“I worry about her, you know.” Vince sighed, pulling Jake from his memories and back to the conversation. “I’ve got my three boys living within a few miles of home, but my little girl’s thousands of miles away.” His dark eyes lasered into Jake, as if judging whether or not he could count on the younger man to shoulder some of that weight. “Doesn’t seem right, you know?”
Jake struggled not to buckle under the pressure. He wanted more than to make Sophia happy for one night. He wanted to make sure Sophia and the baby she carried were happy for the rest of their lives, but he wasn’t the man to promise that kind of happiness.
Face it, Jake, Mollie’s words mocked him. You aren’t father material. How could you be? You never knew your real father, and you’ve never had any kind of relationship with your stepfather. What makes you think you’d be a better role model for Josh than his own flesh and blood?
Because I love him as much as if he was my son.
He’d never said the words, never made the most gut-wrenching, most heartfelt argument he might have offered. Instead, he’d stood stoically by as Mollie excluded him from Josh’s life, from the perfect family of father-mother-son where Jake no longer had a place. Where he’d never had a place.
But what if Mollie was wrong? Maybe he hadn’t fit into her ideal family, but might Sophia see things differently? Could there be room for him in a life with Sophia and her child? He’d never thought of himself as an artist, but in his years of surveillance, he’d discovered he was a decent photographer when he wasn’t on the job snapping indecent photos. And like focusing on the perfect shot, Jake already pictured Sophia cradling her baby in her arms. If he pulled back, taking a wide angle, could he see himself included in that family portrait?
From the moment he’d found out Sophia was pregnant, he’d been putting up walls to keep Sophia from breaking into his heart, but he’d failed miserably. Probably because she was already there and had been from the moment they met.
Stop fighting so hard. It’s okay to let someone close enough to care about you.
But despite the unspoken promise in Sophia’s words that she might be the one if he let her in, Jake couldn’t give up the battle so easily.
Evading Vince’s well-aimed question, Jake finally answered, “Sophia’s stronger than you think. She’s been through a lot, and she’s learned to take care of herself.”
“She’s my little girl. I’m supposed to take care of her. Sometimes…” Vince shook his head. “It’s easy to feel like I failed.”
“Sophia loves you.” Knowing he might well be crossing a line, Jake pointed out, “But she feels like she’s the one who’s let you down. That it was her fault you quit your job.”
“I quit my job because I refused to keep quiet and work for a family telling lies about my daughter.” Vince surged out of the easy chair as if propelled by his convictions. “I’d do the same thing again in a heartbeat, and it’s turned out for the best like I knew it would. Retirement’s given me the chance to do some work around the house, to fill in if my sons need a hand, and to spend more time with my wife. Just last year, Vanessa and I took a long overdue vacation to Napa.” He pointed to a picture on the mantel of himself and his wife, glasses of red wine raised in a toast, surrounded by oak barrels. “We’ve even talked about going to Italy, to see where my grandparents were born.”
Jake watched Vince closely, looking for any sign of sorrow or regret, but all he saw was a man at peace with himself and his family, a man looking forward to the future. The only one dwelling on the past seemed to be Sophia. He’d sensed that since meeting the Pirellis. But had this trip home been enough to convince Sophia?
“Does Sophia know that the two of you want to travel?”
“Not sure if she does. Maybe not.”
“You should tell her,” Jake insisted. “Not that I know best when it comes to how to deal with your daughter, but Sophia—she feels like she’s like a bit of an outsider. The only one who left home… I think she’d appreciate knowing that you and your wife are looking outside Clearville’s boundaries, even if it’s just for a vacation.”
Vince nodded. “I will. And thanks,” the older man added gruffly.
Uncomfortable with Vince’s gratitude, Jake said, “Hey, it’s just a thought.”
“It’s more than just that.” The older man clapped Jake on the shoulder. “You got Sophia to come back, and I can’t thank you enough for that, son.”
Son. He had given up on being any man’s son a long time ago, but with the warmth and weight of Vince’s hand on his shoulder, Jake didn’t think the word could have meant more to him coming from his own father.
“I’m a little surprised you wanted to go tonight,” Jake said as he guided Sophia toward his rental car.
The touch of his hand was more heat than pressure on the small of her back, but without it, she would have likely raced back into her parents’ house. The night was cool and overcast, the moon and stars cloaked by hazy clouds while the safety of the front porch light beckoned. But she forced herself to put one foot in front of the other as she walked toward Jake’s rental car.
“Do you remember what you said that first day we were in town?” she asked. “When Mr. Whintner, who happens to be very good friends with the Learys, was shooting us dirty looks at the souvenir shop? You said we could leave right away or we could stay a while just to piss him off.”
“I remember. So…you’re planning on pissing people off tonight?”
“No,” Sophia managed a small laugh. “At least I hope not. But ever since the break-in at Hope’s shop, I feel like I’ve been hiding. I hardly left my room those final weeks before I graduated and left town. Once I got to Chicago it was easy to disappear, and even then, I took jobs where I supposed to be invisible.”
And as much as she liked Christine and wished her friend well with her dream of opening her catering company, Sophia knew, for her, the job would have been more of the same—another position where she would have simply disappeared behind a uniform, losing a little more of herself every day until there wouldn’t be anything left.
Reaching the passenger-side door, Sophia turned to face Jake. His palm slid from her back to her hip, and she had to force herself to concentrate on his words. “You could never be invisible. Not to me.”
The husky murmur of his voice weakened her knees even more. “But I have been hiding,” she argued even though she’d rather disappear into Jake’s arms than show up at a party. “Even here with my family, I’ve been hiding the truth… I don’t want to do that anymore.”
Just like she didn’t want a pretend relationship with a pretend boyfriend anymore. Each too-quick beat of her heart seemed to hasten the moment until they wouldn’t have to pretend anymore. What would happen then? Where would the truth leave them? She needed to know if what she felt for Jake might be something real, something lasting…if there was a chance he might change his mind and decide he could be a family man after all.…
The faint moonlight was as unrevealing as Jake’s voice as he asked, “So you’re ready to tell them everything?”
“Yes. I still want to wait until after the party, but I’m ready.”
“You know your parents are going to be thrilled to have another grandchild to love and to spoil rotten.”
Was it her imagination or had Jake’s hand moved ever so slightly? Coming forward to brush against the barely-there swell of her baby bump that her high-waisted black dress hid from sight but not from touch?
“And you’re going to be a wonderful mother.”
This time there was no mistaking the stroke of his thumb across her belly in a touch so tender, yet so seductive, her entire body trembled. “Jake…”
She tried to say more, but her voice caught, and the one word was all she could manage. The name of the only man who could leave her weak in the knees and break her heart at the same time.
“And this little kid,” he started, his voice so rough he had to clear his throat before he added, “he’
s gonna be so lucky to have you.”
But would Sophia be lucky enough to have Jake?
Couldn’t he see he’d left a spot open in the picture he’d painted? A place only he could fill?
Afraid he’d pull away if she pressed too hard, Sophia clung to the moment, to the tenuous connection of Jake’s hand cradling her unborn baby. “So you think it’s a boy, too?” she whispered.
“Yeah, a little boy with dark eyes like his mother…”
Not the icy blue of his father.
Jake didn’t have to say the words for Sophia to know they were there. Right between them where she feared they always would be. The tightrope she felt she’d been walking narrowed to a razor’s edge, the blade already cutting deep. The ache of it burned behind her eyelids and scalded her throat. But maybe the old saying was true—maybe this too would make her stronger. “Something else that being here has helped me figure out—I can’t change the past. And I don’t want to. I want this baby, Jake,” she insisted, her voice breaking on his name and the knowledge of how much she wanted him, too. “Boy or girl. Brown eyes or blue, I love this baby.”
“I know you do.”
“But it’s too much, isn’t it?”
Too much to expect Jake, who’d already warned her he wasn’t a family man, to even consider a real relationship with a woman carrying another man’s child. But just when she thought Jake would pull away, when she’d already braced for the loss of his hand, her lone support on that teetering edge, he slid both arms around her waist. Pulling her tight until her baby was sheltered between them.
“This baby is part of you. Boy or girl. Brown eyes or blue,” he echoed. “That’s all that matters.”
Sophia thought there might have been a time or two in her life when she’d been less inclined to spend a few hours with a rowdy birthday crowd, but she couldn’t think of a single one as she followed Jake through the crowd at Sullivan’s Bar. A baseball game and sports highlights played on the overhead televisions while eighties rock blared from the jukebox. The stage in the corner, reserved for a house band or karaoke, was blessedly empty, but a microphone stand under a lone spotlight stood at the ready.
Jake shot an apologetic look over his shoulder before he leaned close to shout, “I’m trying to find a table.”
“Don’t bother. This place is always packed, and on a night like tonight…”
On a night like tonight, Sophia wanted to be somewhere quiet and intimate. That same desire shone in Jake’s eyes, and as their gazes locked, the crowd, the televisions and the music all faded away, and for a moment, only the two of them existed.
“We were wondering if the two of you would make it.” Sam clapped Jake on the shoulder, breaking into their insular world and letting the bar’s noisy atmosphere rush back in.
“I’m always up for a good party.”
“Me, too, man,” her brother agreed, missing the wry tone behind the words and the look she and Jake shared.
“Where’s the guest of honor?” Sophia asked, unable to spot Billy Cummings, the sheriff’s son, in the crowd.
“Over there.” Drew pointed to a group of guys gathered around blond-haired Billy near the polished walnut and brass-trimmed bar. A cheer went up as they raised their glasses in a toast and Billy downed a long drink.
“Looks like he’s having a good time.”
“You know Billy. Any reason to party. Speaking of parties, are we all set for Mom and Dad’s?” Drew asked.
“I think so. You’re taking them out to tour the newest house you’re building, so that should give us plenty of time to set up the tables and decorations. Sam, you’ll be there to help, right?” At his nod, she added, “I ordered the cake today, and I’m going to call Rolly’s to give the final head count for the food tomorrow before I go into work at The Hope Chest.”
She took a deep breath and exhaled on a sigh of relief as she realized how close they were to pulling off this surprise. “I don’t think Mom and Dad suspect a thing. They’re going to be so excited. But—”
“But what?” Jake asked. “Sounds like you’ve thought of everything.”
“Everything except a present,” she confessed guiltily. “I was going to mail them a gift from St. Louis, but once I decided to make the trip home, I thought I’d find something here. So far, I’m coming up empty.”
“You know just being here is the best present you could give them,” Drew said, giving her the all-knowing big brother gaze.
“I know they’re glad I’m home—”
“Ecstatic is more like it,” Sam chimed in.
“They worry, you know.”
Yeah, she knew. The sinking feeling was all too familiar.
“But you’ve changed, little sis. I can see it, and I’m sure the folks can, too.”
The acknowledgement wasn’t something she expected or was even 100 percent sure she believed. “I—you really think so?”
“Just coming back here and facing the past shows you’ve changed. Add in all you’ve done for the anniversary party and going back to work at The Hope Chest…” Drew shrugged. “You’ve grown up.”
Sam sighed. “I suppose this means I can’t call you Fifi anymore, huh?”
Touched by her brothers’ words, Sophia gave a watery laugh. “You know, I think I’d miss it if you stopped.”
Her brothers shared a look, wrapped her in a group hug and took turns saying, “Welcome home, Fifi! We’ve missed you, Fifi!”
Laughing at their antics, Sophia couldn’t remember when she’d last felt so carefree. Probably not since the time when she hadn’t minded being her big brothers’ little sister—their Fifi. Amid the teasing, Sophia caught Jake’s eye. This was what he wanted for her and her baby. Not her family’s protection because she couldn’t take care of herself, but their laughter and their love. And it was everything she wanted for Jake, too. Everything she could give Jake if only he would let her.
“I’ve missed you guys, too, and I’m glad to be home.”
Home, a word that would always mean Clearville for Sophia. But she pushed that realization aside for now. “We do still need to come up with a present for Mom and Dad, though.”
“Nick was talking about the three of us going in together. Might as well be the four of us instead,” Sam suggested.
“What are you getting them?”
Drew huffed a sigh. “That’s still up for debate. We can’t agree on anything.”
“I told you I know a guy who has a vintage bike like the one Dad had when he was a teenager—”
“Forget about the motorcycle, Sam,” Drew cut in with an exasperation that told Sophia her brothers had had this argument many times before. “Anyway, assuming the four of us can agree, we’ll all pitch in.”
“I don’t suppose Nick’s coming tonight?” Her oldest brother’s presence always added an element of tension, but Sophia worried about the way he’d secluded himself and Maddie since the divorce.
Sam shook his head. “Nope. It’s getting harder and harder to drag him away from that hole.”
“Hey, I helped him build that ‘hole,’” Drew protested, referring to the cabin outside of town he and Nick had built as one of Drew’s first construction projects.
“You did too good of a job. Maybe if Nick wasn’t so comfortable sitting at home, we’d see him out more.”
“Way I see it, Nick’s gotta start taking some responsibility for his own misery. We all feel bad for the way things ended with Carol, but it’s not our fault.” Drew’s gaze singled out Sophia as he repeated, “Nick doesn’t have the right to take his anger out on you, Sophia. We should have made that clear a long time ago, and I’m sorry we didn’t. You made a choice to leave, but no way does that make you anything like his ex. Right, Sam?”
Caught up in watching a grand slam replay on a screen above the bar, Sam rejoined the conversation with a distracted, “Never said it did…”
“But we never said it didn’t,” Drew stressed.
“Huh?”
Her youngest brother’s confusion was enough to make Sophia feel like she’d stepped into a comedy skit. Still, she found their somewhat clumsy, yet endearing support touching and leaned forward to give them each another hug. “Thank you both. Now, go have a good time.”
“Only if you do the same,” Drew stipulated.
Sam gave in a little easier. “First round’s on me!” he called as he grabbed Drew and pulled him toward the bar.
“You should go,” she told Jake. “Knowing Sam and Drew, they’ll expect you to buy one of the rounds whether you’re drinking or not, so you might as well.”
He hesitated for a moment before saying, “Maybe I’ll have a beer. Do you want anything?”
“Just a sparkling water.”
Sophia had a good idea that Jake had played a part in her brothers’ sudden apology, much in the same way her dad used to make them shake hands as kids and say sorry after one fight or another.
“Families are forever,” Vince would say, “so you might as well learn to like each other.”
Families are forever…she’d taken that for granted growing up. Had even foolishly distanced herself from the people closest to her, knowing all along they would be waiting for her when she finally came home.
Jake had never had that sense of security. She could see how perfectly he fit into her family, but childhood had taught him he couldn’t trust that closeness. When he’d told her how the search for his father ended in tragedy, the pain and resignation in his eyes revealed that he’d given up on finding the family he wanted. Jake couldn’t change his past anymore than she could change her own, but was there a chance that she could change his mind about a family in his future?
Chapter Eleven
Sophia watched as the crowd around the bar seemed to part as Jake neared. Dressed in charcoal-colored slacks and a slate-blue dress shirt, he looked amazing. The sleeves were rolled back to reveal tanned, muscular forearms and a stainless-steel watch on his left wrist. Amid a sea of T-shirts and blue jeans, he moved with a confident ease.
Her Fill-In Fiancé Page 15
