“Most of the ones I’ve seen are,” she said and swept out the door.
I stood there, slowly wiping my hands. Josh had grown up in the same dysfunctional environment as Stephanie, but I’d never thought he was jaded about marriage. With his silence on the topic lately, though, I had to wonder if all the dysfunction had affected him, too.
I crumpled the paper towel and tossed it into the trash, which was where I needed to put my worries, too. All that should be on your mind is skating.
****
THE CROWD ROARED, DROWNING out the music, and I shivered from the goosebumps covering my arms. The skating, the emotion, the atmosphere… everything had been perfect. It was exactly how I envisioned our final nationals performance.
“What are you watching?” Josh asked as he came out of the bathroom, his hair still glistening from the shower.
I propped up on my elbows and turned down the volume on my phone. “Em and Chris’s nationals free skate here in 2001. It was one of the greatest skates I’ve ever seen and the most electric atmosphere I’ve ever experienced.”
Josh sat on the end of the bed and peered at the tiny screen, where Sergei was hugging a sobbing Em.
“Were you crying in the stands?” He smiled.
“I was. I was bawling.”
I actually had a little lump in my throat watching now and recalling the energy in the building that night.
“That can easily be us tomorrow afternoon,” Josh said.
I stared at the video. Em and Chris’s near-perfect scores came up, and they were both wide-eyed with shock and glee as they embraced in the kiss and cry. The announcer’s voice couldn’t be heard over the audience’s screaming. God, I wanted that to be us tomorrow so badly.
“We’ve put in so much work, and I’ve come so close before.” I looked up at Josh. “We have to get our storybook ending, right?”
“I believe what may seem like an impossible dream can very much come true. The fact that you’re here with me right now is proof.”
I smiled and soaked in the adoration in his eyes. There was never a second with Josh that I didn’t feel loved. I kissed his arm and nuzzled my nose to his warm skin, and he bent and buried his lips in my hair.
“There’s something I want to give you.” He got up and went to his suitcase. “I was going to wait until after we skated, but…”
My heart thundered as Josh dug under the clothes in his bag. Is this the moment? I scrambled to sit up, and I touched my ring finger. Would it no longer be empty in a few minutes?
Josh turned around with a flat, square something in his hands, and I almost laughed at how he kept unknowingly faking me out. He had no idea how much he was torturing me.
He returned to my side and handed me the wrapped gift. “I’ve had this for a long time, but I thought this weekend would be the perfect time to give it to you.”
I tore away the gold paper and flipped over the picture frame. Two photos filled the front of the red frame. The one on the right I recognized immediately — a shot of Josh and me in our Team USA jackets at our first competition together. The picture on the left also showed us in our team jackets, but we were teenagers. It took me a few seconds to place the scene, and when I did I looked up at Josh with disbelief.
“How did you get this picture? And did you crop out the old lady?” I laughed.
“The day after we took it I—“
Josh’s phone rang on the bed, and he leaned back to see the screen. “It’s one of my students’ moms. Sorry, I’d better get it.”
“Yeah, go ahead.”
While he answered the call, I gazed at the photo and smiled as memories of that morning at nationals in Atlanta ten years ago flooded over me.
“What do you want to do today to celebrate?” Mom asked as we finished breakfast in the hotel restaurant. “A national championship deserves something very special.”
I smiled and drank the last of my chocolate milk. My partner Mark and I had finally reached the top of the podium, winning the junior title in pairs. It had been the highlight of my fifteen-year life.
“Maybe we can go shopping… and look at iPods?” I gave Mom a hopeful grin.
“We might be able to do that.”
I did a jig in my seat and folded my linen napkin. “I’m gonna get some more fruit.”
I headed over to the buffet but stopped when I saw Josh Tucker, one of my competitors, looking at the fruit selection. He was a year older than me and SO freaking cute with his shaggy dark hair and clear blue eyes. But we’d hardly spoken since we’d played Seven Minutes in Heaven (or rather, Seven Minutes in Hell) two years ago. I’d wanted him to be my first kiss so badly, but all we’d shared were seven minutes of near silence. Even though Josh was a super quiet guy, I’d hoped he would make just a little move on me. I’d gotten nothing.
Normally I didn’t go out of my way to talk to him because I still felt weird about that night, but I was feeling especially confident with my new champion status. I grabbed a small plate and hopped up to Josh’s side.
“I’ll fight you for that last piece of cantaloupe.”
He looked startled, and he fumbled the silver tongs and dropped them on the bar, causing a loud clang. “You can umm… you can have it.”
“I was just joking,” I said with a little laugh.
He echoed my laugh but with a nervous edge. “I know, but you… it’s yours.”
He offered me the tongs, keeping his head down. I reached for them, and our fingers brushed, sparking tingles from my scalp to my toes. Josh finally looked up at me, for only a few seconds, but the light in his eyes was enough for the tingles to flush my cheeks.
“Thanks.” I dipped my own head, suddenly not feeling so confident anymore.
“Excuse me.” An older lady tapped the arm of Josh’s Team USA jacket. “Can I get a picture with you and your partner?”
She motioned to me, and Josh and I both stammered while talking over each other.
“I’m not—“
“She’s not—“
“I’m not his partner,” I finished.
“Oh, sorry about that. Too many faces to keep straight,” she said.
“We can still take a picture with you,” Josh said.
I raised my eyebrows, but the lady was already handing her camera to the elderly man with her. Josh and I set down our plates, and I waited for the woman to stand between us, but Josh led her to his opposite side so he was in the middle.
Next to me.
He hesitated a moment and then stretched his arm across my shoulders. It was wiry but solid. I inched closer and curved mine around his waist, slotting perfectly into the nook of his body.
Holy Romeo, he smelled good.
The scent of his cologne was slightly sweet and made me light-headed. I barely registered the camera flash firing. I was too busy picturing Josh putting his other arm around me and giving me the kiss he owed me.
“Thank you, kids,” the lady said.
Josh slowly let his arm fall away from my shoulders, and he shuffled backward and shoved his hands in his pockets.
“That was hilarious,” he said. “I don’t look anything like Mark.”
“And I sure don’t look like Stephanie,” I said of his partner and sister. I was about to add, “Don’t act like her either” because she was a first-class snob, but I stopped myself from being rude.
Josh’s eyes focused on mine, and it felt as if he was saying something to me he couldn’t say out loud. From the way he was looking at me, it had to be important. My pulse picked up more speed every second he waited to speak.
“Congratulations, by the way,” he said.
That didn’t seem like what he’d wanted to tell me, but I smiled anyway.
“Thanks. I saw you guys had a good comeback.”
He shrugged and looked down at his sneakers. “It wasn’t our best competition.”
“Josh!” Stephanie marched over to us and gave me a scowl. “What are you doing? We have to go.”
“Oh… yeah… I forgot.” He turned back to me. “We have a meeting.”
My heart sank that he was leaving just as we’d actually started talking. Should I hint we could talk more later? How was I going to smoothly pull that off? And with Stephanie giving me the stink eye?
I chickened out and said quietly, “Have fun.”
They walked away, and Josh glanced quickly at me over his shoulder. Stephanie didn’t give me another look (nor had she congratulated me, but that didn’t shock me). She was so easy to read. Unlike her brother.
I picked up my plate and plopped the slice of cantaloupe onto it. Standing so close to Josh had made me wonder for the millionth time what kissing him would’ve been like. He was so quiet and gentle that I imagined his kiss would be soft and sweet. The perfect first kiss. Not like the one my Homecoming date had given me. He’d practically cracked my teeth he’d crashed his mouth into mine so hard.
Why was I even still thinking about this? It had taken Josh and me two years to say more than five words to each other. At the rate we were going, we’d be thirty by the time we got to first base.
I laughed to myself as I remembered how frustrated I’d been. If only I’d known then how incredible our first kiss and every kiss after that would be. All the years of waiting had just made them sweeter.
Josh hung up his call and put the phone on the desk. “Sorry, it was a scheduling issue.”
“That’s okay. It gave me time to take a trip down memory lane.”
“Before the phone rang, I was about to say I saw the lady at breakfast again the next day, and driven by my massive crush on you, I asked her if she’d send me a copy of the photo. I told her we were friends but didn’t get to see each other much since we lived on opposite sides of the country. I’m not sure if she bought it or if she thought I was a total creeper.” He laughed.
“That is amazing. I can’t believe you’ve had this picture for ten years.”
“I kept it in a safe place where Stephanie would never find it. Whenever I’d choreograph programs in my head and I’d imagine skating them with you, I’d look at it and remember how you felt next to me. I never gave up on the dream of having you that close to me again.”
The lump returned to my throat, and I curled my fingers into Josh’s hair. Who needed a ring when I had more love than I could ask for? I kissed his lips, smiling against them.
“Closer than you could’ve ever imagined,” I said.
He grinned and smoothed his hands around my waist. “If I’d known at sixteen what we’d be doing now, I would’ve self-combusted.”
I giggled. “So, why did you wait until now to show me the picture?”
“When we became partners I got the idea to pair it with our photo from our first event, and then I decided to wait and give it to you at our last nationals. I thought it was the perfect symbol of how far we’ve come and how anything is possible.”
I picked up the frame and smiled as I looked again at the photos. “And you knew I needed that reminder now more than ever.”
“Is it helping?” He hugged me against him with one arm.
I connected with his eyes and gave him another kiss, and then I slipped off the bed with the frame in hand. I placed it next to our Daruma on the nightstand and went back to Josh, straddling his legs so we sat face to face.
“I love all the symbols you’ve given me that remind me to have faith. It’s been really hard for me to forget all the disappointment I’ve had, but I’ve realized one very important thing.” I tugged lightly on his T-shirt. “You and I were always meant to be here, so the disappointment happened for a reason. And I know with all my heart that tomorrow we are going to do everything we can to make our dream come true.”
Chapter Seven
BREATHE.
It was crazy I had to tell myself to do that basic function, but my nervous energy had thrown everything out of whack. Just seconds away from the six-minute warm-up, I stood in a crowd of my competitors, smothering from sparkles. I closed my eyes and shut out the noise and the shininess. Breathing slowly in and out, I concentrated on Josh’s strong hands on my shoulders and the warmth of his presence behind me.
My eyes opened to see a TV camera pointed at my face, so I stared straight ahead at the ice. I couldn’t think about the millions of people watching at home, wondering if I was going to finally reach my seemingly unreachable star.
“Would the following couples please take the ice…”
Josh and I were announced last since we were skating last, and the audience saved their loudest and longest cheers for us. We flew around the rink in our back crossover warm-up, weaving between the three other teams. Josh popped me into the air for our triple twist, and the cheers fired up even louder.
We slowed to find a pocket of space for our next element, and I looked around us. In our teal costumes we stood out as a splash of color among all the black and white worn by the rest of the group. I knew our skating would stand out, too, as long as I found a way to land the triple Salchow, the jump I hadn’t done cleanly all week.
Gliding on back edges, we slipped between two teams and completed a huge throw triple flip. I held the landing a few extra moments, branding the feeling of success in my mind. I needed to duplicate that feeling on the Salchow.
We skated past Em and Sergei, and their encouraging nods and smiles stayed with me as we built up speed for the side-by-side jumps. They know you can do this. YOU know you can do this.
I pushed off the ice and spun tightly in the air. All my muscles responded without any thinking on my part, and before I knew it my right blade had connected with the ice. My knee wobbled with excitement as I realized I’d conquered my nemesis, but I stayed upright.
Yes!
Josh was smiling beside me, and I put my hand in his with a flourish. We stroked along the edge of the rink and stopped in front of Em and Sergei. As we sipped from our water bottles, Sergei said, “That was perfect.”
“I knew I could do it.” I slapped the boards.
“And you’ll do it again in the program,” Em said. “Just as easily.”
“Should we run through the toes next?” Josh asked.
Sergei nodded. “Then the loop.”
We set our bottles on the boards and reentered the busy scene on the ice. When two other teams moved out to talk to their coaches, we took the opportunity to carve a path across the rink for our side-by-side triple toe-double toe combination. We picked into the ice and rotated in sync on both jumps, landing with matching clean edges. We followed that with a solid throw triple loop, and I was practically giddy. I wished we could skate first even though last was the premium spot. I didn’t want to lose the empowered feeling I currently had while waiting for everyone else to skate.
As we closed in on the final seconds of the warm-up, we practiced one of our lifts and finished with our pair spin. The announcer directed, “Couples, please leave the ice,” and I let everyone else go ahead of me through the door. I wanted to feel the ice under my feet as long as possible.
Josh and I snapped on our guards and followed Em and Sergei backstage to a tucked-away nook. Roxanne and Evan went in the opposite direction but not before Roxanne gave me one of her bug-eyed death stares she usually reserved for her partner. If she thought she was being intimidating she was wrong. She just looked ridiculous.
Em helped me into my jacket so I could stay warm, and I started my standard pacing routine. Josh stood in one spot, jiggling his arms and legs ever so slightly, as he lost himself in his thoughts.
I began visualizing our program, and I could hear the music of Muse as if there was a stereo in my head. The actual recording we were using for our free skate was very special. The Cape Cod Symphony had performed the piece for us with Josh accompanying them on piano. Not many skaters in the history of the sport could say they’d skated to their own musical performance. Since Josh had also choreographed the program, his creative touch was all over it.
When I’d mentally run through
the whole program, I flexed my knees and turned to Em and Sergei. I had to start chatting before my mind went places it shouldn’t go.
“I talked to Liza earlier, and she sounded a little shaky,” I said.
“I could see her tightening up at practice yesterday.” Sergei shook his head. “Even though she has a huge lead, she’s worried about putting up a big score tonight. I keep telling her not to think about keeping pace with the Russian girls. Just skate.”
“That’s really the best advice for all of us.” I smoothed my fingers over my braided bun. “Just skate.”
“It’s the only thing totally in your control,” Em said.
“I remember you telling me that at my first nationals.”
She smiled. “Some pearls of advice are timeless.”
Had it really been thirteen years since I’d done this for the first time? I still felt like that twelve-year-old girl in these moments before taking the ice. So vulnerable and so terrified of making a mistake. Even though I had every intention of fighting my butt off the entire four minutes, ice was slippery and there were no guarantees of success. The perfect jumps I’d done in the warm-up seemed so long ago now.
“Just a few more minutes,” Sergei said as he looked at his watch.
Josh and I didn’t have to speak. We came together like magnets and put our arms around each other. Usually we shared a few words, but today our embrace spoke for us. We held on tight, giving each other the silent assurances that only our love could inspire.
When we finally let go, we began the slow walk to the ice. Every step we took raised my adrenaline level, and I felt like I had been plugged into an electrical socket when we stepped out of the tunnel. Roxanne and Evan were still skating, so we hung back and faced away from the ice to stay focused on ourselves. I couldn’t help but hear the loud applause at the end of the program, though.
Em took my jacket, and I rubbed my bare arms and patted my legs. Get me onto the ice. Let’s do this.
I kept my head down so I wouldn’t see Roxanne’s face, but I heard her squeal as she and Evan met their coaches at the door. A larger part of me tensed, and I hurried to take off my guards and set my blades to the ice.
Taking the Ice (Ice Series Book 3) Page 6
