that's a relief," Bubbe said. "So, when's he coming back?"
"He's not coming back, Bubbe," Laila said. "He's gone."
"I thought the break up was just fake," Bubbe insisted.
"It was. But it was real." Laila shrugged. "It's hard to explain."
Bubbe chuckled. "Doll, you're telling me."
There was no way Laila was going to admit to her mother and grandmother that she'd gone to bed with Hal. "Hal's a good guy. He didn't deserve to get tangled up in all of this. It's better that he left."
"But you're going to see him again, right?" Bubbe persisted.
"No, Bubbe," Laila said as patiently as she could. "I told you, Hal and I weren't really dating. I hired him from an escort agency."
"Escort, shmescort," Bubbe said. "Maybe that's how it started, bubbeleh, but you can't tell me that's how it ended up."
