He hadn’t even made it five minutes before kissing her, Jake thought wryly, unable to resist putting his memory to the test to see if Sophia’s lips truly were as sweet and soft as he recalled. Even that brief taste told him what he’d already come to suspect in the days since he left St. Louis: memories were no substitute for the real thing. The real thing he’d found in Sophia…
Jake shoved the thought aside. He wasn’t some starry-eyed romantic. He didn’t believe in love at first sight. He wasn’t sure he believed in love at all.
His only experience with the painful emotion had been Mollie. At the time, he’d certainly thought he loved her and trusted she felt the same. But that day at the hospital, she’d made it more than clear how she really felt about him.
You aren’t a family man, Jake. You don’t have any idea what it’s like to be part of a family, but that’s what I need. That’s what Josh and I both need.
And that was what Sophia needed, too.
She needed her family to rally around her, and if playing her boyfriend made this reunion a little easier on her, well, he could fill in for now. He could take on the part until she found someone better suited. Much like Mollie had.
Slipping back into a role that had become too familiar too fast in St. Louis, Jake returned Vanessa’s smile. “Sophia’s told me so much about you, and I couldn’t wait to meet you all.”
“You’ll have to make sure Sophia shows you around while she’s here. Last time she was home, she didn’t do much more than hide away in her room.”
“Sam!” his mother admonished, but whatever the reason for the sudden silence that fell over the table, Sam seemed as ignorant of its cause as Jake.
“What?” the youngest of the Pirelli brothers asked. “I’m just saying.”
“Can you blame her?” Drew slugged his younger brother on the shoulder. “She was probably hiding out from you.”
Jake had already figured out that Sam was the joker, Drew something of a peacemaker, while Nick—Nick he had yet to figure out. The eldest Pirelli brother obviously adored his daughter and got along well with the rest of his family, but Jake sensed a tension between Nick and Sophia, a distance the family clearly talked around, as they did the absence of Maddie’s mother.
“So, Jake, what is it you do?” Sophia’s father asked as he dug in to the potato salad.
He knew from what Sophia had told him that Nick was a veterinarian, Drew a custom-home builder and Sam a mechanic. But Jake didn’t know what she’d told her family about him.
Buying some time, he took a huge bite of the hamburger he’d piled high with lettuce, cheese, avocado and tomatoes. The flavors exploded against his tongue, tasting better than anything he’d had to eat since—since the last meal he shared with Sophia.
They’d gone to a barbecue place not far from her cousin’s house. It had been the final time Sophia looked at him without suspicion, anger and distrust filling her expression. He’d told her the truth the next day, but he had no idea if she’d told her family about his occupation.
Unfortunately, Sophia didn’t seem the least bit inclined to jump in and save him. She was focused on her own burger, sans any toppings, a preference he remembered from a hot dog she’d ordered at a Cardinals game. Almost embarrassed, she’d confessed, “What can I say? I have boring tastes.”
Jake hadn’t found anything at all boring about Sophia Pirelli, and he’d declared her a hot dog purist. Laughing in response, she’d comically piled every condiment known to man on the hot dog he’d purchased while he made a big deal about covering hers with a napkin to maintain its pristine, natural state…
“Um, Jake,” Sophia finally prompted. “My dad was asking about your job.”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” Jake swallowed the last of the huge bite he’d taken. “My mother would be appalled by my manners.”
“Mom’s always appalled by our manners,” Sam interjected, clearly unconcerned as he grabbed a cherry tomato from the salad bowl and popped it into his mouth.
Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Isn’t that the truth?”
“Anyway,” Jake began after he’d stalled as long as he could and hoping he’d picked up correctly on the slight disapproval in Sophia’s voice when she mentioned his job. “I’m a private investigator.”
“Seriously? That must be so cool,” Sam declared.
“Yes, Jake, tell Sam how cool your job is,” Sophia said, a challenging lift to her eyebrows.
He was still scrambling for something to say that would appease her brothers’ curiosity without further alienating Sophia when Vince asked his daughter, “Why is now the first we’re hearing of this? Sophia, why didn’t you tell us what Jake does for a living? For all we knew, he could have been an accountant.”
Sophia picked at the sesame seeds on her hamburger bun and complained, “What’s wrong with being an accountant?”
“Other than being totally boring?” Sam asked before turning back to Jake. “What was your most interesting case?”
Jake didn’t have to even think about it. “That would have to be the case that took me to St. Louis.”
Sophia’s head snapped toward him, her dark gaze pleading, as if she expected him to blurt out the whole story to her family right there at the dinner table. Any why not? he thought with regret. That was pretty much what he’d done to her…
Sam leaned forward. “What happened in St. Louis?”
Reaching out, Jake lifted Sophia’s hand from the picnic table and entwined her fingers with his own. “That’s where I met your sister,” he murmured.
The worry eased from her expression, and was it his imagination or had her eyes softened just a little? Despite the elbow-to-elbow contact at the table, her family seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of them and the spark that had ignited between them the moment they met, an attraction that made it easy for Sophia to trust him, an attraction that made it so easy for Jake to lie to her.
He didn’t know which of them flinched first, but the break in contact as Sophia’s hand fell to her side made Jake feel like some vital part of him had been ripped away, leaving behind only scars as reminders of all he’d lost. Because of his lies and because of the truth he’d been asked to find.
Dammit, Sophia, I’m sorry, he thought, staring at her downcast profile as if he might will her into accepting his apology. Sorry I’m not the man you thought I was.
He did his best to deflect the rest of her family’s questions about his job and thought he’d just about turned the tide when Maddie’s young voice piped in.
“Have you ever been shot?”
The little girl had been tossing bits of her bun at a couple of birds, and Jake hadn’t thought she’d been listening to the conversation. When all adult eyes focused on her, she added, “You know, like on TV.”
Instinctively, his hand moved to his left thigh. Sometimes he swore he could still feel the bullet burning beneath his flesh even though he knew that was impossible…. A soft intake of breath beside him caught his attention. Sophia straightened in realization, and he could almost hear yet another mark checked off against him for yet another lie.
He was spared from having to satisfy Maddie’s childish curiosity when Vanessa turned on her eldest son. “Honestly, Nick, what have you been letting this child watch?”
“I didn’t let her. I didn’t know she was paying any attention,” Nick protested.
Thinking it was a good time to turn the conversation away from himself while he still could, Jake asked, “What about you, Vince? What do you do?”
For the first time since he met the Pirelli family, silence fell.
Sophia might not think much of Jake’s job, but up until recently, he’d been good at it. And he could still pick up on body language and small nuances most people missed. Like the encouraging smile Vanessa sent her husband’s way. Like the look Sam and Drew exchanged, and Nick’s brief but pointed glance at Sophia, who kept her own eyes focused on her plate. Only Maddie was immune, singing beneath her breath a
nd turning her attention back to her gathering flock.
Vince’s smile was wide as ever, but something less than genuine as he said, “Used to manage the grocery store in town, but now I’m retired. I get to be a full-time husband and father, much to my wife and kids’ dismay.”
Vanessa and his sons immediately protested, but Sophia stayed stone silent at Jake’s side until she stood abruptly and practically scrambled over the picnic bench. She grabbed her glass of lemonade. “I need a refill. I’ll be right back. Can I get anyone anything from the kitchen?” She barely waited for her family to reply before backing away from the table.
Jake stood before she made her escape. “I’ll join you.”
She opened her mouth to demur, but he shot a quick glance at her family and the protest she would have made transformed into a smile. “Thank you, Jake.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, wondering if he was the only one to notice how she spoke the words through gritted teeth.
He caught her hand as they crossed the lush green lawn toward the kitchen, but it was Sophia who practically dragged him the last few yards into the house. She whirled on him the moment the door closed, secluding them in the homey kitchen.
Her color was high and her dark eyes snapping as she bit out, “Football injury?”
“What?”
“The night we met, you said you were limping because of a football injury!”
Of all the explanations he owed Sophia, that was by far the last he’d expected her to demand. He’d passed off his injury with the half-joking cliché rather than tell the truth. But the worry shining through her anger was far worse than facing the memories of the job that had gone wrong in Mexico only a few weeks before he met Sophia.
“I wasn’t lying when I told you I was fine. I am,” he insisted, wondering if he wasn’t trying to convince himself. Physically, yes, he was healing. But how many times had he awakened in a cold sweat, grabbing at his leg, feeling the pain of the bullet buried deep inside? He thought he’d put those nightmares to rest, but they’d come back with a vengeance since he left St. Louis. Since he’d left Sophia.
She stared up at him as if trying to see right through him and straight into all the uncertainty inside. But he’d gotten good over the years at hiding; it was part of his job, sure, but more than that, it was part of who he was. And he was pretty sure he didn’t give anything away when he repeated, “I’m fine.”
For a moment, she looked ready to argue, the fine line between her eyebrows a dead giveaway of the stubbornness he’d caught a glimpse of a time or two in St. Louis. But then she changed tactics as she got to the point. “What are you doing here, Jake?”
He’d asked that question as he traveled to Clearville and still wasn’t sure he’d come up with an adequate answer to satisfy himself, let alone one Sophia would accept. All he knew was that the hurt in her eyes when he’d blurted out the truth had haunted him since he’d left, and he couldn’t stand the thought of that being his last memory of Sophia. So here he was, standing in the kitchen of her childhood home, ready to give an explanation she didn’t want to hear. An apology she wouldn’t accept.
Her crossed arms, raised chin and closed expression all told him she wasn’t going to listen to anything he had to say. Not here, not now. But he had time…if he dared to take it.
“What am I doing?” he echoed. “I’m enjoying your family’s company. I’d expected I’d have to fight through your brothers to see you—” his eyebrow rose in question “—but for some crazy reason, they think we’re dating.”
Evading his gaze, she focused on a wall clock shaped like a rooster. Color slowly faded from her cheeks, along with her previous fire, and Jake dropped any hint of teasing. “What’s going on, Sophia?”
She shook her head and swallowed. “It’s like you said. My family still thinks we’re dating…for the crazy reason that I haven’t told them otherwise.”
“Just like you haven’t told them what happened in Chicago or that you’re no longer working for the Dunworthys.” From what he gathered in passing conversations, her family had no idea Sophia had been fired…or the reason why. The Pirellis seemed to think Sophia was on paid leave while her employers vacationed overseas.
“Yet another proud moment in my life,” she muttered. Her embarrassment and disappointment was obvious in the slump to her shoulders and downcast eyes. Jake felt his heart lurch as if urging him to do something. Uncertain what else he could offer, he quietly asked, “Do you want me to tell your family what happened?”
Dragging her gaze from the ceramic tile that had replaced the worn linoleum floor of her childhood, Sophia stared up at Jake Cameron, a man who knew the worst and best of the secrets she still hadn’t told her family. A man who was a virtual stranger—since for all she knew everything he’d told her was a lie, a man who treated getting shot like a paper cut—and the urge to escape overwhelmed her. She spun toward the door, but her family still waited outside. The trapped, suffocating feeling she’d had as a teenager closed in on her, reminding her of all the reasons why she’d run from Clearville years ago.
But a different edge raced along the fine blade of tension now, one she’d never felt before meeting Jake. A fear that running would never be enough until she found some place—someone—she could run to. She shoved the ridiculous thought aside and took a deep breath that teased her senses with the hint of Jake’s woodsy aftershave combined with the smoke from the charcoal—a scent more appetizing than the burgers he’d grilled.
“Do you want me to?” he asked again, stepping close enough for her to feel the heat of his body running down her spine, buttocks and the backs of her thighs. She turned to face him, realizing too late the temptation of his broad chest was just a deep breath away from her breasts and his lips hovered just out of reach of her own…unless she stood on tiptoe, as she’d learned the night of their second date.
“Sophia?”
“What?” Sophia demanded, horrified she’d somehow given her desire away.
“Do you want me to tell your family?” he repeated, a slight frown coming to his handsome face.
Feeling her cheeks burn, she shook her head to clear her heated thoughts. “Of course not,” she scoffed, though she was a bit tempted to dump all the responsibility on Jake. But she wasn’t that big of a coward. “They’re my family. I’ll tell them.”
His golden gaze searched hers, his expression more enigmatic than she’d ever seen in St. Louis. For those few short weeks, he’d struck her as completely sincere, honest and easy to read. It hurt all over again to realize not only his words had been a lie. Everything about the Jake Cameron she’d met, the Jake Cameron she’d liked had been a con.
“Or…” His voice trailed off, dangling the bait of an answer she had yet to consider.
“Or what?”
“Or you could let them believe we’re still seeing each other until you’re ready to tell the truth.”
That had been her plan all along, hadn’t it? Easing into the truth like dipping a toe into the shock of an icy pond instead of diving in headlong. But looking up into the intensity of Jake’s golden gaze, she felt the heat of his stare searching her face before settling on her mouth. A sudden trembling attacked her legs and threatened her ability to stand. Desperate to fight off that weakness before Jake could see how easily he still affected her, Sophia mocked, “You mean pretend to be dating? Well, you’d certainly be good at it.”
His jaw tightened to the point where she expected to hear his molars crack, but when he spoke, his voice was as deep and calm as ever. “You have a choice, Sophia.”
His gaze shifted to a spot over her shoulder, and she glanced back. The lace curtain over the back door window offered a snowy, diffused view of her family outside. Sam and Drew were telling some story that had both her parents laughing. Even Nick looked like he was enjoying himself.
Once again, she would be the one changing that, wiping away their happiness and replacing it with worry and disappointment. Swallowi
ng, she turned away and looked back at Jake. “Why would you do this?”
“Let’s just say I owe you,” he said. “There is a condition, though.”
“Figures,” she muttered. “What’s the condition?”
“I want to know why you’ve let your family believe we’re still seeing each other.”
Tell Jake or tell her entire family? Math had never been her favorite subject, but even she could do those calculations. “You remember meeting my aunt Donna when she came to visit Theresa?” At Jake’s nod, Sophia said, “Well, she definitely remembers meeting you. All she could talk about was what a great guy you are.”
Jake flinched at her words, and for the first time, Sophia wondered if his guilt and regret might be the real thing.
That, or he’s playing you, a cynical voice warned. The same way he played you from the moment you met…or maybe even before that.
It wasn’t like her to view every action with suspicion and doubt, but she’d been burned too many times before. If she let herself believe anything Jake said, she’d only be setting herself up for another heartache.
“Sophia—”
She shook her head, cutting off an apology she couldn’t afford to accept. “My parents have been married for thirty-five years. I know how rare that is in this day and age, but in my family, people still believe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. That marriage is for life and family means everything. How am I supposed to admit that I’m pregnant and that the father of my child will always be this nameless, faceless nonentity in our lives? In my child’s life?”
Sophia didn’t mean for the words to keep spilling out, but once she started, she couldn’t seem to stop. “But you! See, my aunt Donna met you! She thought you were a nice guy. I even had a few pictures from when we went out—to the ballgame, and the zoo.” Sophia shook her head. “You were a single bright spot amid everything that was going wrong in my life and—it was stupid to think that would be enough. But, I don’t know, it just seemed like better than nothing.”
Her Fill-In Fiancé Page 3
