“They usually share so nicely. I’d love our kids to get along as well as they do.”
“Our kids.” Josh wore the same little smile he’d had earlier, and I found myself mirroring him.
“Speaking of, you looked like a natural with Noelle,” I said.
He stretched out next to me on the bed. “I must’ve learned it from all the family sitcoms I watched growing up.”
I recalled the conversation we’d had with Stephanie at nationals about their childhood. Being so busy with Olympic preparations since then, I hadn’t brought up the subject, but I’d wanted to talk to Josh about it.
“Your dad wasn’t much of a role model,” I said, setting my bowl on the nightstand.
“He was a role model for how not to raise a kid.”
I chewed on my lip, unsure if I should ask Josh the question that had been on my mind. “Would you tell me about Bob?”
His head dipped, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I wish Steph hadn’t mentioned that.”
“You don’t have to be embarrassed. You haven’t heard half the goofy stuff I did when I was young.”
“I just don’t want you to think that I needed major therapy.”
“I don’t think that.” I caressed his arm. “We all have our issues.”
He was quiet for a minute. “I don’t remember exactly when I made up Bob, but it was when we were at the beach house during the summer. I was maybe five or six.”
“You said your dad wasn’t there much because he was always working.”
“Yeah, it was just me, my mom, and Steph. And Teresa when my mom went out shopping or to play tennis or whatever. Steph didn’t like the sand, so she’d never leave the blanket, but I was all about building sand castles.” He picked at the bandage on his hand. “I just remember telling Bob my ideas and him helping me.”
A slow burn crept into my throat, and I swallowed hard. The image of Josh as a lonely little boy was too much for my heart to handle.
“I guess I got so used to talking to him that I started doing it other places, too. I’d pretend he was there when I skated and when I practiced piano. It makes sense now because my dad hardly ever came to the rink or to my recitals.”
I wanted to say something, but the damn tears were choking me. I reached up to blot the corners of my eyes, and Josh lifted his head and caught me.
“Please don’t cry.” He touched my cheek. “This is another reason I didn’t want to tell you about it.”
“I’m sorry. It just makes me so angry and so sad that you didn’t have the love from your parents that you deserved.” I caught my breath and gazed into his beautiful soul. “How could anyone not adore you?”
He didn’t speak, but his glistening eyes said it all. He sat up and pulled me into his arms. His hands stroked my back and my hair, but I sensed he needed the comfort as much as I did. I pressed my mouth to his shoulder and kissed his warm skin, and I slowly raised my head to look at him.
“I wish you’d had my parents,” I said. “I mean, not my exact parents because then we’d be brother and sister, and that would not be cool.”
We both relaxed into laughter, lightening the mood, and I said, “Parents like mine is what I meant to say.”
Josh curled a lock of my hair around his finger. “All those years I crushed on you, one of the things I noticed about you was how happy you looked with your family. It was one of the many things that drew me to you.”
God, it was so unfair. His parents more than had the means to give him their time and attention, but they preferred to substitute material things for emotional sustenance. I hadn’t gotten everything I wanted growing up, but I always had the security of my parents’ love.
“The way my mom and dad were there for me… that’s going to be us. You, me, and our kids.” I placed my hand over his heart. “I promise you will never, ever feel alone again. You have me. All of me.” I leaned in and brushed my lips against his. “Forever.”
Chapter Twelve
I STEPPED OUT ONTO THE BALCONY of the dorm room and took in the sun-splashed splendor of the Olympic Village below. Our dormitories bordered the calm waters of the Black Sea, and palm trees dotted the landscape, accentuating the Village’s tropical feel. The temperature was that of a perfect spring day, so I was proudly wearing one of my new Sochi 2014 T-shirts I’d gotten during team processing at our layover in Munich. We’d received enough swag to fill two suitcases, and Liza and I had already managed to spread our new wardrobe all over our large room.
The Opening Ceremony was a couple of days away, so we had plenty of time to practice and get acclimated to our surroundings before we competed. The pairs short program for the team event was being held the night before the Opening Ceremony, but thanks to Roxanne, Josh and I didn’t have to prepare for that.
I heard a knock on the door, and I greeted Em with a smile. She was also dressed head to toe in Olympic gear.
“Where’s Liza?” she asked.
“She went down to the dining hall. I’m waiting for Josh to wake up from his nap.”
Em’s phone trilled, and she read the screen. “Aunt Deb’s texting me pics of the kids doing their schoolwork. They keep asking why they have to stay in a hotel and can’t be here with Sergei and me.”
“Damn Olympic Committee and all their rules.”
“I think it’s probably better they’re not here because we could never take care of them and also give you, Josh and Liza our full attention.”
I led Em onto the balcony and watched a group of Dutch athletes zoom past the building on their orange bikes. I’d met some of them earlier after Josh and I had played pool with a mix of Swedish and Finnish hockey players. Over the course of my career I’d competed at more international events than I could remember, but I’d never been in a melting pot of nations this big.
“I’ve been so excited about just being here that I hadn’t thought much about the actual competition, but when we were at practice this morning and I saw all the media, it dawned on me how many millions of people will be watching. It’s so many more than I’ve ever had watching me skate.”
“Don’t think about that. I’ve been there and done that at my first Olympics. At the absolute worst moment, in fact.” Em laughed and then turned serious. “What you have to do is realize the ice here is the same as it is at home, and everything outside the boards is of no consequence. Not the people in the stands, not the hoopla on the streets, and not the people around the world watching on TV.”
“I wish we could’ve had the team event to get our feet wet. The other top pairs will be able to get those initial Olympic-ice jitters out of the way.”
“I want you to know that Sergei and I fought really hard for you and Josh. We went back and forth with the fed and did everything we could to plead your case.”
“I know you always have our backs.”
“I just wanted to make sure. After what happened four years ago, I don’t want you to ever question our commitment as your coaches.”
“Em, I told you I completely understood the decision you and Sergei made back then. And how could I not love you for it now? You changed my whole life by bringing Josh to the Cape.”
She leaned back against the balcony railing and pulled a few flyaway hairs from her face. “There’s something I’ve never told you about that decision. After Sergei and I met with Stephanie and Josh, I had my phone in my hand, ready to tell them we couldn’t coach them. Josh’s number was punched in and all I had to do was press dial, but Sergei stopped me. He convinced me we needed to think more about it.”
“You were really that close to saying no?”
“Another few seconds and Josh would’ve never stepped foot on the Cape.”
A shudder rolled through me as I considered the awful possibility. “That is a truly terrifying thought.”
“It’s crazy how one moment in time can completely change the course of people’s lives.”
“If you’d made that call, Josh would probably be in law s
chool at UCLA right now. I’d like to believe he would’ve found a way to finally reach out to me even if we hadn’t been training together, but who knows what would’ve happened?”
“He might still be watching YouTube videos of you and dating you in his fantasies.” Em smiled.
I laughed. “Thankfully, we’ll never have to know.”
“I couldn’t let you keep giving me credit for bringing Josh into your life when Sergei is really the one responsible. He saved the day.”
“So, I should give him a super big hug next time I see him.”
“Yes, he definitely deserves it.”
I smiled and wrapped my arms around her. “I know someone else who deserves a hug, too.”
“Me? But I almost ruined everything.”
“This is for the last fourteen years. If you hadn’t been such an amazing coach and friend to me, so many things in my life would’ve been different. And not for the better.”
She hugged me in return with added emotion, and when she stepped back she grasped my hands. “Don’t tell anyone I said this, but you’ve always been my favorite student. I’m not sure what I’m going to do without you around. You’ve been with me since the first day I started coaching.”
Tears pooled in my eyes as our time together flashed before me. We’d experienced every possible high and low, and I wouldn’t change any of it. As much as I’d remember the big competitions, what I’d treasure most were the little moments. Things like having a funny fashion show at a shop in Estonia or making up dance moves when hip hop music played at the rink.
“It really is the end of an era, isn’t it?”
“If you’re trying to make me bawl, you’re succeeding,” she said, her voice cracking.
We laughed and cried at the same time, and I said, “I’m still going to need you in my new era. Actually, I have a very important position in mind if you say yes.”
She gave me a quizzical look, and I wiped the water from my eyes. “We haven’t set an exact date yet, but would you be my matron of honor this summer?”
“Oh my gosh, of course I’ll say yes!” She hugged me again. “Are you still thinking of doing a beach wedding?”
“That’s the plan. As soon as we get home, I have to start getting organized and making calls.”
“Anything you need help with, you know I’m here.” Her face scrunched with worry. “Do you think Josh’s mom will try to butt in on the planning?”
“She might not care about being involved since we’ll be out of the limelight once the Olympics are over, but if she does try to make things difficult, I’m not having it. If she’d been any kind of a decent mother to Josh, I’d gladly listen to her opinions, but she dropped that ball a long time ago.”
“That is unfortunately the sad truth.”
“We’re meeting up with her tomorrow night at the P&G Family Home. Josh and I were asked to do a little interview with our families, but he isn’t telling her about it. We’re shooting at eight, and he told his mom to meet us at nine. He invited Mrs. Cassar to be in the video instead.”
“I bet that means a lot to her. She really loves him like a son.”
“Josh and I will both be fatherless in the video. My dad’s still got that bad cold, so he’s going to stay at the hotel and rest up for the Opening Ceremony.”
Em scratched her chin. “So, you guys won’t be in the Team USA cheer box for the men’s and the pairs’ shorts tomorrow night.”
“We were planning on it, but then this came up. We’ll definitely be there Saturday when Liza skates.”
“I hope Mrs. Tucker has calmed down about the team event decision?”
A light breeze wisped off the sea, and I edged closer to the railing to feel the sun’s warmth. “She’s still getting her little comments in, but she’s mostly been harping on our engagement and how Josh should’ve waited to propose here. Specifically, on the ice after our long program so the whole world could see it live, and we could finagle some kind of endorsement out of the publicity.”
“She has a one-track mind, doesn’t she?”
“Josh said if he’d tattooed dollar signs on his head when he was a kid, she might’ve paid more attention to him.”
Em let out a dry laugh. “That is another sad truth.”
****
I LOOKED AT MY watch and noticed Josh doing the same. We’d been sitting in the main gathering room of the Family Home for almost an hour. The crew filming the video of us had arrived late, and our interviewer, a girl named Pepper with spiked pink hair, was still asking us questions. If they didn’t hurry, Mrs. Tucker was going to bust in on us, and we’d be subjected to her unjustified indignation over being excluded.
“I see you ladies visited the complimentary manicure station,” Pepper said to Mom and Mrs. Cassar.
“We’re all set to cheer on Team USA.” Mrs. Cassar flashed her red, white, and blue nails. Her thumbs were painted with stars and stripes.
“Josh, why don’t you talk about how Mrs. Cassar has helped you on your Olympic journey.”
“Without her, I wouldn’t have had an Olympic journey. Besides the incredible financial help she’s given me, she’s also been a constant source of encouragement and support. I didn’t know the true meaning of generosity until I met her.” He gave her a warm smile. “She has a heart of gold.”
Mrs. Cassar was a tough one to make emotional, but I spied her eyes getting misty. She patted Josh’s hand but was speechless. That’s when I knew he’d really gotten to her.
“Mrs. Cassar, what’s been your favorite part of going on this journey with Josh?” Pepper asked.
She sniffled and cleared her throat. “Watching him grow into the man he’s become. He was a great kid when I met him, but he’s grown so much since then. I couldn’t be more proud to be considered his family.”
Josh pulled her in for a hug, and the cameraman zoomed in on their embrace. Mom and I exchanged teary glances, but I froze when Mrs. Tucker entered my sight line. She had eyes on our table and was intently processing the scene.
Oh, hell.
“I think we have everything we need,” Pepper said. “It’ll be up tomorrow on—“
“What is all this?” Mrs. Tucker asked as she stalked up to the table.
“It was just a quick interview,” Josh said.
“Well, if it’s about your family then I should be in it.” She turned to Pepper. “I’m Josh’s mother.”
Pepper’s mouth hung open, and she looked a little scared. As most people did when they met Mrs. Tucker.
“They still have to talk to a bunch of other athletes.” Josh gave Pepper a look that said she’d better not disagree.
“Yes. Sorry. We’re on a tight schedule.” She picked up her messenger bag. “Thanks again for your time. You can see the video online tomorrow.”
She and the cameraman rushed off, and Mrs. Tucker helped herself to the empty chair at our table.
“Did you know you were going to be filmed?” she asked.
Josh hesitated and picked up his bottled water, avoiding her gaze. “No, it just came up.”
He was too kind to hurt her feelings by telling her he hadn’t wanted her there. If she was even capable of having feelings.
“Roxanne and Evan are about to skate.” I pointed to one of the many TVs hanging on the wall, grateful to steer the conversation elsewhere.
“I hope they embarrass themselves so the federation sees what a stupid decision it made,” Mrs. Tucker said.
Josh squeezed his bottle, making a loud cracking noise. “Can you please let it go?”
“How can you not be angry that you aren’t the ones skating right now?”
“We were angry, but it’s done and we’re not dwelling on it. We’re ecstatic just to be here at all.”
Mom and Mrs. Cassar both gasped, and I looked up at the TV. While I’d been watching Josh and his mom argue, Roxanne had splatted on the side-by-side jumps.
Great. Now we’re going to hear nothing but “I told you so.”
“Let’s see how they justify their decision now,” Mrs. Tucker said.
“It’s just one mistake,” I said. I couldn’t believe I was defending Roxanne.
No sooner had I spoken than Roxanne hit the ice again, that time on the throw triple flip.
“Now it’s two,” Mrs. Tucker said with what could only be described as an evil smile.
We watched the rest of the program in awkward silence. When Roxanne and Evan sat in the kiss and cry, their teammates gathered behind them, waving American flags and patriotic pom-poms. Liza patted Evan’s shoulder, but she didn’t go near Roxanne. I could see in her big blue eyes that she was fuming inside.
Mrs. Tucker excused herself and went over to the refreshments, and she wrangled one of the poor P&G reps into an extended conversation. After that she moved on to anyone else she could find who looked important. When the pairs event ended, Mom and Mrs. Cassar said they needed to start the long trek back to their hotel, so Josh went outside with them to make sure they got into a taxi safely. Mrs. Tucker finally returned to the table, and I shook my head. Once again she’d proven how little she cared about spending time with Josh. It was all about her, and I was so over it.
“How nice of you to join us,” I said sharply.
“Don’t pretend like you actually wanted me here tonight.”
“You’re absolutely right. I didn’t want you here and neither did Josh. He lied when he said the video wasn’t planned. It’s the reason we came here. He didn’t want you in it because he wouldn’t be able to find anything positive to say about your relationship. How sad is that?”
Her mouth set into a thin line, but I didn’t wait for her response. I had so much angry pressure building in my chest that I had to let it out.
“All Josh has wanted his whole life is a mother who loves him for who he is, not for the fame or prestige he can bring to your family. He needed a mother who would play with him as a child, and he needs one now who will genuinely support him. A mother who truly wants what’s best for him and wants to see him happy. You’ve done none of that. For twenty-six years you have epically failed. Luckily, Josh has finally found people who do give him all those things. So if you’re not going to be the caring and loving mother he deserves, if you’re going to continue to always put yourself first, then you should just stay the hell away because he doesn’t need any more of your bullshit.”
Taking the Ice (Ice Series Book 3) Page 11
