by Jade Herrera
Dearest John
When nightfall comes and I'm alone
I knew you'd left and not return
Your footsteps echoed in my mind
As you disappeared along with time.
The warmth of your hands in my palms
Faded away like footprints in the sand
I can't hear you sing my favorite songs
Your laughter is gone and everything feels wrong.
Hugging this teddy bear closer
That's all I have left of you
I remember the days when your love was mine
And I woke up and still had you.
When time stands still and rain runs dry
The night goes on and the stars collide
I'll try and forget you
It will break my heart but I'll get through.
Your eyes were my home
An assurance that I was loved
But when my path strayed away from you
I had to leave my heart with you.
You promised you'd wait for me to return
That you would still be my home
But dearest John while I was gone
You went away never to return.
And when the sun cries and flowers smile
The butterflies sing and grasses weep
I'll try and forget you
It'll be hard but I'll get through.
Dear John why'd you go?
You moved on now and I'll try too
But we both know
It'll be hard to stop loving you.
So when the fire goes cold and teardrops laugh
Leaves will bleed and trees will beat
I'll learn to forget about you
And I'll stop loving you...
I'll try and forget you
It'll be hard but I'll get through
But dearest John we both know
I’d have died but I’d never stopped loving you.
I’m Breaking Out
Faded jeans and off-shoulder shirts
Ear-phones plug and singing along
I'm just another girl
Who blends in with the crowd.
But people see me differently
Far from the girl I know myself to be
I seem to wear a thousand masks
And if I take it off, they might not recognize me.
They judge me by the cover
And pretend to read the pages.
They overlook who I really am
And try to rewrite my fate.
Caged in wrong impressions
Binded by their assumptions
Chained in their descriptions
I'm not the girl they presume to be.
Shattered mirrors and faded memories
They were gone and was never me
All of them were just images
How people wanted me to be.
I won't let them mess with this girl
I'm tired of the masquerading
Gonna let the world know who I am
I won't let them control me.
Taking off the innocent smiles
And obeying eyes
I won't let them think I'm another puppet
They can play with and control.
I can't be broken, I'm stronger than they think
I'm braver than it seems and I know I've got dreams
I'll follow my heart and not their minds
I'm not gonna let them take over me.
I'm not another girl
I'm different from the rest of them
I'm gonna show you
I can do better than what you think I can.
Caged in wrong perceptions
Binded by their expectations
I'll prove to them that they are wrong
I have an identity that I own.
Ripping of the photographs they think I am
Burning the designs of how they want me to be
I'm not a barbie doll
They can redress anytime they want.
Taking off the masks they wanted me to wear
Wash away the colors they tried to color me with
Breaking from the chains of their images of me
I'm done with the masquerading.
I'm breaking free from everything
Letting go of the masquerading
I'll show them my reflection
Show them who I really am.
No more shattered mirrors and faded memories
The girl they assumed I was is gone
Standing here is the girl I really am
Accept that 'cause I won't change for you.
I'll Miss the Days When I Watched You Sleep
Cradled in my arms as you sleep
Your little hand holding on to my t-shirt's fabric
I kiss your forehead and lay you in bed
As I watched you peacefully in your sleep.
You're my princess and my precious baby
And when you laugh you wash away my worry
Your eyes that shine with happiness
Takes away all my sadness.
You could stay like this forever
Never grow up and always be little
You'll never know what hurt is
And you'll never break your heart.
No one will make you cry
Your heart won't have wounds and scars
You'll be filled with happiness
And be my precious little baby.
Fifteen years later I watch you sleep in bed
I trace a dry tear in your cheeks
I wish you were still little
And no one ever broke your heart.
You no longer hold my hand or sleep in my arms
Your smile barely reaches the corners of your eyes
I miss the times when we both jumped in your bed
And you kiss me before you sleep.
You've grown up and I've grown older
Our time together slowly dwindles
I miss the warmth of your little hands
Pressed upon my very palms.
I glimpse at your photographs
You were so young once and I missed you like that
I wish you could stay like that forever
Stop growing older and be my precious baby forever.
You could stay a child forever
Never grow up and always be little
You'll never know what hurt is
And you'll never have to break your heart.
Just stay so little so I can tuck you in bed
Whisper your favorite songs as you sleep at night
You'll never have tears in your eyes
And you'll always be my precious little child.
I wish you'd never grow up
I'd still cradle you in my arms
I wish you'd never grow up
Your hands are still in my palms.
I wish you'd never grow up because when you do
I know that I'll always miss the little you
But don't you worry my pretty child
I'll still love you.
My First Love
Once in a while you are in the corners of my mind
And I would ask myself what if you were never gone?
I still think about the day when we first met
That smile of yours I never knew could make me cry.
There are moments when I wished you were still mine
That the days we spent together would go back in time
I wanted to keep you like the memories you left behind
Memories that I'm afraid would fade away with time.
I always thought you were the one
Until you said goodbye and was gone
I always wanted you to know
I would've never let you go.
I still love you even with the passing of time
I know I will never find anyone like you
You will always be in my heart
I wish you were still mine my first love.
&
nbsp; Sometimes your face dwells in my dreams
Memories come back alive
And I could hear the sound of your voice
Feel the warmth of your hands over mine.
Looking back at the pictures we never had
Listening to the song you would never sing for me
One thing I can say is that I truly miss you
And I pray you feel the same.
No one will ever take away your place
You still hold that one place in my heart
If there was another chance
I'd hold your hand and never let you go.
You will always be the one
Who makes my heart beat fast.
The one who paints the smile in my face
And light the stars in my eyes.
I will always love you
No one can ever take you away from my heart
Even if you are gone
Now and forever you will always be my first love.
While I’m Still Waiting
Even when it hurts, I'm still waiting
I look at my phone every time it rings
And I keep on hoping you would call me today,
I just want to hear you call my name.
My heart is breaking but I still hold on,
I have cried a thousand times and I keep on missing you,
Even when I know you're not missing me
I find myself still waiting for you.
Waiting for you outside even when you don't notice me
Each time you walk past me I try to hold you back.
I talk to myself like you're beside me each time I'm alone
And hope that you would be mine in my dreams.
The touch of your hand I once felt in mine
Is a distant memory from one thousand years.
When I met you on the streets
Like a stranger you'd look away.
They say I am a fool for holding on
But I can't get you off my mind.
How will my heart forget
When I think of you day and night?
My tears have dried and gone
I am still waiting but you're still far away.
And every day that I am missing you,
You're not even thinking of me.
Each time my phone rings, I hope you're calling
And when you walk past me, I wish you'd look back.
The seasons change and rain has come
I am still waiting but tomorrow I may be gone.
The Girl in the Mirror
Mirrors and windows reflecting a soul
A girl barely eighteen with eyes afire like coal.
No one would ever knew she was broken inside,
No one would ever thought she found it hard to smile.
Bullied and beaten when she was a child
All because she looked like a boy that she was reviled.
People called her smart but they also called her names
None of them knew their paths were not the same.
She grew up and remembered every word they said
One day she would prove to them she was more than that.
She promised herself she would never love
Friends were never real when they mocked you when you turn your back.
But her world grew bigger
When she went out of the box.
She later realized not all people are bad
Some were just meant to hurt you but some will love you.
She learned to forgive the people Who made her feel bad.
Happiness was a choice and she chose to take that path,
Bigger things were coming her way
And no one can lead her astray.
Her hair grew longer, she no longer looked like a boy
She believed in herself and trusted the one in the mirror.
Dreaming high and living the life she was given
Sooner or later she will meet her special someone.
Her name written in paper, her words read by people.
She smiled to the ones who used to mock her
And loved the ones who took care of her
Her heart grew softer and learned to love deeper.
No longer will she have to cry
Her heart might be broken but it can be mended.
She smiled to herself as she looked at the mirror
She will be loved by herself more than by others.
She'll be happy till the end of her days
Years will grow older but her smile won't fade.
If you ask me how I know this one thing is for sure
That girl smiles back at me when I look at the mirror.
The End
Epilogue
Again, my sincerest thanks for embarking on a journey to my thoughts and poetry. May it serve as an inspiration for you to write too and join us self-proclaimed poets. Remember that you are never too old or too young to write. And when the time comes that I will share another part of my life, I do hope that you will take the time to read it again.
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