by Steve M.
“Yes, sir,” came a chorus of voices of young men and women.
“Allor the magnificent, or whatever they call him. He’s the key. We capture the king and control the entire board.”
“Remember when we used to do that on assignments?” said Eflin with a smile to Indira.
“My stomach would always get in knots,” replied Wingut.
“Really? Mine too,” replied Eflin.
“My first mission was delayed for almost twenty tox because I was in the toilet with cramps,” said Wingut.
“I threw up the first time I killed,” said Indira. “And cried.”
“I cried too,” said Eflin.
“Once we are on the planet, I am the only person with kill authority. The only one, girls and boys. Do you understand me?” Trill said with a sneer.
“Sir, yes sir,” came the chorus back to Trill’s smiling face.
“Sir, should we go in shielded?” asked one of the men on the team.
“No.”
“What about the quarantine?” the man asked in reply.
“That is a wholly owned construct of the History department. Besides, we’re going to wipe them. And don’t forget we will help this planet move towards meeting contact criteria once the culling is over,” replied Trill.
Please permit me to interrupt for just a moment to point out that when the entire population wake up without any memory and in a state much like a newborn baby, well, as you can imagine, survival rates will be rather slim. 92 percent will die. Any variance is down to the curiosity of those who wake up in the farming community.
“Captain. Please have the satellite systems start scanning for unununtrium,” said Trill.
“Yes, sir,” the man with the deep voice replied.
Unununtrium is a rare metal that is not naturally occurring in the universe. However, it is included in most advanced propulsion devices, electronic books, and bacterial suppositories. It is made from the death of its parent material, unununcrium, which only lives milliseconds before collapsing into unununtrium, a material with exceptional conductive and data-storage properties as well as being exceptionally badass in its attitude towards most problems associated with ingesting dirty water. The transformation from one element to another results in a rather loud popping sound, which scientists refer to as “unununfarting.”
“Sending to your screen, sir,” replied the captain.
“I’d like to see that,” said Wingut.
“Me too,” said Indira.
“Likewise,” said Eflin.
“Give it to everyone,” said Trill in an annoyed tone. He then bent one of his legs slightly like a girl in front of a camera. “OK. We’ve got a concentration. That’s where we go.”
“Yes, sir,” replied the captain.
“Ladies and gentlemen, if you would kindly meet me at the airlock. A new era beckons,” said Trill. He stood in the doorway of the bridge in a dramatic stance.
The tricky thing about an airlock is nothing at all. One big button. Still, as he stood in front of everyone in the airlock, Professor Trill forgot the most basic thing and ran towards the control panel on the hall, smacked the button hard with the palm of his hand, and then dove out of the spaceship without having activated his personal transportation device. He immediately recognized this problem as he emerged into the upper atmosphere over Earth 7, which happens to be devoid of oxygen, a necessary component for human life.
Most people would desperately turn on their PPS and their personal transportation device. But Professor Trill is not most people. He forgot about the personal protection suit entirely and spent all of his effort in activating his personal transportation device as he floated aimlessly away from the cruiser.
Everyone else stood at the edge of the spaceship, all of them now surrounded by their protective golden bowls, and stared at an idiot floating in space. But within a few tix Professor Trill managed to set everything right and turned around and waved, and everyone smiled as his golden bubble began to descend to the planet.
"Can you believe that shit?" asked Captain Erlog.
"Yes," replied Wingut with a smile.
As they descended to the planet, Eflin pointed to the horizon and another cruiser that was making a final backup deployment of satellites from the Psychology Department.
And while you think it’s been rough when you wake up with a hangover and aren’t sure where you are for a moment or two, I can assure you that waking up and not knowing sweet all must be many times more horrifying. Unless, of course, there are nipples involved. They seem to make everything a little less frightening under most circumstances.
CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
Allor and Ova were in one of the worst parts of the former Cult of Ceros. What it didn’t have in the fundamentals of life, it more than made up for with its prime resource: poverty.
Ova moved the remedium over the child’s stomach. She could see it move under the skin. The large piece of metal moved like it was pulled by a magnet in the remedium. Ova removed her knife from her belt. She looked at the mother and father.
“You will need to hold her very tightly. I have to gut her in order to get it out of her.”
A look of terror came to the parents’ faces.
“But that will kill her,” the mother said.
“Not with this,” said Ova, and she held up the remedium. “It heals immediately. I just have to open her up and get it out, then this will fix her right up after it’s out.”
The child was not as scared as her parents.
“This will hurt,” said Ova, looking at the dirty face of the girl.
“I know. But not for long, right?”
“Right,” replied Ova.
“Then I won’t hurt at all anymore?”
“That’s right,” said Ova. She looked over at Allor, who was helping an old man with a twisted leg.
“Need help?” he asked her.
“No. I think I’ve got it.”
She moved the remedium until the metal in the child’s stomach was as close to the skin as possible.
Then she stabbed the child.
CHAPTER SIXTY
The crowd in the square outside of the Temple of Allor watched the final descent into the square. They initially cheered because they believed it to be Allor. Trill thought they were glad to see him. They weren’t, and by the time they had landed, many had gone from welcoming to fearful.
“Good people of Earth 7,” said Professor Trill, using his comms bracelet to make his voice cast far across the crowd. “I bring you greetings from the stars,” he said, and pointed into the sky.
Trill and the rest of the landing team all stood in the center of the square with about two maatars between them and the crowd.
An old man pushed his way through the crowd.
“I don’t give a damned where you come from, I need you to fix my ass. It hurts really bad when I shit,” said the old man. “I can’t sit down for a hundred tox after. It was like when my oldest son was born. My wife had this for twenty or so revs. I’ve had this for hundreds. It makes me not want to live knowing that every morning I will spend a long time in pain before I can have the rest of my day.”
“I’m not here to fix your problems,” replied Trill. Then he stopped for a moment then started laughing. “Actually, I am, but not your ass problems, old man.”
“Then why should I worship you?”
“You shouldn’t. But you should listen to our suggestions on many things. We know much that can help you.”
“Professor Trill,” said Wingut. “I brought a remedium with me.”
“Oh, great,” said Trill with exasperation. Then, after a few seconds, remembering he was in command, he added, “Well, go ahead, then” which just served as a confirmation of what Wingut had already started getting ready to do.
“Sir, if you would please pull your pants down,” said Wingut. “And turn a little,” he added, and touched the man’s hips to pu
t him in position.
“Sir, if you would bend over please,” said Wingut. And the old man did. His ass was aimed directly in the line of sight of Professor Trill. If the old man suddenly got explosive diarrhea, Professor Trill would have been the main beneficiary, assuming preference.
“For hydrogen’s sake,” Trill yelled at Wingut. “You insolent bastard.” And this too was broadcast to the entire square.
“Oh, I feel it working. I feel it. It’s wonderful. I feel it,” yelled the old man with glee.
Wingut was smiling on the inside. When he finished fixing the old man’s hemorrhoids, an old woman walking with a cane hobbled forward.
“This is what that bastard Allor does,” said Trill. “Smug little bastard heals them and they worship him for it. Then he murders everyone in the capital city of a rival. Can’t wait to finally meet this asshole.”
The crowd started jeering at this affront to their god at his own temple. All of the landing team checked the setting of the PPSs, just in case.
“You might not have to wait long,” said Indira, and pointed into the sky at the two golden bubbles descending towards the temple. They entered via the balcony over the cliffs down to the river. It was a balcony where a succession problem had been sorted out for the earlier cult that constructed the temple. Loser bodies were left on the rocks far below as food for the vultures.
“Let’s go,” said Trill. And he bumped his PPS shield against Wingut’s shield for a moment then maintained the proper distance. Then he remembered he was the leader and moved quickly in front of the landing party.
They moved up the stairs and into the main temple. Many inside of the temple fled as they approached. Those that didn’t make it out were huddled in one of the corners, a couple of the children at the front of the crowd making threatening motions with their fists.
The curtains at the left side of the temple were pulled apart. Ova held them open as Allor walked through them holding a shiny metal cylinder over his head.
“I bring you stalemate, my new friends,” he said.
“What is that?” Trill looked at Wingut.
“The drive from a long-distance FTL freighter,” Wingut replied.
“So what? He’s missing the rest of the ship,” answered Trill.
“He is threatening to use it as a weapon,” said Eflin.
“Smart move,” said Indira. “We can’t get away fast enough.”
“Well done, young man. I’ve followed your career. Not as much as I should have. But I know your highlights.”
“Then you know about Pyramos,” said Allor, looking at Professor Trill.
“I know you are a mass murderer. One that kills a crowd and then heals the sick child. Yes, I know you as the contradiction that you are.”
“Earth 5, the Truman Decision. Lowest possible body count,” replied Allor.
“Oh my,” said Trill. “What have you been doing inside that lightweight brain of yours? Have you been filling it with things you shouldn’t know?”
“Excuse me,” said Wingut. “But perhaps your example doesn’t quite work for you. You have knowledge of the propaganda disseminated at the time. But it might not be true. I’ve never looked at it in depth. There are many better examples than the history of a planet in quarantine. But they had a few revolutions I am very familiar with. There is a new book coming out by Professors Ignor and Sleep about the Truman Decision. I’ve heard it is riveting, a real screen turner. And it’s less than a quarter of a million words long. Concise by historian standards.”
“Can we perhaps return to the problem at hand?” said Trill, rolling his eyes.
“It’s simple. You leave or you die,” replied Allor. He drummed his fingers on the cylinder and looked at the numeric display.
“But we don’t want to leave,” said Trill. “We have many things to offer you. Things far greater than a simple remedium. What does that get you?”
“Healthy people,” replied Ova.
“Oh, yes, that’s right. You two got married or something like that recently. Sorry I missed the ceremony. I glanced at the recording on the way over.”
“We won’t give the technology back,” said Allor.
“Yes you will. You just won’t know that you did,” said Trill with a laugh.
“You will die first,” replied Allor.
“Will you please stop it with the kill everyone threats. It’s simple. We want to put an embassy on Earth 7 and have one of our representatives here to help you make progress. We don’t want to take the tech back yet. So go ahead and use it all you want. We’re here to help you.”
“How do I know I can trust you? Are you a historian?” asked Ova.
“No, I am not.”
“Pity,” replied Ova.
“And what do you want in return?” asked Allor.
“The historian and a writer named…what’s his name again? Tip?”
“Ip.”
“That’s right, Ip,” replied Trill.
“Never heard of him,” replied Allor.
“Apparently he’s something very special out in the stars. Boy, is he in for a surprise,” replied Trill.
Just then, the curtains parted again. This time Pens came in wearing his purple robe. He took a couple of steps into the temple then dramatically pulled his cloak back from his robe.
“And who is this idiot?” asked Trill.
“I am Pens, High Priest of the Cult of Allor,” said Pens with his most alpha stance possible for a secretly effeminate man.
Trill looked at Wingut, then Allor. Wingut shrugged, Allor stared back with a wild look in his eyes. Then Trill made the connection.
“Wait a minute, you’re Pens, the one that had his mother murdered, what was her name?” Trill said.
Then came the loudest human voice any of them had ever heard.
“TAL. HER NAME WAS TAL,” roared Allor as he drew his sword.
CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
MinKey and Dubitam were standing outside of the makeshift laboratory in the basement of the temple.
“What’s so important?” Dubitam asked as MinKey walked back from the door after checking to see that they were alone.
“Listen carefully, darling,” said MinKey. “I’ve done it.”
“Done what?”
“Figured out how to get to Koven’s ship. I’ve also looked up the model and found out how to get inside. And I think I can use the onboard systems to make it take us anywhere we want. Many systems are automated.”
“No. Impossible. I tried for hours. I could never target it.”
“You looked at it too hard because you are too smart. It was a simple answer.”
“What?”
“Geostationary orbit. That’s all it was. All we had to do was calibrate it to look directly overhead. It found the ship all by itself.”
“You’re kidding,” replied Dubitam.
“No, my love,” replied MinKey.
“This is wonderful,” said a smiling Dubitam.
“Then let’s go,” she replied.
“I’ll go get Allor and Ova,” said Dubitam.
“No, darling. We go alone.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to go out into space with two people that expect me to worship them or think they are my king and queen. I want it to just be you and me, together.”
“But I can’t leave them behind. I’ve worked for him since I first had to shave.”
“It’s time for you to do a different job.”
“But he is my friend,” replied Dubitam.
“No he isn’t. It’s a hierarchal relationship. Master and slave. You’ve just become institutionalized into thinking it’s your natural place. Well, it’s not. Your natural place is beside me, out there in the stars. The Crystal Falls of Delerium. Don’t you want to go see them? Go sing in front of them?”
“Yes, I do. But I can’t just leave Allor. It would be wrong. It would be a betrayal.”
<
br /> “Listen to you. Do you hear yourself? Ask yourself if he would make the same sacrifice for you. Well? Would he? NO. No way. Not in a million revs.”
“I can’t,” said Dubitam. “He is my friend. I won’t leave him behind. I just can’t.”
“Why? Why not. I’m offering you the stars and obviously myself as part of the bargain too. And you’re turning it down for what? A man that uses you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were in love with him.”
What happened next was a long, eerie silence. In the moments of quiet, MinKey began to arrange facts in her head. Dubitam had never really shown her physical affection. He had never tried to kiss her. He had never held her hand. And they had never had sex. For all she knew, Dubitam was asexual. The light was now on.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked him angrily.
“I didn’t want to lose you,” he said.
“As a lab assistant? That’s all you cared about?”
“And as a friend.”
“Asshole.”
“I love him. I can’t help it. I tried not to.”
“You’re such a jerk. You knew how I felt about you and you didn’t tell me. I am so angry with you right now.”
“I’m sorry. I really am. And it’s not that I don’t like you. I really do. I’ve imagined what it would be like to have children with you.”
“Wait a minute, you like men,” MinKey said.
“I like both men and women. But I’m in love with only one.”
“Yeah, OK,” she said very sarcastically, “if they are going to wipe everyone’s memory, then have a nice time with that. Give me your arm,” she said.
Dubitam put his arm out.
“Not that one, the one with the comms,” MinKey said.
Dubitam put out his other arm. She pressed the comms bracelet a few times then said “copy,” “destination,” “voice identity,” “run away with MinKey.”
“That should do it,” she said.
“Do what?”
