by Lexi C. Foss
Leela: How long until she realizes Issac can bite her?
* * *
Stark: Hopefully, not anytime soon.
* * *
Leela: Spoken like a true—
* * *
Stark: Don’t say it.
* * *
Leela: Why not?
* * *
Ezekiel: Spoiler, obviously. Let them figure it out themselves.
* * *
Leela: Ugh, it’s taking too long.
* * *
Stark: Then stop talking so our creator can continue with the next book.
* * *
Leela: Huh, fair point. All right, I’m out.
* * *
Stark: Likewise.
* * *
Ezekiel: Peace.
Immortal Curse Recipes
Alik’s Sandwich
Ingredients:
bread
meat
cheese
lettuce
condiments, if you feel it’s necessary
Directions:
* * *
Assemble. Eat.
Optional Commentary:
* * *
B: Well, we’ve never called you inventive, have we?
Amelia’s Hot Chocolate
Ingredients:
16 oz whole milk
12 oz Argentinian dark chocolate
2 peppermint sticks
Balthazar’s homemade whipped cream (can be found in his fridge on Hydria)
Directions:
* * *
Warm milk on stove over medium heat while stirring constantly. Once it starts to boil, add chocolate and continue stirring until chocolate is fully melted. Can add more or less chocolate depending on taste.
* * *
Serve in two mugs. Add peppermint stick to each. Top with whipped cream. Serve. Enjoy.
* * *
Optional Commentary:
* * *
Tom: It’s delicious, as is Amelia.
Balthazar’s Pancakes
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1 1/4 cups whole milk
1 egg
3 tablespoons of melted butter
1 bag powdered sugar
1 bottle pure maple syrup (no corn syrup allowed)
chocolate chips, chocolate sauce, chocolate fudge—all acceptable toppings
fresh fruit
fresh whipped cream (from my personal stash)
other toppings as desired
Directions:
* * *
Sift the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar in a large bowl. Create a hole in the center of the bowl and pour in the milk. Crack egg into mixture and add melted butter. Chocolate chips are optional additions, or can be used later as toppings.
* * *
Beat mixture until the texture is smooth. This activity serves as great exercise, especially when using your other hand for more creative assembly in the kitchen.
* * *
When finished with both tasks—pleasuring your partner(s) and mixing to a smooth texture—place a griddle or frying pan over medium heat. Lightly oil the surface, and perhaps those around you (if interested), then pour or scoop the batter onto your pan. For each pancake, 1/4 cup is adequate. Brown evenly on both sides.
* * *
Dust pancakes with powdered sugar. Bonus points awarded to those who use sugar creatively on their guests.
* * *
Add toppings as desired. Strongly suggest use of whipped cream, fresh fruit, maple syrup, and chocolate, either on pancakes or partners.
* * *
Multiply recipe as appropriate for after-party care.
* * *
Eat. Hydrate. Enjoy.
* * *
Optional Commentary:
* * *
Luc: I approve of your use of maple syrup.
* * *
B: I thought you might.
Issac’s “Where to Bite” Guide
Ingredients:
Astasiya
Directions:
* * *
Mine.
* * *
Optional Commentary:
* * *
B: Seriously?
* * *
Issac: You tasked me with the above. I answered.
Jay’s Pizza
Ingredients:
Sauce:
2 tablespoons olive oil
4 cloves fresh garlic
1 sprig fresh basil
2 sprigs fresh oregano
dried crushed red chili, to taste
800 grams San Marzano tomatoes, peeled and crushed
salt, to taste
fresh-ground black pepper, to taste
Crust:
1 teaspoon active dry yeast
3/4 cup water, lukewarm
2 cups tipo 00 flour, plus a bit extra
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons olive oil
Directions:
* * *
If you have a proper wood-fired brick oven, get a fire going and heat it to about 450°C (850°F). If you do not, preheat your modern oven to 235°C (450°F) with a baking sheet or pizza stone inside on a low rack.
* * *
Heat the olive oil in a saucepan over a medium-low flame. Peel and finely chop up the garlic, crushing it with the flat side of your knife afterward. Mince the basil, both stem and leaves. Strip the oregano leaves from the stem and dice them; discard the stem. Add the garlic, basil, oregano, and chili to the oil. Heat, stirring frequently, until garlic turns a caramel color. Add tomatoes, salt, and pepper. Stir until sauce begins to boil; reduce flame to low and cover with a mesh screen. Allow sauce to cook and reduce while you prepare the dough. Remove from heat when desired thickness is reached.
* * *
Whisk yeast into lukewarm water; let stand 5 minutes. Combine flour and salt in a mixing bowl. Add yeast-water mixture and mix with a sturdy spoon (wood is best) until dough forms. Knead dough, adding small amounts of flour at a time until it is no longer sticky but just slightly tacky. Dough should spring back when poked.
* * *
Cover dough and let rise for 10 to 15 minutes.
* * *
Divide dough in half. Stretch and flatten each half into a thin, round shape; you may use a rolling pin if desired. If the dough shrinks back when rolled, let it sit a few minutes longer and try again.
* * *
If using a modern oven:
* * *
Remove stone or baking sheet from oven and place on a wire rack. Transfer one pizza crust to your stone or baking sheet. Brush top surface of dough with olive oil, then spread on a thin layer of sauce.
* * *
Place in oven for 3 minutes, then remove and add desired toppings. I prefer buffalo mozzarella, Italian sausage, corn, and caramelized onions. Lizzie prefers shredded mozzarella, American pepperoni, and a variety of veggies.
* * *
Once done negotiating toppings (clothing optional), return to oven for 8 to 10 minutes. Repeat with second crust.
* * *
If using a wood-fired brick oven:
* * *
Dust a wooden pizza peel with cornmeal or flour; place dough on peel. Brush top surface of dough with olive oil, then spread on a thin layer of sauce. Add desired toppings. See my comments above regarding preferences and negotiation of said toppings.
* * *
Transfer directly to stone floor of hot oven; bake for 3 to 5 minutes, rotating pizza 180 degrees halfway through to ensure even baking. Repeat with second crust.
* * *
Optional Commentary:
* * *
Lizzie: Removing your shirt usually wins you the best toppings. Just sayin’.
Lizzie’s Chocolate Chip Cookies
Ingredients:
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
&n
bsp; 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, preferably at room temperature
4 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (this can also be dark chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, or whatever your immortal is craving)
Directions:
* * *
Preheat oven to 350°F. Prepare baking sheets by lining them with parchment paper.
* * *
In a medium bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. This is a great task to give a hungry immortal, especially one who has nothing better to do than to ask you for cookies. Daily.
* * *
Using an electric mixer, beat the butter, granulated sugar, and brown sugar until creamy. Or, ask immortal to remove shirt and stir mixture for you. Makes for a fantastic show. Otherwise, beat for about two minutes with electric mixer, then add the egg and vanilla, beating well to combine. Gradually add the flour mixture and then stir in the chocolate chips.
* * *
Scoop 1 1/2 tablespoon-sized balls—give half to immortal and place the rest on prepared baking sheet.
* * *
Bake for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. Allow it to cool for 2 minutes before switching them to the wire racks to let cool completely. Warn hungry immortal what happens when he eats a cookie too soon. Prepare speech that involves “I told you so” when he ignores you.
* * *
Enjoy!
* * *
Optional Commentary:
* * *
Jay: I love you, Red.
Luc’s Waffles
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups fresh whole milk, lukewarm
1 1/2 tablespoons white sugar
7 grams active dry yeast
3 fresh eggs, yolks and whites separated
1 1/2 cups sparkling water, room temperature
3 1/2 cups finely milled, unbleached flour, thoroughly sifted
1 tablespoon plus 2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder, sifted in with the flour
1 generous pinch salt, sifted in with the flour and baking powder
10 1/2 tablespoons unsalted Irish butter, melted
a bit extra butter, for greasing iron and for topping
pure east Canadian dark amber maple syrup
Directions:
* * *
Combine the milk, sugar, and yeast in a large bowl; allow to bloom for ten minutes.
* * *
Lightly beat the egg yolks and incorporate into the milk-yeast mixture, then gently stir in the sparkling water until thoroughly combined. Add the flour mixture through a sieve, then beat until smooth (you can use a mechanical or electric mixer if you lack the forearm strength to do this by hand).
* * *
Gently fold in the melted butter. Beat the egg whites until they form soft peaks, then fold into the batter by hand.
* * *
Allow the batter to rise for about a half hour.
* * *
While the batter is rising, heat your waffle iron. My preference is the traditional cast-iron heated on a wood stove, but the electric irons invented a century ago work equally as well. This is essential for your waffles to have a crispy exterior. Grease the iron well (even if it has that blasphemous purported “nonstick” coating); butter or ghee will work best.
* * *
Once your iron is hot and your batter is bubbly, you are ready to bake. Pour about 1/3 cup of batter into your iron and bake until it has browned completely. Repeat until you have used all of your batter (enough for about seven waffles).
* * *
Use maple syrup as appropriate (both in the bedroom and on the waffles).
* * *
Serves one immortal being with large muscle mass and high calorific needs; alternatively, serves four or more mortals (you may need to double or triple the recipe).
* * *
Optional Commentary:
* * *
B: I will begrudgingly admit that this sounds edible.
Stas’s Coffee
Ingredients:
black coffee
2 teaspoons brown sugar
Directions:
* * *
Put sugar in coffee. Stir. Cool. Drink.
* * *
Optional Commentary:
* * *
B: You’re almost as bad as Alik. Almost.
A Bonus Story
Issac’s “Surprise” Birthday Party
“I recently took over Lexi’s reader group on Facebook. Here’s a copy of the story I told them. Consider joining us in the future in case I decide to take over again.”
—Issac
* * *
A note from the author: This story takes place after the events in Blood Heart; however, it does not fit the chronological timeline. It is included in the “extra stuff” because that’s exactly what this is: a fun tidbit offered to my reader group that I wished to share with those who might not be on social media. I hope you enjoy it.
Part I
Balthazar.
Naked.
Issac sat bolt upright, causing the blonde using his shoulder as a pillow to groan. An apology sat unused on his tongue as the images continued to assault his mind.
I’m going to kill you, Issac vowed, knowing full well the mind reader in the other room could hear him.
His response was a well-placed birthday cake. Over his groin.
“Issac?” Astasiya mumbled, her gloriously nude body lost to the visions clouding his thoughts. Most days he loved his gift for visual manipulation, but not when they woke him in a sexual nightmare.
He mentally punched Balthazar in the face and turned the cake into a sharp object that the man immediately dropped. Which, of course, only worsened the entire image.
A hand on his thigh switched his focus to a pair of curious green eyes. She raised one brow in question.
“Remind me why we decided to move in with Balthazar,” he said in response.
“Because he owns one of the largest properties on Hydria and offered us a place to stay.” Her lips curved. “Is he bothering you?”
“That amuses you?”
“Yes.” She didn’t even hesitate, the bloody woman. She even added a giggle. “What’s he doing?”
“He’s attempting to offer me a birthday gift I have no intention of unwrapping.”
“Birthday gift?” Now she sat upright. “It’s your birthday?”
“You sound surprised.”
“Because I am. How could you not tell me it’s your birthday?!”
Issac gaped at her. “Why would it matter? It’s hardly something I celebrate, Aya.”
She rolled out of the bed—the precise opposite action Issac had in mind—and grabbed her robe. “Don’t move.”
